Chance
by tadri33
Summary: Amanda has returned from her angry departure two years later to see her brother. As turmoil enters the lives of Amanda and Arthur once again, can they survive a jealous enemy? When their love is tested, will it prove true? Completed!
1. Heartache

Chance

The sequel to The Look of Hope

Chapter 1: Heartache

Disclaimer: This is the sequel to The Look of Hope, and I own Amanda, Nicolarious, Gurshion, Kylian, Edem, and any other characters that are not originally part of King Arthur the movie.

Note: Hey guys! I'm back, with the sequel. Still waiting to hear a bit more about the ending of the other... (hint hint!) Let me know how you like this one!

* * *

The early pinks and oranges of the morning Sun shone over the hills and Amanda stood in her doorway watching it rise. Her golden locks were tangled, and her blue eyes tired, but something was keeping her awake. The shuffle of feet behind her made her turn, but knew it was Edem. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. He ran his hand through his thick, ear length, dark brown, curly hair and Amanda turned back to the Sunrise. Edem came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, hugging her close to him. Amanda craned her neck to look at him, and he planted a soft kiss upon her lips.

"This is the tenth day now that you've not had a good rest," he said. Amanda turned away and sighed.

"I know," replied Amanda, "I've had a lot to think about."

"About your brother?" asked Edem. Amanda nodded.

"It's been almost two years since I've seen him last," Amanda said. Her hand wandered to the blue gem around her neck, and her eyes stared out into a vast emptiness. Edem and she stood there for a few minuets, just with each other. Amanda met Edem a few months after she left Arthur and the Knights, and has been living with him ever since. At first it was just until she could find somewhere else, but she and Edem began to care for each other in a way most others don't. The two made a beautiful couple, as they had been told. There was something about his dark brown curly hair and deep green eyes that captivated Amanda, entertained her, and felt what he felt.

"Well, if you miss him Amanda, go see him," said Edem. Amanda sighed and walked back into the little house.

"He probably hates me Edem. Besides, there's someone else in the city who does hate me. I won't be welcome there," said Amanda, referring to Arthur.

"It's one person Amanda, how powerful could they possibly be?" asked Edem. Amanda shook her head with one of those smiles that mean "if only you knew."

"Edem," said Amanda, "you might be surprised."

* * *

About that same time, Arthur was walking around his bedroom silently, restless.

"Arthur?" said the soft musical voice of a woman, coming from the bed along the opposite bed.

"Yes Evelina?" asked Arthur. Evelina rose from the bed, and walked over to Arthur, leaving a small kiss on his cheek.

"What is it darling?" she asked. Arthur shrugged.

"I don't know," he lied, "I had a bad dream." A bad dream about Amanda. After two whole years of not seeing her, and all of a sudden he has a bad dream about her. Pulling a shirt on over his head, and some boots on his feet, Arthur left to go pray. He and Evelina had been together for some time now. She came a few months after Amanda had left, and Arthur was instantly attracted to her. Her long, flowing auburn hair mixed in well with her mahogany brown eyes. Everyone around the city was expecting them to marry, and very soon. No one questioned Amanda's disappearance anymore. Arthur made his way down to the chapel by the library, and thought about the dream all the way there. It was a dark, cold one, where the person you were dreaming about was being hurt, and you couldn't save them. Arthur had dreamed about Amanda in the hands of the Saxons, who had tied her to a tree and let the birds pick away at her dieing body. Horrific, yet he dreamed. It wasn't one of many. It was sudden, totally random dream he had of her, or was it? Reaching the chapel, Arthur entered, and closed the door behind him.

"Oh, Lord, you gave me a start," said Nicolarious, who kneeling. Arthur hadn't even seen him.

"Oh, sorry Nick, I didn't even see you. Since when did you start to pray?" asked Arthur, kneeling down beside him.

"I don't know, couple of weeks ago. I just had this inclination to start," said Nicolarious. Arthur shrugged, knowing he had begun to wear off on him. The two staid and prayed for a while, and then left together to eat some breakfast.

"Arthur, can I ask you something?" asked Nicolarious.

"Of course Nick. Anything," replied Arthur.

"Well," he began, "I had this dream last night, about my sister. She was in trouble. I was very vague, and I don't remember much of it, but the thing is, it was random. I haven't really thought about Amanda for a long time. What do you think?" Arthur was silent for a while, contemplating his own dream.

"Well, maybe God is trying to tell you something about her," answered Arthur.

"Do you think she's in trouble?" asked Nicolarious.

"I don't know. I don't think so. Maybe he just wants you to start thinking of her more often," answered Arthur. Nicolarious nodded in agreement. They reached the Round Table room and began to eat their breakfast. They were soon joined by Evelina, who was happy to see the two of them.

* * *

Amanda pulled one of Edem's tunics on and reached for a hair tie. She had to go see Nicolarious. I was out of the question to not see her brother for two years while he's growing up. Her heart was heavy, and she wouldn't allow it to be so any longer.

Edem was coming with her. He could be the on she was going to spend the rest of her life with, and Nicolarious had to meet his potential brother-in-law. So, the two rode to the capital, as hard and as fast as they could. They would reach there by nightfall, and she planned to have made a mends with her brother by the next morning.

After a few hours of hard riding, the couple stopped on top of a hill.

"I can see the city from here," Amanda said. Edem came to her side, and saw that the city was very close.

"Well then, "said Edem springing back upon his horse, "I don't see any reason to stop riding."

"Edem let the horses rest. They've been run ragged. Besides, my legs hurt," said Amanda. Edem sighed, and got off the horse.

After a long rest, they were back on the horses and cantering toward the city. As they came out of the woods, they passed the graveyard. Amanda looked at her parents passing headstones, and vowed she wouldn't eave here without seeing them. Trumpets rang out in pure, clean notes as they passed through the gates of the city. Dismounting, two stable boys took the horses away, and Amanda made her was for the palace, Edem in pursuit. Stopping before the steps the led up to the doors, Amanda took a deep breath and stared at the large wood doors. Edem interlaced his fingers with hers, and gave her a reassuring squeeze. She looked at him and he smiled.

"Everything is going to be fine," he said. Amanda nodded, but knew that it wasn't going to be that way. Amanda focused on the task at hand, and took the first few steps up the stairs. Finding courage in each step, her pace quickened, and she and Edem reached the doors in no time. The guards at the doors looked at the two skeptically, and they probably wouldn't have let them in if it weren't for the appearance of Kylian, who was reporting for his afternoon duties.

"Amanda!" cried Kylian.

"Kylian!" Amanda returned the cry.

"What brings you back here?" he asked.

"I've come to visit my brother," answered Amanda.

"Well, do come in then. I'll lead you right to him. He's usually at Arthur's side at this time of day. They should be eating lunch about now," he said, gazing at the Sun. He walked in, and led Amanda and Edem towards the Round Table room.

"Who is this fine young man you have here with you?" asked Kylian.

"Oh, goodness, I forgot. Kylian, this is Edem. Edem, Kylian. One of the Kings advisors," Amanda introduced.

"Pleasure to meet you," said Edem.

"The pleasure is mine," said Kylian. They reached the Round Table room and Kylian opened the door, walking in cheerily. Amanda suddenly froze. She couldn't do it anymore. Kylian was going to announce her and she wasn't going to be able to move. Why was she doing here? Amanda closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She heard her name escape Kylian's lips and she took a heavy step forward. Then another, and another. She walked into the Round Table room, and looked around. The reaction was worse then she had thought.


	2. Fool

Chapter 2: Changes

Disclaimer: Same thing as last time, but one more thing. In no way is this story historically accurate, I'm just putting stuff together so it makes the story more interesting.

Note: Props to Tracy137 for giving me my only review so far! Much appreciated!

* * *

Amanda stood in the room, the embarrassment creeping into her veins as they stared at her. Only a red headed woman stood and greeted her.

"Welcome, Lady Amanda. I am Evelina, please take a seat," she said, her voice soft, and pleasant. Amanda thanked her, and took a seat.

"Arthur," said Evelina, "Nicolarious, where are your manners?" But nothing could get to them. They sat there in bewilderment. Amanda smiled, and stood.

"Maybe I'm unwelcome here. Nicolarious, when you feel like it, I'll be at the nearest inn," said Amanda, turning and leaving. She walked out the door, and down the hall.

"Now wait a minuet!" she heard someone call. Turning, she saw Arthur coming down after her. She sighed, slightly relieved that her days ride out here hadn't gone to waste, "you mean to tell me that you are going to ride out here, and then leave?"

"Well, I wasn't planning on it to happen that way," answered Amanda, as calmly as she could. Arthur reached her, and his intense green eyes met her blue ones and they stared at each other for a while. For Amanda, it was a flooding moment. All those feelings she had for Arthur returned, and she had to resist the urge to embrace him at that moment.

"What took you so long to return?" asked Arthur, immediately regretting the answer, hoping that the answer wouldn't be him.

"I didn't think I'd be welcome," answered Amanda, with a slight smile. Arthur nodded, and opened his mouth to say something, but then turned to see a man his height with dark brown curly hair walking towards them.

"Ah," said Amanda, walking to him, "Arthur, this is Edem. Edem this is Arthur." Amanda took his hand in hers, and Edem smiled.

"It's pleasure to meet you Arthur," said Edem.

"Pleasure's all mine," Arthur replied, shaking his hand. He had slightly confused look on his face, but Amanda disregarded it.

"Arthur, please clarify with Nicolarious that he knows we will be at nearest inn," said Amanda.

"No, no, no. You are not going to stay at the nearest inn Amanda. You are to stay here, at the palace. Come, have some lunch, you both must be famished," said Arthur gesturing with his hands for them to follow him back to the Round Table Room. For the second time Amanda and Edem entered the room, but it was different now. Nicolarious stood and smiled at his sister. Amanda stopped and stared at him for a few moments, taking all the changes. He must have grown a whole foot, making him taller than she. His golden curls had reached past his ears and pale eyes a matured look to them. They finally embraced, and Amanda could feel how much stronger he had gotten. They let go, and Amanda took Nicolarious's hand.

"Nicolarious," she said, leading him over to Edem, "this Edem. Edem and I...well, Edem is the love of my life, in short terms." To her surprise, Nicolarious smiled.

"Well, you must a wonderful person to have captured my sisters' heart," he said, shaking Edem's hand with both hands.

"It was hard trying to care for one more person, she loves you very much," said Edem, returning Nicolarious' eagerness in shaking his hand. Amanda was happy to hear his brother to say this, but he was acting for too old for his age of 12. What had changed him so? After they finished, Amanda and Edem walked back to their seats. Evelina sat in Amanda's old seat now, but Amanda preferred not to sit in that seat.

"So Amanda," asked Nicolarious, "what brings you back-" but he was interrupted by the shouting of two men running down the halls.

"Where is she?" shouted one.

"Open the door!" cried the other. Amanda realized who it was, and jumped up, pressing her body against the wall nearest the door. Galahad and Gawain busted into the room, and eagerly looked around.

"Where is she?" asked Gawain. Amanda removed herself from the wall and snuck up behind them. She quickly placed her hands over their eyes, though it was rather hard due to the height difference. They both turned and looked at Amanda. Amanda smiled widely as they looked at her. Galahad was the first to react, lifting her up in the air and shouting.

"You've come back, finally!" he cried, and then put her down. The last time she saw Galahad this happy was over two years ago, before Bishop Ahias and Joseph came. The thought sent chills down her spine and she looked at Gawain.

"Welcome home, my dear," he said with a warm smile. He wrapped his arms around her and they embraced for a few moments.

"Gawain, Galahad, I want you to meet somebody," said Amanda, letting go of Gawain and walking over to Edem. "This is Edem. He and I are together." Galahad and Gawain smiled, shaking his hand politely, though Amanda got the impression that they weren't exactly pleased to meet him. The three resumed their seats, and began eating their lunch. Amanda looked up at the Lady Evelina, and noticed her looking at Amanda. Amanda smiled and she smiled beautifully back, which naturally put thoughts into Amanda's head.

_So Arthur loves this woman? No surprise, she like an angel. I bet she's good at everything too. A beautiful singer, and excellent artist, and intelligent no doubt. Does she use the library? She must. She probably redesigned it and no it looks even better. Or maybe she invented some type of book arrangement so it makes it easier for one to find a book in a library such as that_, Amanda thought. She was suddenly surprised with herself to be even thinking things like that. What had come over her? She was so lost in her thought that she didn't even hear her name being called, by none other than Evelina herself.

"Lady Amanda?" asked Evelina. Amanda shot her head up.

"Yes? I'm sorry, I was lost in thought. How many times did you say my name?"

"About seven," said Edem. Amanda felt all her blood rush to her face, and she put her head into her hands.

"I am terribly sorry Your Majesty," said Amanda.

"What have I got to do with this?" asked Arthur. That was two in a row now. Amanda sighed and realized her mistake. Looking over at Lady Evelina, she saw her perfect cheeks filling up with a soft pink color.

_Even her blood is beautiful_, thought Amanda. Shaking the thought away, Amanda realized Arthur was still waiting for an answer.

"Oh, nothing. I gave Lady Evelina that title because," she paused, "well I thought you and she were, well, married." Galahad then choked on his wine, and Gawain dropped his fork. Meanwhile, Edem and Nicolarious sat silently eating their food. Amanda looked at Arthur, then at Lady Evelina, and blushed even more fiercely than she did before.

"Oh God," she said under her breath, "Lady Evelina I am so sorry. For both things. I'm sorry I assumed your position and that I didn't hear you calling my name. Nicolarious, Galahad, Gawain, sorry for interrupting your lunch. Edem, sorry for making you look like a fool for loving a fool. I think it's best that I just go see to my horse." Amanda rose and left, kicking herself for letting herself be so vulnerable to mistake. Never had that happened to Amanda before, never.

* * *

Later that night, Amanda couldn't even bring herself down to dinner. She sat up in her room, the same she staid in last time. Edem was to stay in the room across the hall, Arthur maybe didn't like the idea of them sleeping together under his roof. While pouting over the day, a knock came at Amanda's door.

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Arthur," they answered. Wonderful. The last person she needed to see at the moment.

"Come in," said Amanda.

"Since when did you ask who was there?" he asked when he entered.

"Since I made a fool of myself at lunch," she answered, her face becoming downcast and embarrassed. Arthur sighed, and took a seat next to her upon her bed.

"You needn't worry about it. It was an honest mistake. And when you didn't hear her, we all knew you were wrapped up in thought. About what I don't know, but you haven't offended anyone. The worst thing that happened was you left us all confused," said Arthur, his deep voice seeming like that long lost treasure you keep inside your mind. Amanda looked up at Arthur, meeting his brilliant green eyes, and that feeling she once felt slowly controlled her body. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, completely at his will. But she remembered Evelina, and how those eyes now belonged to her. Amanda looked away, and shook off the feeling.

"So," she said, "I didn't make the mistake about you and Lady Evelina being together did I?"

"No, you didn't. She's just not married to me. Not yet anyway," he said, trailing off on the last line. Amanda's eyes widened.

"Congratulations Arthur! I'm so happy for you. When is the wedding?" asked Amanda.

"Well, it's not official yet. I haven't asked her to marry me yet. But, in time I believe I will. Soon," said Arthur. Amanda couldn't believe se was hearing this. How could he be marrying her?

"Well I know you'll be happy together," said Amanda. Arthur shifted, almost uncomfortably, and Amanda looked around the room.

"What about you and Edem?" asked Arthur.

"What about us?" Amanda asked.

"Well, are you two getting married any time soon?" he asked. Amanda chuckled.

"No, we're not engaged and we probably won't ever be. Our relationship is more of a 'just being together' basis. I don't think I'll ever marry," said Amanda.

"Yes you will. I know you will," replied Arthur.

"Oh really?" Amanda asked, rather playfully, "why do you say that?"

"Because, you're one of those types of people Amanda. Do you know what you're name really means?" asked Arthur.

"Stubborn, moody, a fool?" Amanda asked.

"No, it means 'One that must be loved, loveable'. You need to be loved in order to live. Don't deny it, you know it's true," said Arthur. Amanda smiled. It was true. She liked to be the center of attention, at least before her parents died. She got jealous easily when she wasn't.

"True, I agree. But I doubt I'll marry Edem. I'm not ready to be married yet," said Amanda. She saw Arthur smiling at her out of the corner of his eyes, but she disregarded it.

"Come," he said, "you must be starving."

"No Arthur, don't make me. I can't possibly face your Lady. I'll blush to death before I can say anything," begged Amanda.

"Nonsense," he said, "You are to come to dinner Amanda. It would be rude if you didn't."

"It would be rude to die while people are eating," argued Amanda. Arthur turned and faced her, a serious look on his face. Amanda thought she saw the trace of a smile in the corners of his lips, but he didn't smile. He walked over to her dresser, and opened up a drawer.

"What are you doing?" Amanda asked.

"Getting you a dress," he said, pulling out a soft white one, "This'll do." He handed it to Amanda, and started for the door.

"You cannot be serious," Amanda said.

"Oh I am," said Arthur, "Quite serious in fact. Get dressed, and I'll be waiting out in the hall. Be quick." He left Amanda pouting, the same way he found her. She changed hastily and brushed out her golden hair. She took a glance at herself in her vanity and thought she looked like a wreck. She walked out of her room to see Arthur leaning up against the wall in the hall. He straightened out when he saw her, and smiled at her.

"You look lovely," said Arthur. Amanda felt herself blush, and walked forward. "Wait," said Arthur, walking after her. She waited and when he reached her side, he held out his arm. Amanda was shocked. She placed her hand on his arm lightly and they walked down to the Round Table Room.

* * *

That night Amanda sat at her vanity brushing out her hair when a knock came at her door.

"Enter," she said. She looked in the mirror to see Edem entering, and she smiled. He placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her cheek.

"You looked beautiful tonight," he said. Amanda smiled at him and put her brush down. Edem sat down on her bed and Amanda followed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He lifted her up and put her on his lap.

"I'm so happy you talked me into coming back," said Amanda.

"I'm happy you're happy," said Edem. Amanda smiled sweetly and Edem pulled her in for a kiss.


	3. An Awkward Friendship

Chapter Three: An Awkward Friendship

Disclaimer: Same thing, just you can't use my story without my permission.

Note: Props go out to Tracy137 and Ailis-70for my only two reviews. But I love reading them, so I'm gonna keep going. It'd be mean to leave off anyway. Let me know if Amanda's character seems a lot different from the last story. Please review and happy reading!

* * *

The Sun was shining in through the windows, and Amanda opened her eyes slowly. Edem's arm was wrapped around her from the night before, and she rolled over to face him. The summer's heat was already amongst them already, and it was only early in the morning. Amanda peered up at Edem's face and saw that he was still sleeping heavily. Removing his arm, Amanda got out of bed quietly. Dressing in pants and a tunic, Amanda left her room for a morning walk. It was going to be a beautiful day, she could already sense it, and beautiful day would have a good start if she stopped by her parents' graves. Leaving the city and walking slowly towards the grave yard, Amanda often walked in the mornings now. Edem usually came with her, but not now. Now was too personal. As odd as it seems, Edem and Amanda weren't that in tune with each other. I was but a fling. Coming closer to the grave yard, Amanda could see the two headstones, side by side, solemnly sitting there. Amanda imagined her parents faces, her fathers kind smile, and loving eyes. Her mothers scolding face, with a hint of a smile in the corners of her lips. Amanda smiled, and sighed.

"Who's there?" said someone to her left. Amanda jumped.

"Amanda," she answered into the graveyard.

"Who?" they asked again. The light tones made Amanda assume it was a woman.

"Amanda Marslyn, who are you?" she asked, entering the graveyard. Standing on the far side of the graveyard was a dark haired woman, with light brown eyes. Her hair went down to her shoulders, soft waves of espresso. Her skin olive, and her lips a ruby red. Her nose, a long narrow Roman nose. She had to be Italian.

"Caia Donellia," she answered. Amanda drew closer, and smiled. Caia didn't smile back, but the tension lightened.

"May I ask why you're here so early?" asked Lady Donellia.

"My parents are buried here, milady," answered Amanda, "may I ask why you are here at the same early hour?" Lady Donellia shifted her weight, and looked at the grave she was standing in front of. Amanda couldn't see the name on it, but she knew it had been there for a long time.

"Just visiting. You should really try to not be so open about things, Lady Amanda," she said. Amanda raised her eyebrows.

"I was simply answering you. I apologize if I offended you," said Amanda.

"Well no, you didn't, but not everyone wants to know exactly what you're doing. Try a simpler answer next time," she said. Though it seemed like a rude comment, Amanda took it to heart. There was something about this girl that made her interesting. Amanda smiled and turned back to her parents graves.

"I'm sorry, did you say your name was Amanda Marslyn?" asked the Lady Donellia.

"Yes," answered Amanda.

"I have never met you before, why not? Surely, you must have just moved here," said Lady Donellia.

"Well, I used to live..." Amanda stopped and began to think about what she had told her, and rerouted to a simpler answer, "I used to live here, but I went away for a while." Lady Donellia smiled, knowing Amanda had changed her answer.

"Wait a moment!" she cried, obviously figuring out something important, "that would make you Nicolarious's sister! The one who left two years ago." Amanda smiled meekly, nodding her head in agreement. Lady Donellia smiled widely, and walked over to Amanda.

"You're not much like your brother, are you?" she asked.

"What ever do you mean?" asked Amanda.

"Nicolarious is the type of person who lets things go, he doesn't care what the public thinks of him. But you, you do care don't you? You care dearly," said Lady Donellia. Amanda felt herself go red, but she knew it was true.

"Yes, that sounds quite true," answered Amanda softly.

"Meet me tomorrow in the market, we'll have a small talk," she said, and she left.

* * *

The day passed swiftly after that, while Amanda pondered two things. Lady Donellia and the ball Nicolarious was having in her honor. It didn't make any sense. Why would Lady Donellia suddenly take an interest in her? So spontaneously, and in a graveyard? It didn't make any sense. Yet, maybe it was something she did. And as for the ball, was it suddenly a custom that they have a ball in her honor? So many questions, and no one to answer them. It bothered Amanda to no end. She headed back for the palace, and when she was almost half way there, Amanda saw a most peculiar site. In the distance, heading in the opposite direction, Lady Evelina was quickly walking towards the woods. Amanda's eyebrows raised, and thoughts began racing through her mind. She watched Lady Evelina disappear into the woods, and Amanda started to head back to the palace.

_Why on Earth is Lady Evelina going into the woods?_ she thought, _running away? No, perhaps sneaking away? _Amanda smirked at her thoughts.

"The thought of that? Maybe he asked her, and she is a bit frightened," Amanda said to herself, referring to Arthur asking Lady Evelina's hand in marriage.

"What in God's name are you talking about?" asked a deep voice Amanda knew so well. Shooting her head up, Amanda saw Arthur walking towards her. She instantly felt the blood rush from her face. "I didn't mean to startle you, I beg your pardon."

"Quite all right, Your Majesty," Amanda replied, and began to walk around him.

"_You're Majesty_?" Arthur asked, almost spitting out the word, "you haven't called me that in ages."

"Partially because I haven't been here for ages, You're Majesty," answered Amanda sarcastically. She thought she saw the faint turn of a smile in the corner of his lips, but it might have just been a twitch.

"But yesterday, when you and I talked. You called me Arthur then, why not now?" asked Arthur.

"Forgive me, You're Majesty, I had forgotten my place," Amanda said in a tone of finality, and she continued to walk. He didn't say anything further on the matter, and Amanda picked up her pace, assuming he wouldn't.

"Lady Amanda," he called, the title ringing in her ears and sending chills down her spine. "You haven't seen Lady Evelina, have you?" Amanda stopped in her tracks. Her face strickend, thankfully her back was turned, and she now began to wonder.

"Is she missing?" she asked, back still turned.

"Yes, I haven't seen her all morning," he answered. Amanda then turned and looked Arthur right in his brilliant green eyes.

"No, Arthur, I haven't seen her today," she said.


	4. Falling

Chapter 4: Falling

Disclaimer: Same thing...

Note: Props to my only two reviewers so far. Love you guys!

* * *

Amanda stared into his eyes, lying wasn't one of her talents, but she seemed to be sailing pretty smoothly. Arthur slightly squinted at her, trying to read her, and then walked towards her. His green eyes seemed to be a bit brighter, and the flecks of gold stood out.

"Very well then. If you do happen to see her, tell her I'm looking for her. Good morning," and with that he left. Amanda stood there and watched him go, back to the palace, making sure he was gone before she took her next step. As soon as he disappeared, Amanda turned to face the woods.

What are you up to Lady Evelina? Amanda thought. Taking a sure step in the direction of the woods, Amanda's eyes narrowed and her mind set. She was going to find out what Lady Evelina was doing in the woods. She started to walk briskly towards the woods, and her eyes searched for Lady Evelina's graceful figure.

"Amanda!" someone called. Amanda's head shot in the direction of the caller to see Gawain galloping on his horse in her direction.

"What?" she cried back.

"It's Nicolarious! He's hurt!" he answered. Amanda's heart stopped. Her mind was wiped clean and worry invaded her soul. She started to run. If she could do anything, it was run. She ran towards Gawain, who stopped his horse.

"Where is he?" she asked.

"He fell from the-"Gawain started, but Amanda cut him off.

"Just tell me where he is Goddamn it!" she cried.

"In the great hall," he answered, stunned. Amanda ran in that direction. Gawain began saying something to her, but Amanda couldn't hear him. All her senses seemed to have stopped working. The only thing that would work was her legs, and they too would soon have to stop. Everything seemed dull, and dim. The wall was just a grey mass in front of her. It was as if the shining Sun wasn't providing enough light. She reached the wall and the gates were open to the villagers and farmers to pass through. Nothing could stop her. Her quick feet carried her to the steps in front of the palace, and skipping two steps, she ran up those to reach her brother. She flung open the doors, and looked around. There was a group of people standing and kneeling in a circle around something. Amanda rushed over there and shoved her way between the people, and saw Nicolarious. He was lying on the ground, blood pouring from his head and nose. His eyes were shut, and his legs lay limp in twisted positions legs don't normally go in. She kneeled down beside him, and silence washed over her body.

Oh my God, please let him be alive. Disfigure him, and pain him as much as you wish, but please, oh please, do not let him die. Amanda begged to God. The caretaker of the palace lifted Nicolarious's wrist, and held is to check his vital signs.

"Get this boy up to his room! Donovan, I'll need my tools," he said. Amanda gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth. As a delayed a reaction it was, Amanda started to cry. She slouched down and let the tears fall freely. Someone from behind her touched her shoulder and came down beside her. Amanda turned to see Arthur there, and he wrapped an arm around her, as she leaned into his chest and cried. Slowly, but surely, Arthur's other arm found its way around Amanda's waist as Amanda continued to cry. They stayed like that for a long while before a sudden crash caused the two of them to jump and separate. Amanda looked up and saw Edem standing over an unlit torch. He rushed over, seeing the tears in Amanda's arms.

"Amanda, what's wrong?" he asked. She looked at Arthur, who was looking at her, and he rose. Amanda followed, and Edem embraced her.

"Nicolarious fell, and he is, oh my goodness!" Amanda said and began running up the stairs. Why is it that she always forgets about the world when she's with Arthur? Her brother was up in his room bleeding to death, and she was downstairs being ripped in two by two men. Flying up the stairs, Amanda left Arthur and Edem alone in the hall.

"I hate it when she does that," said Arthur.

"It's really quiet ridiculous," agreed Edem. The two stopped and looked at each other, the two of them obviously both having some dose of Amanda, only Edem's relationship was a bit more open. Realizing this, Edem smiled widely to himself. The King and he now had a personal secrete.

* * *

The rest of the day, Amanda sat outside Nicolarious's room with Edem and Arthur, and Evelina whom eventually arrived, and received a stern glance from Arthur. The man named Donavon periodically came out to update the crowd on how Nicolarious was doing. Each time it got worse and worse. Edem sat on the floor and Evelina in a chair. Amanda paced the floor while biting her nails. And Arthur leaned up the wall, watching Amanda pace. Evelina sat across from him, and frequently she looked up at Arthur to see him still watching Amanda. This caused Edem to look at Arthur, and then at Evelina, and then at Amanda, who wasn't watching anybody, but was watching the door to Nicolarious's room. Eventually, Evelina got tired of looking at Arthur and not receiving and look back, and excused herself to bed. Edem eventually left to find dinner, and never returned. So it was just the two. The two who cared for Nicolarious the most. Gawain and Galahad couldn't bear to sit outside the boys' room and worry, so they went to drink the incident away. Amanda still didn't know what had happened, except that he had fallen. When this occurred to Amanda, she stopped pacing and looked at Arthur, whom, to her extreme surprise, was looking at her. As if waiting for her to ask the question.

"Tell me what happened," said Amanda softly. For the first time all night, Arthur looked away from her, and sighed.

"He fell," answered Arthur.

"Yes, I picked up on that," retorted Amanda, whom was tired, hungry, and not in the mood to be pushed aside.

"He tripped, over the ledge. He fell over the railing before I could grab him. He fell head first to the floor," answered Arthur more specifically. Amanda put her hand over her face and leaned up against the opposite wall. Slowly, she slid down the wall onto the floor, and started to cry again. Her eyes were burning, but the tears kept coming. She hated to be crying in front of Arthur, she hated showing she was weak. It was impossible from Nicolarious to survive a fall like that.

_Please let him live God,_ Amanda thought.

"Please," she begged out loud.

"Please what?" asked Arthur softly. Amanda looked at him.

"I was praying, no begging, out loud to God to let Nicolarious live. It seems impossible for him to survive now. Not from a fall like that," answered Amanda. Arthur sighed, and went over to Amanda. He stuck out a hand, and Amanda took it. He pulled her up, and embraced her. At first, Amanda felt out of place, but then, she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and appreciated the comfort it was to have him holding her.

"It's going to be alright," said Arthur. Amanda could see now why he made such an excellent King. He was so gentle and compassionate, yet firm in everything he did. He was strong, but not a tyrant. He was like a saint sent by God himself. The door then opened, and the Caretaker appeared. His tunic was bloodied, and his face weary. Arthur and Amanda let go of each other, and waited for the results. The Caretaker cleared his throat, and walked towards Amanda, looking her right in the eye. Amanda feared the worst.

"He is alive, but only for now. He may not make it through the night. If he does, he should live. The way he fell, his back is severely injured. Should he live, he probably will never walk again," he said. Amanda felt her brothers' pain immediately. Never walk again? Nicolarious would rather die. How would he ever live? Fresh tears brimmed in her eyes. Amanda nodded her head, and thanked the Caretaker.

"He's unconscious at the moment, but you may go in and see him," said the Caretaker before he left, "I'm terribly sorry." Amanda entered an unexplainable, indescribable state of pain. She felt everything for her brother. How would she ever tell Nicolarious that he would never walk again? She couldn't, she just wouldn't. She entered the room and saw her brother lying there. His face was bruised and cut. There was a bandage around his head, which a small red spot on it. There was another wrapped around his middle, and his arms and legs lay limp at his sides. Amanda's hand wandered to her neck, and felt the chain of the necklace Nicolarious had given her two years ago. The sapphire wasn't glowing as brightly as it usually did. Removing it, Amanda carefully placed it around Nicolarious's neck. She then knelt down beside his bed, and began to pray.

"I guess you answered my prayers. I told you that you could do whatever you pleased just as long as he didn't die. I suppose I should be thanking you that he has made it this far, but I just can't seem to find it in me to do it. How could you ever do this to a boy? Why did you let this happen? You tyrant! I hate you." Amanda made the sign of the holy cross on her body, and unfolded her hands. But she didn't rise. She was too weak to rise, and carry her weary body away from her dieing brother. She had forgotten that Arthur was there, and she looked up at him in the doorway. He stood there, emotionless, arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the door. She looked away, and turned back to her brother. She was in for a long night.


	5. Strong

Chapter 5: Strong

Disclaimer: I don't own Arthur, or his knights, but I do own all the characters that weren't originally part of King Arthur the movie.

Note: Thanks to Tracy137 for most of my reviews.

* * *

_She could feel her heart beating, her throat sore from yelling. It was raining, and the drops beat down heavily upon her head. Her back was to the wall, over looking the fields. She looked up at him, and his green eyes smiled down at her. He stopped walking towards her, and his hands went around her hips. His body came closer as he leaned down to her. Her eyes began to slowly close as she felt his lips touch hers. Lightly, grazing as first, and pulling away. She opened her eyes, looking at him, wanting more. She put her hand around her neck, and he pulled her in once more, giving her the most passionate kiss she'd ever had. Happiness had prevailed. _

Amanda woke up, blinking her eyes and looking around. The summer Sun was shining through the window, and the birds were chirping. She could feel Nicolarious's hand in hers, and she looked at him. He was still unconscious, but the bruises didn't seem as bad as they were the night before. If it even was the night before. Amanda turned away to look for Arthur. He wasn't there, so she got up. She kissed her brother on his head and left the room. She couldn't decide whether or not she should go to bed and rest or find something to eat. Deciding to do the former, she headed down to the Round Table Room. Her legs felt heavy, and her head wouldn't stay up. Eventually, she got there, and opened the door. At first, it seemed no one was in there, but as the door widened, Amanda saw everyone in there. Edem jumped up to greet her, rushing over to her and kissing her on the cheek. She smiled slightly, and he sat her down. Gawain and Galahad looked as bad as she felt, and Edem had bags under his eyes. Arthur's hair seemed a bit greyer than usual, and his eyes were bloodshot. Evelina was the only healthy looking one. She smiled at Amanda, and Amanda barely glanced back. Jols placed a dish in front of her, and a glass of water. Amanda guzzled down the water, and began to eat her food. She looked up at Arthur, and saw him looking at her.

"How long have I been sleeping?" she asked.

"Only for a few hours," answered Arthur, "and I think you passed out from lack of everything rather than fallen asleep."

"How is he?" asked Gawain softly. Amanda averted her attention to Gawain, and then looked down at her plate.

"He's still unconscious. But he made it through the night," answered Amanda as quietly as Gawain had asked. He nodded, and returned to his food. Galahad cleared his throat, and Amanda looked at him.

"The Caretaker told me he's more than likely paralyzed. Is that true?" asked Galahad. Amanda shrugged.

"We won't know until he wakes," she answered. She took another bite of her food, and slowly chewed. Galahad and Gawain excused themselves, something about training the troops. Edem excused himself to go see Nicolarious, and Arthur left to tend to some farming details. So it was just Amanda and Evelina.

"I heard you and Arthur spent quite a bit of time together last night," said Evelina.

"We weren't together to be together Lady Evelina, we were there for Nicolarious," answered Amanda rather grumpily.

"Ah," she answered. "I see. He does care for Nicolarious very much, you know."

"Yes I know," answered Amanda.

"I'm beginning to think he cares for him more than you do," she said as politely as she usually is. Not a hint of sarcasm in her voice, which made it even worse.

"Why on Earth would you think that, Lady Evelina?" asked Amanda through gritted teeth.

"Well, you are the one who left him two years ago, were you not?" asked Evelina back. Amanda's eyes narrowed.

"Yes, for his own good," answered Amanda, her anger rising inside her chest.

"Oh. I thought you left because you loved Arthur," replied Evelina. Amanda felt her jaw drop. This was unbelievable.

"You're quite right, milady. I was afraid of getting hurt by someone like you," retorted Amanda. She knew it wasn't much, but anything to anger Lady Evelina.

"Oh, but my dear, didn't you know that he would only love you until something better came along?" asked Evelina. That was it. Amanda wasn't going to sit here and take this.

"My darling, don't you know?" asked Amanda as politely as she could.

"Know what?" asked Lady Evelina, her eyebrows raised.

"That he doesn't love you anymore because something better came along?" asked Amanda.

"Oh really, and what may that be?" asked Lady Evelina, smiling.

"Me." And with that said and taken care of, Amanda left the room, feuding. Maybe it would have been better if she had gone to bed. Yet, the feeling of victory overwhelmed Amanda and a continuous smile played upon her lips.

* * *

Somehow, that night Amanda found herself at the tavern in the city. She had already had drunk. She thought of her brother, and how unwell he was. Not even the drink could sooth the pain. She hadn't gone back to his room that day. Instead she had locked herself in her room and wasted the day either sleeping or crying. Suddenly, Amanda was pushed forward into her drinks by someone from behind her. When the weight fell off, she turned around and stood looking for the culprit. She saw a black haired man, with big hazel, almost golden, eyes staring at her.

"I'm terribly sorry," he said immediately, "I tripped over this poor man. Forgive my, milady." He bowed deeply, and Amanda's anger seemed to dissipate.

"Watch yourself," Amanda said.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Adonis Gregili," he said. And Adonis he was. His name meant 'good looking', and it was very true. His dark hair was pulled back, and his skin olive, obviously Italian. His golden eyes were big with long dark eyelashes to compliment him. He was tall, and well built. You could see every muscle on him was toned and strong.

"Amanda Marslyn," replied Amanda. She sat back down, and listened to Adonis walk away. When Amanda turned to face her drinks, she saw the cups gone. She looked up and saw Lady Donellia sitting across from her. She smiled pleasantly, and handed Amanda a full mug.

"What do you want?" Amanda asked rudely, the alcohol taking full effect on her. Lady Donellia smiled wider.

"You most certainly are not a lady of any sort," she said.

"Gee, it took you that long to figure that out. Most people get that impression when they first meet me," retorted Amanda. To her surprise, Lady Donellia giggled.

"It seems you forgot our little meeting this morning," she said. Amanda rolled her eyes.

"I'll have you know," she said, "I didn't forget. I've been sitting next to my brother, who just happens to be on his death bed, praying to God he'll survive! I know you don't like to know more than what you want to hear, but that's the truth." Lady Donellia continued to smile.

"I know all about your brother, and I'm sorry. When I saw you in here I thought we'd be able to meet now. But you're too intoxicated to do anything except go home. Which I am ordering you to do," she said. Amanda slammed her drink down.

"You're not my Queen, most certainly not my King. You can't tell me to do anything!" she cried.

"No, she's not. But I am," said that deep voice from behind her. Amanda shut her eyes and told God to just have him cut her head off right now. Slowly she turned, and saw not only Arthur, but Edem, Gawain, and Galahad as well. She sighed, and rose, or she tried to. She lost her footing and fell back into her chair before she could take a step. Edem went forward to help her, but she pushed him off.

"Leave me alone Edem," she said. She stood again, and took a few steps. She fell forward, and Arthur caught her.

"Let go of me Arthur!" she yelled, "I'm fine!"

"You are far from it," he said back, just as loud. She looked up at him, anger in her eyes, and welling in her body, to see even angrier eyes staring back. Amanda ripped her arms out of his hands, and stormed crookedly away. Gawain, and Edem followed her to make sure she didn't hurt herself.

"Thank you Caia," said Galahad, "for telling us where she was."

"Yes, thank you," said Arthur.

"You're more than welcome. I'm glad I could be of service," she replied with a smile. The two men left, Arthur angrier than ever at Amanda. He caught up with her in the palace and grabbed her by her arm.

"Let go of me!" she yelled as he dragged her down the hallways to the library.

"Arthur let go!" she screamed. Lady Evelina met up with Arthur in one of the hallways.

"Arthur, make her stop. Her behavior is unacceptable!" she complained. Amanda began to go after her.

"Get put of here you wench! I'll make my behavior even more unacceptable by strangling you!" she screamed. Arthur was the only thing holding her back from actually doing it. He held so hard Amanda thought her arm might fall off. Evelina stood there, appalled and started complaining again about why Arthur even let Amanda stay here.

"Quiet!" he yelled, "the both of you! You're both acting ridiculous! Evelina, I've heard enough from you! I'm taking care of the situation."

"Oh so that's what I am? A situation?" cried Amanda.

"Yes! Now be quiet!" yelled Arthur. Amanda glared daggers at him, but she fell silent. Arthur continued to the library, and Evelina went back to her room. When he reached the library, he opened the door, pushed Amanda down into a seat, and slammed the door.

"What the hell has gotten into you?" he yelled. Amanda stood, "Sit! I'm not finished yet! Your brother is upstairs unconscious, possibly dying, and you're down at the tavern getting drunk! How could you even do this? Edem has been worried sick! Gawain and Galahad have been searching the ends of the world, and I have been missing everything else I should be doing to find you! Have you really become that irresponsible?" His words sliced through her like a million knifes. She had acted irrationally and irresponsibly. She cast her eyes down, too embarrassed to even look at him.

"What ever possessed you to do this?" he asked his voice normal now, caring.

"I don't know. I'm so worried about Nicolarious. I just needed to get away," answered Amanda. Arthur sat down next to her and looked at her.

"Amanda, you are too good for doing that. We're all worried about Nicolarious, but don't let that force you to become something you're not," he said. Amanda looked at him, but looked away, too ashamed of herself to face such a righteous man.

"Why don't you look at me? That's something you've always done," he asked.

"I'm not worthy to look upon a saint," she said. Arthur began to laugh.

"I am no saint, believe me. Don't think you're not worthy. You are to strong to be ashamed of yourself. Don't let your action hinder you as much as they do. Let things go," he said. Amanda looked at him again, holding his gaze. He smiled, and she smiled back.

"Go to bed," he said. Amanda nodded, and headed to bed. Edem was standing outside her door when she got there. She was ready to pass out, being drunk and tired. Edem noticed this, and simply went to bed, without a word, in his own room. Amanda sighed, but went off to bed for a deep slumber.


	6. Dreams

Chapter 6: Dream

Disclaimer: Still the same

Note: Thanks to my two faithful reviewers...I'm beginning to not care that you're the only two.

* * *

Amanda awoke the next day barely being able to think. Her head was pounding, and her vision blurred. That was the last time she'd ever drink again. She felt two hands lift her up, and prop pillows behind her back.

"Drink," said Edem's voice, as he placed a cup to her lips. Amanda obeyed and sipped from the glass. When the thick liquid reached inside her mouth however, she spat it out.

"What is this?" she asked in disgust, trying to cry, but her voice hoarse from all the yelling she did last night.

"The remedy to your pounding head," Edem said forcefully back. Amanda had never heard him speak so firmly with her. As her eyes cleared, she could see Edem wiping his face of what Amanda had spat out.

"I'm so sorry Edem," she apologized meekly. He glanced at her sternly, but softened instantly.

"It's alright. Now drink, it has herb in it that'll make you feel better," Edem said.

"Who told you that," Amanda asked.

"Bors," answered Edem. Amanda nodded and figured it had to be true then. She took the cup back and placed it to her lips once again. Sipping slowly, the fowl taste entered her mouth once again. She hastily swallowed and winced as the burning sensation slid down her throat. She handed Edem back the cup, not wanting any more to do with the drink, and rested her head back.

"You need rest," said Edem.

"No, I need to get up and see Nicolarious. Is he..." her voice trailed off. She didn't want to ask if her brother was still alive again. What if Edem said no?

"I don't know, I've been with you all morning. When I left last night he was alive," answered Edem. Amanda nodded, and then pushed back the sheets. Edem's hand went to Amanda's shoulder to push her down, but Amanda gave him a firm glance, and he forgot about trying to hold her back. She went to her drawers and pulled out a simple white dress; just something she could put on and be off. Arthur had had dresses made for her when she came because she had only brought two. Secretly, they were the only two she owned, but there was no need to let Arthur know that. Walking over to her vanity, Amanda brushed her hair swiftly and splashed some water on her face and into her mouth. Spitting that out, she left. She walked slowly down to her brothers room, her mind exhausted from that dressing. When she turned the corner to the hall where Nicolarious's room was, Amanda saw a curious site. Four men were carrying Nicolarious away on a plank of wood.

"Wait! What is going on here?" Amanda called as loud as she could, while running down the hall. The four men looked back at her, and then at the Caretaker. The Caretaker gestured for them to move along and then he turned to Amanda. Her worst nightmare had come true. Nicolarious was dead. How could she have let this happen? How could she be so irresponsible? Arthur's words rand loudly in her ears. Reaching the Caretaker, Amanda's mind began to race.

"Where are you taking him?" Amanda asked anxiously.

"To my healing place," answered the Caretaker.

"Is he dead?" Amanda asked, tears filling her eyes.

"Oh no child," answered the Caretaker, "he's still unconscious. I'm just moving him down the Healing Room because Harvest Season is coming, and the air will cool. The Healing Room has glassed windows. We'll keep him warm there." Amanda sighed, extremely relieved. Her brother wasn't dead. Her sweet, dear Nicolarious was alive. The Caretaker seemed to have sensed Amanda's relief and patted her on the shoulder.

"I have a feeling he'll live through this, Lady Amanda," said the Caretaker. Amanda nodded, and watched the Caretaker go.

"Is he alright?" asked someone. Amanda turned to see Gawain, looking at her in distress.

"He's fine," answered Amanda with a smile.

"Good. Are you alright?" he asked, the hint of playfulness in his voice.

"Hell no," answered Amanda. Gawain gasped.

"How dare you! I believe that's the first time I've heard you curse, _Lady_ Amanda," teased Gawain.

"No it isn't. I cursed at you the other day," answered Amanda, just as playful.

"Ah, yes. I forgot about that. You put me into shock, I didn't believe you said those words, especially that one. Tisk, tisk, and I thought you loved God," teased Gawain. Amanda laughed, and smiled widely at Gawain.

"Walk with me, tell me all that you have done in these two years," said Amanda. Gawain extended his arm, and Amanda gladly accepted. They began to walk and Gawain began to talk about the troops.

"They're marvelous, really. They're excelling at a rate Galahad and I never dreamed possible. But, that's enough about that. Tell me about the Edem fellow," said Gawain. Amanda felt blood rush to her cheeks.

"There's nothing to tell," said Amanda.

"Oh please," said Gawain.

"He's just..." Amanda paused, looking for the right word.

"Your love?" asked Gawain.

"No, I don't know. I think I love him, but no that I'm back here with Nicolarious, my priorities have changed," she said as they walked out in to the courtyard.

"Love isn't a priority Amanda. Especially for a girl like you," said Gawain. Amanda gave him a confused look, "You need to be loved Amanda. Without love, you're nothing."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" Amanda asked, exasperated.

"Because it's the truth!" said Gawain, "When you left here two years ago, you were looking for something more. But you didn't need to. You had all the love you could ever want in one place."

"That's not true," Amanda replied.

"Oh really? Who didn't love you? Jols?" asked Gawain.

"No. Arthur didn't love me," she answered.

"He did," said Gawain.

"I don't believe you," said Amanda.

"Fine, don't believe me. But I told you," said Gawain. They paused, and Amanda looked around, uncomfortable in the situation.

"I take it you don't like Edem very much," Amanda said. Gawain laughed.

"No, I don't," answered Gawain.

"Why not? He's a wonderful person," asked Amanda.

"I didn't say he wasn't. He's just not the kind of person you'd love," answered Gawain.

"What kind of person did you think I'd love?" asked Amanda, very curious about what Gawain thought.

"Someone who is powerful, but not a tyrant. Someone compassionate, and caring, yet firm. Someone who has been everything you've been through on a open, and private level. Someone that's a leader, and, when he wants to be, just as fiery, clever, and, forgive me, but a pain in the ass as you," answered Gawain. Amanda mulled over it.

_Someone like Arthur,_ Amanda thought.

"I see," she said, looking at Gawain. She squinted as they turned a corner and the sun was in her eyes. She couldn't see Gawain's face, but she was sure he was smiling because she knew who he was talking about.

"Well," said Amanda, "Edem is a very fine gentlemen."

"I thought you would've taken a barbaric kind of person. After all, you did spend two years with the most barbaric people in the world," Gawain joked. Amanda and he laughed, but Amanda's mind was a million miles away.

* * *

That afternoon, at lunch, Amanda couldn't help but look at Edem.

_Is he really the man I want?_ Amanda asked herself. _Ever since I've been back, Edem has become less perfect to me. It's Arthur. I'm just feeling what I felt two years ago for him. It should die. He didn't want me. He told me so. I was but a friend to him. Am I still? _Amanda felt Edems' hand slip into hers, and she smiled at him. He smiled back, and they both continued eating.

"Arthur," Amanda began, "where is Gurshion?" She realized she hadn't seen him at all for her stay.

"He no longer is on my advisory board. He wasn't leading me in the right direction," he answered.

"How long has he been gone?" Amanda asked.

"Arthur got rid of him right after you left," answered Galahad. Amanda looked at him and nodded, while saying and "oh" under her breath. She looked back at Arthur to see him staring angrily at Galahad, whom simply shrugged and continued eating.

"So, Edem, are you enjoying your stay here?" asked Evelina. Evelina and Amanda hadn't spoken since the night before.

"Yes, quite. It's a very beautiful city, thank you," Edem answered. Amanda looked at Evelina and saw her smiling beautifully at Edem. Amanda couldn't believe this. Was Lady Evelina really trying to steal Edem from her?

"Excuse me," Amanda said, and left. She headed down to the Healing Room to visit Nicolarious when she realized her didn't know where it was. She couldn't go back and ask, and there wasn't anyone around to tell her where it was. She huffed and headed out to the courtyard. It was a beautiful day, but Amanda was in a sour mood. Evelina was trying to take Edem away, Gawain thinks she should be with Arthur, and she kept having this confusing dream about her and Arthur kissing. Since she couldn't help the first two, Amanda decided to think about the third. She sat down on the grass, and laid back to watch the clouds. She closed her eyes after a few moments, and tried to remember the dream. _She could feel her heart beating, her throat sore from yelling. It was raining, and the drops beat down heavily upon her head. Her back was to the wall, over looking the fields. She looked up at him, and his green eyes smiled down at her. He stopped walking towards her, and his hands went around her hips. His body came closer as he leaned down to her. Her eyes began to slowly close as she felt his lips touch hers. Lightly, grazing as first, and pulling away. She opened her eyes, looking at him, wanting more. She put her hand around her neck, and he pulled her in once more, giving her the most passionate kiss she'd ever had. _What did it mean? Why would she be kissing Arthur? She tried to break it apart. In the dream, her throat was sore from yelling. She and Arthur must have been having an argument of some kind. But why were they on the wall? And why were they out there in the rain? It just didn't make sense. Amanda put her hands behind her head, and tried to think, but her mind was so tired from being hung over. She could feel sleep coming. Her eyelids became heavy and she limbs seemed to stop working.

"It must be the drink," Amanda said quietly to herself, and she drifted off to sleep.

_Water was pouring down her face, and she could see him. He wasn't smiling, but her wasn't frowning. He was just staring at her. He walked forward and her heart began to skip beats it was going so fast. When he reached her, he didn't really know what to do. Slowly, his hand wandered to her hip, and the other to her cheek. her hands staid numbly at her side, totally unsure of what was going on. Thunder clapped overhead, but their eyes didn't separate. He pulled her in, his lips meeting hers. It was a graze at first, so soft and gentle. He pulled away, looking to her as if for her approval. Amanda smiled at him, and they kissed once more. _


	7. Bearer of Bad News

Chapter 7: Bearer of Bad News

Disclaimer: Same deal

* * *

Amanda jolted up. That ridiculous dream! It was pitch black, and it took several seconds for her eyes to adjust to the light. She could feel the grass beneath her, and slowly began to make out a bush beside her. Standing, Amanda felt carefully with her feet.

"Have a nice rest?" she heard someone ask. She snapped her head in that direction but couldn't see anyone. She lifted her right arm, hoping she wouldn't bump into anything.

"Who is there?" Amanda asked rather loudly.

"It is Edem," he answered. She felt his hand meet hers and he pulled her closer. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and she could feel his breath on her. Her hands wandered to his cheek, and then to the back of his neck. His lips met hers, and they kissed. He kissed her fiercely, something he had never done before. Yet, she gladly went along with it, for a few moments anyhow. The few moments of bliss ended when the kiss reminded her of her reoccurring dream. She tried to forget about it, but the more she tired, the more she wondered if Arthur kissed this way. She pulled away slowly, and smiled up at Edem. He smiled back, and took her hand. He led her back to his room, and opened the door. She knew what he wanted. Though she had thought of it before, Amanda was still a virgin. She promised her father when she was younger to wait until she married. She and Edem had come close to making love, but never really did. Before this Edem had always respected that wish. But he was becoming impatient. He never said so, but Amanda could see it in his eyes and in his hands when he touched her. He would often hold her close, his hand gluing his body to him, so Amanda would know its bulk. And he wanted it now. His smile became sly, and his eyes playful, but Amanda remained firm.

"No Edem," she said softly.

"Amanda," he began, placing a hand on her cheek, "you have no reason to be scared of what I might do to you," he said. He wasn't getting it. Was he drunk or something?

"Edem, do you not understand? I'm not going to have sex with you," Amanda said, letting go of his hand and walking into her room. After a few moments, Amanda heard Edem slam his door shut. It was late, but Amanda had had her sleep already. She didn't need anymore, she needed to do something. She couldn't go to Nicolarious, not at this hour. She resolved to go for a walk. Maybe a ride eventually, but for now, a walk would do. She changed into a tunic and pants, and tied her curly mess of hair into a bun. She then slowly opened her door, praying Edem wouldn't hear her, and then shut it. She walked briskly down the hall, and down the stairs. When she reached the floor below her she paused, seeing one of the many entrances to the wall that overlooked the city. But this one was a special one. That entrance was the one Amanda ran out of two years ago, the day she left. After she had heard what Gurshion claimed her to be.

"A distraction," she whispered. The word tasted fowl in her mouth. She turned down the hall, and began to head to the wall. As she passed Arthur room, which had been moved most recently, her feet seemed to quicken. She hoped he wouldn't hear her, or worse, Evelina. She safely passed the door, and she was free towards the wall. When she reached the archway that led out on to it, Amanda took in a deep breath of mid-summer air. Without thinking twice, Amanda practically rushed out on to the wall, turning in to face the city. But when she turned, she almost fell over from shock. Arthur was standing there with Evelina in his arms. A few moments passed while the three of them stared at each other. Amanda's eyes darted back and forth between Arthur and Evelina, the latter be nothing but shocked and the former angered by Amanda's interruption.

"Well?" asked Evelina impatiently. Amanda snapped to her senses.

"Forgive me, Your Majesty. Milady," Amanda apologized, the last title a bit harsh and very reluctant. Amanda turned away and started for the entrance when she saw Gawain running down the hall, a wide smile on his face. Amanda stopped and waited for him, watching curiously.

"Oh, leave already!" said Evelina forcefully, but Amanda ignored her completely. The next moment Gawain came rushing through.

"He's up," said Gawain to Amanda. Amanda gasped. Nicolarious was awake!

"Who is awake Gawain?" asked Arthur, releasing Evelina, who began to protest silently. Amanda bolted out of the room. As long as she knew who was awake, it didn't matter. Racing down the stairs, down the corridors and halls, Amanda finally reached the Caretakers Chambers. Knocking hastily on the door, Amanda's heart began to race.

"Enter," the voice said at last, and Amanda practically broke down the door. She looked towards the bed, and saw her brother sitting upright, a wide smile plastered on his face.

"Amanda!" he cried.

"Nicolarious!" she responded, rushing to the bed. She flung her arms around him, and Nicolarious her. When they finally released each other, Amanda looked at him very seriously.

"You are never ever to goof around on that railing, or any railing again Nicolarious Marslyn. Do you understand?" Amanda asked.

"Yes," replied Nicolarious, obviously meaning he had decided that before.

"How do you feel?" Amanda asked, looking him up and down.

"Tired, groggy, achy," replied Nicolarious.

"Can you move?" asked Amanda. Nicolarious moved his arm up and down. Her insides loosened up a bit. But the question was, could he walk? Amanda thought it would be best if he knew now, so he could just begin to realize the damage right away.

"Nicolarious," Amanda paused, "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"What is it?" asked Nicolarious, immediately concerned.

"The Caretaker told me, the night you fell, that you may received severe wreckage to your back and legs. He told me if you lived, chances are that you will never walk again. I'm so sorry." The news hit Nicolarious like a ton of stones. He didn't do anything for several long moments after she broke the news. He sat there and stared at Amanda in disbelief. Then, he calmly nodded his head, and looked towards his doorway. Amanda turned too, and saw Gawain, Galahad, and Arthur standing there, looking rather sorry for Nicolarious.

"I'm glad to see you're awake," said Arthur. Nicolarious smiled, but Amanda could see the tears welling in his eyes.


	8. Ball Dresses

Chapter 8: Ball Dresses

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the King Arthur characters, but I own all those not originally part of the movie.

Note: Thanks for the reviews guys. Sorry I haven't updated, I had camp and then my birthday...took up most of my time. Happy reading, and **_please, please let me know what you think._**

**_

* * *

_**

Amanda went through a light sleep that night, constantly tossing and turning, Nicolarious's face vivid in her unusual dreams. When dawn finally broke, Amanda turned for the final time in her bed, and then rose. Her soft feet touched the hard stone floor and she pondered walking for a moment. The meaning of walking seemed to be greater than anybody realized. It was yet another thing people took for granted. Rising to her feet, Amanda went to her closet, and decided it was a day for dresses. Walking around the palace in pants and a tunic hardly seemed appropriate. Amanda's slender fingers ran past all her clothes, many which had been made for her, due to the lack of the things she brought with her. Towards the middle was a burgundy gown, one Amanda couldn't remember being fitted for. Pulling it out, Amanda realized she had never seen this dress before, ever. There was a small roll of parchment attached to the hanger, and Amanda pulled it off immediately. Setting the dress and herself on her bed, she hastily unraveled the note.

_To the lady of my heart, I present you with this dress. _

_Please do me the honors in wearing it to the ball. _

The note was unsigned, and Amanda's heart began to race. Then it occurred to her, it had to be from Edem. Rolling her eyes, and shaking her head, Amanda rose from her bed, and headed to Edem's room, the dress folded over her ram and the note in hand. She knocked quietly on the door, and to her surprise, Edem told her to enter. Slowly opening the door, Amanda peered around the wood to see Edem looking at himself in the mirror and rubbing his eyes. Obviously in the midst of a handover, Amanda thought it wise to go slow with him this morning.

"Good morning," he said drearily.

"Hello," Amanda smiled. She entered the room fully, and showed him the dress.

"That's nice, where'd you get it?" he asked, not showing his happiness that Amanda had found it.

"Funny Edem, really funny. I know you gave it to me," Amanda answered.

Edem shook his head.

"No I didn't," he answered, looking curiously at Amanda.

"Don't play with me Edem," Amanda said.

"Amanda honestly, I didn't have that made for you. I wish I had; good idea; but I didn't do it," he answered.

"If you didn't, who would?" Amanda asked, becoming slightly irritated that he kept denying it.

"I dunno, someone who wants you to have it," Edem said. Amanda's brow furrowed, and she saw that he wasn't lying. She left to go hang the dress back up when she saw her maid leaving her room.

"Ah, I see you found the dress. Do you like it?" she asked.

"Yes, very much so. Anys, do you know who gave this to me?" Amanda asked, hoping to solve this mystery quickly.

"No ma'am. The page boy just dropped it off for you, and I hung it up," answered Anys. Amanda sighed, and entered back into her room. Part of wished Anys hadn't touched the dress so she would have found out about this sooner; the thought of a maid still was rather unwelcome to Amanda. And another part of her was thankful to have Anys, her room was always spotless when she returned. Hanging the dress back up, Amanda turned to the pitcher of water on her nightstand. Washing her face, Amanda could hear Anys enter the room again.

"How would you like to have your hair done for the ball ma'am?" she asked. Amanda turned to look at her. Amanda had never realized that the two of them were the same age. Amanda never would have guessed it. Anys' skin had worn from the labor of a maid, and her hair frayed from the tight bun she kept it in. Only her eyes matched her age. A dark brown color, with many flecks of gold, and yellow to make them lively. Amanda smiled, and ran her fingers through the unruly mess Anys was calling hair.

"Well, when is it?" Amanda asked. With everything that had happened to Nicolarious these past few days, life itself seemed to have slipped from Amanda's mind.

"Tonight ma'am," she answered. Amanda felt herself go numb. Then, as if someone had cracked a whip over a idle slaves back, the thoughts came rushing in.

_I've never been to a ball before, what am I supposed to do? I don't know how to dance. Am I supposed to go with someone? What am I to wear? And my hair, it looks like a drowned rat! Oh my God..._

"How am I going to do this?" Amanda thought out loud.

"Miss Marslyn, you have a visitor in the great hall. A Lady Donellia," said a man at the door. Amanda nodded, and felt like God had answered her question. Lady Donellia could help her if anyone could. Throwing on a pale green dress, Amanda pulled back her hair, and walked swiftly down to the great hall. When she reached it, Amanda practically flung open the doors, and was greeted by the musical laugh of Lady Donellia.

"Oh Lady Donellia, what brings you here on this fine morning?" Amanda asked, praying she'd answer with help.

"Our little meeting has been postponed long enough. And I thought, well, with an occasion like tonight's, why not get started on such a big affair. I'm here to teach you what on Earth it is you have to do," answered Lady Donellia. Amanda hugged her instantly.

"Thank you thank you so much Lady Donellia. I owe you so much. Anything you ask of me I shall do," said Amanda, praise ringing in her voice. Lady Donellia smiled.

"Come my dear, we've only one day to teach you what these courtiers have been learning most of their lives. But I am determined to make you the best. You're the talk of the city, and I'm bound to make you everything that is said. Take me to your room," said Lady Donellia. Amanda and she went directly to her room, and Anys was still there making Amanda's bed.

"Anys will get you anything you need. She's the best maid I've ever seen," Amanda said. Lady Donellia pulled out a chair and gestured for Amanda to take a seat.

"Show me what you're wearing," she said. Amanda jumped up and fetched the burgundy gown. To her delight, Lady Donellia gasped, and smiled widely.

"It's beautiful. Where ever did you get the material?" she asked.

"I don't know. Someone gave it to me," answered Amanda, blushing slightly. Lady Donellia looked at her, a knowing smile across her face.

"Who gave it to you?" she asked.

"I don't know. It came with this," Amanda said, handing her the note. Lady Donellia read it carefully, and then smiled.

"Not your Edem was it?" she asked. Amanda shook her head.

"Hmmm. Well, no sense in not wearing it. It's beautiful. Prettiest dress I've ever seen," she said. Suddenly, and idea struck Amanda.

"Anys, can things be sent by the same route back to the people who sent you something? In case something like this should happen?" she asked. Anys thought for a moment, but then nodded.

"If I can find the same page boy, it's a good possibility. It's worth a try ma'am," she answered. Amanda smiled. Rushing over to her desk, Amanda grabbed a quill and parchment, and began to write a reply.

_What do you mean by this? _

Amanda rolled up the parchment and handed it to Anys, who smiled. Anys left to fine the page boy, and Amanda turned back to Lady Donellia.

"Very clever," she said, "Now, you must bathe before we do anything else." Lady Donellia walked over to the tub and to her surprise; it was already filled with hot water.

"You're right about your maid. Best ever. She glanced at the oils and soaps on the edge and picked up two.

"Jasmine or Strawberry?" she asked.

"Dose it make a difference?" Amanda asked.

"Oh yes!" cried Lady Donellia, "Jasmine is the sent of beauty, awe, and wonder, while strawberry is the sent of innocence and cheerfulness. I'd say you're more of a jasmine. What do you think?"

Amanda thought. Jasmine seemed to royal for her, but strawberry gave her the sense of girlishness and childish.

"Jasmine," answered Amanda. Lady Donellia smiled, and gestured to the bath. Amanda's eyes widened at the thought of undressing in front of Lady Donellia. Lady Donellia smiled and took a step towards Amanda.

"I won't see anything I haven't seen before," she said, trying to calm Amanda down. It was the truth; Amanda and Lady Donellia were both the same. It's not as if Amanda would be undressing in front of Galahad or someone like that. Amanda slipped the dress off over her head, and her hands instantly crossed over her chest to hide herself. Lady Donellia laughed, and took Amanda's hand.

"My dear, I promise I won't stare at your bosom or anything else. Just get into the bath," she said. Amanda stepped in and relaxed in the hot water and the smell of the jasmine. At first it was a sharp sent, but when inhaled smoothly, the sent filled you up and made you think of exotic places. Like the far off sands of Egypt, and the waters of Greece. Things people only hear and dream about filled your body with this smell. Lady Donellia handed Amanda the bottle of Jasmine and Amanda poured some on to her head. Rubbing hard, she lathered it into her scalp. Taking the excess and rubbing it into her skin.

"What do people say about me, Lady Donellia?" Amanda asked.

"Please call me Caia. And as for what people say about you, there is a whole book. Some say that you're as beautiful as a goddess. Others say, that you are as clever and witty as the King himself. Some say that you are so kind and gentle, you nursed a baby fowl back to health," at this Amanda laughed, "Really! It's a bit ridiculous honestly, but you most certainly are popular. They say Lady Evelina hates you because she's jealous. It's usually a response to when others say something else."

"And what's that?" Amanda asked, quite enjoying these things.

"That the Kings passion for you has been rekindled. The passion that ate him away inside before you left," answered Caia. Amanda's heart stopped.

"Why on Earth would they say that? I promise you, Arthur never has, and never will, love me," Amanda said. To her surprise, Caia sighed.

"I have no idea why anyone would say that," she answered. Amanda rubbed her forehead, and closed her eyes. This is the last thing she needed people to be thinking of her. It made her quite angry. They hadn't been there during that time; they hadn't seen what went on. They had no idea what happened behind the thick stone walls about the palace. All they did was guess, assume, and talk, talk about something they knew nothing about. The jasmine sent was making her mind do cartwheels. Amanda rose, and took the towel Caia handed to her. Then, Anys entered the room, with a smile upon her face.

"The note is on its way to the mysterious," she proudly announced.

"The mysterious?" asked Caia.

"I dubbed him that," answered Anys, "seeing as we don't know who he is."

"If he is a he," commented Amanda. The look on both Caias' and Anys' faces made Amanda feel like a half wit.

"My dear," said Caia, "women don't send each other dresses and call each other the lady of their hearts." Amanda nodded in agreement; Caia had a very logical explanation.

"Her hair Anys, what shall we do?" Caia asked, as Amanda took a seat in the chair.

"It's so beautiful when it's combed and down. It sits nicely upon her shoulders," answered Anys. Amanda felt herself go red; she thought Anys must be delirious. Caia took another towel and began to ring out Amanda's hair. As it dried, Amanda, Anys and Caia ate their lunch.

"Remember Amanda, short answers," said Caia. Amanda nodded, adding it to the already long list of things to remember tonight.

"Always smile," added Anys.

"If you are asked to dance a dance you do not know, though I'm sure you'd manage, decline and reply with 'maybe the next one'," Caia said. Amanda sipped her water, and tried to retain all this information.

"Can you sing?" asked Caia. Amanda almost chocked on her water.

"Wha...I mean, excuse me?" Amanda asked politely.

"Can you sing? I should say, can you sing well?" asked Caia. Amanda hesitated.

"Someone told me she could milady," answered Anys, grinning slyly.

"Let's hear it then," said Caia. Amandas' mouth fell open.

"I can't, I'm terrible," Amanda said. The flashback of the stables two years ago ran in. She had been singing, and the Knights walked in on her. Arthurs' was ringing in her head. 'You sing very well'. Then she remembered what else he had said. That if he should ever find love again, it wouldn't be in Amanda. And that led her to think about what Caia had told her before. About what the people said. That he loved her. Her face must have been showing her emotion, or that she wasn't listening because Anys got up to check her hair, and Caia tapped her arm.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"What you said earlier. It just," Amanda paused, "angers me."

"People will talk. But, keep this in mind: it isn't always a bad thing to have an outsiders opinion. Now, if you'll allow me, I must go home and ready myself for this grand affair. I'll see you tonight Amanda. And Anys, you really are the best maid ever," with a smile she left, but her words lingered. Anys beamed from the compliment, and Amanda processed what she had said.

* * *

Amanda had a few hours to go before her hair fully dried, and to put on her gown, so she decided to see Nicolarious. Knocking on his door, she heard him call for her to enter. She entered happily, and looked at Nicolarious. He was sitting up in his bed, a smile on his face, but sadness in his eyes. Looking into the corner, Amanda saw a makeshift wheelchair.

"Arthur said he'd have one made with gold inlaid into it. This'll have to do for now," commented Nicolarious. Her brother had always been strong, why was he giving in so quickly to his weakness.

"Are you not even going to try to walk?" Amanda asked. He looked at her as if the thought never occurred to him.

"Maybe when I don't feel so weak," he answered. Amanda went and sat on the bed.

"You're not weak Nicolarious. You never were, and you never shall be. If you want to walk, at least try. Not today, but when you feel better. Promise me you'll try," Amanda said.

"I promise," answered Nicolarious. A knock came on the door that called the two away from each other.

"Enter," cried Nicolarious. In came Lady Evelina, with a hand full of freshly picked flowers. Amanda's eyes narrowed.

_How dare she try and come in here and take my brother away from me, _thought Amanda.

"Oh. Sorry," she said sweetly, "I just came to put some flowers in your room to brighten it up." Nicolarious thanked her, and she proceeded to do what she came to do.

"I'm sorry to hear about your condition, my dear Nicolarious," she said, putting a hand lightly upon her head.

"I wouldn't call it a condition, Lady Evelina," replied Amanda, placing a hand on Nicolarious' hand, "I'd simply call it what it is. He might not be able to walk. It's a possibility." Amanda saw a flicker of hate in Evelina's eyes, but it was gone when Nicolarious looked up at her.

"My sister is right Evelina, it's only a chance. Not permanent," said Nicolarious. Evelina shrugged.

"Just offering comfort. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for the ball," she said, and she left. Amanda looked back at Nicolarious when the door closed shut and smiled.

"You don't like her do you?" he asked.

"No. We fought, and said unkind things. I dislike her strongly," answered Amanda.

"And it doesn't help that she's with Arthur either," added Nicolarious.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Amanda asked.

"Well, let's not pretend that you didn't have feeling for Arthur at one point," answered Nicolarious. Amanda gasped.

"I'm shocked that you would think such a thing! My own brother!" Amanda exclaimed. Gawain walked in at this point and it became very clear to Amanda.

"Has he been putting these thoughts into your head Nicolarious?" she asked.

"No, I came up with it on my own," answered Nicolarious, grinning widely.

"What have I been doing this time?" asked Gawain.

"I have to go get ready," said Amanda, and she left in a huff.

"Was that about Arthur?" asked Gawain.

"Yup," answered Nicolarious.

"Still denying it?" asked Gawain.

"Yup."

* * *

Amanda went back to her room where Anys did her hair and she put on her gown. Looking at herself in the mirror, she did feel rather pretty.

"Beautiful miss," said Anys. Amanda smiled her thanks, and continued to look at herself. Her hair was down, save a few pieces braided and tied back. Her gown fit perfectly, and she secretly hoped that Mysterious would be there to see her on this night.


	9. The Ball

Chapter 9: The Ball

Disclaimer: Same

Note: Enjoy!

* * *

Amanda heard Anys leave, and she looked away from her mirror. She wasn't ready. What if she forgot everything that Caia and Anys had told her? But her mind was interrupted from digging deeper into her worries. Someone knocked on her door, and Amanda went to answer it. Opening the door, Amanda saw Gawain there, a smile on his face.

"Yes Gawain?" she asked.

"I've come to escort you to the ball," he said.

"But what about Edem?" Amanda asked.

"You'll see," he said and extended his arm. Amanda took it with no further protest, and allowed Gawain to lead her away.

"You look beautiful Amanda," Gawain said. Amanda looked up at him and smiled. He looked good himself. His hair was pulled back, and he had on a nice tunic. His face was lit up, he was ready for this ball.

"You cleaned up well too," Amanda teased. Gawain shook his head, and chuckled.

"Always on your guard," he commented.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Amanda asked.

"You're just so sharp. You never just let someone compliment you. You always retaliate with sarcasm," answered Gawain.

"But I meant it. You look very good," Amanda persisted, trying to brush off what he said. Gawain fell silent and looked forward. Amanda sighed.

"I'm sorry Gawain. I'm just not used to being told such things," Amanda said. Gawain smiled.

"Well you can't be acting like that tonight. You accept and reply with something nice, and intended. No matter who says it," Gawain explained, "Even if it's Lady Evelina." Amanda looked at him, shocked.

"What did Nicolarious tell you?" she asked. Gawain smiled slyly.

"Nothing," he answered. Amanda elbowed him in the side, and he laughed. They turned the corner, and Amanda could see Arthur, Edem, and Evelina standing at the top of the stairs leading into the great hall.

"What are they doing there?" Amanda asked Gawain.

"Waiting for you," he answered.

"Oh. But what about you?" she asked.

"I'll go down before you do, and watch you like everyone else," he answered. Amanda didn't understand at first, but then it hit her.

"I'm going to walk down those stairs?" she asked.

"Yes. You, Arthur, Evelina, and," he paused to clear his throat, "Edem." Amanda would have laughed, but she was to afraid. She couldn't walk down those stairs in front of all those people. What would they think of her? As they neared the three, Gawain let go of her arm, and put his hand on her back.

"Here she is You're Majesty," he said. Arthur was staring at Amanda, in some shocked way. Edem took her hand and whispered in her ear.

"You are as beautiful as a goddess," he said. Amanda blushed crimson, and she took her place beside Edem.

"Oh no Amanda, you're to walk with Arthur," said Evelina. Amanda's eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" she asked, politely as she could manage.

"I'm to escort our guest of honor, and Edem will escort Evelina. Now, if you please," he extended his arm, "we need to go." Amanda hesitated. This was so new to her. Why on Earth did she have to walk with Arthur? Of all people! Amanda took a deep breath and calmed herself. She took Arthur's arm, and her place beside him. The trumpets sounded, and the buzz of the chatting people faded away. Amanda knew their anticipation. Thousands of thoughts ran through her head of the thing that was about to happen. Arthur took the first step, and Amanda unwillingly followed.

"You'll be fine," Arthur said, "just think of that time you were with the Saxons. You are a warrior Amanda. A fighter and nothing can stop you. Not stairs, not the crowd of whispering, judging people, nothing can stop you. You are great, and take pride in your greatness. Just remember that." He stopped talking and Amanda looked at him.

"And what makes you think that?" asked Amanda.

"I don't think so, I know so," he answered.

"Oh really? And what makes you know I'm a fighter?" she asked.

"Nothing, but it took your mind off the descent on the stairs," he answered. Amanda looked around. They were heading out into the middle of the floor, the stairs far behind them. Amanda looked back at Arthur and he smiled. He stopped walking, and faced Amanda.

"Yes?" she asked.

"We have to dance the first dance," he answered. Amanda looked at him bewildered. Had Caia forgotten to tell her? Or was she just hiding it from Amanda so she wouldn't worry? Amanda took another deep breath and looked at Arthur. He placed his hand on her waist and a tingling sensation went through Amanda's body. Arthur's other hand met Amanda's and the sensation continued. Amanda placed her hand on his shoulder and heard the musicians prepare themselves.

"Arthur, I don't know how to dance," said Amanda, a bit panicked.

"Don't worry. Just follow me," he said, his voice soothing. Amanda nodded and looked over Arthur's shoulder to find Edem. They weren't on the floor.

"They don't dance this dance. Only the King and the guest of honor, should she be a lady," said Arthur, obviously knowing what Amanda had been searching for. Before Amanda could reply the music started and Arthur took the first step to his right, taking Amanda with him. To her surprise, Amanda found following Arthur was easier than she had expected. When she felt she had the hang of it, Amanda looked up at Arthur, and she smiled.

"You look very nice tonight Amanda," he said. Amanda wished she hadn't; but she knew she blushed.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"It's not like you to be quiet. Anything wrong?" he asked. Amanda looked up at him.

"I'm trying to live up to my reputation," she said sarcastically.

"Ah, the beautiful, kind, smart goddess who is stealing my heart day by day?" Arthur asked. Amanda looked at him surprised, "Yes, I've heard the rumors and the talk. You are in fact quite the talk of the city."

"So I've heard," Amanda replied. Amanda looked away, a smile on her face, as the music slowed to its ending. When it stopped, Arthur bowed, and Amanda gave him a very low curtsy. The floor then crowded with people to dance the next song. Amanda slipped away, only to be greeted by groups of people wanting to know all about her.

"Hello Lady Amanda, welcome back to Camelot," said one gentleman. Amanda smile.

"Can't you see Darius? She doesn't want to speak to you," said one of his friends. Amanda looked at him. He was tall, and his dark black curls hung just past his ears. One could see his strength by just a glance. His arms were large, but they looked in perfect proportion to the rest of his body. His eyes, however, were the best part. They seemed as deep and as blue as the ocean that separated Briton from Gaul. No matter what he looked like, Amanda felt her anger rise.

"Pray tell, sir, what makes you believe I don't want to speak to this fine gentleman?" asked Amanda, trying to sound polite.

"Your eyes," he answered. Amanda's left brow raised and her eyes widened in a questioning manner. Deciding to ignore the man, she turned back to the other.

"Thank you, I'm very happy to be back," she said with a smile.

"Darius Hestion," he said, taking Amanda's hand and kissing it. Amanda smiled, and curtsied.

"Amanda Marslyn," she replied. Darius smiled back, and straightened his back.

"Lord Ambrose Thaddeus of Laurelshire," said the man with the ocean eyes, stepping forward. Amanda tried to keep her composure, and she curtsied low.

"Amanda Marslyn," she said. She related the location of Laurelshire. It was close to where she and Edem lived, a very new town, but a town none the less. What befuddled her was how Lord Ambrose had acquired Laurelshire from Arthur. Lord Ambrose took Amanda's hand and kissed it, not taking his eyes off Amanda's.

"A pleasure to meet you Lady Marslyn," he said, "Now, tell me, is it true what they say about you?"

"It might just be Lord Thaddeus, but that's for my knowledge, not yours," replied Amanda answered.

"Seems you've met your match Ambrose," cried one of his lady friends.

"Maybe he has," said the musical, yet cool, voice of Lady Caia Donellia. Amanda peered around Lord Thaddues' side to see her standing there, in a hunter green dress, and looking beautiful.

"Lady Donellia!" Amanda cried, and Caia stepped forward.

"You look marvelous, my dear," said Caia.

"Me?" asked Amanda, "Let me show you where the mirror is! You look spectacular!" Lady Donellia grinned happily, and then turned to Lord Thaddeus.

"I see you've met the biggest jester in the city Amanda. Lord Ambrose, how do you do?" she asked, her voice returning to that cool tone they heard moments ago.

"Fine, milady, and you?" asked Ambrose in a very deep voice, soothing as a doves call. The voice reminded Amanda of Arthur's. Arthur's voice when he spoke to Evelina, and when he was comforting Amanda. The mindless chatter of Caia and Ambrose seemed to drown out of Amanda's head as she looked around for Arthur. He was dancing with Evelina. She looked beautiful. She had on a white dress that flattered her slender frame so well. Her auburn curls flowed freely as Arthur spun her about, her face lit up like a thousand torches. Suddenly, Amanda was called from her daze when Edem came up behind her. Spinning around, Amanda smiled as Edems' hands found her waist.

"Oh, Edem, this is Lady Caia Donellia, and this is Lord Ambrose Thaddeus of Laurelshire," Amanda introduced. Edem bowed to Caia and shook Ambrose's hand.

"Laurelshire isn't far from where I call home," said Edem.

"Ah," said Ambrose, "Boxborough?" Edem nodded. Amanda smiled and excused herself to get a drink. Caia followed her, and Amanda began asking who everyone was.

"Lord Ambrose? Who is he?" Amanda asked.

"You don't know? He's the King's cousin," answered Caia. Amanda chocked on her drink.

"I didn't know he had a cousin. They do look somewhat alike. If you look long enough," Amanda replied.

"Yes, the hair is what usually gives it away," said a deep voice from behind Amanda. Spinning around, Amanda saw Arthur taking a drink.

"I see you've met Ambrose," he said. Amanda nodded, wondering what to say. Arthur laughed.

"He's a good man, but he usually is consumed in Laurelshire. My doings have no affect upon him," said Arthur. Amanda nodded, and looked back at Caia who was smiling broadly at Arthur.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go dance with Edem," Amanda said. She curtsied to Arthur, and nodded to Caia. When she left, Arthur took her place.

"How is she doing?" asked Arthur.

"Extremely well. She learns very fast, and is mindful of everything. She still has much to learn though," answered Caia, who looked at Arthur. Arthur, however, wasn't looking back at Caia. He was, in fact, watching Amanda and Edem dancing. His eyes followed her around the room, and Caia smiled.

"I'm beginning to think this talk is true. Stop staring, or the people will talk even more," said Caia, as she took her drink and left. Arthur smiled, but didn't take his eyes off Amanda.

* * *

The ball was winding down and Amanda was sitting with Caia, Ambrose, Nicolarious, Gawain, Galahad, and a three other women Amanda came to know as the Isaac sisters. There was Lark, who was a plump girl, with pink cheeks and cheery disposition. Her brown hair was tied up, and her gown a light shade of pink. Amanda liked Lark very much, and was glad to know her. Her sister on the other hand, Raven, was as rude as they came. She was a very thin girl, and not pretty at all. Her arrogance and ignorance seeped from inside her soul to her skin. She had blonde, blonde hair and cold grey eyes. Why she was named Raven was rather odd for a girl of her looks. Maybe her parents knew she was going to be a cold hearted person. The final and youngest sister, Robin, was a beautiful girl who was very much like Lark. Her hair was brown and curly, and went to her mid back. Her light blue dress suited her very well. Of all three Robin was the smartest, funniest, and whole hearted one. One would be able to tell quickly by the conversation.

Nicolarious was re-telling his story about the fall, when Ambrose bent down to Amanda's ear and asked her to dance. Amanda looked over and saw that it was a waltz, and she looked at Ambrose. She nodded, and he excused them, leading her to the floor.

"I must tell you a secret," said Amanda while they took their position.

"That you can't dance?" asked Ambrose. Amanda was shocked. Ambrose smiled.

"Not to worry, your secret is safe with me. Just let me lead you," he said. The music started, and Ambrose took the first step. They didn't make it a quarter of the way around the floor when the great hall doors burst open and a man came screaming through the floor, running right into Amanda. Amanda fell over, and felt her ankle twist. She let out a gasp of pain as her head smacked the floor.

"The Celts! There are Celts out side the city!" the man screamed. Arthur came to the middle of the floor and confronted the man. Ambrose came to Amanda's side.

"Lady Amanda, are you alright?" he asked.

"Fine, Lord Ambrose," she answered. He helped her up and Amanda felt a sharp pain in her ankle as she took the first step. The people had finally realized what the man had said and chaos began, people started to run for the doors when Arthur's voice rang through the hall.

"STOP NOW!" he bellowed, and the hall feel silent, "You will leave here with out chaos and go directly home. My knights, come here." When he finished the hiss of the whispering crowd leaving the palace erupted and Amanda went forward to Arthur.

"Yes Amanda?" he asked, his completion stern but calm.

"I can help," she said. Arthur turned his whole body to her.

"No," he said.

"Why not?" Amanda asked, trying to keep her voice down. Arthur's eyes looked directly at hers.

"Because Amanda, you can't," he said firmly.

"Why?" she asked, her patients slipping away.

"Because," he said, walking away. Amanda was the only one to follow.

"Because is not an answer Arthur," she said, not caring if someone heard her voice.

"It is in this case," he said. He walked out onto the wall, and looked out over the edge. There stood about a hundred Celts. Nothing Arthur's army couldn't handle. Nothing Amanda wouldn't live through.

"No it isn't!" Amanda cried.

"Because I don't want you to!" he said forcefully, but Amanda wasn't backing down.

"So what if you don't what me to? I want to know why you don't want me to!" she cried.

"Because you could get hurt!" he yelled back, "You could die!" He paused for a long time, Amanda fell silent, and he stared at her firmly. Finally, he said, "Amanda, we can't afford to lose you."

"Whose we?" she asked angrily.

"All of us," he said in the same tone she did, "Nicolarious, Gawain, Galahad, Edem, all of us."

"They did just fine without me for two years, they'll do just fine if I die," Amanda replied smartly.

"That's just it though!" Arthur exclaimed, "They were a mess! They entered a world where the sun didn't shine and the birds didn't sing. It was like they were when they served for Rome. Nicolarious was as gloomy as the graveyard your parents are buried in. Edem, I'm sure he'll go mad without you! Now, go back to your room. This conversation is finished." Amanda felt the urge to smack him and go into battle anyway, but she took a deep breath and went back to the great hall. Ambrose was waiting for her, and he extended his arm.

"I'm under strict orders to escort you back to your room," he said. Amanda was not in the mood for this.

"Then what?" she asked.

"Well then I'll go into battle of course. Did you see them?" he answered. Amanda nodded. Why did men always get to do what they wanted?

"How many were there?" he asked.

"Only about a hundred. It'll be an easy win," Amanda answered. The two didn't converse the rest of the way to her room. Amanda let go of Ambrose's arm and reached for the door handle. Ambrose cleared his throat.

"Yes Lord Ambrose?" Amanda asked, turning.

"It's customary that before I go into battle I receive some type of good luck charm from a lady. Since you are the only one in sight, I say you must give me one," he said. Amanda wasn't foolish. He knew he wanted a kiss. She smiled and decided to play a little joke. She took off the ring on her finger, and the put it on the chain around her neck. She gave it to Ambrose, who smiled, on to her game.

"It's always brought me luck," Amanda said. Ambrose took it and put it on.

"Thank you milady," he said, bowing.

"Good luck, Lord Thaddeus," Amanda replied, curtsying. He walked away and Amanda entered her room. She walked over to her vanity and sat down in front of the mirror. She started to undo the braids in her hair when she saw it. In the corner of the vanity was a single white flower. At first, Amanda thought it was a rose, but when she looked closer, she discovered it wasn't. It was smaller than a rose. Amanda took it out of the vase and smelt it. It smelt wonderful, better than jasmine. Amanda spun around when she heard Anys enter the room.

"That arrived about an hour after you left for the ball. It's from Mysterious," she said, seeing the flower.

"What kind of flower is it Anys?" Amanda asked.

"It's a Gardenia. That's all I know about it," she answered. Amanda knew that all flowers had a meaning. However, the only meaning of a flower she knew was of the red rose, which meant love, or that the person whom gave it to you, loved you. But a Gardenia befuddled Amanda. She hadn't even heard of a Gardenia before. Who ever this Mysterious was, he was probably well schooled in the subject of courting.


	10. Lord Ambrose Thaddeus of Laurelshire

Chapter 10: Lord Ambrose Thaddeus of Laurelshire

Disclaimer: You get the deal.

Note: In no way is this story historically accurate. I'm just messing history up to make my story better :). Tracy137 is the coolest! FFAMasquerade2005: Welcome to my story! I hope you won't disappear, but I much appreciate your review. You're absolutely right about Amanda's ankle. But, in good time, I promise you it serves a purpose. Also, it's part of her character to try and forget about pain.

Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning Amanda awoke in a bad mood, her ankle throbbing. Still brooding over what Arthur had said to her, her thoughts wandered to the battlefield. Racing out to the wall, Amanda was afraid to look over the edge. She looked and saw the many bodies of the Celts. Their flag lying on the blood soaked ground. Her eyes searched wildly for any of the Britons. She saw none, and she went back to her room and dressed. Then rushing down to the Round Table Room, her heart beat as she thought of the worst. She reached the door and calmed herself. Then, opening the heavy wood door, Amanda stepped in and instantly looked around the room. Everyone was there; Gawain, Galahad, Arthur, Edem, and Ambrose. She smiled brightly, took a new seat, seeing as Lord Ambrose was seated in hers. She seated herself in between Galahad and Nicolarious, both whom smiled their good mornings. Jols placed a plate in front of her, and Amanda took her first bite. Everyone was very quiet, and Amanda saw Gawain shift uncomfortably. Whatever the problem was, Amanda wasn't going to try and strike up the conversation. Ambrose was smirking, and Evelina was glaring at him. Amanda rolled her eyes and returned to her food. Then, Evelina abruptly left the table in a huff and stormed out of the room. When the door slammed shut, Ambrose burst out into laughter.

"Really cousin," he said to Arthur, "you must be mad!" Arthur glared at him, and Ambrose excused himself with a smile. Finishing her breakfast, Amanda left the tension filled room and left to the library. She entered the room hoping to find a book on flower meanings. She knew Arthur wouldn't have got a book like that, but maybe Evelina talked him into getting it for her. Standing at one of the shelves was Caia.

"Caia!" Amanda exclaimed. Caia turned and smiled.

"Good morning Amanda," she said, "did you have a good time last night?"

"I did," Amanda answered, "until the Celts came." It was the truth. Amanda had enjoyed the ball very much, but the battle was more important to her.

"Is everyone still intact?" Caia asked. Amanda laughed at her choice of words.

"Yes, everyone is well," Amanda answered. Caia smiled and put a book that she was looking at away. Amanda then remembered the flower.

"Caia," she said, "I got a reply from Mysterious."

"What did he say?" Caia asked, immediately interested.

"He sent me a flower. Anys called it a Gardenia. It's beautiful. What do you think it means?" Amanda asked. Caia smiled, and she appeared to be thinking very hard.

"I don't know. All flowers have meanings. But I can't remember them all. I wonder if there's a book on it," she said turning to the shelves. Amanda followed suit and pulled out any book she thought would be helpful.

After looking through about thirty books a piece, Amanda and Caia slumped down into chairs and took a short break.

"Nothing," said Amanda.

"I wish I could remember," said Caia. The door behind them opened and closed, but neither of them seemed to care.

"Someone's been doing a lot of work in here," said a deep voice.

"Yes Ambrose, more than you've ever done," replied Caia, in that cool tone she used at the ball. Ambrose laughed.

"Anything I can help you with?" he asked, appearing at the side of Caias' chair.

"I doubt it," said Amanda.

"Actually, he'd be just the man for this," countered Caia, "do you know what the Gardenia means?" Ambrose didn't even have to think.

"It means 'secret love'," he answered. Amanda raised her eyebrows in surprise. Ambrose looked at Amanda and smiled.

"Which one of you received one?" he asked. Amanda blushed.

"Ah," he said, apparently seeing Amanda's cheeks fill with pink, "a secret admirer? Well, that makes sense." Amanda smiled and rolled her eyes.

"You don't think so?" he asked.

"No sir, defiantly not," answered Amanda.

"I'd think again on that my dear. Since your arrival many men have been admiring your beauty. Many are falling in love with this 'goddess'," he said the last word with an air that would make any woman swoon. Caia laughed, and stood up.

"You just want her for yourself Ambrose," she said.

"Speaking of which, I'm unhappy to report that the ring you gave me was trampled upon by several horses. I'm terribly sorry," he said to Amanda. Amanda sighed.

"I couldn't trust you any ways. Luckily I didn't give you the real one," Amanda said with a smile. Ambrose put his hand to his heart.

"That hurt me Lady Marslyn. I think you'll find you'll be able to trust me very well as time wares on," he said with a pout. Amanda laughed.

"Maybe, but for now, I stand by my word," she said.

"I must be off," Caia said.

"Oh," said Amanda, "Goodbye then Caia."

"Goodbye, my lady," said Ambrose, in the deep voice he talked to her with. Caia departed and Ambrose and Amanda were left alone in the library. He occupied Caia's now vacant seat. Amanda looked at him, noticing how much he really did look like Arthur. Why hadn't she seen this man before? Why had Arthur never mentioned he had a cousin?

"You're probably wondering why you've never met me. Or seen me. Or even heard of me," he said. Amanda raised her eyebrows. Ambrose looked at her.

"I get it all the time. Arthur and I have a habit of not mentioning each other. Why? Mainly because we don't see the significance of it. We wouldn't just say that we were related unless asked who our family was," answered Ambrose. Amanda looked away and silently agreed that they were in fact cousins.

"You are very much like him," Amanda commented. Ambrose didn't smile, or frown, but looked at the wall, and seemed to be deep in thought.

"As to why you've never seen me, that's your fault. I have seen you many times before, and have grown to like you more and more. You are character, Lady Marslyn," he said.

"Please, feel no discontent to call me Amanda," Amanda said, "and please forgive me for never seeing you. Had I before yesterday, I feel we could be great friends." Ambrose nodded the same blank expression on his face. The two fell silent for a while, just staring at the walls.

"How long have you known Caia?" he asked, and Amanda shrugged.

"Since my second day here," she answered. Ambrose nodded, and folded his hands together.

"You seem to have known her a long time," said Amanda. To this, Ambrose smiled.

"Aye," he said, "She, Arthur, and I have known each other a long time. Since our childhood. She came to live in Briton when she was but a young girl, but I leave her to tell you when she ready." Amanda thought that was best as well. Ambrose had entered the state of blankness again, and Amanda thought it would be best if she left him be.

"I'll see you later today I hope," Amanda said, rising.

"Indeed you shall," said Ambrose, his ocean eyes meeting Amanda's, and for an instant, Amanda felt captivated. Amanda smiled, and turned away to leave.

"One more thing," said Ambrose, rising from the chair to meet Amanda. He took her hands in his, and looked deep into her eyes, "When is your birthday?"

"The first of August," Amanda answered. Ambrose smiled.

"In two days then?" he asked.

"Yes," Amanda answered, "I suppose so." Ambrose released Amanda's hands and smiled. Amanda left the library, thinking of where she should go next. Amanda decided to go out to the courtyard to admire the flowers. When she got there, Amanda saw no one out there. Thankful for the quiet, Amanda proceeded to take a turn about the courtyard. Then, she saw them. Along the left side of the courtyard was a bush. A bush with white flowers on it. Amanda went to that bush instantly to see if they were what she thought they were. The bush was in fact a Gardenia bush. Amanda smiled to herself.

_Mysterious certainly didn't travel far to find this flower. That means it has to be someone in the palace. Maybe not,_ Amanda thought to herself. But her thoughts were abruptly ended when she saw a branch with now flower on it, yet it had no leaf either. The tip of the branch was bare, cut to a diagonal, the inside showing. A sudden rush hit Amanda. This is where Mysterious was. Who ever was the one to cut this branch was either cutting Amanda's flower for Mysterious, or was in fact Mysterious himself. Amanda's heart beat sped up.

"Intriguing, aren't they?" said a rich, smooth voice from behind Amanda. Amanda jumped, her back straightening like a rod, and her heart stopped. Amanda turned to see an olive skinned, dark haired, golden eyed man standing behind her. He looked oddly familiar, and he smiled like he knew Amanda.

"Perhaps you don't remember me, Lady Marslyn," he said politely, "Adonis Gregili." The bell downed in Amanda's head.

"Ah, the man from the tavern. Nice to see you again," Amanda said, relaxing, and walking towards him.

"Well, thank you," he answered, "and you?"

"Well enough. Oh, I'd like to apologize for my behavior at the tavern last night. I was quite intoxicated, something I shouldn't have been in the first place, and quite upset."

"Apology accepted," he answered. Amanda gestured to the path, and Adonis nodded. They set off around the courtyard, and Amanda began to wonder.

"I hate to be rude, but how did you get into the palace?" Amanda asked. Adonis smiled.

"I'm one of the soldiers in Arthur's army. We are given free time, and life in the barracks can be a bit loud, so I often escape here," he answered, "I'll be heading out to the fields soon, and I usually come through this way." Amanda nodded.

_So, a member of Arthur's army are you? I hate to think it, but you seem far too much of a pretty boy to be part of an army,_ Amanda thought. As they turned the second corner, Adonis seemed fit to talk.

"How is young Nicolarious of the castle? Your brother, no doubt?" he asked.

"He's quite well, thank you Adonis. How did you learn that he was not well?" Amanda asked. Adonis smiled.

"Your brothers fall has been quite the subject. As is yourself milady," he answered. Amanda smiled. Even though Amanda wasn't one to trust very easily, Adonis seemed a very good person, and he was growing on her. They turned the third corner, and Adonis froze in his tracks. Amanda looked back at him, and saw that he was staring at the entrance of the courtyard. In that entrance was Gawain, Galahad, Ambrose, and Arthur. Amanda smiled at them, and then looked back at Adonis. He was not smiling. His face was pale, and stricken.

"I need to go to the fields now milady. I hope to see you again some time," he said. Amanda received a last glance from him and his golden eyes before he walked off to the fields. Quite angry with the four men standing in the doorway for scaring off her new friend, Amanda walked towards them scowling.

"What was that all about?" Amanda asked, forgetting all about her properness. She folded her arms over her chest and shifted all her weight onto her left, and uninjured,leg. When the four glanced at each other, but didn't answer, Amanda began to tap her foot. They shifted uncomfortably, and Amanda threw her hands up in the air, storming through them. Gawain and Galahad caught her by the waist.

"Do not trust Adonis Gregili," warned Gawain.

"Why not?" Amanda asked.

"Because," answered Galahad. Amanda had had it past her head with the word because.

"BECAUSE IS NOT AN ANSWER FOR ANY QUESTION I ASK!" she yelled, her face going red.

"He's not a good man, milady," said Ambrose.

"Don't you _milady _me," she said, and Ambrose backed off, "You don't even know me! Don't assume titles for me, don't assume anything about me!" Amanda stormed off in the opposite direction, she was so angry; she broke into a run, heading for the stables.

"I'm sorry Ambrose; there is something much greater going on with Amanda than what's on the surface. She would never act like that about such a silly thing," said Gawain. Ambrose nodded, and shrugged.

"I suppose we should get to the fields," said Galahad, "Or would you like us to go after her Arthur?" Arthur shook his head.

"You have troops to train," he answered. Gawain and Galahad left, and Ambrose turned to his cousin.

"Would you like me to go after her?" he asked. Arthur shook his head.

"I will," he said. Ambrose smiled and Arthur jogged after Amanda.

* * *

When Amanda mounted her horse and raced out of the city, she didn't know where to go. The feeling of loneliness crept through her veins, and her vision clouded over with tears. She thought coming back to Camelot would be good for her. It was home for a long time, and her brother was there. But ever since she arrived, Amanda had never felt lonelier in her life. Adonis was a good person to talk to. Especially when she was feeling as lonely as she was. But no, Arthur had to scare him away.

_Why can't he just worry about himself for once? He has a whole country to worry about, why does he care if I talk to Adonis? Why does he care if I go into battle? _Amanda thought angrily. The horse was heading to the graveyard, and Amanda didn't object. She would love to be in her mother's arms right now, and to talk to her father about Arthur. He would have like Arthur. He would have encouraged Amanda to tell him how she felt. How she missed her father. The tears fell more rapidly and her horse stopped at the entrance to the cemetery. Leaping off her horse, Amanda walked in and looked around. It was empty, and Amanda then ran towards their headstones. Falling to her knees in front of them, Amanda dug her hands into the earth that covered them. She clenched the grass and mindlessly pulled it up. Her hands released the grass after a short time and her arms went around her head, and she slowly leaned her body up against her fathers' gravestone. The soft thudding of hooves didn't bother Amanda; she figured someone would have come after her. She heard whoever it was dismount and walk towards her. They stopped a few feet behind her, and stood silently. Amanda could've cared less. The tears kept falling, and her body heaved with each inhale. Her emotion was now beyond her control. She stayed like that for a long time. The skies eventuallybecame overcast, and the clapping of thunder was heard overhead. Slowly, Amanda's tears dissipated in to small occasional drops running down her cheeks. Feeling lonely, but somewhat better from her cry, Amanda slowly rose, lifting all her weight on the stone. Though her ankle hurt, Amanda tried to keep her mind off it. She had been successful all day, until now. When she was about half way up from the ground, Amandas' ankle gave out; proving to be more injured than Amanda had really thought it to be. She fell back down, and the person who was behind her finally came to her aid. He caught her arm, and gently lifted her up. Amanda didn't even have to look anymore, she knew it was Arthur.

"Come, sit over here," he said, and he steered her over to a fallen tree. Amanda sat and rested, while Arthur kneeled down in front of her. He lifted up her injured foot, but Amanda recoiled, snatching her foot out of his hands.

"I won't hurt you," he said.

"You can't promise me that," Amanda retorted.

"I just want to know what's wrong with it," he said, his eyes narrowing.

"I know what's wrong with it, and that's all that matters. Keep your worries to yourself, your country, and your precious Evelina," Amanda growled. Arthur rose to his full height.

"You're impossible!" he said.

"I know! That's the way I am! I apologize if you don't like impossible people," Amanda said back, trying to stand. A sharp pain seared through her ankle in protest of her rising. But she disregarded it, keeping her face like stone.

"Sit back down," said Arthur.

"No," said Amanda, starting to walk off. On her second step her ankle gave away yet again, and her body crashed into Arthur's. He sat her back down and grabbed her foot. Amanda tried to pull it away but he glared fiercely at her. Amanda glared back, but gave in to his worries. She looked away stubbornly, and Arthur lifted her dress knee high. Curiosity getting the better of her, Amanda peered down at her ankle. It was swollen twice its size and red. Arthur looked up at her, a knowing expression on his face.

"How did this happen?" he asked.

"When I fell at the ball. When the man ran into me," Amanda answered. Arthur nodded and turned his attention back to her ankle. He began to bend it inward and the pain increased a thousand times.

"Ahh!" Amanda gasped, "Don't do that!"

"That hurt?" he asked.

"No," replied Amanda, sarcasm in full affect, "It sent a tingling sensation through my body. It made my quite giddy. Do it again."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" asked Arthur.

"Nothing you need to know about," Amanda snapped, anger welling in her chest once again.

"I'm not blind Amanda, you cried just there for a half hour. Us telling you not to befriend Adonis Gregili can't cause that many tears," said Arthur, matching her anger.

"Yes it can!" Amanda said, her eyes brimming with tears, and a knot tying itself in her throat. Amanda had no will power left to argue with her body to keep back her pain. The tears came again, and Amanda hated herself more and more. Her hands went to her eyes, trying to wipe away her tears, but the more she wiped away, the more they multiplied. Amanda didn't feel Arthurs' body kneel up against her shins, but when he placed his hands on the side of her face, Amanda felt a sensation like no other. The warmth from his hands seemed to spread through her body, reminding her of home. Arthur lifted her head so her eyes could meet his.

"What is the cause of these tears?" he asked his voice gentle.

"Loneliness Arthur," answered Amanda.

"But you're surrounded by people who love you," he said. Amanda closed her eyes and shook her head. Her hands rested upon Arthurs forearms, and her right slid up to his hand.

"I know that," Amanda said, "I've never felt lonelier in my life. I don't know why. I just do." Arthur's eyes changed all of a sudden. From caring, to knowing. Amanda broke the silence by laughing.

"You needn't worry about me Arthur," said Amanda wiping her eyes, and removing Arthur's hands. Arthur smiled and lifted Amanda's foot once more. He pushed her dress hem to her knee and his fingers ran over her ankle.

"The Caretaker should be able to mend this. Next time your hurt, don't try and fight it, it only makes things worse," said Arthur. Amanda blushed, and smiled. She looked down at Arthur, but saw he wasn't looking back. He was staring at her knee, where there was a scar. The scar from over two years ago; when he saved her from the Saxons. Amanda smiled, and ran her hand over it.

"That's the best it ever got. I think I should have had stitches," Amanda commented. Arthurs hand went to his stomach, where Amanda had given him stitches after the battle with the Saxons.

"That was such a long time ago," said Amanda.

"Yes," replied Arthur, "It was a long time ago."

"Like a lifetime," said Amanda, thinking about Bishop Ahias, and Joseph, and when it was just her and Arthur. No Edem, no Evelina. Amanda felt her body be washed over with her feelings for Arthur.

_Why didn't you tell him ages ago? You should have just told him. Tell him now. No, it would make no difference. He's got Evelina. And you have Edem. Or you had Edem. Why didn't you tell Arthur? _

"Why?" Amanda asked herself. Arthur looked up at her, and Amanda's face went hard.

"Why what?" Arthur asked. Amanda sighed.

"Nothing," she said. Arthur rose, looking down at Amanda.

"Don't look at me like that Arthur, you make me feel so unworthy," Amanda said, looking away. She pushed her dress back down over her leg and she hoisted herself up on a remaining branch. Arthur offered her a hand, but Amanda declined. Much to her protesting looks, Arthur took her elbow, and separated himself little from Amanda.

"Why are you like this?" Arthur asked. Amanda looked up at him, and knitted her eyebrows together.

"What do you mean Arthur?" she asked.

"You are so," he paused searching for the word, "stoic. Many other women show their emotions. When they're hurt, they say when they're hurt. You, you hate to cry, you hate to be helped, you hate others to know your anguish. Why?" Amanda thought on it for a moment, and then smiled.

"Are you asking me why I am the way I am?" Amanda asked.

"Yes," Arthur answered.

"Well," replied Amanda, "that's easy. I am because that's the way God made me."

"Please," said Arthur, "a more tangible answer." Amanda sighed and grabbed her horses' reins.

"Because Arthur," said Amanda, "It's just the way I think I should be. If other women show their emotions; fine, I'm no lady. I was raised as a woman, my other half being a man. It's been this way since the dawn of time. I dislike pain because it holds me back. I don't want anyone helping me because I'm just too damn proud. I can do anything and everything by myself as well and the next person. It's just who I am Arthur. Do not question my why I am myself; for that I have no answer to." Arthur seemed only confused. Amanda sighed, "Arthur, I was raised to do things for myself and others. I was taught to think of others first, then myself. Giving is more important than taking. Please try and understand. I need few things in this world. Only one of them something I cannot do myself. As for that, I avoid it."

"Love," said Arthur. Amanda looked up at him surprised. Holding his gaze for a few moments, and then looking away, Amanda was shocked he knew what she was referring to.

"Yes," said Amanda, "Love is not a one sided thing."

"Yet it's the one feeling people need," said Arthur.

"I know," replied Amanda, "but I learned to try and go without it. I wish to try and go without loving another and avoid being loved by another."

_And that obviously didn't work,_ Amanda thought.

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"Because love is a pain far greater than any other on this Earth. It can make even the strongest crumble to its power. And the worst thing? It doesn't care. It's a pain I could not bear."

Arthur and Amanda rode back to the palace in silence, and Amanda went to the Caretaker's unescorted. This, she insisted upon. She knocked on the door and the Caretaker called for her to enter. She entered and saw Ambrose being bandaged around his middle.

"Lord Ambrose!" Amanda exclaimed, "What happened?"

"Just a scratch," he said with a smile. Amanda limped over to him as the Caretaker finished.

"What's wrong?" Ambrose asked.

"Last night when I was run over," Amanda said. Ambrose nodded.

"I knew it was more than just your head tapping the floor," he said. Amanda smiled and sat in a chair. Ambrose put his tunic slowly back on, careful not to wreck the bandage.

"Lift your leg," said the Caretaker. Amanda lifted her leg, and the Caretaker pushed back her dress which fell to her mid thigh. Ambrose looked away, a pink color filling his cheeks. Amanda smiled and realized that she was being bandaged.

"You sprained your ankle. Rest for a few days and keep it on a pillow," the Caretaker instructed. Amanda nodded and winced as her foot slid to an angle. Ambrose was still waiting and the Caretaker sped up his process. When finished, Amanda and Ambrose thanked him together, and Ambrose offered her his arm. Amanda accepted and off they went.

"I have to apologize for my behavior earlier today. I didn't mean what I said. I...I...,"

"Don't worry about it Amanda. You were right. I don't know you. I'd like to be given the chance to though. I meant it when I told you that I liked you more and more more everytime I saw you. I'd really like to know you," said Ambrose. Amanda smiled.

"I think I can manage that," Amanada said. Ambrose smiled.

"What really happened?" Amanda asked as they neared her room. Ambrose smiled and looked at Amanda.

"All in good time. I promise," he answered. Amanda furrowed her brow and frowned.


	11. Birthday

Chapter 11: Birthday

Disclaimer: blah blah blah blah blah

Note: Thanks for the reviews! I loved reading them! I'm really into this now; we'll see where my mind takes us!

* * *

The next morning Amanda tried to keep herself in bed as long as possible, resting her foot. But, as her birthday neared, and no comment on it from anyone, Amanda began to wonder how it would be spent.

_Surely Nicolarious has planned something,_ Amanda thought hopefully. _I hope Evelina wasn't invited I really don't like her at all. She is getting on my nerves. Just because Arthur might marry her doesn't make her goddess of the Earth. Obnoxious, annoying, bratty..._

"Little twit," Amanda said under her breath. Leaning her head back, Amanda began to think about Arthur. He was going to marry Evelina, he had told her himself. Even though it weighed her heart, Amanda knew Evelina was good for Arthur. She was kind and sweet, and gentle. And also smart, which made Amanda even sadder.

"What was thinking? I'd never be able to capture the heart of a man like that. Evelina is God's choice for him, not I," Amanda said to herself quietly. Her thoughts wandered to two years before, after Galahad killed Joseph and Bishop Ahias, he tried to tell her something. They all had. Gawain told they would tell her, and Arthur too. The yearning she had felt before to know this, entered her body once again. But, before it could linger, a knock came on the door.

"Come in," she called, not bothering to move. Edem came in and smiled at her.

"How's your ankle?" he asked.

"It's been better," Amanda said with a smile.

"Listen Amanda," Edem started, "I want to apologize for the other night. I was drunk and I should have respected you more when you told me no. Can you ever forgive me?" Amanda looked at him, and sat up, her hand going gently to his cheek. Her thumb began to stroke his cheekbone as he leaned into her hand.

"Of course I do," Amanda answered. Her hands slid into his hair and ran through his thick, dark curls. His eyes wandered up her body and finally met hers. They were the same color as Arthurs. Amanda tried to shake him from her mind, but his eyes were right in front of her. How many times had she looked into Arthur's eyes and seen everything she wanted? How many times had she looked into Edem's and seen the same?

_None,_ Amanda thought, answering her question. Edem leaned in, and his lips met hers, his hand sliding to her waist and lingering there. Arthur entered Amanda's head again, and the dream. Amanda pulled away, and looked at Edem.

"I'm awfully hungry," she said. Edem sat up.

"I'll get you food," he said, happy to be of service to Amanda. Amanda watched him go, and realized how much of an affect she had had on Edem by forgiving him, and kissing him again. She began to wish he had the same affect on her. Not long after Edem left, another knock came at the door.

"Come in," she called. Gawain, Bors, and Galahad walked in together.

"Hello my dear," said Bors, his gruff voice foreign to such sweet words.

"Good morning Bors," Amanda said brightly, happy to see her friends.

"What? No good mornings for us?" Galahad asked.

"No," Amanda answered.

"Why not?" asked Gawain.

"Because you haven't said good morning to me yet. Either of you," Amanda answered, looking away out her window. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gawain and Galahad look at each other, and they then jumped on to the bed. Amanda moved her injured leg, a searing pain rushing through her ankle.

"Come on guys!" said Bors, "The girl is injured enough as it is!" Amanda smiled up at Bors and he nodded as the boys got off.

"Thank you Bors," said Amanda.

"That's two for him and none for us," said Galahad.

"He's got a family. You're more likely to be bedded by us than by him!" Gawain said. Amanda laughed.

"I don't know," replied Amanda, "I tend to have a thing for loud, rude, disruptive, aggressive, bald men."

"I'd say more of a thing for dark curly haired men with green eyes if you don't mind me saying," Gawain said, sitting on her bed.

"I do," agreed Amanda, "Edem is a very handsome man." Galahad laughed.

"Have you noticed that Edem and Arthur look a lot alike? The brown curly hair, the green eyes, tall, well built men. You can't tell me you haven't noticed," said Gawain.

"Actually," Amanda said, "I've never noticed before." Which was the truth; Amanda hadn't noticed how much Edem and Arthur looked a like.

"Anyway," Amanda countered, "haven't you noticed that Aalya looks a lot like Evelina. We all know you like Evelina Gawain." Gawains' jaw dropped.

"Gee," said Galahad, "I guess you're right." Gawain stood and smacked Galahad upside the head.

"Twat," he said, and Galahad struck him in the stomach.

"Oh please you two," said Bors.

"Bors," Amanda said, "who is the knight buried next to my parents?" Bors, Gawain, and Galahad froze.

_I guess I struck a nerve. This can't be good..._

"Dagonet," answered Bors, half whispering.

"Who's that?" Amanda asked. Much to her surprise, Bors left the room, his head in his hand, and Galahad went after him. Amanda looked to Gawain.

"I didn't mean it. I was just wondering who he was," Amanda said. Gawain raised his hand to hush her, and he sat next to her on her bed.

"Dagonet was a fellow Knight," he explained, "he was killed on our last mission from Rome. Bors cared for him like a father to a son. Bors is very tender on the subject, as you saw." Amanda nodded.

"Gawain," she said.

"Yes?" he asked, looking down at her.

"I was wondering if it was time for me to know about the note," Amanda asked. Gawain gave her a puzzled look, "you know, the one from two years ago with Joseph and Bishop Ahias." Saying his name sent chills up Amanda's spine, and Gawains too by the look of his stone face.

"No Amanda," he answered. Amanda sighed in disappointment, "I was never the one to tell you anyway. Well, part of it I'm supposed to tell you. But not now." Amanda pouted, looking away out the window.

"Oh alright, just wipe that lip of your face," said Gawain, giving in. Amanda looked at him. She didn't realize her pouting would have such a toll on Gawain.

_I've found a weakness of the great Gawain. Interesting..._

"My part is that we all love you Amanda. Had Bishop Ahias or Joseph succeeded in killing you, or kidnapping you, there isn't one of us who wouldn't go to any limits to save you. As for me, I do love you Amanda, very much so. All of us."

"But, in the dungeon, when Galahad killed the Bishop, he spoke directly to Arthur. He said 'After all, it would have killed you'. He didn't move his eyes from Arthur," Amanda said. Gawain shrugged.

"That you have to ask Arthur about. And I think it's time he told you. Next time you see him, in private, ask him," Gawain said, and Amanda nodded. Then, Edem came back into the room with a plate and a glass in his hand. He didn't give Gawain a welcoming look, but when he saw they were doing nothing but talking, he eased up and gave Amanda her breakfast.

"Thank you Edem," Amanda said happily.

"Arthur says he hopes you feel better. And even though she didn't intend for me to hear it, Evelina hope you die. Not a nice person, that Evelina," Edem said. Amanda jabbed her fork into her food.

"No," agreed Gawain, "she's not. You've been causing some serious trouble in her life Amanda. I hope you know that. You and Arthur being such close friends, and then being close with us, and all the talk, and having a fine a man as Edem here. Her little world is far from perfect now." Amanda smiled broadly on the inside, her face remaining indifferent on the outside. Gawain and Edem continued to talk about Evelina and Amanda and the talk, but Amanda was listening intently.

"Hush," she said, "Listen." Edem and Gawain fell silent, and they heard what Amanda heard. A loud crash came from the hall and yells.

"You're acting ridiculous! She and I are friends," Arthur's voice boomed, "If you ever say that again Evelina, I swear, you will be banished from this island!" Amanda's door slammed open, and in walked Arthur dragging Evelina by the arm, Ambrose in hot pursuit, "Now," said Arthur, stopping in front of Amanda, "apologize this instant."

"No!" cried Evelina, "she doesn't even know what I've done!"

"I know you hope I die," Amanda said calmly. Evelina glared at her, and then to Edem.

"What? I'm not going to keep that what I heard a secrete from the one you wished it upon. Especially when she means so much to me," Edem said coolly. Evelina sneered. She looked back at Amanda and ripped her arm out of Arthurs' grasp. Taking a step closer to Amanda she leaned forward, and spit on her. Amanda was too quick for her. She grabbed Evelina's arm and stood, not caring how much it hurt. No one spat on her and got away with it. Amanda wiped it off her face and rubbed it on Evelinas' sleeve. She then raised her hand and slapped Evelina across the face.

"No one spits on me," Amanda hissed, "Especially obnoxious, ungrateful, insolent little brat like yourself." She released Evelina and Evelina stormed out of the room. Arthur then confronted Amanda.

"What did you do that for?" he yelled, anger expressed in his eyes.

"She spat on me!" Amanda yelled back.

"You didn't have to slap her!" Arthur yelled, taking a step closer to Amanda.

"THIS IS UNBELIEVEABLE! ARTHUR SHE SPAT ON ME! _SPAT_ ON ME! WHAT I DID WAS FAR LESS VILE THAN WHAT SHE DID!" Amanda countered, her face inches away from Arthurs'. Arthur glared at her.

"You are acting like a child! I thought you were better than that!" Arthur bellowed, but Amanda stood unwavering. He stormed out after Evelina, and Amanda collapsed on to her bed. Her throat knotted up, and her eyes became watery. A tear escaped and Amanda sat on her bed, shaking. Gawain kneeled down in front of her, his thumb wiping away the fresh tears. Amanda looked at him, and he looked back.

"Don't mind him Amanda. He didn't mean anything he said. He'll come back and apologize when he realizes how much of a bastard he was," said Gawain, his voice soft, and comforting.

"But he still said it," Amanda said, "You can't take back what you say." Gawain pulled her into him and Amanda broke down there, Arthur's voice ringing in her ears, head and heart.

_I thought you were better than that...

* * *

_

The next few hours were distressing for Amanda. What if Arthur hated her? What if Evelina convinced him to throw Amanda out, or worse? After the Knights and Edem left her, Amanda was left to think on her own. She stared at things in her room, but not noticing them. After a while, Amanda looked around her room again, and saw the Gardenia Mysterious had sent her. She hadn't sent a reply back. Slowly getting up, Amanda walked to her vanity and pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill.

_Thank you, _

_It's a beautiful flower. But does it mean what I think it does? And if it should, why me? _

_-Amanda _

Amanda rolled up the parchment and tied it to her door knob. Anys was sure to see it there. Amanda then went back to bed, drifting off into a deep sleep.

Amanda awoke several times in the night but didn't get up. She had the kissing dream again, over and over, every time she fell asleep, it would happen all over. She wished it didn't. She wished it would just go away. Arthur would never kiss her now. The next time Amanda awoke, a great loud noise was coming from outside. Getting up and slowly walking to the wall, Amanda peered over the edge that looked into the city and saw Evelina and Arthur upon a platform. Flower petals were being thrown from roof tops, and the two were smiling at each other. In one of the corners of the platform were the Knights, brooding, obviously not happy with Arthur.

_What is going on?_ Amanda thought. Then, as if Arthur heard her thoughts, he got down on one knee in front of Evelina and took her hand in his. The crowd silenced, but the excitement grew larger.

"Evelina," Arthur said, taking something out of his pocket, Evelina gasped, "will you marry me?" Amanda's eyes widened. What on Earth was happening? They were getting married! Arthur and Evelina, getting married? Amanda stared at Arthur, as he embraced and kissed Evelina in happiness. Amanda saw Galahad point up to her, but she only glanced at him. Her breathing sped up, and her heart seemed to be beating a thousand times a second.

_They're getting married. She's going to be queen. I'm going to have to kneel down to that scum. _

"Arthur no," Amanda put her hand to her forehead, and the noise became very distant. The soft thudding of footsteps behind her was the last thing she heard before darkness embraced her.

* * *

The sunlight from the window made Amanda hate the sun. She rolled over in her bed, opening her eyes slightly. She saw a body there, someone talking to her.

"Whose there?" Amanda asked angrily.

"It's Gawain," he said.

"Oh," Amanda said relaxing, her head throbbing, "What happened to me?"

"You, uh, passed out," he answered. Amanda remembered now.

"He isn't marrying her is he?" Amanda asked, opening her eyes fully now. Gawain swallowed.

"Yeah, he's marrying her," he answered. Amanda wanted to scream, and yell, and shout, and bash Arthur's head against the wall, and push Evelina off the wall.

"We all thought," Gawain voice trailed off, but Amanda didn't care. A knock came at the door that seemed as loud as if they were pounding and her head was right next to it.

"What?" Amanda called out angrily.

"It's your brother!" Nicolarious cried back. He opened the door and wheeled himself in.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. I heard all about your fall," he said. Amanda looked at Gawain, who winked at her most discretely.

"How are you?" Amanda asked.

"Fine. Happy, did you hear about Arthur and Evelina?" he asked cheerily.

"Of course I heard about twit and twat," Amanda said under her breath.

"What?" Nicolarious asked.

"I said of course I did," Amanda answered. Then another knock came at the door.

"What!" Amanda cried angrily again.

"It's Arthur," he said.

"GO AWAY!" Amanda screamed.

"And Evelina," he tried again.

"Congratulations," Amanda said sarcastically, "but I'm in no mood to speak to either of you!" she yelled. Arthur entered the room anyway, and glared at Amanda.

"Don't look at me like that," she said bitterly.

"Could you please leave us for a moment?" Arthur asked his tone of voice firm. Amanda glared at him, and he glared back. Evelina left unhappily, and shut the door louder than it needed to be as she walked out.

"As long as Nicolarious is here you remain a guest in this house, but you will not disrespect me," Arthur said, "or-" but Amanda cut him off.

"Or your precious Evelina? Well I'll have you know Arthur; as soon as I'm better I'm leaving. I won't stay somewhere I'm not welcomed."

"It's not that we don't want you here Amanda, it's your attitude we don't want," Arthur said.

"Well I wouldn't be in such a bad mood if your little bride- to- be hadn't _spit_ on me now would I?" Amanda asked angrily, "Nor would my mood be quite so bad if you hadn't actually sided with someone who _spat _on me! Arthur! She basically told me I was a nothing! You don't spit on someone without bad intentions. And you sided with her! You agreed with her! You yelled at me and overreacted because I gave a brat what she was going to get from somebody else anyway! Don't you dare call me unbelievable!" she screamed.

"You will not talk to me like that," Arthur said, his calm face angering Amanda beyond belief.

"Why not?" Amanda asked back, "you hate me anyway! So why not tell you the truth now? You wouldn't have told Guinevere to stop, would you? No! Why don't you go dry over her grave? Why are you marrying someone when you love someone else who just happens to be dead?" Arthur raised his hand in anger, "Go on Arthur! Hit me! Go ahead, you're the King. DO IT!" Amanda got out of bed and stood in front of Arthur, her eyes fearless and angry.

"What is this about?" Arthur asked, is voice softening and his eyes caring.

"Don't you dare start to care about me now Arthur!" Amanda screamed as she ran out of the room. She passed the eavesdropping Evelina and looked at her in disgust. Arthur followed after Amanda and looked at Evelina in anger, who cowered.

"Amanda! Wait!" Arthur said, but Amanda would wait for no one. She tried to run down the stairs, but had to walk due to her ankle. Tears were streaming down her face, tears of hate. Gawain was at the bottom of the stairs, confused about all the noise.

"Ho!" he said as he caught Amanda by the waist and held her.

"Let me go!" Amanda cried, as Arthur neared the bottom.

"What's going on?" Gawain asked, and Amanda sunk into his chest.

"I hate him!" Amanda said, "And he hates me." Arthur slowed to a walk as he came down the stairs, shocked that Amanda would think that. He reached out to touch her, but Gawain pulled her away.

"No," he said, "she's been hurt enough by you. Damn it Arthur! It's her fucking birthday!" Arthur recoiled his hand and stared at Amanda as she cried continually in Gawain's arms. What had he done?

* * *

After a long talk in Amanda's room, Gawain finally left her to get some sleep, but she would get none. Anys entered the room excitedly after Gawain left.

"Miss," she said, "this arrived for you." She held out a blue egg shaped ball, that Amanda took. It was beautiful. There were small designs painted in gold, green, and red, and a thin gold line around the center. Amanda ran her hand over the top, and felt it slightly pull back with her hand. Amanda pushed again and the top opened. Amanda looked inside and on a small navy blue cushion was a ring. A sapphire ring surrounded by diamonds. Amanda and Anys gasped.

"It's from Mysterious," Anys said, "this was with it." She handed a small roll of parchment and Amanda undid it. It read:

_Because...happy birthday my dear. _


	12. An Unexpected Guest

Chapter 12: An Unexpected Guest

Disclaimer: I do not own Arthur or any of his original acquaintances from the movie. Everyone else is due to my excellent creation.

Note: Thanks for the reviews. I was away on vacation and I just got new braces on this morning, and I am in excruciating pain. Let's see if writing helps.

* * *

Amanda's eyes had never hurt so much since her parents died. The visit back to Camelot was worse than she could have ever dreamed. She thought she'd be happy again, laughing and smiling with her brother, and the Knights, and Arthur. She never imagined this. All this chaos and being upset, it was impossible to deal with. However, Mysterious had tied her over that night. Amanda stared at the ring for days; wondering if she should wear it, and if it was real, and, of course, who was this blasted man. Arthur had tried to talk to Amanda, but she stayed locked away in her room, only answering for Anys, Nicolarious, and Gawain. Bors and Galahad had left in their fury the night it happened, and hadn't been heard from since. Lord Ambrose had come once, but he had tried to tell Amanda how Arthur felt. Amanda was so angry she made him leave, and she hadn't seen head or foot of him since. It was nearing two weeks when Amanda finally had a guest other than the usual Gawain, Anys, Nicolarious, and Arthur. The knock came hard at the door, and very impatient. 

"Who is it?" Amanda called sourly, not in the mood for anybody.

"Caia," she answered back, the same sourness in her own voice. Amanda got up in a huff and opened the door. Her curls now formed a greasy bush upon her head, and her face pale from lack of light. She was still in her nightgown, and her most recent outfits were cast on the floor like unwanted weeds.

"You're absolutely ridiculous, do you know that?" she asked forcefully, pushing her way in as Amanda rolled her eyes, "You've been sitting up here for the past two weeks without a care in the world but for yourself."

"And I have every right to!" Amanda countered, flopping back onto her bed.

"Oh you do, do you?" Caia asked, picking up some of the clothes and folding them.

"Of course I do! But it wouldn't matter to you what he did," Amanda spitting out the word _he _as if it were bad milk, "You'd defend him! You've known him all your life!" Caia's face went hard.

"Who told you that?" she asked coolly.

"Your beloved Lord Ambrose Thaddeus of Laurelshire," Amanda answered, reaching for her pillow.

"Well, that is another matter entirely. My point of this visit is to get your lazy, moping ass out of bed," Caia said, force and color returning to her face. Amanda stared at her in disbelief, "Oh like you've never said 'ass' before." Amanda returned to her distasteful self. Turning her nose up and her face away, Amanda tried to block Caia out.

"Oh no, you don't. You will not snub me like you do others Amanda Marslyn," Caia said, coming over and taking Amanda's face in her hands, "You tell me what's going on this instant. You used to love Arthur." At this, Amanda's pride and anger exploded in her chest.

"Loved Arthur? _Loved Arthur?_ Are you mad? I am so sick of that! I don't know why you think, or anyone else for that matter, has the right to say who I love, and who I don't. None of those bloody gossipers were inside these walls went on to see what went on! They have no right to judge me! I DO NOT LOVE ARTHUR!" Amanda screamed. She rushed over to her drawers and took out all her dresses. She flung the heap on to the floor and picked up one. It was a rather ugly one, made of a nasty green color. Amanda grabbed her sword and sliced it against the dress, making a slight tear. She then used all her might and ripped the dress in two. She continued to rip until the dress was nothing but small shards of green cloth. Amanda would have cried, but there were no more tears in her. She would have screamed, but there was no longer a voice. She would have ran and thrown the pieces of cloth at Arthur, but she didn't have the will to move her feet. And all the while Amanda's tantrum went on; Caia stared at her, calmly and patiently. When Amanda finally stopped, she stared right back at Caia, nothing but anger rampaging through her soul. Then, Caia laughed.

"I cannot believe you don't see it," Caia said, taking Amanda by the hand and sitting her on her bed.

"See what?" Amanda asked her anger level decreasing and her curiosity increasing.

"Your beauty," Caia answered. Amanda rolled her eyes, and looked away to her door to see the entering Anys.

"What in the name of God happened here?" she asked herself quietly.

"Oh, I'm sorry Anys. I had a bit of a temper tantrum. Here let me pick them up," Amanda explained, hurrying to pick up the shards of cloth.

"Lucky you picked an ugly dress," Caia commented, and Amanda laughed.

"It was intentional," Amanda replied, and Anys giggled.

"Anys, can you bathe Amanda for me?" Caia asked. Anys nodded, and Caia rose to leave, "I'll be back in an hour. When I do, we'll go for a walk." Amanda smiled and Caia left.

"I have to pardon my behavior to you these past weeks. I was in a terrible mood," Amanda said to Anys quietly as she filled up the tub.

"Nothing you need to worry about Miss. It didn't bother me," Anys answered with a sweet smile. Amanda took off her nightdress and looked at herself in the mirror. A large scar ran across her right breast and to her side. Amanda ran her index and middle fingers up the pink line, the coolness of her fingers causing goose bumps on her arms.

"Where on Earth did you get that?" Anys asked.

_The Bishop,_ Amanda thought to herself. When she was younger and in Rome.

It was dark in her room, but there was the sure sound of footsteps in front of her door. She had rolled over on her back, straining to hear them. The sound was replaced by the shuffle of the cloth covering the entrance way. It was him. He was back for more. She hated him. The way he smiled at her through the dark, and the way he whispered in her ear. She hated the way he hit her, and the way he forced her legs open. Then, he'd enter her, and she would push, but she was already tired from the late hour, and the fighting she'd already gone through. _Why couldn't her father hear her when she screamed? _When she would give up, he would command her entirely, making her hate him even more. She hated the way he pulled her body and the stink of his breath when he'd moan in her face. The very last part of those nights she hated the most. He'd get tired of doing all the work, or so he said, and he'd have to sit down. The problem was, he was still aroused. He still needed more. So, he'd drag her to him and make her do disgusting things to him. Unspeakable things. On the last night, she refused to do the unspeakable things to the Bishop, but he kept shoving her, and hitting her. So, finally she complied, but not without an idea. She began, and then bit him; just hard enough to break the skin. His blood tasted sour in her mouth, but his wails of pain gave her enough time to go to her bedside and grab her father's dagger he gave her. He rose, and lunged at her, taking her throat in his hand and holding. Each second became longer, as his grip became tighter, and her gasps for breath became louder. Finally, her grasp on the dagger uncurled and he took the dagger away, slicing her across her chest. She would have screamed, but he was still choking her. The blood dripped down her naked body, and his lips curled into an evil smile. He then let go of her, and she fell to the floor.

Amanda ran her hand over the uneven skin, her thoughts miles away in a land she'd rather not think about.

"Miss?" Anys asked. Amanda looked at Anys' reflection in the mirror.

"I can't remember Anys," Amanda said.

_That was another time. Another girl, another world. She isn't even you,_ Amanda thought, climbing into the bath.

* * *

Amanda and Caia were sitting out in one of the fields outside the walls when Amanda thought about what she said to Caia. 

"I'm sorry about what I said to you," Amanda said, down casting her blue eyes. Caia laughed.

"That's why I can't believe you don't think you're beautiful," she said, her hair falling into her face, every meaning of the word in Caia.

"When did I say that I didn't think that?" Amanda asked, wishing to drop the subject.

"You didn't, but I know you don't. You put others too far before yourself to even have time to think about yourself. Or is it?" Caia asked. Amanda furrowed her brow and looked at Caia.

"What in the name of God does that mean?" Amanda asked.

"Well, are you really that generous, or do you not think highly of yourself for another, self produced reason?" Caia clarified. Amanda let the words sink in and thought about what she was asking.

"I don't know Caia," Amanda said after several long moments of thought. Caia smiled, but didn't press the matter further.

"Caia, why do you use a different voice when you talk to Ambrose?" Amanda asked. It was Caia's turn to furrow her brow.

"What? A different voice? You're making me sound crazy!" Caia exclaimed.

"No really!" Amanda said with a laugh, "I first noticed it when you talked to him at the ball. It's a very cool, polite, almost arrogant voice. Like you want nothing to do with him," Amanda explained.

"Oh, _that _voice," Caia said, realizing what Amanda was talking about, "Well, that's my flirting voice." Amanda's eyes widened in a questioning manner.

"You like Ambrose?" Amanda asked. Caia tried to hide it with a dry face, but Amanda saw the slight pink fill her cheeks.

"Ambrose and I have known each other a long time. Besides, almost every girl has a different voice she uses to talk to a man with. Sometimes it's high pitched and giddy. Other times it's very flat, and dry. There are so many different ways. You must have one," Caia said.

"Sorry, no, I don't waste my time trying to think of a different voice to talk to someone else with," Amanda replied.

"It comes naturally Amanda." Caia said, "Most times, girls don't even realize it's a different voice. I only realized it because my mother told me that I did it. I'll have to listen to you talk to a man. Ah, come, we'll go to the fields."

"Caia, no! We'll get in so much trouble!" Amanda warned.

"Oh stop your whining and come with me," Caia said, grabbing Amanda's hand and dragging her away. Caia really was very youthful. Many things pleased her that would please a young girl. Amanda wondered whether or not this was part of Caia's nature or not. But, away she dragged her, and they were out in the fields almost instantly. The grunts of men and thuds of wooden swords filled the air as the men of Arthur's massive army trained. Standing on the top of a gentle slope stood Galahad and Gawain, looking curiously at Caia leading Amanda up the hill.

"What are you two doing out here?" Galahad asked Caia as she reached them.

"None of your business," Amanda said.

"At least she's out of her room," Caia joined. Galahad and Gawain nodded there agreements. Caia elbowed Amanda in the side to talk to Gawain and Galahad. Amanda looked at her and mouthed 'Don't get your hopes up' and stood next to Gawain.

"The troops look good," Amanda commented, lost already on where this would lead.

"Mmm," he replied, "they are out here everyday for hours."

"Tyrant," Amanda teased, feeling at ease with her old friends.

"You got that right," Galahad joked. Gawain looked flabbergasted.

"Excuse me miss, but what have you known about me being a tyrant?" Gawain asked.

"Galahad and Nicolarious tell me everything," Amanda whispered. Gawain furrowed his brow and began to protest but anyone could see the smile in his eyes.

"Nonsense," he finally said.

"Nonsense? Did you hear that Galahad? He said that his problem is nonsense. Well my dear sir, I say nonsense to that!" Amanda said walking over to Galahad and standing at his side.

"Why you sly little thing! What problem?" Gawain asked.

"Your anger problem," Amanda whispered to him in a very serious manner. Galahad snorted in his laughter and Gawain tried to give Amanda a stern look but soon abandoned the situation as hopeless. Galahad clashed his shield and sword together, making a loud, bone quaking, metallic thud. Amanda saw that it was used to stop the troops from working, and they gathered at the bottom of the hill.

"You may go," Gawain shouted, and the cheers from the men erupted.

"Ah, Caia, I believe they are dismissing us," Amanda said, grabbing Caia's arm and starting off down the hill.

"Amanda!" cried Galahad. Amanda turned to face him.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Will you be coming to dinner then?" he asked. Amanda laughed.

"Yes, I suppose so," she answered, Caia dragging her away.

"You'll stay for dinner too, won't you Caia?" Amanda asked.

"I don't see why not. But you are avoiding the subject. I agree, you haven't wasted your time making up a whole new voice to talk to men with," she mocked, "you've made up a whole other personality."

"What?" Amanda gasped, bewildered, "You're mad Caia! I am no different to men than I am to you!"

"Oh yes you are! To Gawain and Galahad you act very sarcastically, and very forceful. With me you are sarcastic, yet mindful of yourself and others. You are two totally different people when you are different company," said Caia. The two entered the palace again, and Amanda and Caia were suddenly pushed back a few steps when they collided with two other people heading their way. Amanda caught Caias arm, her reflexes being better, and snapped her head up to see who it was they walked into. Amanda saw Ambrose and Arthur collecting themselves after being walked into.

"I beg our pardon," Amanda said softly, wishing Caia would stop fiddling with her dress and walk on. Amanda looked at Caia, and saw that she was smiling at Ambrose.

"Terribly sorry Arthur, Ambrose. We weren't watching where we were walking. Are you both alright?" Caia asked.

"Honestly Caia, how hurt could we possibly be? I think the question is, are the two of you alright?" Ambrose asked. Caia nodded for the both of them, and Amanda simply looked around, trying to avoid their eyes. She could feel he was looking at her. She knew it, but she wouldn't look at him.

"By the way Ambrose," started Caia, choosing the wrong time to flirt, "the two of us could have hurt the both of you immensely. You're just so much of a man you hate to admit it."

"Caia," chimed in Arthur, "just because you have boney elbows doesn't mean they'd hurt as much as we would. We outweigh you any day."

"Yes but we can out run you," Amanda said softly, not being able to resist the urge. After all, she had the facts.

"You think you can, can you?" asked Ambrose.

"Of course my Lord, ask your cousin. He knows," Amanda commented, wishing she had held her tongue. She still didn't look at them, instead averting her eyes to the floor. She felt Caia's arm slip out of hers, but Amanda didn't look up. She saw one of the men's feet stand in front of her, but she still didn't look up.

_I wish I knew which one of them wore black boots. With my luck, they both do_, Amanda thought.

"Amanda," he said, and she closed her eyes with a sigh.

"Yes?" she asked bitterness in her voice.

"You can't stay mad at me forever," he said.

"Yes I can," Amanda hissed.

"Why?" Arthur asked.

"Why what?" Amanda asked.

"Why would you waste your time being mad at me when there are so many things you can do with that time?" Arthur asked. Amanda looked up at him, right into his green eyes, hoping they'd fall out.

"Because," she said. To her surprise, Arthur smiled.

"I have to give it to you Amanda. You are very clever. Sharper than a sword. It's one of the many things you leave as a first impression. Something I didn't expect you to have when I first met your parents and they told me your situation. But, I have to ask your forgiveness. I cannot bear to have you mad at me," he pleaded. He paused a moment and looked at her, "You are a friend that I cannot go without." Amanda tightened her jaw, and she could feel the muscles moving. She was thinking it over, and she was staring at Arthur intently. His eyes crinkled with amusement.

"I won't forgive you if you keep laughing at me!" Amanda said angrily.

"I'm not laughing at you!" Arthur said.

"Oh please! I know you were! What were you laughing at anyway? I don't think this is funny!" Amanda said.

"This isn't, no! You are though. Standing there glaring at me, your eyes fixed into an unreadable expression, and your jaw tightened so much that I think I'll need a wedge to undo it," Arthur teased. Amanda rolled her eyes, but smiled, "HA! I knew I could do it!" Arthur said.

"This doesn't mean I forgive you. What you did to me was an awful, horrible thing. You hurt my feelings very much," Amanda said quieting.

"I know," Arthur said, stepping toward her again, and taking her hands, "I didn't realize it though. I was angry at Evelina for saying that, and when you slapped her I don't know what came over me."

"Love came over you Arthur," Amanda said, the words like hornets in her mouth, stinging with every letter.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"Arthur, you love Evelina! You'd do anything for her. You are going to marry her. I am but a friend. There is an extreme difference. Even if you love your friends more than yourself. Evelina comes first, then your friends. That's just the way your heart works," Amanda explained, feeling an odd pain in her chest. Her hands felt warm in his, and she longed for his warmth to spread around the rest of her body. Then, out of the sky, came the ringing of the trumpets, causing Amanda to jump.

"Come," Arthur said, and they walked swiftly to the entrance of the palace.

When they got there, Merlin was in the Hall, with three others. Two were just soldiers for protection, and the other wore a cloak, hiding their face. Arthur greeted Merlin and his soldiers, while the hooded figure stood off to the side. Evelina came barging through the doors, her hair a mess, and her dress a bit off center. Arthur looked at her in confusion, but introduced her as his fiancé none the less. As they stood side by side Amanda noticed a leaf in Evelina's hair. Knowing that she had been in the woods, Amanda's brain began working again. The party was moving to the throne room, and Amanda followed suit with Galahad and Gawain at her side. Once in they all sat and Jols poured nine drinks for all of them, Amanda casually pushing hers off to the side. She had given up on drinking since the last occurrence.

"Now Arthur, you know our customs, very well," said Merlin, and Arthur answered with a polite nod.

"Yes Merlin, I do."

"Well, then you know that when a mans wife dies, it's his duty to marry his wives sister," Arthur swallowed, and Evelina went white. The hooded figure pulled back her hood, to reveal the most beautiful girl Amanda had ever seen. "Guinevere's twin," said Merlin. The girl smiled a pretty smile, her cheeks filling with a slight pink and her dark hair falling to her shoulders. Not even Evelina could hold a candle to this girl's beauty.

"My name is Lai," she said softly. Her voice was nice, not demanding, nor trained. It was very honest, and pure. No one knew what to do. Evelina's color was returning to her face, and Arthur was confused beyond his own belief. Amanda was the only one happy to see Lai.

"Welcome to Camelot Lai. My name is Amanda Marslyn, I'm very pleased to meet you," Amanda said standing and taking Lai's hand.

"Oh, sit down you twit! You're only happy she's here because you want Arthur to marry her instead of me because you hate me!" Evelina yelled. Amanda kept her calm. She wasn't going to waste her time.

"Don't listen to her, she's a little crazy sometimes," Amanda whispered to Lai, "And as for you, my lady, I don't want to separate the two of you, but Arthur has to marry Lai. It's the law." Amanda smiled sweetly, and Arthur cleared his throat.

"Jols, see to Evelina's escort out of the room please. I'll talk to you about this later," he said to Evelina.

"I did not know you were to be married, when I left, Amanda was still-" But Arthur shot him dagger eyes. Amanda looked back at Merlin, and then to Arthur, who was smiling at Lai.

"Please leave us so I can talk to my future wife."

* * *

**HAHAHAHAHAHA! Evil, aren't I? REVIEW!**


	13. Chill

Chapter 13: Chill

Disclaimer: I don't any part of Arthur or his knights, and that's not about to change, but I do own Amanda and any other characters not formally affiliated with the production of King Arthur the movie. (How's that for a bunch of fancy words).

Note: You guys are so cool. Sorry I wasn't able to update, I just started high school and I'm getting loaded with homework! I'm trying my best to update every weekend. Enjoy!

* * *

As Amanda left the Round Table Room, she felt a light heartedness she hadn't felt in many moons. Arthur wasn't going to marry Evelina. He wasn't going to marry her either, but any one was better than Evelina. Amanda turned the corner to the library when she saw Evelina jogging off down the hall.

"Speaking of the Devil," Amanda said softly as she walked off after Evelina. She heard the thud of a heavy door, and Amanda searched for the source of the noise. Turning down one final hall, she reached a dead end, with a large wood door on the left wall. Amanda walked quietly to the door and placed her head against it to listen. She couldn't hear Evelina, but she heard birds chirping, and the wind blowing.

"Evelina is in a room with birds. I didn't think she could stand other living creatures," Amanda said to herself. The door was surprisingly cool, and a soft breeze blew cool air at her feet. Amanda opened the door slightly, only to be peering into blackness. opening the door all the way, Amanda sighed in confusion.

_Why would Evelina be going down a dark tunnel without any light?_ Amanda thought to herself. Running her hand through her curls, Amanda heard the faint voices of Ambrose and Merlin coming down the hall. Grabbing a torch off the wall, Amanda plunged into the darkness, and closed the door softly behind her.

* * *

Ambrose and Merlin were walking down the hall from the Round Table Room in deep conversation.

"It's seems bloody impossible that you could go out and find Lai like that Merlin," Ambrose said.

"I knew where she was. It was just the terms of getting there," replied Merlin.

"I'm glad my cousin isn't marrying Evelina any longer," commented Ambrose. Merlin smiled.

"He's doing the honorable thing. I believe he'll be a bit disappointed when he finds out Lai and Guinevere are two totally different people. But, who is this Lady Amanda who greeted Lai in such a kind manner?" asked Merlin. The smile that spread across Ambrose's face was also in his eyes.

"She is young Nicolarious's sister. I believe you buried their parents. She is a good friend of Arthur's," Ambrose answered.

"_That's _Amanda Marslyn?" Merlin asked, astonished.

"Yes, are you surprised?" Ambrose asked.

"Yes, she's changed so much. Grown, not older, but younger. Has she any lovers?" Merlin asked.

_Many,_ Ambrose thought, but he nodded instead.

"Edem," he answered.

"Then that explains it. She's finally felt love, after giving so much. I can see it in her eyes. And in someone else's," Merlin commented. Ambrose knitted his eyebrows and looked at the old man.

"Your cousins'. I saw it many years ago for Guinevere, and not so far back when he looked at this Lady Amanda. It's still there. Why didn't he marry her?" Merlin asked.

"That I cannot answer you Merlin," said Ambrose, "But, believe me, we're all asking the same question."

* * *

Amanda rushed down the tunnel, the light moving up and down with her steps. The tunnel sent chills down Amanda's spine, not only because it was cold; but because Amanda didn't know where it went. The birds chirping grew louder, but no light from the outside could be seen. Coming to a fork, Amanda stopped and looked around the tunnel. She could no longer see the door or any other exit from this dark place. Suddenly, something flew past Amanda's head, causing her to jump and yelp.

"Milady?" said a voice. Amanda froze, her back turned to whom ever it was that was speaking. Slowly Amanda turned around and saw Adonis Gregili staring at her. Amanda let out the breath she had been holding, and smiled slightly to him.

"You scared me Adonis," Amanda said.

"You scared me. I was walking the tunnel when I heard a cry," he said. Amanda smiled again and decided not to explain.

"I was frightened by something," Amanda said, not knowing what the thing was.

"Well, let me take you back to the palace," Adonis said.

"I know my way back," Amanda protested, keeping Arthur's advice in mind.

"You deny me the pleasure of your company?" he asked back, his gold eyes looking sorrowful and his face forlorn.

"Please Adonis, take me back. I might get lost," Amanda gave in.

_Arthur is going to be furious with you! All of them! They told you to stay away and here you two are in the middle of a tunnel together! Smooth Amanda. Wait 'til Arthur finds out, _she thought as she took Adonis's arm; if_ he finds out._

Adonis escorted Amanda back to the door without conversing, and Amanda welcomed the silence. When they reached the door, Amanda released Adonis's arm and opened the door.

"What frightened you was a bird milady," he said, "They fly in here to nest and get caught forever. Like many people who wander about somewhere they don't know, looking for something they can't find. By the way milady, I must compliment you on that stunning ring. It suits you very well. A present from an admirer no doubt. Good evening." With that, he left, Amanda more confused than when she entered. She watched him and the light for the torch fade away, and then disappear all together when he turned sharply to the left. Amanda opened the door wide enough for her to escape, and she eagerly left the hall.

She headed back to the library, Evelina and what Adonis said buzzing in her mind.

"Amanda," called someone. Amanda turned to see Arthur walking after her.

"Yes Arthur?" Amanda asked, stopping in her tracks.

"Have you seen Evelina?" he asked. The general concern in his eyes told Amanda to do what she did next.

"No sir," she replied casually, and turned to keep walking.

"What do you think of Lai?" he asked. Amanda stopped and turned again. Arthur was standing in a position Amanda had never seen him in. He was turned slightly away from her, as if afraid of what she'd say. His head hung, as if her untold opinion was some bad news. His eyes searched the floor, but he was searching himself. Why was he standing like this? Amanda walked to him, doing what he had done so often to her. Placing her hand on his chin, she tilted his head up from the floor. Amanda smiled as warmly as she could, and held his gaze softly.

"She seems lovely. I don't know much, but she is very poised and graceful. Quiet, but not simple. She's a suitable match for you my friend," Amanda answered. And she meant it. Lai could help Arthur rule this country in a way no one else could. She could bring so much to him, and him so much to her. Arthur smiled, but his eyes lied.

"She's nothing like her sister," he commented.

"Did you expect her to be?" Amanda asked. He should know by now not many siblings are alike.

"Well, yes. They are both related, and have gone through many similar things. Why wouldn't she be like Guinevere?" Arthur asked. Amanda raised her eyebrows.

"Arthur, do you think Nicolarious and I are alike?" Amanda asked.

"Well, no. But you're a woman, and he's a boy. You're totally different," he answered.

"But Nicolarious and I are related, and have gone through many things together," Amanda said, putting her hands on her hips, and shifting all her weight onto her left leg. She caught Arthur looking her up and down, but disregarded it.

"But he's a boy. Boys live differently than girls do," Arthur said. Amanda sighed, trying to remember the story her father told her of the brave Guinevere.

"But was Lai kidnapped and tortured by priests in an honest hell hole?" Amanda challenged. Arthur's face immediately went strict. Amanda knew she had hit a nerve. She closed her eyes and did not wish for a repeat of two weeks ago.

"Arthur I didn't mean to bring it up. I know what Guinevere means to you. I was just saying that since Lai wasn't, she wouldn't be a strong as Guinevere because she didn't have to endure such horrors. I didn't mean anything disrespectful. I-" Arthur held up his hand.

"I know you didn't. The thought of that time brings back memories of more than just Guinevere. Ones you could not know. Don't worry, I understand what you mean by it," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"It brings back memories of Lancelot and Dagonet?" Amanda asked innocently. She knew she was probably right, but she had t make sure.

"Who told you of them?" Arthur asked.

"Gawain," Amanda answered. The sound of footsteps behind Arthur made both of them turn. Lai revealed herself with a smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I was just told to fetch you You're Highness," she said sweetly. Arthur smiled.

"Please," he said walking to her and placing a hand on her cheek, "call me Arthur."

Green is not Amanda's color.


	14. Ceremonial Honor

Chapter 14: Ceremonial Honor

Disclaimer: Read former chapters' disclaimer, nothing has changed.

**_READ ME:_** Thanks for the reviews, and I'm itching to write this so I'll get a jump on it. I also have a question for you all. I'm thinking about writing a fanfic about Harry Potter, only it'll be _way_ different. Do you think I should? Answer with your reviews. Enjoy!

* * *

Amanda went to bed that night feuding with herself over Lai's arrival. She fought her way into a light sleep, tossing and turning all night. The next morning, she woke up in disarray, her head where her feet should be, and her feet not even on her bed. She sat up and turned herself around. Amanda buried her head in her sheets. Sighing heavily she sat there for a time until her heard a knock on her door.

"Who is it?" she called, even though the door was wide open.

"Lai," she answered. Amanda sat up and looked to her doorway. Lai was there smiling. Her hair was let down, and it went past her waste. Amanda looked at it jealously; it reminded that her hair only went down to her upper back. But Amanda forced a smile, and reminded herself that it wasn't Lai she was angry at, it was Merlin.

"What can I do for you Lai?" Amanda asked.

"I wanted to thank you for welcoming me so warmly last night. I had a feeling I would be rejected by all but Arthur. I was glad to find another who welcomed me," she said, walking in.

"Oh, don't take it the wrong way. I was only happy you were here because I want the best for Arthur. I don't know how much you know, but Evelina wasn't exactly his best choice. I have a feeling you will be much more suitable for a Queen. Until you get to know me, don't mind my doings. Most of them are without intention," Amanda said this last part under her breath, more to herself than Lai. When she looked up however, Lai was smiling like she had heard. Amanda smiled, and tilted her head slightly, looking at Lai.

"Well, Arthur told me all about you last night, and your brother. I think I'm going to like you Lady Amanda," she said. Amanda winced at the title.

"What you've heard from Arthur must be lies," Amanda joked. Lai's face went strict.

"The King is no liar, Lady Amanda," Lai said forcefully.

"Oh, no! I was just joking," Amanda said correcting herself.

_Alright, not a joker then,_ Amanda thought.

"Lying is not something to joke about," Lai said.

_No jokes at all,_ Amanda thought. Amanda looked at her, her head cocked to the side.

"What?" Lai asked.

"I was just thinking of how hard it must have been for you," Amanda answered.

"How hard what must have been?" Lai asked.

"Just leaving your life and coming to a foreign place to marry a King you don't know," Amanda answered. She couldn't imagine doing it herself.

"You have no idea," Lai said.

"You can tell me anything Lai. I do not lie about that," Amanda promised her. Lai looked at her for several long moments, and then walked over and sat on the bed.

"To tell you the truth, I do not want to marry Arthur," Lai said. Amanda nodded.

"I understand that. I wouldn't want to either. He's a stranger, and he was your sisters' husband," Amanda said. Lai nodded.

"Guinevere and I are about as different as two siblings can be. She was always the brave, strong, forceful, witty one. I keep to myself and let whatever's meant to happen, happen. Arthur and I will not get along. But, I have to marry him, it's our law," Lai said. Tears brimmed in her eyes and Amanda placed a hand on hers.

"What is it?" Amanda asked. Lai looked at her, her brown eyes the color of mahogany.

"I'm in love with someone else Amanda," she said, a clear tear rolling down her cheek. Amanda nodded, seeing how it would be hard for this girl to come and not have another lover.

"I'll never forget the look in his eyes when Merlin told us I was to marry Arthur. He was so hurt. I didn't know how I could live with myself," Lai said. Amanda placed her hand on Lai's shoulder and rubbed it in a small circular motion.

"But you love your sister as well. Lovers come and go, but family lasts forever. You're doing the honorable thing Lai. Once your lover realizes that, he'll be able to move on and forgive you," Amanda said. Lai nodded and brushed away her tears.

"Speaking of honor," she said, "I've come to ask you a question. Since you are my only other friend in this place, I was wondering if you would mind being my matron of honor."

"Maid," Amanda corrected.

"You're not wed?" Lai asked, appearing almost astounded.

"No," Amanda answered.

"But the ring on your finger. I thought surely you would be married with a ring like that," Lai said. Amanda looked down at the Sapphire ring on her finger and thought it did look like a wedding ring. What were Mysterious' intentions?

"It's not," Amanda said with a tone of finality, "and I'd be more than happy to be your maid of honor." Lai smiled and dismissed herself from the room, leaving Amanda to wonder about the ring. Finally climbing out of bed, Amanda went to her desk and grabbed a piece of parchment and began writing.

_This ring you've given me has been mistaken for a wedding ring, which has gotten me thinking about your intentions behind this ring. May I ask why you chose to give me a ring? _

Amanda re-read the note, and then rolled it up and left it by her table. Changing quickly and brushing her hair, Amanda then went down to breakfast.

When she got there, Amanda silently took her seat next to Gawain and Nicolarious. They smiled their good mornings and Amanda smiled. She looked up as Jols placed her plate in front of her, searching for Lai. She looked next to Arthur, and found him staring at her, with a very cross expression on his face. Amanda furrowed her brow at him, and he shook his head, returning to a letter he had in his hand.

* * *

When breakfast ended, Amanda stayed behind to talk to Arthur. When he noticed, he looked up at her with a forced smile.

"What's wrong Arthur?" Amanda asked him, taking Lai's new seat next to him.

"Nothing," he said.

"Oh stop it," Amanda said.

"Stop what? I'm not doing anything," Arthur asked. Amanda raised an eyebrow at him.

"You sit here, looking at me as if I just told the Saxons some secret and, and you've been doing it all morning! Tell me what's wrong before we have a repeat of the last two weeks!"

"Why didn't tell that Lai came to you this morning?" he asked. Amanda's mouth opened in disbelief.

"Because it happened this morning! Besides, you really think that she's comfortable with coming here and marrying a stranger? Look at her! She's beautiful! You didn't think that she came here without a lover did you?" Amanda asked. Arthur shook his head in disbelief. Amanda threw her hands up in exasperation and left the room.

"Amanda!" cried a familiar voice. Amanda turned to see Caia walking towards her with Ambrose at her side.

"I've never been happier to see the both of you," Amanda sighed, "Ambrose; can you not talk some sense into your cousin? I talked to Lai this morning, and he's breathing down my neck about why I didn't tell him. I simply cannot communicate with him of late!" Amanda placed her hands over her face, and she felt a strong arm go around her shoulder. She breathed deeply, and then removed her hands.

"Does it ever occur to you that you two act like an old married couple?" Ambrose teased. Amanda laughed, to her own surprise and pushed Ambrose away with a force that surprised him.

"You are quite strong milady," he said.

"I am indeed," Amanda replied.

"You should see her run," chimed in Gawain, who happened to be passing them in the hallway. Amanda laughed and Ambrose smiled widely.

"Yes, you said that you could outrun Arthur and I any day," he said. Amanda raised her eyebrows to the challenge. Ambrose gestured in the direction of the courtyard and the three walked out there.

When they got there, Amanda and Ambrose took her mark at the far wall.

"Now," said Caia, "the rules. No tripping, pushing, or holding. You are to run from here to the opposite wall and back, where I shall determine the winner, understood?" Amanda and Ambrose nodded, and Caia took he place in between them.

"On ready, be set, and GO!" she cried, and Amanda and Ambrose were off like the speed of light. Ambrose had the lead at first, and held it for half the way across the courtyard, but Amanda focused her mind on winning, and her legs went faster, and faster, until she gained the lead, and was bounding away from the wall before Ambrose even touched it. Amanda beat him back to the wall, a whole ten strides ahead. She laughed when she finished, but they came out in random bursts while she tried to catch her breath. Ambrose came over to her and shook her hand before bending over, hands on knees, breathing deeply.

"No," Amanda said, breathing hard, walking over to him and pulling him up, "you have to stay up to get more air. Put your hands above your head too." Ambrose chuckled and did as she said. Caia pat Ambrose on his back, and walked over to Amanda. Amanda caught him watching Caia walk away from him, a sparkle in his eyes. Amanda smiled, and let herself fall to the ground, her chest steadily rising and falling. Suddenly, from behind her, a loud, but singular, applause could be heard. Amanda sat up and turned around to see Arthur applauding. She shook her head with a smile and lay back down.

"Nice try Ambrose, but I could have told you that you would lose," he said. Ambrose laughed.

"I think you did," Ambrose said, "but I didn't believe it." Arthur came into Amanda's vision and he smiled down at her.

"Good run?" he asked.

"Yes," Amanda answered, "he's no easy win." Amanda smiled up at Arthur, who smiled back down. His head blocked the suns rays, and his brown curls were illuminated in the light.

"How would have you know that I'd lose?" Ambrose asked.

"I've lost to her before. And we both know I'm the faster runner," Arthur said. Amanda laughed, but Ambrose was prepared.

"But I'm the better looking," he said. Amanda laughed louder and clapped.

"I see you have in fact grown up with this man. I feel sorry for you," Amanda said. It was Ambrose's turn to laugh.

"Ah," said Arthur, "but do I feel for Nicolarious!" Amanda sat up.

"Well, I feel, the one time in my life, for Evelina!"

"And I do, for the one time in _my _life, for Edem," Arthur said back.

"And I most certainly feel for Lai," Amanda retorted. Arthur chuckled and held up his open palms. Amanda rose and walked around for a bit, stretching out her legs.

"Want to run again?" Arthur offered. Amanda's eyebrows rose.

"You want to race me even though you know the out come?" Amanda asked. She heard Ambrose snigger and Arthur crossed to her.

"No one knows the out come unless it's done," he said. Amanda shrugged.

"It matters not to me," she said. They took their places at the wall and Caia sent them off. Arthur had the lead as usual, and Amanda refocused her energy. To her surprise, Arthur was harder to pass, and she just barely did so when they met the wall. She touched first, but his motion skills being better he was with her again as soon as he changed direction. He and Amanda staid tied neck and neck just before the finish when Amanda used the last of her power and touched the wall first.

"WINNER!" Caia cried, holding up Amanda hand. When she let go, Amanda sank down the wall and closed her eyes, breathing hard shallow breaths. She and Arthur were in this state for a few minuets, but then they could breath easier again.

"Amazing race Your Excellency," Amanda said. Arthur smiled and bowed.

"As to you milady," he said. Amanda blushed, and was thankful for her beat red face.

_He called me milady,_ Amanda thought to herself, _he's never called me that before._ Amanda shook it off when she saw Lai walking towards the group, a smile on her face. Arthur saw that Amanda was looking at something else and he turned to see his bride-to-be.

"Ah," Arthur said, "Lai and I decided that we'll marry in three weeks time." Amanda pulled herself up, and cracked her back. Lai smiled at her, and Amanda smiled back.

"Has anyone seen Nicolarious today?" Amanda asked.

"No," Ambrose replied, and the rest shook their heads. Amanda shook her head, and excused herself, heading to the library. The day was humid and Amanda's hair frizzed out all the way to its ends. The sun beat steadily down on the city, the moisture seeming relentless and ruthless. But Amanda hurried along, not pausing for a moment. She wanted to see how her brother was feeling, if his legs were any better. A few days earlier he had managed to move his calves back and forth a bit. Though only for a few moments, it had definitely happened. Amanda had, of course, been the most excited, but the Caretaker was furious. He told Amanda to stop getting Nicolarious's hopes up, because it was more than likely not going to happen. But it did, and Amanda refused to give up. She reached the library and entered, knowing Nicolarious and Gawain would be in here this time of day for lessons. The two had more books on the tables than on the shelves. They both had their heads back, eyes closed, resting. Amanda came up behind Nicolarious and ran her hands through his curls. He opened his eyes slowly, and smiled at his sister.

"I was hoping that was you," he said. Amanda smiled and ran her fingers through his curls again and kissed his forehead.

"Do I get one?" Gawain whined. Amanda and Nicolarious laughed while Gawain pouted.

"No," Amanda said, "not today." Gawain shook his head and sighed.

"Maybe you should go give Arthur one," he said. Amanda rolled her eyes, and walked over to smack him. Gawain caught her wrist and looked at her.

"You can't hide it Amanda. We know you like him," Gawain said.

"I do like him," Amanda said, "as a person, my king, and my friend. That it is all. Besides, Lai is the one he'll be kissing nowadays." Gawain made a face and Amanda rolled her eyes again.

"What?" he asked, "She'll destroy him!"

"She's a sweet, kind, caring, _smart_, person Gawain. The last thing she'll do is destroy him!" Amanda argued, sitting next to her brother.

"Still," Gawain continued, "she's not the type he needs at his side. Ruling and affectionately."

"And what type of person should be at his side Gawain?" Amanda challenged.

"Someone who is smart, caring, and gentle," Gawain said.

"So far that's Lai," Amanda commented.

"Someone who is forceful and firm but not a tyrant. Someone who knows what the world is like. Someone who can get done what needs to be done, and things that don't need to be done done as well. A girl who will open up her arms to him for comfort and rejoice. Someone who will be just as passionate as he is about everything he does. Somebody who is just as much a leader as he. Somebody who can match him in his smarts, fire, and can be just as much as a pain in the ass as him," Gawain said. Amanda remembered what Gawain had told her the day they moved Nicolarious down to the Healers room. That description Gawain gave her for a woman for Arthur was the same as the one he gave her for a man she would love. And it was the truth, on her part anyway. Those qualities Gawain had listed in a man she'd love were ones she did want in a man. And Arthur possessed them all. She now knew what it was that kept drawing her to him again and again. She loved him. She had all along. It was impossible to deny. The feelings that she had gotten with him and without him were because she loved him. Amanda sat silent for a long time before Nicolarious shook her shoulder. Her hands had begun to shake and her body went cold.

"Yes," Amanda said, slowly returning from her daze, "those are all things Lai can give him. That I am sure of," Amanda said and left the room.

"What was that about?" Nicolarious asked when his sister had gone.

"She's finally realized it," Gawain said, a hint of sadness and disappointment in his voice.

* * *

A week later Amanda and Lai were in Lai's new room being fitted for their dresses. Amanda stood in the center of the room with an overly large piece of light pink cloth on. The seamstress was poking pins into her sides on 'accident' to get the shape of the dress and Amanda's body. The seamstress was a large woman, of a short build. She had the softest brown hair and most brilliant blue eyes, proving that she must have been quite the catch when she was younger. Amanda had small curves, unlike the seamstress once had and Caia. Amanda had an abnormally small bosom and oddly muscular everything else. Her body wasn't fat, it never was. She always was a skinny, lanky child. But as she grew, her face rounded a bit as her breasts did. However, keeping up with her brother had given her the body she now had, or so her mother said.

"Sorry the cloth is so big," said the seamstress, "I thought you might have picked a real woman. Not this _thing_." She spat the word as if it was a hornet in her mouth. It was true; Amanda's body was hard to work with. From her small chest, to her solid stomach, and her nothing but muscle legs, dresses never sat well on her unless a long time in the making. Her envy for Caia grew even larger. The seamstress silenced when she received a stern look from Lai. Amanda smiled to see that Lai had adapted well to her new powers, and began not to mind the seamstress.

After hours of standing still, the dress' form finally came out, looking beautiful. Lai and Amanda thanked the seamstress, who shot one last dirty look in Amanda's direction, making Amanda feel uncomfortable.

"Don't mind what she said. You have a beautiful figure," Lai said, sensing Amanda's discomfort.

"Thank you Lai," Amanda answered, and thankful she was.

"I have a question for you Amanda," Lai said.

"Anything," Amanda replied.

"From what you know," she started, "does Arthur often have mood swings?" Amanda chuckled.

"Why? Were you the victim of one?" Amanda asked. Lai nodded, "Yes Lai he does. When he is stressed he doesn't really know what to do with himself. He does lash out sometimes, but he never intends to. He'll apologize soon enough, when he realizes what he said it'll begin to bother him. What happened?"

"Oh, well he was reading some letter over and over again and I asked him what it was and he told me that just because I was marrying him didn't mean I needed to know what he was doing at every minuet of his life. He apologized to me yesterday, I just wanted to know if they happened often," Lai said.

"I see. Not often, but they happen. Usually I am the target, but don't take it personally," Amanda said. The two separated Amanda to her room and Lai to the throne room. When she got there, Amanda saw Anys eagerly waiting for her at her door. Amanda smiled at her maid and figured Anys had heard about Arthur and Lai.

"Some one is awfully happy," Amanda commented as she neared Anys. Instead of answering Anys stuck out her hand to reveal a rolled up piece of parchment in her hand.

"He stopped by this morning I think," Anys said as Amanda took the note from her maids' hand. She looked at Edem's closed door, and then opened her own, entering her room to read in private. Sitting at her vanity, Amanda untied the red ribbon the held the parchment closed and unraveled it.

_A ring seemed most suitable for you. _

_Do you not like it? _

_Would you have preferred something else? _

_M._

"He knows we call him Mysterious Anys," Amanda said. Anys raised her eyebrows and laughed with pleasure. Amanda thought for a moment and then picked up a new piece of parchment.

_Mysterious,_

_It's not that I dislike this masterful creation; I simply was wondering why you chose to give me a ring. Flowers would have been fine._

_I have another important question to ask you:_

**_Who are you?_**

Amanda bolded her last letters with extra ink, and re-read it while it dried. Then, she rolled it up and tied it with the same ribbon Mysterious had tied his note with. Smiling to herself, Amanda handed the note to Anys, and Anys happily ran off to send it. Amanda turned back to her reflection and stared. Her eyes wandered up from her stomach, lingering there for a moment before she passed on to her hair, that was frizzing to no end, and then finally to her face. She looked at her round chin, and her cheeks. Then, at her pink lips, and then at her small nose. And lastly, at her eyes. Her dark blue watery eyes. Her mother had called them Eden eyes, like in the Bible. Not only because of their color, but because of how she saw things. Amanda could hear her mothers' voice now.

"You see the world for what it is, and still love it. You find the time to care and love and be kind to people and places and things that would turn their backs on you in the blink of a careless eye. That's why your eyes are the way they are Amanda, and you work hard to keep them that way," her mother had said to her. Whatever that meant. What was really on her mind was Arthur. Her heart beat sped up and she instantly thought of Lai. She liked Lai, she really did. She was a genuine girl, and Amanda tried to tell herself that this was what God wanted. It's what Arthur wanted...

* * *

Arthur sat in the library thinking about Lai. He was in armor for the wedding. His face was clean and impeccably shaved. At first he was happy, to have a woman at his side again. Someone he liked, and someone he knew would help him rule. Someone who he could grow to possibly love like he had loved Guinevere. Someone he could love like he loved Amanda. That's when he sank into a chair and put his head in his hands.

"God," he began in a whisper, "have you not tested me enough to know that my faith has never wavered? You have put me threw dear loss, and cheap gain. Why again? Do you send her as a favor, and a hopeful? Or do you send her so I can know who it is I truly love? Even still, I could never marry her as long as Lai is here. It's my duty to marry Lai, as is hers to marry mine. But I know she doesn't love me! And I know I do not love her. Why put two of your creations into nothingness so that they can suffer as well as the one she loves? I just do not understand!" Arthur cried. He paused for a long time before he prayed again, "If you want this to succeed I ask that you help me find the feelings for Lai as I have for her. And, more importantly, find her someone who can hold her, and comfort her. Someone who will prize her and make her happy. Someone to love her as I have wanted to. If you can do this I will repay you for the rest of my life."

"Your Grace?" asked Kylian from the doorway. Arthur looked up and smiled at his advisor.

"You and Gurshion were right Kylian. Amanda should have been sent away a long time ago," Arthur said. Kylian laughed.

"I am disagreeing with you as you did with us. Amanda has helped you through many minor things. She has always been a friend to you Your Majesty. And do not fret, she'll find someone to love her," Kylian replied. Arthur stood and confronted his advisor.

"I know Kylian," he said, "I just wish it could be me."

"It could have been Your Highness," said Kylian, "but, to be frank, you let the opportunity slip from your fingers. More than once." Arthur nodded and they left for the church.

* * *

Amanda was in her room the morning of the wedding, and it was a horrible day outside. It was raining, and being the first Sunday in September, the fall was making an early appearance in weather. She slipped her dress on over her head, hoping not to ruin her hair. The side pieces above her hair were twisted back and tied, with small diamond clips Anys somehow managed to "find". Amanda heard a knock at her door, and she took one last look in the mirror. She smiled, feeling pretty, and answered the door. Standing there, looking very handsome was Edem. He gasped at the sight of Amanda, and she panicked.

"What? Is there something wrong with it?" Amanda asked.

"No my love. It's just that I've never seen you more beautiful," he said truthfully. Amanda smiled and took his arm.

"Let's go Prince Charming," Amanda said.

* * *

When everyone was seated in the church, all of them looking their best, even the peasants had scrubbed off their hard working hands and faces. This was the biggest event in the whole of Briton. And all the whispers were that Amanda should be the one in the white dress, not Lai. But, Amanda had never seen a more beautiful woman than Lai was on that day. Even though she didn't love Arthur, she had come to respect and like him. Amanda saw the potential for Lai's feelings to grow into a true and honest love for Arthur, and she hoped Arthur would feel the same. Lai had a natural glow of excitement and happiness as any bride should. The music started and Amanda was handed her flowers. Before she was sent off down the aisle, she turned back to Lai.

"I've never seen anyone look more radiant and beautiful than you are at this moment. Your sister would be proud of you," she whispered as a maid tapped her impatiently on the arm to go. Amanda turned back, not waiting to see Lai's expression, and headed down off the aisle. There he was, standing next to Ambrose by the altar. He was looking right at her, his green eyes beckoning. She tried to avert her eyes away, but they kept going back to him. Back to his face, his beautiful, loving face. A face that she would now never have.

"That's the girl he should be with. Look at her, this new witch has asked her to be the maid of honor. Of course, she's too sweet to say no. Poor thing, the man of her dreams being ripped out from right under her," a woman said to her side. Amanda's heart beat began to slow down. What the woman said was so true. He was being snatched away and Amanda had wasted her time. She had known it before, but never like this. All hope was lost.

"She's doing her ceremonial honor," said the man the woman had been speaking to. Amanda gulped and tried to maintain a happy, blissful expression. Soon she neared the altar and took her position. She looked over at Arthur and smiled a warm, rejoicing smile. He smiled back, the happiest she'd seen him in a while. Then, the two turned back to face the approaching Lai. He turned and smiled to his duty. Amanda turned to do her ceremonial honor.


	15. Blasted Merriment

Chapter 15: Blasted Merriment

Disclaimer: I do not own Arthur or his Knights, and I most certainly don't own Camelot or anything from the movie. I do own Amanda, Ambrose, Lai, Evelina, Caia, Kylian, Nicolarious, and all those I might have forgotten that are unrelated to the original telling of this tale.

Note: I know, I know, it's been a really long time since I've updated, but I'm making sure this is a good chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

The reception for Lai and Arthur was going smoothly until Amanda took a seat by herself. Everyone else was dancing and having a merry time for themselves while Amanda sat to take a break. A pretty little thing had a hold of Edem, but she didn't really mind. Arthur and Lai were dancing, and Nicolarious was sitting towards the edge, listening to some story of Gawains, laughing heartily. Amanda picked up her goblet of wine and took a sip. The drink tasted sour in her mouth, but she was so thirsty from hours of joy. She glanced at Arthur again, and how happy he was. She took another swig from her glass. She stared at Lai, her white gown swaying with the movement of her delicate little body. Amanda swallowed again, the alcohol tasting bittersweet inside her mouth. The false warmth from the drink slid down into Amanda's belly, making that unusual satisfied feeling flow quickly through her veins. Her eyes searched again for Lai on the floor, but they did not find them. Arthur had pulled Lai aside, and she was glowing as he whispered something in her ear. Amanda turned herself away from the agony.

_In love with someone else, _Amanda thought angrily, _that whore. She was just using me to get to him. What a lowly, useless.._.

"Amanda," said a firm voice from behind her, "what are you doing?" Amanda turned to see Ambrose standing there, Galahad behind him. Galahad placed his hand on her glass, and started to pull away. Amanda's grip tightened on the cool material, but was forced to let go.

"I'm thinking Ambrose," she replied.

"About?" Galahad chimed in.

"What do you think?" Amanda whispered. She hunched her back a bit more and remember what happened only a moment ago:

"I cannot thank you enough for doing what you did for me," Lai said in Amanda's ear as they embraced.

"Nonsense," Amanda said, pulling away, "now go be with your husband."

_And leave me to rot here,_ Amanda added silently.

"Well, actually, he wants to dance with you this next song, if you wouldn't mind," Lai said. Amanda looked at Arthur across the room. He stood casually, his arms folded over his chest. Any other passer-by would have seen him, and noticed his extraordinary smile, his beaming at Lai, but his eyes were there at Amanda's before she had even looked.

"I don't think it's me that'll mind, my dear. Do _you_ mind?" Amanda asked, trying to remain polite and friendly. Lai shrugged and waved a graceful hand to her side.

"I care not, go and dance. I need to go to my room for a moment anyway," Lai answered. Amanda smiled and Lai took her leave. However, Amanda wasn't going to walk across the room to Arthur, he would have to come get her himself. She took an empty chair along the wall, and looked around the room. She glanced at him every so often, and he was always looking at her. The girls around her soon noticed the stare of their King, and a few giggles could be heard near-by. Amanda remained indifferent to him, and the girls, even when they began telling her that he was watching. None of them realized that she was in fact the "Goddess of Camelot, Ensnarer of the Senses". Amanda smiled at her own thoughts, and then looked back to Arthur. He held her gaze for a few moments, and then glanced at the dancing crowd, and then back again. Amanda made a small shrug, and the girls giggled once more. Arthur smiled to himself and disappeared into the sea of wedding guests.

"How dare you do that with the King," scolded one elderly woman.

"He is not but a friend, my good lady," Amanda corrected.

"But he is still a married man," argued the woman.

"And his wife is like a sister to me," Amanda snapped, the effects of the drink starting to take their toll. Amanda leaned back into her chair as the woman and her few friends left in disgust. Gently crossing her legs at the knee, Amanda sat patiently. After a few minuets of waiting, Arthur appeared out of the crowd, his eyes sparkling. Amanda pasted a pleasant expression on her face, but did not smile back. He came closer and extended his hand. Amanda turned her head away, looking at another man as he walked by. Arthur sighed and went to her.

"May I have this dance milady?" he asked. Amanda pretended to think about it for a long moment, but then took his extended hand gracefully as she could manage.

"Of course my Lord," Amanda answered. Arthur smiled softly and he led her to the dancing crowd. He took Amanda's hand and hers went to his shoulder. His went to her waist, and a tingle flooded her body. She smiled wider as the music started and let him lead her slowly around in a circle.

"Pink is a very nice color on you Amanda," Arthur commented.

"Thank you," Amanda said, catching a glimpse at the woman she had spat with earlier. The woman was talking behind her hand to her friend, as her friend looked at Amanda out of the corner of her judgmental eye.

"You mustn't mind them," Arthur said quietly. Amanda shot her head back at Arthur, who smiled at her.

"I don't," Amanda lied, looking at him, trying to keep a cool, controlled complexion.

"Very good Amanda," he said sarcastically.

"What?" she asked.

"Had it not been for the sudden red in your cheeks I never would have known you were lying to me. I am deeply scared. How dare you lie to me," he said.

_It's not the first time,_ Amanda thought to herself.

"I apologize," she said quickly, which somehow made Arthur laughed. Amanda rolled her eyes, and noticed his grip get tighter on her hand. The song dissipated to its end, and Arthur took Amanda away off the floor when they'd finished their curtsying and bowing. Amanda and Arthur saw Lai enter at the far end of the hall, immediately surrounded by a group of strangers to her. Amanda chuckled and turned back to Arthur, who at the moment was infatuated with his new bride.

"I am proud of you Arthur," Amanda said causally, dieing to see his expression. He looked at her at first shocked, then skeptically.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because, you are no longer wallowing," Amanda said with a caring smile. Arthur smiled in the same manner, and looked once again at Lai; only in a different way. He no longer looked at her affectionately but proudly. As if he was her accomplishment. Amanda looked at her, and back at him, and began to walk away.

"Thank you Amanda," he said.

"Oh God, for what?" she asked.

"For loving her as your own," he said. Amanda kept her back turned on him, and she continued to walk away.

_For loving her as my own?_ Amanda asked herself repeatedly. She had done no such thing. She looked over her shoulder at Arthur, but knew that he wouldn't be looking at her.

And so she slunk back to the table and poured herself a glass of ale, possibly embracing her worst enemy, but best friend at the same time. However, she was only one glass into her own blasted merriment before interrupted by Ambrose and Galahad.

"What can I help you with gentlemen, because if there isn't anything, I have business to attend –" but she was interrupted, as were all at that moment; for there was a loud bang at the front of the hall and a petrified scream. And automatically, the sea of people parted, as if it was Moses himself.

"Arthur! He's done it again! Oh Arthur!" cried the once musical voice of Amanda's former problem. Her auburn curls seemed no longer full of life, but mangled and ratty. Her face was dirty and no longer beautiful. Only her eyes remained the same as Amanda remembered them. Cold and full of trickery. Amanda rose, and Arthur came to the center of the floor.

"Who has done what?" Arthur asked in more gentle voice than Amanda expected.

"Adonis," she cried, and Arthur's face immediately went strict. He looked up down the hall, and then at Lai, to his scattered knights, and to his cousin. Lastly, he looked at Amanda, and he darted her eyes away.

"Come with me," he said to Evelina, taking her arm and leading her away. He glanced at Lai to stay there, and his Knights and cousin followed after him. Amanda looked at Lai, appearing helpless. As soon as the doors shut, the guests started asking questions, and Amanda knew they would eventually reached Lai, and that could get ugly. Taking action, Amanda walked up beside her and clapped her hands as loud as she could manage. Eventually, all were listening to her.

"We apologize for the interruption but I'm afraid I must ask you to leave through this door here. Do not make this a hassle, please, and thank you all for coming!" she shouted. The sighs and groans from unhappy people erupted as they filed to the doors.

"Lai, go say goodbye," Amanda ordered her, pointing to the door.

"Where are you going?" Lai asked.

"To find out what the hell is going on," Amanda said.


	16. Vicious Intake

Chapter 16: Vicious Intake

Disclaimer: Same stuff.

Notes: I laugh at you. God forgive me. :)

* * *

Amanda left Lai by herself in order to do exactly as she said. She eventually found them in the Round Table Room, hoping that it hadn't escalated into anything yet. She entered determined and unforgiving. Evelina gave her a nasty, gnarled look before returning to her plate. She ate ravenously and it made Amanda want to be sick. She crossed over to Gawain, whom she figured knew nothing about what Ambrose and Galahad saw.

"Don't cause any trouble," he said, and left, nodding to Arthur. Amanda looked at him for a moment, and then around the rest of the room.

"Where are the rest of them?" Arthur replied. He suddenly became alert and he huffed.

"Where is Lai?" he asked, heading for the door.

"Saying goodbye to the guests. I had them leave. She should be along in a bit Arthur," Amanda answered. Arthur shook his head left, leaving Amanda and Evelina alone once again. Amanda took a stance in front of the door, and patiently watched the demon eat.

"What are you staring at?" Evelina asked when she finished.

"Not much really. Not anything important anyway," Amanda answered. Evelina shot up, but regained her once arrogantly regal composure.

"Really? Because I happen to be very important at the moment," she said.

"Not in my book," Amanda replied coldly.

"Just wait and see Amanda. Just you wait and see," she taunted.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Amanda asked.

"You see? I'm important to you now," she said. Amanda laughed at her.

"Just because I'm talking to you does, in no way, make you important to me," Amanda said plainly, "In fact, I would rather not talk to you. But I see this as the duty to my country to find out what is going on between you and Adonis." Evelinas' jaw dropped, but she collected herself.

"More than you think. With more people than you think," she gasped. Amanda smiled.

"So it's more than just you and Adonis. Let's see. Care to tell me more?" Amanda asked.

"No!" she said like a brat.

"I feel sorry for Adonis and whoever else that has to deal with you. I truly do," Amanda said, figuring out how to push her buttons.

"Well at least I got the man, for a while anyway," she spat at Amanda.

"You think that bothers me? I already had one, and still do," Amanda replied.

"You call that a man? I'd say he's more of a bratty whiner, wouldn't you?" Evelina asked.

"Funny, if you didn't say him, I would have thought you were talking about yourself," Amanda threw back at her.

"Don't you have something to be crying about?" she asked.

"Don't you have a little meeting in the woods to attend to?" Amanda asked, "Aye Evelina, I know all about your little trips. Your long nature walks, and the dark tunnel you so desperately cling to."

"You little-" but she broke off before advancing quickly, her arms outstretched, and a cry of fury mixed with frustration launched from deep within her lungs. Amanda dodged her, but barely. As Evelina stumbled forward, Amanda saw the opportunity to strike. She elbowed Evelina in the back, her anger welding within the bottomless pit called her soul. Evelina yelped, her head snapping back in pain. Amanda took a few cautious, yet angry steps away from the hunched form. Evelina straightened herself quicker than Amanda thought she would. Her mouth was fixed into a crooked grin, and Amanda waited for her move. Evelina went at her once again, and Amanda braced herself. She gave Evelina a ferocious blow to the jaw, her body following the application of the force. Evelina came back with a punch as well, hitting Amanda on the cheekbone. It had a surprising sting with it. Amanda regained her posture, and she let the too-long caged beast inside her run free. She took three steps to Evelina, that's all it took, before she released a vivid blow into her right eye. She'd never forget the look of cowardice on Evelinas' face. But she wasn't expecting what came next; a hard fist was jammed into her mouth, the taste of fresh blood seeped to her mouth, and floated around her teeth. And that did it; Amanda's body tensed up, and she seemed to lose control of her body. Her arm went back, and then shot forward, hitting Evelina dead on in the nose. Her scream rang through the entire world, and she almost hit her head on the table. She staggered onto the ground, her hand turning a bloodied mess. Amanda wiped her mouth, the red stain appearing on the sleeve of her dress.

"What the hell!" cried a familiar voice. Amanda looked up, seeing Edem in front of her.

"She..she went after me," Amanda said in a somewhat hushed voice.

"So you punched her in the nose?" Edem asked, bewildered, looking at the crying Evelina.

"Incase you haven't noticed Edem, I'm bleeding too, and was before she started," Amanda said harshly.

"What on Earth?" bellowed Arthur from the door. His eyes immediately went to Amandas', and she didn't back down.

"What did you do?" asked Galahad.

"She attacked me!" Evelina cried.

"You know damn well that you began this Evelina!" Amanda corrected fiercely, walking to Arthur, "she came at me Arthur, and she persisted."

"You broke her fucking nose!" chimed in Bors.

"For all I care, she deserves it!" Amanda shouted back. Evelina jumped up then, as if to continue where they left off. Amanda readied her arms, but Arthur grabbed her, and held her back.

"Gawain," he said forcefully, "get Evelina upstairs and get her attention. Edem, fetch the Caretaker. Galahad, find a free maid. Lai, please go with Edem. And for you," he hissed in her ear, "you and I are going to have the talk of your lifetime." When the others left, and Amanda was glared at, Arthur let her go, and pushed her into a chair. Amanda put her feet up on the table, as if to say 'I'm right and you know it', but Arthur shoved them off with such force, Amanda felt her knee crack. Her face set into stone and she glared at Arthur.

"Arthur, she brought it-" but he cut her off.

"Don't give me that Amanda, and take the daggers out of your eyes. What has gotten into you? You know that Evelina has valuable information for us-"

"Can you prove it?" Amanda asked, standing, her will unwavering.

"Why else would she come back here?" Arthur asked.

"Because she wants to ruin your life!" Amanda yelled, her hand extending to the door, eyes wide.

"Why are you so turned against her?" Arthur shot.

"Why are you so in love with her?" Amanda shot back.

"Why are you so determined to be right? Can you not accept the fact that you could be wrong? Why do you have to act on your emotion and not think things through-"

"Oh, look who is asking who that!" Amanda spat at him.

"You are so worried about being right that you let things escape your sight. You're worse than a blind man!" Arthur continued, as if nothing fazed him.

"Maybe I'm just taking after the greatest king of our time!" Amanda fought. All she wanted to do was hit him like she had Evelina. Why did he love her so? How could he be on her side?

"That was low Amanda, and you are sinking down to that level so fast, I'm afraid there's no saving you," he said after a long pause. Amanda huffed in anger, her jaw so tight, you'd think it was screwed so. Arthur walked out the door, and Amanda almost let him go. Almost. But she went out after him.

"I'm sorry if I offended the obvious love of your life," she shouted down the hall, "send her my apologies. And as for the great King Arthur of Briton, send him my condolences to his grave. I'd send flowers, but there seems to be none left for me to give. Not even flowers!"

He stopped, and turned only half way to her.

"She is not the love of my life Amanda, but at least she is not my greatest disappointment."

* * *

Oh, my wonderful reviewers, what shall thou write about this? 


	17. Last Beautiful Breath

Chapter 17: Last Beautiful Breath

Disclaimer: I, (fill in name here), in no way own any of the Knights of the Round Table that were affiliated with the movie King Arthur in any manner. Nor, do I wish too. (They're a lot to look after). I, (fill in name here), do however own all the characters not formerly invented, used, or personified in the movie King Arthur. They are my own creations and I am very proud of them. You may not use any of these characters with out my permission, and there is not a chance of that happening if you are not one of my trusted reviewers (ADDED BONUS:) ). The plot of this story, and it's predecessor, The Look of Hope, are my own, original masterpieces. (How do you like that jazz?)

Note: Authors thanks at the end.

* * *

It took a long time for Amanda to walk back up to her room. Her spinal cord seemed to me temporarily dislocated from her brain. She had heard what Arthur said; and it killed. It stung at her like a million bees. He literally ripped her heart out, and fed it to the hungry in the street. And now, if she had ever been jealous of Lai, today was the day. Her very blood must have been brown; red for her anger mixed with the green of her jealousy. As she took the last step up to the second floor, the scrape of her leather soled shoe against the harsh stone felt like the scrape of Arthur's words.

_There is no more hope,_ Amanda thought to herself, _he loves Lai, in the matter of a few days, he has fallen for her. And I am left to rot next to Evelina._

Her whole body hung as she headed to her room. Her head was down, her shoulders bent in, arms limp by her sides. She must have shrunk a half a foot. Leo's do not slump unless there is a reason to. She was so lost in thought she didn't even see the one who had been there for her in the last two years. He jumped up quickly, and silently when he saw her coming.

"Amanda," he whispered, "what's wrong?" Edem's hand went to her elbow, in a most comforting attempt. But, he failed.

"Leave me be Edem," Amanda said, in a barely audible whisper.

"Amanda-" he began, patience weaning.

"Please Edem, let me be," Amanda said again.

"No," he said strongly, "I'm sick of you pushing me away. Tell me what's wrong." He grabbed her upper arms, squaring her body to him, but it only lasted for an instant. That was Amanda's breaking point.

"Let go of me damn it!" Amanda yelled, pushing him with an astounding force he almost fell to the floor. "Can't you follow the crowd? If you're sick of me then go whisper behind my back with the rest of my former friends! Go now, or at least get out of my wayso I can ready myself to leave!" At first Edem was shocked, and then she saw it. His face set into stone like the floor they stood on, and his hands formed large fists.

"Fine!" he yelled, "I will. Maybe you'll learn," he said, opening the door to his own room.

"Oh and what lesson might that be?" Amanda asked bitterly.

"Not to take for granted what you already had. Maybe next time when you love a man, but string along another, you'll turn to the one who really loves you. Making that mistake more than once would show just how blind you truly are," he said, and slammed the door in her face. But, to Amanda, it felt like the door had actually hit her. Her eyes closed, and her body dropped once again. He was right. All her life she had taken things for granted. Her father, her mother, Nicolarious, and now Edem. Why had it taken the voice of another to tell her that? She didn't even notice walking back to her room and rolling into bed. She didn't notice when she began crying, or when she stopped. All she noticed was that her life had been one huge mistake, and that there was no way to turn back time.

* * *

It took Amanda but a day to go through all her things and decide what to take and what to leave. She just grabbed all that she had brought to Camelot in the first place. She laid out all the dresses Arthur had gotten made for her on the bed. Anys had been removed from her job with Amanda and placed in the care of Evelina. As she looked at the dresses, she did not smile, and did not frown. Her face remained indifferent, and cold. However, when she reached the burgundy dress Mysterious gave her, she stopped, and looked at it. Her eyes darted to the dead Gardenia on her vanity, next to the notes he'd sent. With a sigh, she sat down at the desk for the last time. Picking up the quill, she began to scratch out her final note to the only one who still loved her.

_Dear Mysterious, _

_First, I would like to apologize for any trouble, hurt, anger, demise, or any other related misery I might have caused you. Like the others in this palace, I am not expecting you to be pleased when you read this, for, if you sway with the wind, you must hate me too. I would like to return the egg you gave me, and the beautiful ring as well. I sense that I am no longer an object of your affection, I'm sure you can give it to your next secret love._

_Second, I would like to thank you for all that you've done. You always brightened up my bad days, and it was much appreciated. I'm sure when you marry you will make any woman just as happy, and hopefully more._

_I now bid you farewell, good sir, and may many blessings be upon you. All those of prosperity, happiness, wealth, family, and whatever else brings you joy. Save love. Do not wish for love, good sir, for it is a two sided face. It always brings pain with it, and pain is not something I wish upon your wonderful soul._

_Until never again, for I am sure not even heaven will take me now. _

_Amanda Marslyn_

She blew on the parchment one final time to dry it before rolling it up and tying it with a black ribbon. Rising, she looked down at the ring on her finger, and put it back in the egg. She darted her blue eyes back at the burgundy dress, and decided it would be best to leave it. She needed no more reminding of this place. Tucking the chair in neatly, she pulled her sack over her shoulder and picked the egg up. She left the room to go a place she didn't want to.

As she headed to Evelina's room, her feet were quick and her step decisive. She reached it in no time. The door was open, and she saw Anys walking slowly out of the room.

"Anys!" Amanda called, trying to keep her voice level. Anys spun around, a wide smile on her face.

"Yes miss?" she asked, obviously happy to see Amanda. Amanda was pleased to see Anys as well, and she managed to put a smile on.

"Can you do one last thing for me?" Amanda asked.

"Anything," Anys answered, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Can you send these to Mysterious?" Amanda asked, holding up the scroll and egg. Anys looked sadly at the egg.

"You're sending it back?" she asked, rather like a disappointed child.

"I am. I see no need for it," Amanda commented rather solemnly. Anys hesitated for a few moments, and then took the objects from Amanda's hands.

"I will miss," Anys answered. Amanda stepped forward, and lifted the maids chin.

"Do not be sad, dear Anys. Good things are to come for you. And, if we should meet again, do not call me miss. You and I are equals, and my name is Amanda," she said to the girl, her lips forming a true smile. She was changed now, and saw no reason not to show it. Anys nodded, their understanding with each other now beyond words.

Amanda then headed down to Nicolarious' room, something she hadn't wanted to do. She knocked gently on the door, and he told her to come in.

"Goodbye Amanda," he said, in a tone of finality, almost as soon as she opened the door. Amanda sighed and knelt down before him. He wouldn't look at her, and she expected no more words to come from his mouth.

"Dear brother, I know I am now more than a disappointment to you. But, I just want you to know something before I go. You will never be a disappointment to this world. You are kind, generous, and wise beyond your years. Great things will come from you for this city, and this country. As long as you stick by what you say and don't run like I did. Always do what you mean and what you want. Unlike your selfish older sister, you do things for the good of others. And I'm sure from wherever I wind up going, I'll hear all about Nicolarious Marslyn, the gentleman from Camelot. Don't ever forget that. It's who you are. And if you lose sight of who you are, then there is no hope for any of us," she rose, and looked down at her brother. Her hand went to the side of his face one last time, ever so gently, and she blinked away oncoming emotion. "I love you, dear brother. Forgive me someday." With that said, Amanda let go of her brothers cheek, and stepped from the room. She inhaled deeply as she left, but knew her absence would bring no more than good. She then headed down the hall to the stables. As she neared the Round Table Room, her heart began to speed up. Suddenly, the door opened, and all of them, except Evelina who had still been sleeping, and Nicolarious who was in his room, emerged from their breakfast. Amanda stood strong, but stopped in her tracks. One by one they all looked at her. Bors looked at her with disappointed eyes, and Galahad looked at her with sad ones. Edem glanced at her for a moment, his eyes showing absolute anger. As Gawain exited her looked at Amanda and shook his head, his eyes showing hurt. Lai followed him, and she, being nothing but kindness, walked towards her, a smile on her face. Ambrose and Arthur walked out together, Ambroses' frame, being just like Arthurs' blocked Amanda's view of him. But she did not crane her neck to see certain piercing eyes.

* * *

Arthur and Ambrose walked out of the Round Table Room together, Arthur to the left. He saw Lai begin to walk the opposite direction, and he looked behind Ambrose just to see where she was going. Then he saw her; he saw Amanda. She stood tall and strong, but she wasn't walking. She was smart enough to not walk with them. She thought they didn't want anything to do with her anymore. He looked away, head down, eyes sad and breaking.

"Be strong Arthur," Ambrose said to him in an unsure manner.

"Something Lancelot would say," Arthur commented, more to himself than to his cousin, "Only he'd mean it, and not just say it." Ambrose looked away from his cousin.

"I know. I thought you were angry at her, not sad she'd be going," Ambrose said, his hands folding behind his back.

"Why would I be angry at her? I couldn't be angry at an angel," Arthur said, but his voice carried further than his cousins ears. He noticed Gawain tense, and Galahad lift his head. Even Bors heard him. As they rounded a corner, Gawain jerked around.

"So you've loved her all this time?" he asked, his eyes no longer hurt. All of them turned their attention to Arthur, like they had so often to Amanda. All waiting for the answer that defines them, that could change their lives. Arthur darted his green eyes around, not afraid but questioning, thinking.

* * *

Lai walked up to her, her brown eyes shinning, but sad looking at Amanda. Amanda looked back at her, her blue eyes mirroring the brown ones before her.

"Oh, dear Amanda," she said to her, voice soft and caring.

"Yes you're Majesty?" Amanda asked, a smile greeting her.

"Don't ever call me that. Friends never reserve titles for each other," Lai said, taking Amanda's hand and placing it under her arm, taking her in the direction of the stables.

"No, but they can stay angry at each other for a very long time," Amanda replied, her voice bittersweet.

"He is not mad at you my dear. None of them are," she said, patting Amanda's hand like a mother would.

"I beg to differ," Amanda said.

"Beg all you want, but he said himself. They all agreed this morning at breakfast," she said, looking at Amanda, trying to win her over.

"Then why have none of them come to stop me?" Amanda asked as they rounded the corner. Heading to the right, her eyes met Lai's. If there had been anyone else to the left of them, she never would have noticed the way Lai held her gaze.

"Am I not here?" Lai asked.

"Of course you are. But you're taking me to the stables," Amanda said back.

"Because I know there is no stopping you. None of them would have. Not even Arthur. Had he gotten down on his knees and begged you would still leave," Lai explained, her voice knowing, and sure.

_Not unless he told me what I've been dying to hear,_ Amanda thought.

"No, there is no stopping me," Amanda said, her blue eyes leaving Lai's and darting to the ground. Heaving a sigh, Lai squeezed her hand, and they walked on.

* * *

Arthur finally met Gawain's eyes and decided to answer.

"Of course I've loved her all this time. We all have. Who couldn't?" he asked back.

"You know what I'm asking Arthur. Have you loved her with all your heart? Does she fill you with pride being next to her? Do you think of her at every waking moment? Does your heart beat so fast when you feel her touch, you think you might die? When she was gone, were you so sad your world seemed never to light up? When you kissed Evelina, did you imagine Amanda in your arms instead? Are you amazed by her beauty, and astounded by her grace? Do you fill with joy when your name leaves your lips that you just want to scream out your undying and unmatched love? Have you seen her and only her? Do you, from the bottom of your royal soul, want to hold her and never-" Arthur interrupted him.

"Never ask me such a question again," he said, and walked off.

* * *

When Amanda and Lai reached the stables, her horse was all ready to go. The two turned to say their good byes.

"Farewell, sweet queen, and may you have a wonderful life," Amanda said, heading for her horse.

"Amanda," Lai said, "where will you go?" Amanda stopped in thought.

"Somewhere far away, where I can no longer disturb the peace of this beautiful place. I shall go somewhere that is already disturbed, and far away from you. Maybe I'll go back to Rome; yes," she concluded, "I shall return to Rome and stay until the end of my days."

"Why not stay here, under a roof and with people who do love you?" Lai asked, taking half a step towards Amanda.

"Yes Amanda," agreed a musical voice, "why not stay and cause the destruction of this kingdom?" Amanda turned slowly to see Evelina in the door way, her eyes glittering with a smirk.

"At least I'd be taking you and Adonis down with me," Amanda retorted, her mind sharp.

"Wouldn't that be a tragedy?" Evelina said, coming down the few wooden steps and entering the now trio.

"Ah, and all the people would cry in the streets," Amanda said, "cries of their unending joy." Evelina was about to break, one of her hands behind her back.

"The same will happen when you leave today," Evelina said, trying to take one lastjump at Amanda.

"I always know how to please a crowd," Amanda smiled, "more than you'll ever accomplish." That was when she snapped. She cried out, her eyes turning into crazed pools of anger. The arm behind her back revealed not just a fist, but one curled around a dagger. Amanda gasped, not having a weapon at her side. She reached for the knife on her horse, but it was tied down. Evelina's pace quickened, the distance between Amanda and she lessening every passing moment. Amanda began scrambling for the knife, her blue eyes turning into ice as she looked at Evelina. Evelina was close now, her arm raised above her head, ready to strike with a fatal blow. She tossed the blade up into the air in a smooth gesture, and moved it into a position to stab Amanda in the stomach, the most suffering one could give another. Just as she was about to bring it down upon Amanda, Lai reacted. She jumped in front of Amanda, her body shielding Amanda from the dagger. Amanda reached to push her away, but it was too late. The dagger connected with her skin, and plummeted right through her stomach. She doubled over in Amanda's arms, clutching at the dagger. Evelina backed up, smiling triumphantly, thinking she had gotten Amanda.

When she looked at the dieing Lai, she gasped, and looked up at Amanda.

"You've killed her!" Amanda exclaimed.

"No I didn't!" Evelina said.

"Help!" Amanda cried, her blue eyes wide in shock. Evelina backed away, almost stumbling. Her eyes were now wide with horror, and disbelief. Her mouth fell open and her breathing became ragged. Then she ran. She ran out the stable door into the city, and Amanda thought about going after her. Lai was still in her arms.

"Somebody!" she screamed. Her voice going shrill, "Help me!" Then, the stable man came in from the town, and looked at the scene.

"Oh my god," he breathed out.

"Help me!" Amanda said again, frightened tears streaming down her face. The man hesitated, but came forward and helped Amanda put Lai down on the floor.

"We need to get her inside!" Amanda cried, her heart racing. Lai's hand went up weakly and brushed Amanda's arm, getting her attention, "Lai, oh Lai! What has she done to you?"

"Nothing," Lai answered, her voice a rasp and forced.

_Even now she's strong,_ Amanda thought, angering at Evelina.

"Hold on Lai, we're going to take you inside," Amanda said to her.

"No Amanda," Lai protested, "it's no use." Amanda clutched her hand, praying she'd hold on.

"Lai, don't talk lie that," Amanda said, but stopped when she got a stern look from Lai. Her beautiful brow hair fanned out around her, and the lovely pink that was always in her cheeks began to fade away.

"Amanda, promise me something," Lai said.

"Anything Lai," Amanda promised her, blue eyes trying to blink away her never ending tears.

"Take care of him," she said, "Love him like you love all others. He does love you." Amanda tired to smile at Lai, and brought her hand to her lips. She kissed her blessed hand, and continued to cry. Lai managed one last smile, and her eyes slid away from Amandas, the grip from her hand loosening.

"No, Lai, stay here! Please don't leave me," Amanda cried.

"Promise me," Lai whispered.

"I promise, just hold on!" Amanda answered, her blue eyes now wide with fear. Lai finally looked up at the ceiling. Amanda clung to her hand, words escaping her lips that no longer meant anything to Lai. She took in her last breath, and her beautiful pink lips turned up one last time. And then she sighed, letting go her last beautiful breath.

* * *

I know, you hate me all now. REVIEW.

**Authors Thanks:** Thank you so much to my faithful three! Much love. **Tracy137:** Thanks so much for sticking with this makeshift story. I love reading your reviews, they mean so much to me. And yes, Arthur needs to stop being a stuffed shirt. :oD **the sarahnater:** I'm so happy you love my work. And I'm glad you comment on it always. Don't worry, I'll be updating more often now. And hint hint There'll be a big fight coming up soon:) **FFAMasquerade2005:** I love reading your reviews! You've always got something valuable in them, which as you know from being an author, can be all you need to get going again. I quite agree with the "men…" statement, I say it all the time.


	18. Angelically Doomed

Chapter 18: Angelically doomed

Disclaimer: Should you have read all former chapters, then you know what is usually put in here, and don't need to read this. If you haven't read the former chapters…**why are you starting here?**

Note: You all will hate me after this, but I had no other choice….If you all want a better understanding of a few of the characters, or just want more evidence that I'm actually a mediocre author, go to and look up the meaning of _my _characters names. (Except for Kylian, Nicolarious, and Gurshoin). Authors thanks at the end.

* * *

Amanda watched Lai take her last breath, and her body froze. Some time after Amanda froze, whether it was immediately or slightly delayed, the stable man had flown into the palace to find Arthur, leaving Amanda by herself. But Amanda didn't notice; she was too distraught to do anything. She finally let go of Lai's hand, and stroked the side of her soft face. The face that would no longer bear emotions, nor feel tender touch. She pulled down the lids of Lai's eyes, covering the magnificent mahogany iris' eternally. Amanda stroked her hair, the wonderfully waved brown hair that had once made Amanda so envious. She traced Lai's features, down her nose, and over her soft, pink lips. Then her hand found its way to the dagger. The poison that had maimed Lai from her rightful existence and pushed her from Earth. Amanda closed her eyes, and tightened the grip upon the hilt. Yanking her arm up, the dagger came free, and she opened her watering blue eyes. Looking down at the weapon, she furrowed her brow, and fought back more tears. Lai's perfect blood covered the blade. Wiping away the red with her free hand, Amanda was suddenly able to see herself in the blade. There, looking back at her from a speckled view was this thing. This crying, doubting, hurting thing that never should have came back.

"You never should have come," Amanda whispered to herself. Looking back down at Lai, her small frame heaved yet another sob. She had failed.

_Lai risked her life for you damn it! And look where you've taken her! You should have pushed her out of the way! _

"I couldn't."

_Yes, you could have Amanda. You have reflexes!_

"But Evelina-"

_Evelina wanted you, and you let Lai take the death! You're useless!_

"Useless," Amanda whispered to herself. And then, her train of thought was gone forever. The loud and sudden bang of wood meeting stone caused Amanda to snap her head up. Gawain stood in the door way, he looked at her.

"What are you still doing here?" he hissed.

"Trying to save a life," Amanda said back, wiping the tears from her face. Gawain looked around confused, and saw Lai.

"What the hell?" he said in disbelief. Then, Ambrose and Galahad came in behind him. They noticed Gawain and looked to where his eyes were. Galahad went white, and Ambrose caught his curse.

"What have you done?" Bors asked, Amanda hadn't even notice his bulky figure sneak in.

"I didn't do anything!" Amanda said. And then, it was like fate itself had finally come for Amanda.

"What is the matter?" his deep voice asked, obviously not comprehending the stable mans cries and why his knights and cousin were standing around in shock. Then, Amanda caught view of him, as he pushed past his friends. He came down the few wooden steps, and Amanda looked away from him. She didn't want to see his reaction.

"Good God," he said, and Amanda now had to look. His face was almost blank, except for the sheer terror in his eyes. Those brilliant green eyes; eyes that would never look the same. After several long moments of silence, he turned to Amanda, his face now a portrait of rage. He grabbed her arm, tighter than he had ever done. So tight, Amanda fought off a wince. He dragged her up the wooden steps, and those on them previously walked or jumped down them to get out of the way, and help Lai. When Arthur got Amanda into the palace, he shoved her against the wall, and this time Amanda couldn't fight off the gasp of pain. He put his hands above her shoulders, and only the distance of his extended arms separated the two. It was a position that was impossible for Amanda to get out of.

"Did you do this?" he bellowed in her face.

"No!" Amanda denied, looking at Arthurs neck, she couldn't look at him.

"Do you realize you are about to be charged with murder of the Queen, and killed?" he shouted.

"I didn't do it!" Amanda cried.

"Then who was it?" he asked.

"Evelina!" Amanda answered, her blue eyes angry, but not at Arthur. To her surprise, he began to laugh. His head dropped down, leaving her his curls to look at, but his hands stayed up.

"The woman you fought," he said, looking back up, making Amanda dart her eyes away again "and hate the most killed my wife?"

"Yes!" Amanda answered, unsure of what was coming next.

"And why would Evelina kill my wife?" he asked, his voice now soft but very bitter.

"She didn't want to kill Lai, she wanted to kill me. Lai jumped in the way to protect me, and got the dagger instead," Amanda answered softly, ashamed.

"I see," Arthur said sarcastically, "why should I believe you?"

"Because Evelina is a mean, lying, sneaky person," Amanda answered, truthfully.

"Really? Can you prove it?" he asked, and Amanda had a momentary lapse.

_No I can't prove it damn it, _Amanda thought quickly, _I'm done for. I'll be killed an innocent woman. Wait, I can prove it!_ Amanda remembered, and then realized the consequences, _He'll hate me forever. I lied to him. Well, he can't hate me anymore than he does now…God forgive me._

"Yes, I can," Amanda said quietly.

"Then please do," he said fiercely.

"Three times I know of Evelina doing something questionable and without your knowing. Once, I saw her go into the woods. Days later I saw her come back from the forest. Lastly, she went down a very dark tunnel in the palace, which I know leads to the outdoors," Amanda said, her voice shaking and hesitant.

"When did you see these things?" he asked, now curious and not so angry.

"The first I saw during the first week of my stay. The second when was Lai arrived, she had leaves in the back of her hair. The third was the last time any of us saw her, the night you agreed to marry Lai," Amanda said, closing her eyes with fear. She knew he was going to be so angry with her all she had to do was count the seconds before he exploded. The more there were, the angrier he would be. Amanda counted; eleven second passed before he spoke again.

"I asked you if you had seen her on two of these occurrences, didn't I?" he asked. It was the type of question he already knew the answer to, he just needed solid confirmation. All Amanda could do was nod.

"How dare you Amanda!" he yelled, and Amanda opened her eyes, "How could you lie to me? Do you lie to your friends on a regular basis? Do you lie to Gawain and Nicolarious? Where are your morals? I don't believe you!" He removed his hands from above her shoulders and clenched his fists, his knuckles turning white with the fury inside him. "Further more, I am your king! If anything you don't lie to the king! I can have you killed for high treason! You insolent little girl! I thought you were honorable, and smart! Not sneaky and stupid! How dare you do such a thing-" He raised his hand in anger, and for the first time Amanda looked up at him.

"Go ahead Arthur," she whispered, and he dropped his hand

"Now you have even worse chances of proving me your innocence," he said, ignoring her comment.

"I didn't kill Lai! Arthur, this is what happened: Lai walked me to my horse, we were alone, and then Evelina interrupted us. We had some unpleasant and unkind banter and I got Evelina angry enough to try and kill me. I reached for my knife, but I couldn't get it from my horse. Lai jumped in front of me to save my life. Evelina realized it wasn't me she killed, and she ran. I would have gone after her, but I had Lai in my arms. That's what happened! You must believe me!" Amanda yelled, her blue eyes watering at she glared at his tunic.

"Then if you're not lying to me, why won't you look at me?" he yelled back. Amanda brought herself to look at him.

"Because I can't, you wouldn't understand," Amanda said softly. Arthur took a step forward, but Amanda shied away. Arthur stepped back, his rage taking over him again. Amanda fought tears, ready to kiss his feet. Arthur turned his back on her and faced the opposite wall, apparently thinking. He thought for a very long time, and Amanda eventually began to weep almost silently. Arthurs' words had ripped her to pieces. She had never meant to hurt him, and she saw now that she had. She stared at the floor, and had her eyes been shovels, she would have dug through the stone, and kept herself in a large hole. Finally, he cleared his throat and looked at Amanda. Amanda felt his eyes on her, but ignored them.

"Since I can't trust you," she began digging deeper with her mind, "you will have to go out and find Evelina yourself. If you are telling the truth, I know you'll find her." He then turned his back on her.

"On one condition," Amanda came back with, and Arthur stopped, "someone must accompany me."

"Fine," Arthur said, and took her by the arm firmly once again. His fingers pressed into the same place they did last time, and she stifled a gasp. He harshly escorted her back into the stable and the group around Lai had grown larger in the few moments Amanda and Arthur had been gone. Maids were in there now, bawling their eyes out, and a few male servants looked quite solemn.

"Who is willing to go with Amanda to find Evelina?" Arthur asked immediately, getting the attention of all those surrounding Lai. None of the Knights offered, and they just turned their backs on Amanda. Long moments past, and Amanda couldn't believe that no one wished to help her. Did they really not like her that much?

"I'll go," said a disappointed voice. Edem came forward, and Amanda bit her tongue.

"There you have him Amanda," Arthur said, as he turned to Edem, giving him instructions and the agreement. Amanda however was not listening. She was looking at Lai. Her face seemed so peaceful, and happy. The face of a sure angel. Many times had Amanda called Lai an angel, but now she saw that she had been right in giving her the title. Her face, once so full of life, now never to look up on or express the joys in which she would produce. Amanda was never more angry in her life.

"Is that understood Amanda?" Arthur asked, and Amanda nodded.

"What should we do if the other dies?" Edem asked Arthur, and he paused.

"Do whatever you think is necessary," Arthur answered, and began to walk away.

"So in other words Edem, leave me there to rot and I will bring you back here," Amana said just loud enough to make Arthur stop in his stride and clench his fists. "I am worth no more than that," Amanda finished. Arthur looked back at Amanda over his shoulder.

"Are you saying no one cares?" he asked.

"Indeed," Amanda replied shortly.

"Well maybe if you hadn't lied," Arthur said coolly.

"Maybe if you weren't so moody I wouldn't have been afraid to tell you," Amanda replied.

"Excuse me?" he asked, turning his chest to her fully.

"That's right. If I wasn't the victim of your childish tantrums maybe I would have told you," she clarified.

"Well maybe if you weren't so-" he broke off. Amanda raised her eyebrows in a questioning manner. They all waited, enticed since the moment he said "lied", but Arthur never finished. He walked over to Lai, and stared down.

"Maybe if you didn't cause so many problems then maybe that wouldn't happen," Arthur said, looking at his second wife in too short a period of time. And Amanda felt what he said hit her in the heart. It took her several moments to recover her anger.

"Well maybe I shouldn't have tried to help you Arthur," she said bitterly.

"Help me?" he asked.

"Yes, that's what friends do. But now you have something else, another thing that's more important. And when I'm gone to Rome, then you'll be better off," Arthur turned and took a few steps towards Amanda. For the last time, Amanda looked Arthur in the eye, and for the first time she didn't quiver, "At least I know where to find you Arthur. Wallowing out in the graveyard. And now you've got two women to keep company. Have fun, ol' pal. I'm sure Guinevere will be pleased to know you'll be joining her once again." She shouldn't have said the last thing, but she did, and she would pay. Arthur walked to her and, without hesitation, slapped her across the face. It was quick and decisive and it stung like stone, but Amanda stood unwavering. Suddenly, it was as if another being controlled her body. She reached out, looking right at him, and slapped him back. She then turned on her heel and mounted her horse. She looked once more back at Lai, and for the last time. The face of an angel had doomed her; to whatever Lai had wished for her. Her voice ran in Amanda's head, that stupid promise. She would never take care of Arthur. Her blue eyes closed the image of her body in her mind. Anger tore through her.

* * *

And how angry you all will be. :o))

**Authors Thanks: **I loved reading all of your reviews! I'm even more delighted that there are two new people reading this and that is enough motivation for me to keep on going like the energizer bunny! **Janelle: **Welcome! I hope you don't run away like a few of my last ones, and I absolutely loved reading your review! I don't really mind that it was a novel, and feel free to write me more any time.I'm sorry the last chapter made you so sad, and I liked making and writing Lai as much as you liked reading her. But, what was I supposed to do? And I hate Evelina too, but she's one of my favorite characters. A word of advice, don't read so much that you can't see straight again, hahaha. I was flattered that you read the whole thing in one sitting however. applause As for guessing who Mysterious is, please go right ahead! The others have guessed, but I'm not going to tell you who he is. He won't be in the next chapter...or will he? Keep reading and reviewing! **Scouter:** I'm so glad you read what I wrote and reviewed, it's much appriciated! Thank you, and welcome to my story! I'm glad you think my work is brilliant, and I hope this chapter is what you're looking for. Keep reading and reviewing! **Junie Birdie: **Welcome! I personally apologize (though I don't know how personal one can apologize over the internet...) for making you feel sad over the last chapter.Okay, maybe I wanted you a little sad because the death of Lai is reallysad. I hope you liked this chapter, and I hope you stick around until the end of the story, and maybe the future one's I'll write. Funny about what else you said, the whole, go kick ass thing...hint hint**FFMasquerade2005:** I'm sorry to read that you had a rough day, and I hope all your days are better off from now on (not that this chapter will do you any good : P) and I still enjoy reading whatever you write. I know, I know, I do a good job of making Evelina a complete asshole, but hey! That's what I'm here for! wink I'm ansolutly dying over here to know what you and my other faithfuls think. I can't even imagine how you'll yell at me. And, as I told Janelle, you'll just have to wait and see who Mysterious is...and if he still loves Amanda and so on and so forth. evil laugh Can't wait to read what you post, and just wait 'til you read my next genius chapter...mwuahahahaha! **the sarahnater:** Awww, I didn't mean to make you almost cry! Okay, maybe I did...but not just you. And sadly, I have to crush your hopes of Amanda not being blamed with Lai's murder in this chapter. But, you know Amanda! She always redeems herself! So, I guess I just took away your old hope and replaced it with a new one. Remember, there's more on the table than just the death of Lai. Keep reading: ). **Tracy137:** Two things: I love your rambling reviews! They're so motivating, and I can always tell you paid attention to what I wrote. And second, you need to smack _me,_ not Arthur. I spelt your name wrong! How come you never corrected me and said "uuh, hey, you, insane author, there isn't an e in my name!" I feel like a half-wit! Anyway, I know Evelina needs to totally die! smirk How'd you like this chapter? I'm dying to know! And I totally agree Tristan needs to come back to life and kill her. But, I'm not going all sci-fi now...darn. Maybe you should refrain from beating Arthur up in your story, might not go down so well. But hey, if you want to, go right ahead! I'm not stopping you. : ). Hope you liked this chapter as much as I did.


	19. A Discovery

Chapter 19: A Discovery

Disclaimer: Forget this.

Note: It's only going to get worse. Enjoy. I'm sorry this took _so _long.

* * *

No one had seen them off, and the two hadn't spoken since Amanda's comment. There were resting, him more so than she. All the while two questions were eating away at her. One, why had Edem come along? And two, what was Arthur going to do to her? She was determined to find Evelina; and sources so far had sent them to where they were now. Somewhere Amanda wasn't very familiar with. Edem was a good tracker, having learned from his father during his boyhood. But now, as night trudged on, only Amanda was awake. She looked over at his sleeping body, and knew that had she not come back to Camelot, none of this would be happening. Lai's words echoed in her head. 

"I let what's going to happen, happen…" Maybe Amanda should have gone after Evelina when the dagger first entered. She'd probably be no better off.

_If only someone would believe me,_ Amanda thought. Not even the Knights believed her anymore. Her once dear friends hated her as much as the Saxons. Suddenly, there was a crack in the woods behind them and a soft breeze. Edem snapped up, and looked around.

"You heard that?" Amanda asked.

"Shhh," he quieted her. He got to his feet and surveyed the forest. Amanda joined him, and listened intently.

"I think it's time we left Amanda," Edem said. Amanda nodded. After gathering their things, Amanda mounted her horse.

"No," he said, "we go on foot for now." Amanda dismounted and gave Edem a questioning look. He disregarded it and headed into the woods.

"Men," Amanda said, and followed her former love.

* * *

Amanda rubbed her eyes, straining to see through the darkness about her. She was brooding at the fact that Edem and she were still tacking in the middle of the night, in the cold. All she wanted to do was go to sleep for a few hours. But, Edem said that they had to keep going. She could feel her upper lip forming an arch of anger and disgust. Suddenly, a cold gust of wind blew at Amanda's back, and one of the blankets flew off of her horse. 

"Oh shit!" she cursed as the soft material slipped away out of her reach and blew up ahead out of sight. Letting go of her horse, she rushed forward to look for the blanket.

"Amanda!" Edem cried after her, but she ignored him. Stumbling forward in the darkness, Amanda kept running, her hands outstretched in front of her. After a few long moments, she slowed to a walk, and strained to see around. She was able to make out a couple of trees and then she looked at the ground. She smiled to herself as the blanket was a few feet behind her. Here, the phrase "expect the unexpected" is of the utmost importance. Because here the unexpected happened to Amanda, as shewas sent crashing to the ground, her head smacking against a tree root.

"Ow! God!" she cried, as the heavy body of a man she knew too well landed on top of her.

"Amanda! I am so sorry! I didn't see you -" Edem said, scrambling to get up.

"Obviously not," Amanda said bitterly.

"Here, let me help you up," He said, and a hand thrust out into Amanda's nose.

"Ah!" Amanda cried, her hand flying from her head to her nose.

"Sorry!" Edem said again, reaching for her arm.

"Don't touch me!" Amanda yelled at him, snapping her arm away, and pushing her body further from him. Standing, her suddenly felt a warm spring of a warm liquid coming from her nose. "Jesus! I've got a bloody nose!" She said, wiping away more blood.

"You do?" Edem asked.

"Yes," Amanda snapped, and started heading back to the horse.

"Here, let me help you," Edem said.

"Leave me along, you great big oaf! I'm no longer your concern! Just leave me be, for once in your life!" she yelled at him, her hand smacking his away.

"Amanda, I just want -"

"That's right, you just want to do whatever you think is right at the moment. Why do you only take the incentive when it's something you want or care about? Hmm? Don't you ever do something for a purpose of the greater good?" Amanda tormented, anger overwhelming her.

"Like who, your Arthur?" Edem shot back at her, his anger clear even in the dark.

"He's not my Arthur, Goddamn it!" Amanda corrected him, her loud voice trying to pierce him like a knife.

"That doesn't mean you don't want him to be! Well I apologize Amanda. I apologize for caring about you. And to think I thought you cared for me as well," he hissed, his voice going quieter. When Edem was truly angry, he didn't yell, he hissed.

"Oh please! Me? Care about a self centered, arrogant, horny bugger who just needs a woman to live off? You really think anybody besides your mother could care for you?" Amanda shot at him. It was mean, and it was heartless. But that's all Amanda was; a cold, mean, heartless woman who didn't care for anybody but herself. And what she said had finally pierced Edem; right through her tough armor and into his heart.

"Yes," he answered truthfully, "at one point I thought an amazing, beautiful, gentle, happy woman loved me and cared for me in all the ways I had dreamed of. But, now I see dreams really can't come true. I see that that girl was a figment of my imagination; a mask that I have finally pulled off. She's no more than a soulless, unfeeling, unmoving, stubborn, self centered girl who quits when she can't get her own way."

"You bastard," Amanda said, "I hate you."

She hadn't meant it. She was tired, and unhappy, and she had let it slip what she said. But now she knew. She knew what it felt like to be on the other end. She had been in Edem's position before with Arthur, and Evelina. If she had learned anything at all from Arthur, it was that you cannot take back what you say. Words are Gods gift and when you abuse them to hurt people, you can never take them back.

Edem began to walk away, and his head hung in defeat. Amanda knew that Arthur would have told her he hated her, too. But Edem couldn't bring himself too. He truly loved Amanda, and for her to say that with such passion, he couldn't bare it.

And the worst part?

Amanda didn't go after him.

* * *

After a little while, Amanda wrapped the blanket that had caused the whole mess around herself and began to walk back to the horses. Secretly she hoped Edem would still be there, and she closed her eyes when she made it back. She couldn't bring herself to look. The morning sun was creeping up behind the trees, and a brilliant purple and yellow shown in the cloudless skies. Amanda looked up instead. Edem cleared his throat to let her know he was there. Amanda sighed with relieve, but didn't look at him. 

Walking over to her horse, she began to fold up the blanket and then put it away safely so there would be no more repeats. Edem began to near her, and she watched him out of the corner of her eye, but he was only heading to his horse.

"I don't know about you," he said softly, "but I'm going to keep looking for Evelina." Amanda didn't look at him, but followed as he began to walk again. Exhaling, a white, semi-translucent puff of thin wisps clustered together, and then expanded in front of her. She watched them float away up to the dawning sky, and let all the troubles follow it.

"I'm leaving this with you God. Give me the power to make it all right again," she whispered. She could have sworn Edem looked back from the corner of his eye and smiled, but she wishing for him to so badly that it could have been a figment of imagination.

* * *

After a few hours, the first snow of the season began to come down from the heavens. Amanda wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, and Edem slowed down for her to keep in pace with him. Every so often he'd glance back over his shoulder at her, and she always bent her head down low. After more hours of walking through the light snow and marking the woods discreetly, the travelers came across a quite beaten path. 

"And so we've found your path Evelina," Edem said partially to himself.

"What makes you say that?" Amanda asked. Edem walked over to a tree and picked up an empty pack from under a thin layer of snow.

"It hasn't weathered any besides this snow," he said, "So I'm assuming…"

"I see," Amanda said.

_Thank God he's here,_ she thought as they headed onward once again. As Amanda stared at the back of his head, she didn't seem to mind her feet that screamed in protest. But, as they walked, her throbbing head and nose blurred her vision. Shaking her head every so often, it appeared to go away for a while. After several head shakings, Amanda stopped, a fierce pain in her head, and held her wound. Her horse whinnied in confusion, and Edem looked back. Amanda let out a breath of pain, and tired to fight it off again. A firm hand took her arm, and she looked vaguely up.

"Amanda?" he asked.

"Yes?" she asked stiffly and awkwardly.

"You better sit," he said.

"No, no, I'm fine," she answered, trying to shake him off.

"Look," Edem said, not giving up, "it's getting later, and you are tired."

"I'm not tired," Amanda said.

"I can see it on your face," he said.

"There's a difference between being tired and being hurt," Amanda whispered to herself.

"We should camp," Edem continued, "I don't trust out here."

"You don't trust out here or don't trust me?" Amanda asked. Edem tied up his horse and laughed.

"No, I trust you Amanda," he said.

"You trust a potential murderer?" Amanda questioned, curious.

"You're no killer. And I believe your story, if that's what you're getting at," he replied, and Amanda was thankful.

"Really?" she asked unconsciously. He looked back at her and laughed again.

"Yes really. Evelina makes a much more convincing killer than you'd ever be," he said. Amanda sat, silently singing the Lord praise in her heart. Edem joined her, and handed her a piece of bread. The two ate in silence, and Amanda listened to him breathe.

"Edem," Amanda began.

"Yes?"

"Why did you come with me?" Amanda asked. She instantly saw it was a question he was ready for. What came next seemed impeccably rehearsed.

"Because Amanda," he began rather shortly, "I felt this pull in my stomach towards you. As no one volunteered, the pull became stronger until I couldn't bear it anymore. That's why I sounded, if you noticed, rather disappointed. I thought that if I waited out, then it would be alright. But I couldn't and, truly, I didn't want to.

"But," Amanda said, "the fight. I was so unkind and I said those nasty things."

"As did I. And it's not like it didn't hurt, or that I'm not mad at you anymore; because they did hurt and I am mad at you," he said sharply. Amanda looked down at her hands, examining the fine lines.

"I'm sorry Edem. I shouldn't have said what I did. I was just so mad that no one believed me, and no one would take my side, and that they are all soangry at me. When we fought I was tired and angry at the damned wind and, God it all had-" she said, a faint twist of remorse in her voice, but Edem put a finger to her lips to silence her.

"Amanda, I don't need a tall tale," he said.

"I'm not lying!" she said sharply.

"I never said you were. All I'm saying that 'sorry' is good enough. I don't need an explanation. And you've already covered that aspect," he said indifferently, but quietly.

"You don't believe me?" Amanda asked.

"I believe you," he said, and Amanda nodded.

"You know, you should look at people when you apologize to them," Edem commented.

"I know," Amanda said, "apologizing isn't one of my strong points."

"Got that right," Edem said. Amanda chuckled. The two sat, at some kind of common ground for the time being, and they rested, but neither slept.

"What do you think Adonis did?" Edem asked, and Amanda sighed.

"He's not the only one," Amanda said. Edem looked at her in utter confusion.

"What?"

"Evelina told me the night I fought her. I tried to tell Arthur, but I was on a bit of a power trip," Amanda explained, realizing that something was her fault once again.

"I see," he replied, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the rock behind him.

"There are no enemies of his known to me," Amanda added.

"Unless it's another Saxons uprising," Edem suggested.

"I don't think so. Two years seems too short a time for them to find a new leader and regroup. It was only possible for them to last time because it was the former Saxon leader's son fighting in revenge," Amanda countered, gently.

"The Celts then," Edem said.

"Possibly. But, unless Evelina came to this island and Camelot prepared for this with a Celtic alliance, this wouldn't be a revenge plot, which it seems to be," Amanda thought aloud.

"We'll keep that option open," Edem noted, "any unhappy citizens that might be revolting against him?"

"What do you think?" Amanda asked.

"Guess not," he said.

"Nothing fits, that's all. Too bad I made him hate me, and that he'll never trust me again, because his help would be wonderful right about now," Amanda said sourly.

"There is no knot made that cannot be undone," Edem said. Amanda soaked it in. He was absolutely right. Amanda nodded again, but a pain revolted in her head.

"Ah," she said, hand flying to her temple.

"Here," said Edem, let me take a look at that, his hand reaching out for her head. Amanda shrank from his touch, and his green eyes narrowed, "Amanda, you cannot fear me. You fought so fiercely last night that there can't be anything you fear. Besides, last night was bad. But it was still last night. Now, as a friend, let me look at you injury."

_Damn, he's good. _

Amanda looked at him, and then leaned forward. She felt his hands on her face, and then on her scalp.

"How bad is it?" she asked after a few moments.

"You'll live, but here," he said taking a mound of snow and packing it into a ball, "hold this on where it hurts. It'll at least numb the pain." Amanda took the ball, and lightly pressed it to her head. She wasn't shocked at the cold, nor would she let Edem know when it was really cold. But, after a while, Edem was right. The pain in her head numbed and her hand began to not mind the frozen water.

"I do care about you Edem," Amanda said, surprising herself. He looked at her in shock, and she bit her bottom lip, "I didn't mean what I said last night. At all." She studied him with her blue eyes, praying for at least a response.

"So, Arthur is yours?" Edem asked. Amanda wanted to snap at him, but she caught herself, and thought about what she was saying.

"No, Edem, that was the truth," she answered him. And he nodded. Amanda looked away, taking the last bite of her bread, and sighing. After a few moments Amanda turned her blue eyes to look at him, surprised to find he was already looking at her. His brilliant green eyes smiled at her in every fleck, whereas his face remained indifferent. Amanda looked back at him, and actually saw Edem, not Arthur. Not the man that had saved her life; but the one that had openly loved her for who she was and what she could be. Amanda smiled back through her eyes, and she could feel her heart beat skip a beat. Could it possibly be? Could Amanda actually find it in her heart to love Edem back, after all this time, and forget Arthur?

_Arthur who?_ She thought as she looked away from Edem, her glow returning to her skin.

* * *

The next morning, the snow had ceased and Amanda shook the flakes from her blanket and rose. Edem was already up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. She gave him a friendly smile, but he didn't smile back. Amanda panicked for a few moments, but then began to head over her horse. However, she never really got there. After two steps, Edem had rushed forward, grabbed her arm, and dipped her down. He looked at her for a moment, her heart ramming against her rib cage. He smiled a deviant smile, and brushed his lips against hers. He pulled the smallest distance away, and Amanda didn't open her eyes. She heard a faint chuckle and he kissed her again, tenderly and romantically, all she had wanted. Her arms slid up to his shoulders and she embraced the warmth that emanated from him to her. Then, he pulled her up, and broke the kiss. She waited a few moments before she opened her eyes, her bottom lip neatly tucked under her front upper teeth, as if trying to collect herself. Then, she wiped the smile from her face, and opened her eyes. Slipping away from Edem's grasp, she saw a smile on his face. 

"Don't play games with me young lady," he said, and Amanda giggled as she continued to her horse. He caught her waist just as she reached it, and pulled her back. Turning back, her hands went around his neck, and she laced her fingers. He kissed her forehead, and then looked down at her. She stood up on her tippy toes and brushed her nose against his.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" Amanda asked softly, and she went back down on her heels. He rested his forehead against hers, and thought for a long moment.

"Yes my darling," he said voice deeper than usual. Amanda smiled at him, her cheeks pink with half cold and half heat. Suddenly, the couple was interrupted by what Amanda had secretly been dreading. Her hands slipped from the back of his neck, and his grip slowly loosened enough until his arms hung at his sides. Her head was snapped to the West, her brow furrowed at the noise. She knew it was there, but couldn't quite make it out. Stepping away, and grabbing her sword. The sword from many days ago when she left. The sword the Knights had given her. _May Godspeed be with you. Knight of the Earth._ That's what said, and now she tied to her belt. Her right hand resting on the hilt, and her left on the sheath, she was ready for any kind of attacker. Leaving the small clearing and entering the forest, she heard the noise again, and stopped suddenly. Looking around, Edem was behind her, and she relaxed the slightest bit. Walking on towards her left, she could see a large rock beyond the edge of the forest, almost like a cliff over looking the fields below. Dashing behind a large tree, like a wolf ready to kill, she saw her prey.

"Alright," said the slightly strained, yet still musical voice of a woman, "I cleared my trail. That girl will never find us now."

"You'd better be right," said a familiar, but implacable voice, responding to the woman. Amanda peered carefully around the trunk of the tree, and saw only one person. An auburn haired woman, who still managed to be beautiful in the middle of the forest.

_Oh, Evil-lina, I shall make you pay for your entirety. You shall meet my wraith.

* * *

_

Review, my cherubs.


	20. An End

Chapter 20: An End

Disclaimer: I, the author of this story and its prequel, The Look of Hope, have no partnership or co-ownership with the major motion picture King Arthur, or the company that produced the movie. Nor do I take any claim in owning them in this story. The only ones I have that privilege of claiming are those not in the movie: Amanda, Nicolarious, Evelina, Lai, Gurshoin, Kylian, Anys, The Caretaker, Caia, Ambrose, Aalya, and anyone else I might have forgotten to mention.

Note: Authors thanks at the end.

* * *

Arthur looked out his window, seemingly staring at the thin white blanket of snow on the ground. But, his eyes were playing many scenes before his mind, the white only a background for his very long and filled life so far. His green eyes blinked a few times, but other than that, Arthur stood perfectly still, unexpressed, and calm.

"Sire?" asked a soft voice. Arthur looked up, smiling, and then turning his head around. He looked at his maid, and the smile faded from his face.

"Yes?" he asked, looking back out the window.

"Would you like me to turn back your bed?" she asked softly, her voice gentle. Oh that voice. That voice he had heard so many times before, and the one he had always listened for to push him on. The voice he head echoing in his head whenever he needed to be comforted. Even when she wasn't here to speak to him, to comfort him, her voice was always there.

"No, thank you," he answered.

"Sire?" she asked again.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Have I disappointed you, you sound disappointed. As if you were expecting someone else," she said. Arthur looked up, but not at the girl.

"You haven't disappointed me child, just my imagination," Arthur answered.

"Were you hoping me to be Her Majesty?" the maid asked.

"No," he answered truthfully.

"Lady Marslyn?" the girl ventured.

"Very much so," answered Arthur, "thank you my dear, that will be all for now."

* * *

Amanda had nothing to fear now. All she had to do was manage to pass the last 100 yards quickly and quietly so she wouldn't be noticed. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw Edem studying the woman very carefully. Amanda looked back at the girl, and she crouched down. She leaned forward silently onto her left hand, her right still across her body and resting on the hilt of her blade. Then, she left her hiding place, crawling slowly forward. She could see her next hiding place; a fallen, rotting tree covered in moss and surrounded by small saplings. The whole cover rose a few feet off the ground, and Amanda knew that would be a safe place. She inched near, going slowly and focused as so she wouldn't make a noise. One noise and she knew that her very life could be over. The time it took for her hand to reach out, her foot to meet it, and her hand to reach out again was very long, but Amanda dare not rise up any farther in case she should be seen. Finally, she reached her next post, and she let out a silent breath. Edem came up behind her.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, knowing that Amanda wanted this more than anything. Amanda considered their options. They could wait until the right moment to jump out and attack the other two. Or, they could attack now in order to avoid the risk of being outnumbered. She and Edem were lucky that there were only two of their opponents at the moment, and Amanda didn't know how long that would last. Amanda really wanted to listen in on their conversation, to see what was going on. She strained to hear them, yet she knew if she and Edem got any closer, they were at extreme risk of being caught. The level of risk was even extreme from where they were at the moment. In all reality, Amanda didn't really care if she was caught, but Edem was another story. She didn't want him to die because she was so angry at Evelina. At that very moment, Amanda had to constantly remind herself that Edem was with her and his life was very important, it refrained her from just running up and stabbing Evelina. Amanda peered over the trunk of the tree at the backs of the man and Evelina. She fought whether she and Edem should take advantage of their turned backs or not.

"I'm going to get them, and bring them back here," said the man all of a sudden, and Amanda nearly jumped out of her skin. She was able to duck her head down just before he turned, and Amanda tried to regain her mind. She had been so focused and with that close call, she almost lost it. Her hand tightened around the hilt of her sword, and Edem noticed silently that her knuckles were white. He reached out a hand and patted her white knuckles. Amanda looked at him, and smiled, blinking a few times. She was glad he was here, he had comforted her.

"You shall pay for your mistake, who does the lashing is the question," the man said angrily, and Amanda listened to him ride off in the opposite direction. Amanda's mind raced.

_Mistake? Evelina made what mistake?_ And then it dawned on her, _Lai. Lai wasn't supposed to die._

Amanda flashed her eyes at Edem, and he looked back, brow furrowed.

"Lai," Amanda mouthed to him. He nodded in comprehension. Amanda looked back over the tree trunk, and saw Evelina pacing back and forth at the foot of the cliff. She wasn't 50 yards away from her, and all Amanda wanted to do was slit her throat.

_Remember why you came Amanda, she needs to live,_ Amanda told herself. Amanda turned back to Edem, her ideas seeming impossible. But there was one.

"Alright, here's what we do," she said softly to Edem, who leaned in to listen, "I'll go out to her, and you stay hidden in these woods here. I'll talk to her, and on my cue, you come out and we'll take her back over to our horses, and we'll wait for the rest of them to come back." Edem thought about it for a few moments, and then he looked back at her.

"I'll listen to you because if we had all listened to you in the first place, none of this would have happened," said Edem softly, and Amanda smiled. Then, she stood up, and began heading to Evelina. She emerged from the woods, and the expression on the womans' face was priceless, but Amandas' had to be even greater.

"Amanda?" asked the woman. Amanda had seen this woman before, only once. She never got to know her very well, but that had been years ago. About two, as a matter of fact. On Gawain's' birthday, and then she had been all he had ever talked about it. Her auburn hair, and brown eyes; it all pieced together now. Amanda assumed Evelina and this girl looked alike, but now she saw they had to be related.

"Aalya?" Amanda asked, shocked. Aalya smiled triumphantly.

"You're very good, I covered my tracks well, and yet you still found me," she said, walking to her horse and taking out her sword.

"And you've caught me by surprise. But now I have to assume that Adonis was the one Gawain caught you with," Amanda said to her.

"Adonis?" she laughed beautifully, not the least uncomfortable, "Yes, he's much better than Gawain ever was. Besides, Gawain was too busy lusting after you to truly give me what I needed."

"You whore," Amanda said to the girl before her. Aalya smiled angelically, and considered it.

"Yes, I suppose I am. But, Gawain isn't the reason you're here. In fact, I highly doubt I was the person you thought I was to be. I look an awful lot like my sister," Aalya said, taking her sword into her right hand, a grin on her face.

"You're quite right about that, I'm here for Lai, whom your sister killed by mistake," Amanda said, unsheathing her blade.

"Yes, that was my fault entirely. You see, I was the one who was to make sure you were in there alone, but," she laughed, and pushed back her wondrous hair, "I was catching up with an old friend of mine."

"So," Amanda continued, determined to stay as cool and collected as Aalya was, "what is this all about?" Aalya wagged her index finger from left to right.

"No, no my dear, that's not for you to know. Now, I'm going to have to kill, for my master will be back soon, and he'd be very happy to find your dead body here," Aalya said, stepping towards Amanda and thrusting her sword . Amanda parried it away, and took her own jab at Aalya.

"Adonis?" Amanda asked.

"No," said Aalya, blocking the jab with ease, and going at Amanda again. This time, her sequence got more complicated, but Amanda kept up. As Aalya finished her final step, Amanda kicked the woman in her ankle, causing her to stumble forward. Amanda then slammed the hilt of her sword into Aalyas back who gasped in pain, but straightened quickly, ready with a new attack. She fiercely at Amanda, and then took the moment between to punch Amanda in the stomach. Amanda felt the air being sucked out of her, but she knew she couldn't let her sword fall. She stepped off, and then went back at Aalya. She took a stab at her arm, and then faked away towards her chest. Aalya barely blocked it, spinning away up the rock. Suddenly, the two stopped, hearing hooves thudding on near by earth. Amanda looked back at Aalya before her opponent did, and she took another thrust at her. This time, Amanda nicked Aalyas' upper chest, and grinned as she took a good moment to regain some energy. Aalya came back at Amanda, aiming for her throat. Amanda dodged to the left, feeling a slice against her cheek. She pulled away faster, and shook it off. And then they all came. They were on horses, and in total shock. Adonis was the first to jump off his horse, ready to fight, Evelina came after in second. On the horse was the last person Amanda expected to ever see again, let alone be in a plot against Arthur. But, the more and more she thought about it, his contributions were probably the most obvious. Gurshoins' horsed reared in confusion and anxiousness, as Gurshoin stared at Amanda. Amanda glared back fiercely, and then he grinned. Turning his horse around, he sped off in the direction he came. Edem came running ready out of the forest.

"Should have known you would have been on the sidelines watching," said Adonis.

"Should have known that you were everything Arthur claimed you to be," Edem spat back. Adonis smiled, and bowed.

"I am all that, and more," he replied. Edem spat at his shoes, and Adonis went at Edem. Amanda, however, didn't see anymore of the fight between Adonis and Edem, for she was left glaring at Evelina.

"What are you glaring at?" Evelina asked, a little shakily.

"A murderer," Amanda hissed. Evelina smiled.

"Oh, then that makes sense," Evelina said back, and Amanda gritted her teeth, taking a stab at her. Evelina parried her off, and Aalya came up beside her. Amanda looked at Aalya, and with one fierce move, tossed her sword up in the air, catching the blade, and swinging her arm across Aalyas head, her temple connecting with the butt of Amanda's blade. She fell heavily to the ground, and Evelina smirked.

"What makes you so different from me?" Evelina asked, charging Amanda, who fought her off.

"A whole world," Amanda answered back as she pushed her blade at Evelina.

"Oh really? Because I find us very similar. You've just given a very serious, if not fatal, blow to my sister. And I killed Lai. I killed Lai by mistake. How are we different?" she posed the question while dodging Amanda's attempt and then meeting Amandas blade with her own, the metallic clash ringing in Amanda's bones. Amanda glared at Evelina, and considered her answer.

"We're different because I never would have had to hurt your sister if it weren't for you to begin with!" Amanda said.

"That sounds like the Amanda Arthur told me about. Never taking the blame for anything and always laying it onto someone else," Evelina hissed, as the fight carried on. After a few sequences, Evelina continued, "I'm the only one that's going to tell you the truth on the matter of King Arthur here, Amanda. Everyone is telling you that he loves you, but I know. He doesn't love you Amanda, he never has. You were just some girl he took pity on – " Amanda swung her blade at Evelina's head.

"Be quiet!" she cried, as Evelina ducked out of the way.

"Ah, can't handle the truth either. Yes, Arthur mentioned to me that a few times as well about you. You'd better listen to me Amanda, because he's the one that affects you the most," she paused, gritting her teeth and thrusting at Amanda again. Suddenly, Amanda held Evelina's blade, and they wound up face to face, "You're making yourself look like a fool. Arthur simply doesn't want to hurt your feelings. And he loves Nicolarious so much that he simply couldn't turn you out. He hates you Amanda. But, after killing Lai, he would hate you."

"I didn't kill Lai, you did," Amanda hissed, "and I don't care if Arthur hates me. He can't provide me with the happiness I thought he could. Edem and Nicolarious are the ones I care for. You and I differ in this way Evelina: I don't take advantage of lies, I let things come as they please. I don't want to control what I can't."

"Liar," Evelina hissed, and it was true. As long as Amanda didn't let Evelina in her head, then she would be alright. But Evelina had come dangerously close to Amanda making mistakes, and she couldn't let it happen anymore. Amanda spun out of the hold, and punched Evelina in the jaw, blowing her body back. As Evelina clutched her jaw, Amanda pushed her as hard as she could manage, and Evelina was sent stumbling back. She collided with Edem, and the two crashed to the ground. This left Adonis and Amanda facing each other. Her temper and emotion racing through her veins, Amanda glared at Adonis. He, on the other hand, stood grinning, which provoked Amanda further. She charged him, pushing him back onto the cliff. He was much stronger than Evelina was, and it took both Amanda's hands to hold on to her sword. But she wouldn't back down, and he deserved to die.

"So, you were attracted to me?" Adonis asked, and Amanda swung at his legs.

"No, I was just being polite," Amanda retorted, and Edem's golden eyes narrowed.

"You little whore," he spat at her, and Amanda laughed, parrying away his thrust.

"Don't you mean Aalya?" Amanda asked. She realized she could aggravate Adonis far easier than Evelina because she didn't know him as well, and he didn't answer her, "Why did all the men I know tell me to never trust you?"

"Because," he started as they entered a hold, and his strength was beating Amanda out, "I was brought out to Briton from Rome as an outcast. I suppose Arthur received word of what I did back home to his dear friend Lady Caia Donellia. She was brought out here for protection, and I'll be damned that Arthur gave it to her." Amanda glared at him, her blue eyes expressing her disbelief and her pure hatred for the man. He grinned, perfect teeth bearing a sick and sardonic happiness all expressed in that one action.

"That's right," Amanda hissed, "you be damned."

"Fierier than I thought," he said. Amanda smiled to him, and he went at her again. Amanda managed to get her fist into his stomach, and he stumbled back, further up the cliff. Amanda then thrust her sword at him again, and caught him off guard. She slashed at his sword arm, and he fell back in pain, sword falling to Amanda's feet.

"Come now Amanda, you came to me," he said, about to get up. Amanda however, made an ex around his neck out of her sword and his own. He gasped, and he kept his head very still.

"Let's get all of this mess entirely correct. I did not go to you, I was being polite, as I've stated before. And, now, for the grand question, what are you planning to do to Arthur?"

"Kill him," said Adonis, his voice strained.

"Why?" Amanda asked.

"Because his land is good for many things, and with Briton under better rule, they could take the falling Rome, making Briton the greatest power of all," Adonis answered, and Amanda had the feeling he wasn't lying.

"What have you got to do with this?" Amanda asked.

"I get part of the rule if we succeed," he said, "The entire northern half."

"And Gurshoin is the ring leader in this?" Amanda asked, her temper rising. All Adonis did was smirk. Amanda closed the blades into his neck a little, and Adonis gasped in some pain.

"Yes, he is," he answered, his back arching in pain.

"And how do you plan on killing Arthur?" Amanda asked, her foot stepping into his rib cage. Adonis didn't answer.

"Why? So you can go protect him? He doesn't love you Amanda. He despises you as much as me. You'd be better off with me," he said, his hand grabbing her chest. Amanda cried in rage, and stepped back, removing the swords from his neck.

"You bastard," Amanda hissed.

"You know it's true. Give me your body and I won't hurt Arthur that much. I'll let you take Aalyas' place in my life, considering she's severely injured anyway. Don't you want to feel me in you?" he asked. Amanda turned back at him, swinging his own blade at his chest. He dodged backwards, but his foot slipped on the ledge. Amanda went up to his unbalanced body, and took a hold of his shirt.

"I would rather die a thousand deaths than feel your grimy, disgusting body against mine," she spat, "But since I value my life, I'll relieve us both." Amanda let go of his shirt, and pushed Adonis. Amanda watched his body fall through the air, but was cut short by a much nearer yell of pain. Amanda spun around, sword ready, but nothing could prepare her for what she saw next. Edem was crouched over, clutching his stomach, Evelina's sword through him. Amanda raced over to Evelina, an uncontrolled rage in her body, and she bashed the unsuspecting woman in the back of the head with her hilt. Evelina fell down, unconscious, and Amanda threw herself next to Edem. She pulled him up, and he fell back into her arms. He looked up at Amanda, and he smiled. His hand reached her cheek and she leaned into his palm.

"My beautiful girl," he said softly.

"Here Edem, let me help you back to the horse," Amanda said.

"No, no. Let me spend my last here, just looking at you," he said calmly, but firmly.

"Edem," Amanda said, "don't talk like that."

"Amanda, please. Just hold me," he said, and Amanda felt her tears coming on, but she held him closer to her. She looked down at the growing spot of blood on his tunic, and as it colored her hand. She stayed quiet though, her shaking body and seldom gasps only broke the silence.

"I love you, truly," Edem said softly, and Amanda looked down at him. She shook her head, and he smiled.

"I love you Edem," Amanda answered, honestly as he had told her. His grip loosened, and his eyes closed, amd an end to a life began.

* * *

**To all my readers:** Sorry I hadn't written in a while. But, whatever, I'm back now. **Janell: **Yes, I'm back. I hope this ending has made you even happier about Evelina, and what's yet to come should make you smile a wee bit more. Fortunately, you can now fully root for an Amanda/Arthur hook up, because… r.i.p Edem. I'm glad to hear from you. Keep reading! **La argentinita: **What you wrote made me laugh, and exactly what happens to the murder is yet to be revealed. Happy reading! **The sarahnater:** Yes, I'm back! Yay! Hahaha, I'm reading to keep working, and to keep pleasing you with my chapters. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the last one. 


	21. Confessions of a Traitor

Chapter 21: Confessions of a Traitor

Disclaimer: Do I have to repeat myself?

Note: Authors thanks at end.

* * *

After Amanda finished crying, her body entered the numbness she had rarely felt. Mindlessly, she dragged Edem's body back to his horse, and then dragged back Evelina's. She took Evelina's horse, and brought it to the campsite. She then hoisted the unconscious body on top of its horse, stripped her off all weapons she had on her hidden, and bound her hands around the horses' neck. Then, Amanda cleaned off Edems body, washed out his wound, and wrapped him up in a few of the blankets. As she placed the cloth over his face, Amanda gave his cheek one last kiss. Then, she put him on her horse. She went over to his horse, and took off the reins, saddle, and equipment.

"Be free," she said in the horses' ear, and hit its flank. The horse whinnied in surprise, and bolted into the West. Amanda didn't watch it go. Tying Evelina's horses' reins to her horse, she got up behind Edem, a protective and steadying hand on his back. She urged her horse on, a swift canter, and remained in her numbness until they emerged onto the path they had traveled on before they went into the woods. She slowed her horse then, and noticed a stirring behind her. Looking back at Evelina, she noted she was awake, and in pain.

"You cannot do this to me," Evelina protested.

"I already am," Amanda answered indifferently.

"I can't believe you took his body with you," Evelina said after a short pause.

"He wanted a proper burial," Amanda answered, quickening their pace a little.

"You're so weak Amanda, I would have left him there," Evelina said. Amanda didn't answer, and rode on.

"He couldn't have meant that much to you. You were always to busy pining after Arthur to care about him," Evelina continued, "But, I guess you never really know what you have until you've lost it, isn't that right?" Amanda continued to stay silent.

"You aren't even strong enough to answer me anymore. I should have known," was Evelina's last comment that Amanda handled.

"Listen Evelina, when we get back to Camelot, you'll be tortured until you break, and then put to death for high treason. I might be weak, but I'm not a simpleton, which you just happen to have inherited. Or have you always been that way?" Evelina was silenced, and shifted her body weight on her horse. Amanda urged the horses on faster, and followed the trail until it came to the fields before Camelot.

Amanda stopped to give the horses a rest, and stretched her legs. She stared at the city walls, and imagined what was going on. She was sure she had been spotted by now; she was only a little ways away. She was sure some guard had recognized her, and was sending words for the King. Arthur; Arthur would arrive on the wall, and look at Amanda. She was sure she was the last thing he wanted to see at the moment, but Amanda didn't care. As long as she proved her innocence, she could live without the Knights, her brother, and the King.

* * *

Nicolarious sat aimlessly in a chair in the library, head in hand, listening to the meeting. He was tired and worried, anyone would have been able to tell just by looking at him .Kylian was sitting at the table and Galahad next to him. Kylian was dazed, barely paying attention, and Galahad looked rather depressed. Ambrose paced the floor, and Bors stood by the door, a scowl on his face. Gawain and Arthur were standing, having a screaming match. Which of the two looked worse was a tough call. Gawain's gold hair was greasy and disgustingly knotted at the back of his neck. His eyes were tired and severely unaware. Both were extremely depressed, and Arthur was a little more obvious about it. His face was unshaven, and his usually neat and ordered appearance had abdicated his life. His clothes were days old, and off line. His brilliant green eyes had dulled, and were not truly fighting as they normally would have been.

"Arthur, you cannot send the army to help the Woads over a hundred miles from here!" Gawain cried pointing to one of the many maps spread on the table before them.

"That is our pact Gawain; the Woads need our help as we have needed theirs!" Arthur answered.

"No Woad ever came down from that far North to help us!" Gawain stated which was a fact.

"It doesn't matter which ones came to fight, it's the race in itself. No one person deserves to be excluded from help and sympathy, they're all equal!" Arthur spat.

"You should know all about excluding sympathy," Gawain said, turning his back on Arthur and to a map.

"Oh, don't bring her into this Gawain. You were no kinder to the murderer than I was," Arthur said, disgustedly.

"You can't prove she's a murderer. And as for my treatment, no, I was cruel to her, but I'm not the one in love with her!" Gawain retorted.

"That's debatable," Galahad tossed in there.

"Oh, and you don't love her?" Gawain said to him.

"I do, she's a wonderful girl. And she knows I love her. She's my best friend," Galahad replied calmly.

"We all love her," Gawain said.

"Please, can we get back to the matter at hand?" Arthur asked in a disgusted voice. They all began to glare at him, but then averted to the new person in the room. A guard had interrupted.

"Pardon me Your Majesty, but a person has been sighted. We think its Lady Marslyn," he announced. Arthur froze. Galahad jumped up to go to the wall, and Kylian followed. Bors eventually went moments later, but the last four froze. Finally, Nicolarious rolled himself out of the room, and Ambrose followed behind him. Galahad stared at Arthur, who stared at the doorway where the guard stood. Gawain left, and Arthur was called back at the intentional clearing of Gawain's throat. Arthur walked out to the wall, barely prepared for her.

* * *

Amanda rode through the city gates, and she felt many eyes fall upon her. She didn't care though, and she carried on to the palace gates. Dismounting her horse, she turned back to Evelina, who looked at her impatiently. Amanda took out Edem's dagger and used it to loosen the knot that tied together Evelina's hands. Amanda let the woman sit up, and retied the knot of the rope. Amanda looked up at Evelina, surprised to find her not looking at Amanda. They were focused on something behind her, and Amanda knew who was there. She looked at two guards, and beckoned them over.

"Take Lady Evelina to the dungeons, on charge of two murders, and high treason," Amanda commanded, and the guards carried her away. Evelina didn't even protest.

"She only killed on person Amanda," said the voice of Gawain. Amanda gave a stable boy the reins to Evelina's horse, and looked back at Gawain.

"No Gawain, she killed another. In case you haven't noticed this body on my horse, you're extremely blind," Amanda answered, and turned back to her horse.

"Where is Edem?" asked her brother from the top of the stairs. Amanda looked up at him, and then patted the body.

"He is here Nicolarious," Amanda said softly. Galahad came down to her.

"I am sorry Amanda," he said to her.

"You weren't when you sent him off with me. You're just as capable of raising your hand and volunteering to accompany me as he did," Amanda said bitterly.

"I was angry at you," he said.

"Ah yes, of course. Angry at me for telling the truth," she said meanly. She noted the appearance of Arthur, and bowed deeply.

"She's in the dungeons My Lord. She will confess. Now, as you promised, I ask you to clear my name of the rude and wronged title you have given me," she said calmly. He came down to her, brushing Galahad aside, and took his place before Amanda. Amanda looked up at him.

"I'm glad to find you're looking at me again," he said.

"Please Your Highness," Amanda persisted, "relieve me of the title." Arthur reached out to touch her, but she stepped back.

"I shall return at a more appropriate time. I have a love to bury," she said, mounting her horse and preparing to ride off.

"Amanda," Arthur said.

"Forgive me Your Majesty, but you and I are in no position to speak to each other in such an informal manner," Amanda corrected him, "Mistress Marslyn is what I wish to be called by."

"Why are you behaving like this?" he asked, angered.

"I am simply completing my mission. Excuse me, my lord," she looked up at her brother, and then rode off to the undertaker.

"She's impossible!" Arthur cried.

"She's determined to achieve what she wants," Nicolarious said. Arthur looked up at him.

"She wants nothing to do with me anymore?" Arthur asked. Nicolarious shook his head.

"Not just you, Your Majesty; she wants nothing to do with any of us. We have betrayed her. She has done nothing but care for all of us in the best way she could manage, and, in turn, we allowed the love of her life to die. We have betrayed her," he repeated the first sentence, and realized what he said was exactly true. Arthur hung his head in defeat, and the rest of them saddened as quickly as they breathed.

* * *

Amanda stood at the grave, alone. No one but she and the priest had gone to Edem's funeral. There was no one else to attend. He was buried a two days after they returned to Camelot. Amanda still had much to do. She planned to leave Camelot as quickly as she had come. The house still had to be tended to, and taken down. Edem's belongings needed to be taken care of, and Amanda simply couldn't stay any longer. She couldn't do anything anymore. Not anything right anyway. She buried her face in her hands, and let herself go. The priest patted her on the shoulder, and left; as if someone had made him leave. Amanda collapsed at the grave, her arms wrapping around herself, as if hugging. Hugging to comfort herself in the total aloneness she had created for her to live in. She wept like she had never wept before, for she had loved like she had never loved before. She had loved Arthur so completely, and now he rejected her.

"Why are you crying?" asked a very feminine voice, one Amanda had longed to hear.

"Because it's all true," Amanda said.

"What is?" asked the voice.

"The talk. Or, the old talk of the people, before Lai was killed," Amanda answered.

"That Arthur loved you?" they asked.

"No, that I had loved him," Amanda corrected, and a fresh wave of emotion over came her.

"Do you still?" asked the voice, which was now much closer to Amanda.

"More than I thought. And the death of Edem has proved it. I thought I could love Edem, but I realized that my love for Edem was of that for a parent. He had protected me so," Amanda said softly. Suddenly, a pain of arms went around her, and Amanda buried herself into the frame of Lady Caia Donellia.

"Oh my darling," she said, her voice sounding choked in sadness. Amanda continued to shake and sob like a child, and Caia stroked her back. Her hands and soft cooing were comforting in Amanda's time of need. After a long while, Amanda pulled away and wiped the tears away from her blue eyes. Caia smiled at her.

"Feel better?" she asked. Amanda shook her head.

"I didn't think so. Here, come with me. We'll go see Arthur about clearing your name. They're trying Evelina today as well, I'm sure you'd feel glad to hear her confessions," Caia said. Amanda considered it. Caia pulled her up before she could see the negative aspects of the proposal, and Amanda was dragged to the palace. The hall was empty, except for a few citizens discussing things with Arthur. Caia held Amanda's hand the entire way, and Amanda felt her pride enter her system once more. Arthur looked up, and excused the citizens. Caia let go of Amanda's hand, and curtsied to her King. Arthur smiled, and cleared his throat.

"Everyone, please, give me a moment with Mistress Marslyn," he said loudly, and everyone obeyed. Caia smiled at Amanda reassuringly as she left, and Amanda stared at Arthur.

"My King," she said, curtsying.

"Why have you come to see me, milady?" he asked, formally.

"I have come to ask you of a duty no other can do entirely but you, my lord," Amanda answered.

"And what is that?" Arthur asked.

"For you to clear me of the accusations charged against me," Amanda stated, and Arthur sighed.

"You see, Mistress Marslyn, even I am not able to do that," Arthur said. Amanda truly looked at him, eyes wide with fury.

"Why the hell not?" Amanda cried, and Arthur smiled.

"Because, as of now, you have not been proven innocent. As a matter of fact, I am ordering you to stay in this palaces walls until your innocence is proven," he said. Amanda made a face of sheer anger and disbelief.

"You can not be serious Arthur!" Amanda said.

"Oh, I am very serious Amanda," he said, his green eyes smiling at her.

"I am not staying," she declared, and began to walk away. Arthur grabbed her upper arm, and pulled her back to him, their bodies touching and his face inches away from hers.

"Do not make me do something I do not want to do, Amanda," he said; deep voice stern, "I gave you an order. Friend of or enemy, I am allowed to do that."

"You are neither," Amanda hissed.

"Fine; someone you care for, or hate, I am allowed to give you orders," Arthur challenged, not releasing her arm.

"I hate you no more than you hate me," Amanda said, writhing with anger.

"So you don't hate me at all?" Arthur said, sounding relieved, "That's excellent. I thought you truly hated me."

"Don't be such an asshole Arthur," Amanda said, "I know damn well you hate me."

"Don't be a fool Amanda," he said back, matching her emotion, "You know damn well I could never hate you."

"You certainly did when I left here," Amanda protested.

"I never said I hated you," Arthur said back.

"But you never-" _said you loved me, either,_ Amanda caught herself.

"I never what?" Arthur asked.

"You never treated me like you cared either," Amanda shot, thankful for a quick mind. Suddenly, she realized, this is what he wanted. He had gotten rid of the barricade she had put between them; that formal barricade she had thought she wanted more than she wanted his love.

"Forgive me?" Arthur said his green eyes truly hurt, and sad. He was begging for her forgiveness, and Amanda wanted to give it to him. But he had hurt her so badly.

"No," Amanda said, "You've hurt me Arthur. You've accused me, taken my pride and ripped it to shreds, killed the man I loved, and used all that I've done for you against me. Do not ask for my forgiveness now. It is far too late." Arthur looked at her, and she looked firmly back. He suddenly changed into the man that had caught her kissing Joseph, and it killed Amanda. But he had killed her.

"You are to stay here," he said, letting go of her arm and stepping away. "We need you to be here when Evelina is tried. It may come down to you proving her guilty." Amanda nodded, and asked the next question without truly considering it. She just asked it.

"Did I really ruin our friendship?" she asked her voice soft and chilling. It was she question neither wanted to face. Arthur turned back to her, and thought many things. Here, the firstly, he deemed he should just go up and kiss her. Kiss her passionately and lovingly as he had longed to do for some time; and he almost did. But, her prior words echoed in his head. She hadn't forgiven him. She had lied to him as well; she had lied to _him, _the one man that had taken care of her and provided her with everything he could. Except his love. Had he loved her she wouldn't have to feel this way about him. She hadn't ruined their friendship, he had.

"No Amanda," he said, and his voice saying her name was like heaven in her ears, "you didn't ruin our friendship. As a matter of fact, I consider our friendship very much intact if you'll allow it to be. But, then again, I don't know how long we can be friends if you can't forgive me."

"Maybe I don't want to be friends with someone who hurts me," Amanda said back.

"Do you honestly think you didn't hurt me with your lies?" he shot at her. Oh how angry she made him.

"And why do you think I lied to you Arthur?" Amanda asked him.

_Because I was jealous,_ Amanda answered her own question in her mind.

"I wouldn't have if you always let your anger out on me!" Amanda said, her fists clenching into small, yet harmful balls.

"I wouldn't get so angry if you were always looking for something in me!" Arthur retorted, and Amanda faltered.

"Here we are again, Arthur! The same place almost three years ago now! And you still don't understand. But wait!" she cried, "I know what comes next! You say- lets see if I remember…ah yes- you say 'Try running a country and catering to your every need!' And then I say 'I have only asked two things of you Arthur, I never asked you for the library or the roof over my head,' which remains true to this day, mind you! And then you ask 'Do you think you could have managed any better without me then?' But here is where I'm changing something. I'll tell you one thing Arthur Castus, _King _of Briton, no I couldn't have managed any better without you financially. But I would have faired far better emotionally without you!" Amanda paused here, her fire had returned and her mind on an emotional rampage through her history with Arthur. Finally, she spoke again, "So, now is the time where I ask you one more question. The answer will end it all, happily or unhappily; that choice lies with you. Do you remember what you said to me next, Arthur Castus, because I most certainly do. Should you answer one way, I'll never leave. Answer the other way, and I'll never come back. Are you going to tell me to stay, or to get out like you did before? Are you going to let history repeat itself, or break it and make something better?" She stared at Arthur, who was blown away by her question. After a quick recovery, he stared back at Amanda, and the two stayed that was for several moments that felt like an eternity. But, they were interrupted. Evelina was marched in, guards on either side, the Knights walked behind her. Amanda was lost into the group of citizens filing in to see the trial, and Arthur resumed his throne.

Evelina, clad in a simple cotton dress, was brought before Arthur to be questioned. She didn't look at him pleadingly. She looked at him with no emotion, prepared to face her inevitable doom.

"Evelina Turuelli, accused of killing two people, and plotting against the King to overtake the throne. Are you guilty of what is charged against you?" Arthur asked.

"Yes sire," Evelina answered.

"For the death of Edem Ferbuoin?" Arthur asked.

"Yes sire."

"For plotting against me, King of Briton?" Arthur asked.

"Yes sire."

"And what did this plot consist of?" Arthur asked.

"Your murder and the over taking of the throne for the better rule of Briton," Evelina answered proudly.

"And did you form this plot by yourself?" Arthur asked.

"No sire."

"With whom then?" Arthur questioned, curiously.

"With Adonis Gregili, my sister, Aalya Turuelli," Amanda darted her eyes to Gawain, who flushed, "and Gurshoin Ratonus." Amanda darter her eyes back at Arthur, whose eyes were the only thing to reveal his shock.

"And are you guilty to the murder of Lai, Queen of Briton?" Arthur asked.

"Technically, yes sire." Evelina answered.

"Technically?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, I was trying to kill another, but Her Majesty took the knife instead."

"And who were you trying to kill?" Arthur asked.

"Amanda Marslyn." Arthur looked at Amanda, and she looked back. She felt all the Knights eyes upon her, and she raised an eyebrow, as if to say, 'I wasn't lying.'

* * *

She didn't need to be asked anymore questions; it was painstakingly obvious that she had committed the crimes and would plead no other way than guilty.

"Evelina Turuelli, you are quite clearly guilty of these charges, by my own findings, and plead none other than guilty. At your trial two days ago, you were sentenced to death, by way of lynching. You shall be lynched until you can breathe no more, and are dead. May God have mercy on your corrupted soul." The entire city was crowded around the platform. From it hung a rope, tied to be a noose, in which Evelina's pale neck would be hung from. She just happened to be on the very platform Arthur proposed to her on. Amanda flashed her blue eyes up to the spot where she had fainted; a day that seemed so far from this one. She averted her attention back to the platform. She was in the very front, and she was determined to make herself watch the very death of the villain; she had taken so much from Amanda.

Evelina seemed hopelessly calm, her hands at her sides, and shivering in the long sleeved, cotton dress she wore. The spring rain was coming, and the wind was chilling Evelina to the bone. Amanda smiled. A priest read a passage from the Bible, and Evelina was brought forward to the noose.

"'Only Jesus Christ has the power to save'," the voice of the priest sounded in the background, and it was as if it were her cue. Evelina punched the undertaker off her, and jumped down from the platform, looking Amanda right in the eye.

"I'm going to finish what I came here to do," she hissed, and charged Amanda, a dagger slipping out from her sleeve and aimed at Amanda's heart. Amanda, however, was ready for her. She grabbed Evelina's wrist, so the dagger went down Amanda's body, reopening the scar she already had. Evelina let go of the dagger, and Amanda caught it. Everyone back off from the two.

"You have failed Evelina. Something better has come along," Amanda spat, thrusting the dagger into Evelina's stomach. Evelina stumbled backwards, and Amanda felt a horrible rush to her head. Her vision clouded, but she made no sign of it. She focused on Evelina crashing to the ground, and her brilliant face ceasing to bear emotion; ceasing to live. Amanda smiled triumphantly, and saw a new figure coming at her. Her expression changed to that of a confused, and defensive one, but the arms of the figure went around her.

"Amanda," they called, their voice so distant from her ears, "Amanda, stay here with me. Amanda…"

It all went black.

* * *

I'm on a roll! **The sarahnater:** I appreciate your reviews so much. And keep hoping, you never know what will happen now. **FFMasquerade2005:** I am glad to hear from you! When you didn't comment on last chapter I was afraid I lost you with my disappearance. And I thank you for giving me such a compliment; it truly made me blush. It makes me never want to stop writing when you guys say things like that. Keep reading and I'll keep writing. 


	22. Impossible Forgiveness

Chapter 22: Impossible Forgiveness

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Arthur or his Knights, or Camelot, but Amanda and all related characters are mine.

Note: Authors thanks at the end.

* * *

He caught her in his arms as her body went limp and she slipped into unconsciousness. Arthur called out her name a few times, but Amanda didn't respond. Her put and arm under her knees and lifted her up into his arms.

"Someone find the Caretaker!" he shouted. People began to crowd around him and Amanda, and he hugged her closer to him. He dashed into the palace gates, and the guards were quick to close them behind him. Arthur bound up the steps, cradling Amanda's body in his arms.

"What happened?" the Caretaker asked, meeting Arthur in the hall.

"She fell unconscious," Arthur answered his hands reluctant to hand her over to the man that could save her life.

"She has a large bruise on the side of her face, tell me exactly what happened before she went under," the Caretaker demanded.

"Evelina went at her with a knife, and Amanda grabbed her arm and took the dagger away from Evelina. She killed her," Arthur said, her actions taking full affect on him now. Amanda was still partially in his arms, and he looked down at her paling face.

"Come, we have to get her to my rooms," the Caretaker said.

* * *

Arthur looked out the window at the heavily falling snow, and he went back to Amanda. He wrapped the blankets more tightly around her helpless body, trying to keep her warm. He was tired, and his unshaven face was pale from lack of light. He hadn't changed his clothes in weeks; he couldn't bear to leave her. Every time he thought she was gone, she moved and groaned lowly, giving him another breath of hope that would last for a long while. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his usual spot, and held her hand, his giant thumb stroking her small fingers for his own comfort. He had almost dozed off when she stirred, moving her head violently from left to right and moaning.

"Arthur," she called, her voice sounding frightened and weak.

"Amanda," he said back, leaning over her. She whimpered and a small tear escaped her closed lids. Then, she went still again. Arthur lifted her lightening frame to him and held her for a long while.

"Don't you leave me too, young lady. If you do I won't know what to do with myself. I can't live with another one dead. First Guinevere, then Lai, and maybe you. Amanda, you can't go, please, stay here for a little longer," he whispered to her, his lips grazing the side of her head tenderly.

"What are you going to do if she does wake up?" asked the voice of Nicolarious.

"Love her until the day I die," Arthur answered, resting his rough cheek against her soft, fair one.

"You are already doing the Arthur," Nicolarious argued.

"No, I'll make her my wife and Queen," Arthur said, "and repay her every ounce of affection, and caring she's ever given me. No matter how long it takes. With you as my witness."

"I will be very upset with you Arthur if you don't do this," Nicolarious said back. Arthur began to think.

"I have to make her love me first Nick," Arthur said, "don't I?" Nicolarious laughed.

"Oh yes. You'll have to make her love you again," Nicolarious replied.

"Again?" Arthur asked, looking away from Amanda, and at her brother. Nicolarious smirked and wheeled himself from the room.

"Oops," he said, just loud enough for Arthur to hear him.

* * *

Amanda shivered and pulled the quilted blankets up to her chin, and she shifted her head from one side to the other. Her head throbbed and one of her arms was colder than the other.

"Is there a hole in this blanket?" she asked, her throat dry and her voice raspy.

"Amanda?" asked a deep, distant voice. Amanda opened her eyes, and looked down to her arm. Her vision was blurred, but she could make out a brown head kneeling next to the bed she was on. Their hands were over hers, and as she wiggled her fingers, she found them interlaced with whoever this was. She blinked repeatedly, and slowly, her vision returned. But, it didn't clear fast enough for her to see just who had been holding her hand, for they had run from the room shouting. She rubbed her head, and then stared at her hand. Shivering again, she put it under the blankets, and looked outside. It was snowing, heavily, and white blobs passed the window of hers.

She looked around, and tried to recognize where she was. Galahad came into the room beaming; he jumped onto the bed and kissed Amanda on the cheek and on the forehead.

"Galahad," she said, raspy voiced, "please!"

"I love you Amanda Marslyn, you are my best friend. I am going to kiss you as many times as I'd like. You were unconscious for so long, and I was so worried, I can't help but do this. I missed you!" He cried, and Amanda's head spun.

"I was unconscious?" she asked.

"Yes, don't you remember?" Galahad asked.

"Of course she wouldn't," said Bors, "she wasn't awake for it." Amanda let out a raspy laugh, and smiled.

"Well, you passed out after you killed Evelina," Galahad said. Amanda thought hard.

"Yes, I remember that bit. Oh, I don't want to think about her. How long have I been out?" she asked.

"Coming on three weeks now," said the voice of her brother, who came forward in Gawains' arms. Amanda darted her weary eyes from her brother to Gawain, and back to her brother. Then, another body entered the room, and Amanda craned her neck to see who it was. When she saw him, she drew back in surprise from his appearance, and then kept her eyes away from his. He was unshaven, and totally distraught.

_Probably over Evelina,_ Amanda thought to herself.

"Excuse us gentlemen," said a firm, yet musical voice came from the door.

"Who is that?" Amanda asked, not being able to recognize the voice. Then, a girl came forward, with beautiful mahogany curls and bright smile. Amanda studied her for a long time, and thought about her familiar face.

"Don't you remember who she is Amanda?" Arthur asked her softly, but Amanda ignored his crooning voice.

"Caia? Caia Donellia?" Amanda asked, embarrassed that she had to ask, and for her hoarse voice.

"Yes my dear girl," Caia answered, and smiled even wider. Amanda smiled and held out her arms for her friend to come to her.

"As I was saying, excuse us gentlemen, my friend and I need to have a talk in private," Caia said, and she watched them all go and close the door before she spoke again.

"How are you feeling darling?" she asked Amanda.

"I've been better," Amanda answered.

"Here," said Caia, pouring her a glass of water, "you sound awful." Amanda took the cup thankfully and downed the water quickly. She smiled at the relief it brought to her throat, and she put the cup on a side table.

"Thank you," she said, her voice still slightly strained, but clearer and more normal.

"You needed it," Caia answered.

"Caia," Amanda began, "why does Arthur look so terrible?" Caia smirked at her.

"He's been occupied," Caia answered.

"With the death of Evelina, I'm sure," Amanda commented bitterly.

"Oh my dear, you have got it all wrong. Do you know who has been taking care of you all this time up here?" Caia asked her.

"My brother, naturally, and Galahad," Amanda answered surly.

"You would leave your unconscious body with a boy who can't walk and another boy who was too weepy to pick himself up off the floor. No, dear girl, there was only one person in this room for weeks, and that was Arthur. He never left your side Amanda, not once. Never have I known him to be so loyal to anyone after Pelagius," she explained, and Amanda sat in her bed dumbstruck.

"You can't be serious," Amanda said after several moments. Caia looked up away at the opening door, and Amanda darted her eyes over to find Arthur standing there, looking much better than before. He had changed his tunic, and he held himself more normally. Amanda looked away, and a gesture passed between he friend and her king that eventually left to Caia leaving and Amanda being alone with Arthur. Arthur came over as Amanda fiddled with the sheets of her bed. He sat down on the empty space, feet on the floor and body angled so he could look at her. Up close, he looked even better. He had straightened out some of his formerly unruly hair, and he had washed his worn face. Amanda longed to press a comforting hand against his worried and tired face, and envelope him in a true loving comfort that he had gone long without. She wanted desperately to let him close his bloodshot and tired eyes and tell him everything would be fine. But she couldn't, and she wouldn't because it would be improper and unorthodox. More importantly, she would be hurt after he rejected her. Hurt wasn't something she could go through again right now.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly.

"Well, thank you," Amanda answered.

"You must have an awful headache," he said.

"No, I don't really. I feel very calm, and slightly confused. But thank you for your concern," she said.

_Keep him an arms length away, _Amanda told herself, _that way you can't get hurt. Arms length…_

"Why are you being so stiff?" Arthur asked.

"I'm not in the most comfortable situation," Amanda said, raising her eyebrows to her hands.

"Why? You and I have known each other for the longest time. There isn't any reason for you to be uncomfortable around me," he said. This was unbelievable. Amanda looked at him, and got out of the bed, much against Arthur's protests.

"There are many reasons why I should feel uncomfortable Arthur! For one, I've just awoken from a coma that has lasted almost three weeks! Secondly, I've killed somebody! Not just anybody, the woman you were going to marry at one point and that you truly cared for! Thirdly, the last time we spoke we were in the same position we were in almost three years ago! And lastly, I'm standing in front of my King in my night dressings! Hardly appropriate to be looked at in!" Amanda cried, exasperated, and suddenly dizzy. She held her forehead, and Arthur was quick to come to her side.

"Here, sit down. Take a rest," he said, sitting her down. Amanda didn't object, and she sat. She looked up at him, and he looked back.

"You, taking an order?" he said to himself, and then made a face. Amanda changed her expression to one of annoyance, and shook her head.

"There you are," she heard him say quietly; almost disappointed. Then, he kneeled down in front of her, and put both his hands on her shoulders. Amanda fought to keep her composure from wavering, and she looked him in the eye.

"What happened between Evelina and I doesn't matter. She was a horrible person, and you were supposed to kill her. If God wanted it any other way he would have made it so, so don't worry about defending yourself, and your country. Had you not put an end to Evelina' madness, then she would have kept taking the things that were dear to us. Our country views you as a real hero, and they will hold you in their hearts as one forever. As for your night dressings, I don't really care. But, if it would make you feel better, I promise you that I won't look at you while I'm in here for now. When I leave you can change. And lastly, Amanda I have cared for many people in my life. The last time we spoke, and even three years ago, I wanted to express how much I care for you. You are very dear to me, and your loss would be far greater than anyone I have ever known. Greater than Evelina, greater than Lai, greater than Lancelot, and Tristan, and Dagonet. Even greater than Guinevere. Please, forgive me. I wrongly accused you, and I should have believed you from the start," said Arthur, and Amanda heard him from a distance. Yet, when she heard him apologize, she was called back from a daze and looked at him sharply.

"Don't apologize to me!" she snapped, "Go and apologize to Edem's grave." Amanda instantly covered her mouth with her small pale hand, and she flushed. Arthur broke their gaze for the first time, and he looked down self-consciously.

"I am so sorry Arthur," she said, putting a hand on the side of his face, "I wasn't expecting for me to say that. Please, forgive me." He was hurt, she could see it in his face.

"Have you ever thought that maybe we keep winding up where we were because of what _you _say?" he asked, bitterness in his voice.

"Have you ever asked yourself that question?" Amanda asked him, tearing away her hand and putting up her defense.

"God! You are so impossible!" he shouted, standing up and looking down at her. Amanda rose too, and felt herself go red with anger.

"Well, I only learned from the best Arthur!" Amanda shouted.

"I cannot deal with you right now!" he said, "You stubborn mule!" Amanda let out a shriek of anger and as Arthur made his way to the door, she picked up her empty cup and threw it at the wall.

"You royal pain in the ass!" Amanda cried. Arthur looked back at her, a crinkle of amusement in the corner of his eyes before he closed the door.

* * *

Nicolarious was still in Gawain's arms as they listened outside the door.

"Everything seems to be going well. They're being sweet to each other," Nicolarious whispered to Gawain.

"I know, I hope- wait, what did she say?" Nicolarious looked at Gawain and his eyes widened.

"God!.." they heard from inside the room. Nicolarious listened intently, and he closed his eyes in anger. Then, Gawain snapped away as they heard a crash against the wall. He stood against the opposite wall as Arthur came out of the girls room, a smile coming onto his face, and he chuckled with amusement.

"Did she just throw something at you?" Gawain asked.

"Yes, she threw it next to my head," Arthur answered, his smile widening.

"And you're laughing about that?" Nicolarious asked.

"Nick, I have to tell you that your sister has an awful temper," Arthur laughed, "And yet she's no worse than me. I need to apologize to her, but I think she isn't going to let me near her until a fortnight from now. Ah, what a handful, how did you ever manage?"

"I don't know. I never made her as angry as you do," Nicolarious answered as Gawain followed in suite to Arthur.

"Well, I wouldn't care for her the way I do if she was any different," Arthur said, positively beaming.

* * *

**Authors Thanks: **I love reviews, I really do. **the sarahnater: **Sorry this wasn't a next day chapter. I wish it could have been. I also hope this satisysfies your need for now. **FFAMasquerade2005:** Well, at least she's not guilty in his eyes anymore. And it wasn't Nicolarious for one main reason, he can't walk. I thought about it, it came down to the two of them, but that's why it wasn't him. **janell: **I'm so glad you liked Nick's little speech, I was aching to write that for a long time. And what would life be if Evelina didn't get in one more fight? I had to let Amanda kill her, and that seemed the bast way.

Review!


	23. Miracles Make the Best Gifts

Chapter 23: Miracles Make the Best Gifts

Disclaimer: I don't own Arthur, or the remaining knights. Anyone not a part ion the movie is mine. No, you can't use them.

Note: Authors thanks at end. Enjoy!

* * *

Arthur's assumption was correct. Amanda, ashamed for throwing the glass at Arthur, and fighting with him, avoided the man for a fortnight and a day. She enjoyed herself however, spending hours with Nicolarious, Caia, and Ambrose. She avoided the knights as well, figuring she was the last thing they wanted. If there was anyone she avoided more than Arthur, however, it would have been Gawain. Every time he managed even a limb into her line of vision, his harsh "What are you still doing here?" rang in her ears. She planned on never having to hold a conversation with the man again, and she thought he was planning the same.

Yet, a fortnight and a day later, Amanda woke up in the best of moods, and walked down to breakfast rather cheerily. Entering the Round Table room, she beamed at the men, and walked over to her brother. Kissing the top of his head and hugging him ruggedly, the table stared at her in utter confusion.

"Happy birthday my dear brother," she said to him, giving him one last squeeze. Sitting down next to him, she glowed in her own joy. Nicolarious thanked her, and a chorus of "Happy Birthdays" followed Amanda's.

_Did they forget?_ She asked herself in the randomness of it, but the breakfast table seemed to lighten in mood. Taking her normal seat, she smiled at Jols as he placed her plate in front of her

"Thank you Jols," she said faintly.

"You're welcome Amanda," he replied. Pulling all her curls to her left shoulder, Amanda then picked up her fork and began to eat. General chatter filled the room, and Amanda partially listened, and partially thought of her gift for Nicolarious. She had bought it a week before Lai and Arthur wed, and she was very proud of herself. She thought it was wonderful; and no one could get angry at her over it. Taking another bite of her ham, she looked up at her brother, who was laughing about something. She smiled admiringly at him, and then picked up her cup. Jols cam over and filled it with water, and she smiled at him.

"Amanda," said Galahad, and she averted her attention to him, "I haven't seen you smile so in such a long time." Amanda took a sip of her water, and looked down at the table.

"Don't stop," said a soft voice to her left. Amanda snapped her head up, looking for the source. The only one to her left was Gawain.

"Don't stop what?" she asked, confused.

"Smiling," he said softly, almost as a plea. Amanda was flattered, and she wanted to throw her arms around him, but then remembered what he had said, and the knife that seemed to have disappeared dug deeper into her ribs. She didn't know what to do; she was caught between sweet acceptance and bitter remorse. She held his brown-eyed gaze for a few moments, but didn't smile. Then, she looked away, and returned to her food. She was suddenly aware of all the eyes on her, and the pressure was bearing down. Looking back up across the table, at Bors, and then to Galahad, she knitted her brow.

_This is not your day Amanda, _She reminded herself. Looking at Nicolarious, she smiled happily at him, and rose.

"Would you like your gift now or later?" she asked him. Nicolarious' face went up in instant joy, like the child he is.

"Now!" he said excitedly, "Please," he added as a last minuet manner. Amanda laughed.

"Well hurry up and finish your breakfast and then you'll get it," she said. Nicolarious began shoveling food into his mouth, and Amanda watched him. The others were rising and finishing their breakfasts as well. Arthur was the last to rise, and stopped at Amanda's side before going. Looking up at him, Amanda let the smile slip away. He leaned down to her.

"When you get a moment," he said, the warmth of his breath rushing against the skin of her ear and neck, "I'd like to speak to you." He pulled away a little, in front of her face, and she nodded in agreement. He smiled, and walked out of the room.

"I'm finished!" Nicolarious declared as Arthur was walking out, and Amanda took a hold of the back of his chair. Wheeling him out of the Round Table Room, she headed to the library.

* * *

Amanda smiled with Nicolarious as he admired his gift. It was book of maps that Arthur had special ordered for Amanda for this occasion.

"It's called an atlas," Amanda explained, "It's all the places in the world. I know how much you love going out with Gawain and Galahad, so I thought this would be good for you."

"Since I can't walk," he said bitterly.

"Nicolarious Marslyn, don't say such things," Amanda scolded.

"But, Amanda, I can't walk," he said, his tone of voice changing to matter-of-factly.

"Nick, if you really wanted to, you could walk. And for the record, be thankful you weren't killed by that fall," she said firmly.

"Scolding the boy on his birthday?" asked someone from the doorway. Amanda looked up to see Arthur, grinning rather stupidly, as he relaxed his weight against the wall.

"I wasn't scolding him," Amanda said.

"Yes you were," Nicolarious countered. Amanda shot him a look that read, "Be quiet".

"He agrees with me," Arthur said.

"I was reminding him to be thankful," Amanda explained. Nicolarious coughed into his sleeve, which ironically sounded like the word "scolding". Amanda felt the urge to hit him, but restrained herself knowing she would only be further teased by the two for hitting. Arthur smiled at Amanda, and Amanda rolled her eyes.

"Nick," said Arthur, "your gift from the knights and I is in the hall. Galahad will take you to it." Galahad came forward and took Nicolarious by the chair, pushing him out of the room. When they had gone, Arthur closed the door behind them, and he faced Amanda.

"You always seem to find a way," Amanda said, sitting down in one of the chairs at the table.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Arthur questioned, his voice subtly confused.

"You're impatient," Amanda answered bluntly. To her surprise, she raised her eyes to find Arthur nodding in agreement.

"Yes, I'd say I'm impatient. As are you," he said. Amanda smiled at his game, and leaned back into the chair.

"What did you want to speak to me about?" she asked. Arthur sat across the table from her, as if to get right down to business; a very long business.

"I didn't ensure this when you came back with Evelina, after her trial, but is what she said true? About Gurshoin and Aalya?" he asked her. Amanda nodded.

"Yes, it is," she said shifting her weight. She felt her wound object, but let no sign of it show. The slash across her chest, and re-opened scar was still in the healing process. Arthur sighed, comprehending what was said in the past.

"Is that it?" Amanda asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"No," he answered, looking at her, "I would like to continue the conversation that we were having before I declared I couldn't deal with you. And the glass," he faded off, amusement in the corners of his eyes.

"Ah," Amanda said, nodding, "I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have thrown the glass."

"You're not impossible," Arthur said, speaking at the same time Amanda had. The two stopped speaking, thinking about what the other had said.

"Yes I am," Amanda countered.

"Yes, you should have. You were angry," Arthur said, as they spoke at the same time again. Amanda laughed softly, and gestured for him to continue.

"You had every right to throw the glass," he said.

"And I am impossible. You should think of me that way," Amanda said, after he finished. Then, a silence befell the two. Amanda stared at her hands, and Arthur looked out the window.

"Alright," Amanda said, breaking the silence, "listen Arthur. I'm sorry about what I said, recalling what happened a long time ago. You know that I like leaving things in the past, and I don't know came over me when I brought it up. Again, I apologize, and I should have respected you more. You are my king, above all things, and I should treat you as such." Amanda rose, and left the room, breathing deeply in order to calm herself down. She walked rather slowly, hoping he'd come after her.

_This is it Amanda,_ she told herself. _It's meant to be if he comes after you. If he comes after you, you're going to tell him how you feel and that you always have. If he calls your name, you'll love him forever._ She walked, her heartbeat speeding up, and her doubt growing with each step. She wanted to turn her head so badly, and see if he was at least there watching her, but she wouldn't let herself. Her blue eyes closed, and her bottom lip tucked itself neatly underneath her upper teeth. Her head bent down, and her breathing got shallower.

"Amanda!" she heard him call. She stopped, and her head shot back upright. She turned slowly to see him coming towards her. She let a small smile play on her lips, and she waited for him. When he got closer, she stopped smiling, and raised her eyebrows to him.

"Yes sire?" she asked.

"Please don't," he said.

"Sorry," she said.

"Stop, will you? Everything is not your fault. For God's sake girl, stop apologizing to me. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. I should have listened to you Amanda; I never should have accused you of Lai's murder. I know how close you were to her, and you're not a killer. You're a lover, if anything. I'm sorry for taking advantage of that, and then betraying you. We all are, the knights and I. Come with me," he said, taking her hand and heading upstairs. He took her past his room, and out on to the wall.

"Arthur, what are you doing?" Amanda asked, as she followed him. Looking out over the city, the bustle of everyday life was well into progress. A few people spotted their king, and then Amanda, and began waving. Arthur waved back when he had a multitude of attention, and then he silenced them. Amanda gave him a confused look, and he smiled at her.

"People of Camelot!" he began, "This woman is not a murderer!" Amanda looked at him, and tried to pull him back.

"Arthur, you don't have to do this," she said softly.

"Yes I do," he said back, "She's trying to tell me I don't have to do this, but I do. You all deserve to know what this woman is like! She wouldn't harm a person if she could help it-" but he was interrupted.

"You're Majesty!" cried a voice of a young person, possibly a child.

"Yes my dear?" Arthur asked the young girl. Amanda searched for, and then spotted her. She was a pale, brown eyed blonde, with scrawny arms, and chubby cheeks.

"She is our hero!" She shouted, and the crowed roared in agreement. Amanda felt herself blush, and Arthur took his hand out her hers, and put it around her waist. She looked away from the crowd, and up at Arthur.

"You've changed history Amanda. And now, it's my turn to do so. Amanda Marslyn, please stay. I think I would crawl into absolute darkness if you ever left again, please don't ever leave us all here again," he said softly, pleading with her. All Amanda could manage was a smile.

"I won't," she said very softly, and feared he hadn't heard her, "I won't Arthur." Arthur smiled, and the two stood close to each other.

"Arthur! Amanda! Come quick! It's Nicolarious!" cried Galahad at the doorway. Amanda snapped back from Arthur, and raced out the door. Arthur was at her side.

"Arthur, how is it that you manage to take my mind off every other living being in the land?" she asked, as she went down the stairs, skipping two at a time.

"I have more power than I thought I suppose," he said. Amanda rolled her eyes, and sped up to the great hall. Tearing through the doors, she looked wildly around. Then, she spotted him, near the end of the table. Her hands went to her mouth, and she smiled through on coming tears. Nicolarious smiled at her, and let go of the table.

"Tada!" he said. He was standing, and smiling brighter than she had seen him in ages. Amanda walked towards him.

"Wait!" he said, holding up his hand. Amanda stopped dead in her tracks. Nicolarious took a deep breath and put an unsteady foot before the other. Amanda held her breath as Nicolarious slowly, and unsurely walked to her, and all the time she secretly thanked God. When he got half way, he stumbled and started to fall forward. Amanda come quick to his side, and was surprised to find Arthur there with her. Setting Nicolarious down in a chair, she then proceeded to shower the boy in kisses.

"I am so proud of you Nicolarious Marslyn," Amanda said to him, looking him in the eye.

"Amanda?" Nicolarious asked.

"Yes?" she answered.

"When will you tell him?" he asked.

"Tell who what darling?" she asked, not understanding him.

"Arthur," he whispered, "about how much you love him?" Amanda shook her head, but smiled in spite of herself.

"Soon, my dear brother, soon," she answered, and hoped it to be so.

As the excitement died down, and Nicolarious was taken to the Caretakers wing to be examined, the group went their separate ways; Bors to find his children, Galahad and Gawain to the troops, Arthur with Kylian to attend to his duties, and Amanda to wander. Yet, in her wanderings, Amanda met up with Caia, and the two enjoyed each others company. They were walking by the Round Table Room when Anys came up to them.

"Lady Amanda! Lady Amanda!" the girl cried, almost out of breath.

"Anys calm down, what is it?" Amanda asked. Anys clasped her hands, and began pulling Amanda.

"Your room…Mysterious…have to see it!" she spoke in fragments, from lack of breath and pure excitement. Amanda no longer resisted the tugging and dragging of Anys, and allowed herself to be brought to her room in great haste. Caia followed suit, curiosity at the mention of Mysterious. When they finally reached Amanda's room, Anys opened the door to an unbelievable site. Her mouth dropped, and her eyes widened in utter shock. As she stepped into the room, the fragrance hit her like a wall, but such a lovely smell it was. In every spot she looked, there were masses of Gardenia flowers. Amanda spun totally around, and they were every where. Then, looking to her vanity, there was a mark in the mass of white. A single red rose sat on her vanity next to a rolled up parchment, and a small blue egg. Racing to the parchment, she slid off the red ribbon, and unrolled it as fast as she could.

"Read it to us!" Anys begged, and Amanda turned to them, beaming.

"'My dearest Amanda, you most certainly have become the center of attention once again. I pray you don't mind the smell of Gardenias. I thank you for your apology, for you have once caused me all anger, anguish, pain, trouble, hurt, and all related miseries. You cause me anger because I know I may never have you. You cause me anguish when you are so unhappy, and I can do nothing for you. You cause me pain when you are angry with me; it's most unbearable. You cause me trouble because you say and do such things most _men _wouldn't dream of doing, and I seem to support you no matter what. For a man of my stature, it's unacceptable. You cause me hurt because you feel as no one loves you, and you feel you deserve to be treated that way. I am returning the ring that rightfully belongs to you, and you were correct when you left; you were no longer an object of my affection. You never were an object of my affection. You were, and remain to this day, the center of my world and my life, as a human. Please, accept this ring as a token of my undying love. And finally, for the time being, we shall meet in heaven. For how can God not take back his most amazing creation?'" she read, her blue eyes brightening, her cheeks pink, and entire soul lighter with a joy she had missed for so long.

"Oh dear," said Anys, "what a man."

* * *

I apologize for having taking so long to complete this chapter. And alas, I am going away on vacation tomorrow morning, so you can see how vital it was for me to update before I left. I hope you all enjoyed this, now review and leave me lovely surprises for when I get back. **La argentinita: **I think his ass is completely gone now. But, just you wait, my dear friend. He'll be skin and bones before long. wink wink **Janell:** I hope this chapter was what you were hoping for. I tried to incorporate everything. **The sarahnater: **Sorry I haven't updated heaps, and this didn't come so soon. I hope you can forgive me, and I hope you enjoyed this semi-heap. **FFAMasquerade2005: **I'm glad I was able to make your day better, and I know just how those finals go. My high school ones were what was keeping me from writing. They can't just admit to each other that they love each other so freakin' much because then I'd have nothing to write about, and nothing more to torment you all. It'll be soon, I think… 


	24. Cold Water

Chapter 24: Cold Water

Disclaimer: I own none of the movie characters, just the ones I made up on my own.

Note: At last. Hope I didn't lose any of you guys. I'm very sorry.

* * *

After the reading of Mysterious' note, Amanda entered a well hidden light heartedness that she enjoyed. The cold winter weather returned, and the habitants of Camelot retreated to their warm fires and homes. Those inside the palace walls sometimes walked around with blankets wrapped around them. Amanda liked the cold though, and always had enjoyed the winter chill. Being an old romantic at heart, no matter how cynical she seemed on the surface, winter gave her the chance to bundle up next to the fire around those she loved. As the cold days passed, she and Arthur were at an ease with each other that had almost a permanent air about it. Spending their time together, and returning to their old friendship, the castle was at some peace without the yelling of their voices.

On one of these chilled afternoons, the group was at lunch, and Amanda was in a particularly good mood. She sat in her seat, waiting for her dish while the others chatted, staring at her ring, daydreaming about Mysterious and who he was. Her eyes studied the many prisms of the sapphire, it's eluding depths just as befuddling as the man who gave it to her.

"Amanda," said a voice. Amanda looked up from her hand, and searched for the source. Meeting the eyes of Verona, she smiled in response.

"Yes?"

"That is a lovely piece of jewelry. Where did you get it?" Verona asked, admiring the stone and it's set.

"It was a gift. For my birthday," Amanda answered honestly.

"From who?" asked Gawain, taking her hand in his and staring at the ring, "No one I know could afford this." Amanda smirked, looking around at the faces, taking her hand gently back, and shrugging.

"I don't know who he is," Amanda answered softly, slightly embarrassed.

"Amanda," said Gawain, who looked at her with a particular interest and twinkling eye, "do you have an admirer that we don't know about?" Amanda blushed slightly, and shrugged once again.

"I suppose I do Gawain," she said, her eyes darting to Galahad, who had a somewhat triumphant smile on his face.

"Well, well, well," chimed in Nicolarious, who smiled at his sister.

"Your birthday was so long ago," said Bors.

"I know, but this isn't the first time I've worn it? Haven't you all noticed?" Amanda asked them, shocked that Knights didn't notice something this change.

"I didn't!" exclaimed Galahad, who looked at Arthur, "Did you notice Arthur?"

Arthur shook his head, "First time my attentions been called to it." Amanda rolled her eyes, and picked up her fork, beginning her lunch. As a few of them laughed, and the talking continued, a soldier came into the room, practically sprinting.

"Sire!" he exclaimed, and Arthur looked up.

"Yes?"

"Come quick," he panted, "its Lady Donellia. She's fallen into the lake beyond the trees!" Amanda's eyes widened and she jumped up, first out the door as her heart rate sped up. The thought of her dear friend in peril was drastic, and her legs pumped as fast as they could in order to reach the lake to aid her. As she skipped two steps at a time down the front stairs of the palace, the soles of her shoes landed hard against the hard, frozen earth. Dodging peasants and citizens, Amanda pushed her way out of the market and out of the wall to get on the path that led away from the city. Breathing hard, and her curls bouncing like mad behind her, Amanda's mind slowed to one thought.

_Ice_.

Caia must have fallen through the ice on the lake.

_But what was she doing on the ice?_

It didn't matter. All Amanda knew was that she had to Caia before she drowned and froze. She didn't look behind her to see who was there, but she knew that the men were close behind her.

* * *

Arthur stared at her speeding figure as she tore through the snow on the ground in order to save her friend. The cold air was harsh on his lungs, and his skin stung with the chill. His heart raced as he followed Amanda down the path to the lake. Caia had been his friend for so many years, but now he was puzzled.

"Why was she on the ice?" asked Bors in broken English as he ran next to Arthur down the slippery path.

"Bors," asked Arthur, "how it is you know what I'm thinking in my mind at the same moment?"

* * *

Amanda had reached the banks of the lake. She had out run the others, and could see the hole where Caia had fallen in. It was a large hole, and the ice had cracked around it. Caia was splashing around, yelling into the bitter air. Amanda looked beside her at Arthur's guards.

"Why are none of you out there trying to help her?" she demanded.

"The ice milady. It's fragile," answered one of them. Amanda huffed, and looked back out to the ice. That determined stare flecked in the deep blue depths of her eyes, and for a moment she was reminded of Edem. She knew what he would want her to do.

He watched her from across the lake, his fist up, which silenced the troops behind him. A single sound from them would cost them their life. Should the enemy hear his troops, all could be lost.

"Come on Amanda," he said to himself softly, "save Caia."

He could just see the tiny figure across the lake. She was thinking about it. He signaled for an archer to come forth.

* * *

Amanda placed her foot out onto the ice. The soles of her shoes slid instantly, and she struggled to keep her balance. Stepping back off the ice, she took her shoes off, and walked back out on to the ice. It's cold hitting against her feet and toes, making her shiver. But, she couldn't stop now. Caia was about 200 yards out, and fading fast.

"I'm coming Caia! Try and grab on to the ice!" she cried, as she hurried along the ice, trying to hold up the back of her dress.

"Amanda! What are you doing?" she had Arthur cry out to her, and she turned while running.

"What does it look like I'm doing Arthur?" she replied, turning her head back and running even faster. Sliding forward on her knees, she reached the hole, and Caia was no longer splashing about. She wasn't even on the surface. Amanda had a trillion thoughts go through her mind, all of them horrifying and sad. If she lost Caia, it would be too much for her to handle. Her spirit would break into two, and her body would break before she let something happen. Like she had let something happen to Edem.

"Caia!" she screamed, putting her hands into the ice water, searching for a body, "Caia!" Pulling her arms out of the water, she looked around in some panic. Then, her eyes turning back to stare at the black water, she pushed her body in.

* * *

Arthur headed out on to the ice, his knights following him out on the ice. Arthur watched Amanda slide forward to the hole, and he heard her scream Caias' name. But, he didn't expect her to dive into the water. Yet, she did, and he gasped.

"She's out of her bloody mind," he said, and sped forth. Gawain cursed as he saw her disappear beneath the iced surface, and he promised himself he would save her if it came to it. All of them were promising it to themselves because she had saved them so many times.

* * *

Plummeting in to the water, Amanda froze for a moment upon impact. Letting the water envelope her, she opened her eyes and looked around. The lake was clear, and Amanda could see to the bottom. Swimming down, she looked for Caia. Blowing a small amount of bubbles out of her nose, she kept going. The temperatures made it hard on her muscles to move, and she repeatedly closed her eyes. In one sweeping look at the bottom of the lake, she saw beautiful Caia. She used all of her might to reach her. Grabbing her waist, Amanda pulled her friend up to her chest. She shook Caia to try and wake her, but knew she needed air. Pushing off from the sand, she swam again towards the surface, seeing the faint sun through the hole. She could feel her lungs constricting, and her legs tightening from loss of air. She was so close to the top, and all she needed was to hold out for one more moment.

_One more moment Amanda,_ she pleaded with herself, _one more._

Bursting up through the surface, Amanda gasped at the frozen air. Instantly, there were voices. She pushed Caia up onto the ice, and the knights took her aside. Inhaling deeply, trying to catch her breath, Amanda leaned back into the water.

"How's the water?" Arthur asked.

"Lovely," she answered, swimming forward. He pulled her up into his lap, and wrapped his cloak around her. Drying off her feet, he put her shoes back on her icy, and blue feet.

"Please Arthur, I'm not the one who needs this," Amanda said, going forward to Caia and draping it over her body. The Knights then lifted Caia up to bring her back to the castle.

"You foolish girl," Arthur said, wrapping an arm around her to keep her warm.

"Yes, I know. What else is new really?" Amanda said. Arthur shook his head, and the two hurried forward. But, she stopped, and Arthur looked back at her.

"What is it?" he asked. Amanda turned and looked into the woods at the opposite banks.

"Something isn't right Arthur," she answered.

Just then, an arrow flew from those woods and fell at Amanda's feet.

"Arthur!" cried the voice of Galahad, "Caia has an arrow wound!"

Amanda spun around, taking Arthurs' hand and ran as fast as her cold, wet feet would take her.

"Get ashore! Get back to the palace! Hurry!" Amanda screamed at the Knights. They did so, and Amanda and Arthur were disturbed by the sudden eruption of war cries from the forest behind them.

* * *

Gurshion had dropped his arm, and had led his men forward. A mix of Irish and Saxon, it was the largest army Briton was yet to see. And it was going to defeat the famous King Arthur if Gurshion had anything to say about it. Years of contracting and dealing and treaties with the Irish and Saxon had led him to this moment. Countless nights where he had stayed up to plan out just how Arthur would fall were not going to go to waste because some stupid peasant girl had a brain. He wasn't going to let Amanda Marslyn control the heart of Arthur any more. She was what had lost him his job, and she was going to pay for it.

"O'Keefe," he said, "Go slow. Give them time to panic."

"But sir," protested the sargent, "the longer they have to prepare, the worse off we'll be."

"I want no questions. Do as I say, and let them have time. I want this to be a war, not just a battle."

His hunger for power and might had driven him wild. His ghastly white skin had sunken into his cheeks, and his beady eyes had grown darker with hatred.

His troops went forward on to the ice, and as they marched forth, he smiled with pleasure knowing the fright he had caused Amanda and Arthur. Their love made him sick anyway. It was their love for each other that would bring down Arthurs' kingdom.

* * *

_Review my darlings. _


	25. The First Fight

Chapter 25: The First Fight

Disclaimer: I own no character that was part of the movie King Arthur. All those you do not recognize from the movie you do not recognize because they weren't in the movie. They are my creation, and no, you cannot use them without my permission.

Note: Hello! I haven't got much to say except read this chapter and let me know what you think.

* * *

They sped up the snowy hill back to the palace, and the sudden eruption of the alarm horns blasted through the icy air. One of the guards had beaten them back and was warning the city. Amanda was numb, and ran as fast as she could. Arthur had a tight grip on her, and they ran forward. They finally made it back through the stone walls, and the gates closed directly behind them. Suddenly, her body was held back, as Arthur had stopped running and she had kept going. She watched after the Knights as they took Caia away.

_I need to go with her Arthur, _she thought.

"Amanda," he said, and she looked at him, a little annoyed.

"Yes Arthur?"

"Amanda, I am going to need your help today. Once you have changed I need you to gather all the women, children, and elders into the palace keep," he said.

"The keep Arthur," Amanda interrupted, "What about all their shelters beneath their houses that lead way from here?"

"They will be no use to them now. I have a feeling Amanda, that they will be in need of their leader when the time is right."

"So you're to stay with them?"

"No Amanda. After you have gathered them all, report back to me. Quick now, go change your clothes, and dry off," he ordered. Amanda nodded and turned to go. Thinking of something, she turned back.

"Arthur," she started, "will I get to fight today, or are you too afraid of losing me?"

"We shall see Amanda," he answered and turned away, "we shall see who is lost first."

* * *

Amanda stripped down her clothes in haste while Anys dried her hair and limbs.

"Quick Anys, my trousers and tunic," Amanda said, pointing as she went in the mirror to put up her hair. Then, grabbing the trousers from Anys, she slid them on over her legs, almost falling over in the process, and took the tunic, "My boots!"

She rushed the tunic over her head, much warmer, and pulled her boots on.

"Anything else milady?" Anys asked, red cheeked from the excitement.

"Yes, get as many blankets and as much food as you can down to the keep, and then stay there and wait for further instruction," Amanda said, taking up her sword and kissing her mothers necklace. Then, she fled from the room, almost running into Nicolarious in the process.

"Amanda!" he said, surprised, "I was just coming to get you."

"Ah, who sent you?" Amanda asked.

"Arthur, he needs you down in the Great Hall," answered Nicolarious. Amanda nodded and started off down the stairs.

"Nick," she said, "Arthur isn't having you fight, is he?"

Nicolarious smiled and nodded, "He is sister! I am just fetching some armor now." Amanda forced a smile to her brother.

"Be very careful my love," she said, and then turned down the stairs, ready to have Arthurs head.

* * *

As she entered the Great Hall servants were moving chairs and hiding silver. In the middle of the commotion was Arthur, talking to Gawain and Galahad.

"Arthur!" Amanda called as she walked towards him.

"Amanda, I was just wondering where you were. Gentlemen, go," he said to Gawain and Galahad before turning to Amanda, "have you got everyone in the keep?"

"No, but I've got supplies going down there as we speak. I need to talk to you Arthur," she said.

"Supplies? What supplies?" Arthur asked.

"Blankets and food, now there is something very important we need to discuss," Amanda said, trying to make her point known.

"Very good Amanda, you're handling this well," Arthur said.

"Thank you my lord, but there is something I need to tell you," Amanda persisted, getting a little annoyed.

"Yes Amanda, I suppose you want to talk about the orders I have given Nicolarious," Arthur said.

"Of course I do! He is 13 years old Arthur, he cannot be put into battle! He has had no training!" Amanda cried.

"He hasn't?" Arthur asked, and this silenced the rampaging woman, "Amanda, you may be surprised just how long 3 years is," he smiled deviantly and put his hands on either side of Amanda's face, "Do not worry Amanda, he isn't going to be fighting anyway. I have put him in charge of the third legion of archers. They are based on the roof, dear girl. He won't ever see combat even if the enemy does break through."

"Don't say that Arthur. Just promise me he will not get hurt," Amanda whispered. Arthur looked into her eyes, and smiled.

"I promise." He let go of her face, and she stepped back.

"Now, go round up the people like I asked, and then go down to the armory," Arthur said, resuming his previous authority. Amanda bowed her head, and walked off, her face beaming in joyfulness, as uncalled for as it was at the moment.

Amanda headed out to the town, running from house to house, banging on the doors. She repeatedly yelled for the citizens to go down in to the palace keep. Much to her surprise, many listened to her. And so, from house to house she went, checking all rooms and all places, making sure none were left behind.

_The enemy must be close now, _she thought. Ironically enough, they were very close. The time Gurshion had allotted the people of Camelot was almost out. Amanda continued to yell the orders, and check the houses. Then, the horns sounded again, and their tune was a fast paced, almost panicked one. Cries of women and children broke out as they suddenly ran to the palace, and Amanda could hear the unified steps of the enemy coming up the hill. She suddenly felt like she was very late, but ran on to the other houses very fast. Completing them all, she was heading back, her heart racing in an emotion she rarely felt: fear. She looked behind her as part of the Calvary was going to the gates. She quickly crossed the road and then looked ahead. In the middle of the road she had just crossed, however, was a small, girl toddler, confused and lost in the chaos. Amanda looked behind her as the Calvary rounded the corner. She gasped and sped to the girl, picking her up and heading back into the palace. She reached the side, and suddenly the dust of the road clouded her vision as 30 galloping horses ran by. Amanda let out the breath she was holding, and adjusted the child on her hip.

"Where's you mother?" Amanda asked. The small girl shrugged, and tugged on Amanda's necklace. Amanda stopped a guard and handed the child off to him.

"Get her down to the keep," she said.

"Yes milady," he answered, but the child began to wail before he could leave. Amanda stopped to look at the child, who had outstretched its arms to her. Amanda walked back and took the child again.

"Arthur is going to kill me," she said, jogging down to the armory.

* * *

Arthur examined his men as they left the armory to get into their ranks. The gleaming helmets and breast plates would soon be splattered in blood, hopefully not their own. His green eyes darted back to his Knights; his ever faithful Knights that were suited up and ready to go.

"I'm getting too old for this," muttered Bors, and Arthur laughed.

Amanda sneaked in through the door, hushing the child still. She caught sight of Arthur and the Knights. She looked longingly at their armor, and thought only of slitting Gurshion's throat. Hoisting the child up further on her hip, she walked swiftly to Arthur, who had finally noticed her.

"Why isn't this a sight! Lady Amanda dressed for battle with a babe on her hip," teases Galahad.

"Hush you fool," Amanda retorted, and 'ooohs' came from the Knights. Amanda rolled her eyes, and looked to Arthur.

Arthur stared at the image, and was suddenly taunted by the thought of marrying Amanda. She looked so natural as both a warrior and a mother.

"My lord, all citizens are in the palace keep, save this little one," Amanda reported.

"And why not this little one?" Arthur asked, touching the toddlers cheek.

"I tried but she only began to cry. I figured I might as well take her with me to prevent some stress. Your orders now?" Amanda asked. Arthur smiled at the small girl, and she grinned back. She stretched out her arms for her king, and Arthur took her from Amanda, taking Amanda aside.

"Do we know where her mother is?" Arthur asked.

"I'm assuming she's in the keep," Amanda said, "But for sure I have no idea."

"Well, keep mind of her Amanda," Arthur said, staring at the child as her toddler fingers ran over Arthurs face in curiosity.

"I will Arthur," Amanda said, "but your orders for me now?"

* * *

Gawain looked at Amanda and Arthur, as Bors stared at the child.

"He longs to be a father," Bors said.

"She longs to be a mother," Galahad said.

"Do you honestly know that?" Gawain asked, rather testily.

"No, but look at her, she's so natural at it. Her being is a nurturer, you know that as well as I," Galahad explained.

"I know nothing of the sort. And you Galahad, are no judge of people," Gawain said, turning back to the men leaving, checking over their suits.

"They must realize they love each other by now," Bors continued.

"I should hope so," Galahad agreed.

"I should think that Amanda no longer loves Arthur. I wouldn't love him after all this waiting time," Gawain said haughtily.

"What plagues you Gawain?" asked Galahad, "all you're ever doing when Amanda and Arthur come up in conversation is bitch about them." Gawain stared at Galahad.

"I do not," Gawain protested.

"You love her don't you? You want her for yourself!" Galahad accused.

Gawain turned away from Galahad and looked at the men.

* * *

"I want you to go back to the keep Amanda, and mind after the people," Arthur said.

"What?" Amanda asked.

"I told you that the people needed to be looked after, and I want you to do it," Arthur said, calmly.

"I want to fight Arthur!" Amanda cried to him.

"You'll do me better indoors than out on the field," Arthur answered.

"Arthur, please! Do not spoon feed me one of your horse shit ideas as to why I shouldn't do something!" Amanda yelled, stamping her foot. Arthur took the child from his hip and handed her back to Amanda.

"It's and order, and it's final Amanda," Arthur said.

"No Arthur! You're going to let Nicolarious fight and not I?!"

"How spoiled are you Amanda?" Arthur cried, "Nicolarious is a boy, and is training to be a Knight! You are a woman, and you belong in the keep with the people."

"Do not tell me where I belong Arthur! Give me a good reason why I should not go out there and fight today!" Amanda demanded of him. Arthur spun around to her, in her face, but Amanda didn't back down.

"I told you that the people would need their leader down there when the time comes. Go down and be with the people that love and idolize you," Arthur hissed.

"But I will be of no use to them Arthur. At least in the field I will know what to do!" Amanda argued.

"You will know what to do Amanda," Arthur assured her, "you are already doing it." He turned finally from her and walked out of the armory to speak to his soldiers. Amanda huffed and adjusted the child on her hip. She looked up at the girl, and asked:

"What is your name?"

"Colette," the small girl whispered.

"Well Colette, damn him," Amanda said. They then would have walked off to the keep if Amanda had known where it was. Leaving the armory, she found the closest guard.

"Where is the armory?" Amanda asked. The man smiled.

"I'll just take you there. Hello Colette, how are you?" the guard asked.

"You know this child?" Amanda asked, hoping to have her questions answered.

"Yes, she is my neighbors, Marc Hughman; he's a soldier in the army. How did you come about her?"

"I picked her up off the street. Has she a mother?" Amanda asked.

"No," the guard said, looking away, "she died in child birth. Poor Marc has been struggling with her. He had a caretaker, but apparently he'll have to find a new one." Amanda nodded in understanding and hugged the child a little closer to her. He led her down to the hall near the Round Table Room, and he took another left down a much shorter hall. Amanda recognized this corridor instantly, and stifled a gasp when she saw the door was open.

"Here you are milady, the palace keep," he said.

"Thank you sir," Amanda said, still in shock.

"Goodbye Colette," the guard said, and the toddler waved her hand.

And then Amanda stood there, looking at the door that Evelina had gone through so many months ago to escape the palace and report back to Gurshion. Amanda felt her throat knot up as she thought of how, through the months after that, life had escalated and led to the death of Edem. She bit he bottom lip, and looked at Colette.

"I suppose you don't know that your very name mean 'victorious people', and that the meaning of the name of the man I once loved, Edem, was 'God has saved me'. Has God saved me with you, little Colette? And will our people really be victorious? Oh little Colette, have you any answers?" Amanda asked the child. All Colette did was smile.

* * *

_Review, and there will be more soon._


	26. The First Fight Part II

Chapter 26: The First Fight (Part II)

Note: Quick update, I know. How unlike me.

* * *

Amanda entered through the door to the keep, and she was in utter shock when she saw what the place looked like all lit up. With Colette on her hip, she walked down the sand colored stone tunnel that rounded at the top. Before, in the dark, she could hear the birds chirping. Now, she couldn't hear a thing over all the people's voices that were coming from somewhere. A guard led her down the hall way, took two lefts, a right, and then a left again, and after about a hundred yards, the tunnel started to go downhill. It continued so for a while, and after a few minuets of steady descent the wall to the right of her stopped and she was suddenly walking along the upper part of a large room. Below her were all the women, children, and elders she had sent down to the keep earlier. Her eyes widened in pure surprise, marveling at the fact that there was a place as large as this below the wall. It simply astounded Amanda, and she looked at the young ones in her arms.

"Did you know this was here?" Amanda asked the girl as she followed after the guard. Colette nodded her curly brunette head, "Why do I never know these things?" Amanda asked herself, rather annoyed.

"Amanda!" she heard someone cry, their voice strained and very faint. Amanda stopped and looked out over the railing that had been put up. She furrowed her brow, looking in the sea of people for the voice, or a face to match it with.

"Amanda!" the voice cried again, and Amanda searched carefully. She looked for any sign to help her, but she found none. Then, there were a pair of waving arms, and then a person jumping up and down in the corner of her eye. Looking, she discovered that the crier was Caia. Their eyes locked, and Caia stopped jumping. Amanda smiled at her, and Caia smiled back. Caia then furrowed her brow, and gestured to little Colette whom Amanda was holding. Amanda put up a hand, as if to say "hold on", and Amanda turned back to the guard, and followed him down. She followed him through three rights, and then came to a set of stairs, which Amanda followed him down. At the bottom was a door, and the guard took out two large keys, used to unlock the two in two separate places. After the door opened, Amanda looked to find Caia right near by. Amanda rushed forward into the embrace of her friend. After they finished, Caia took a small step back to look at Colette.

"And who is this little one? A secret child of the mysterious Lady Amanda?" Caia teased. Amanda rolled her eyes, more at the fact that Caia was teasing and joking in a time like this, but Amanda brushed it off as her way of coping with what was going on.

"No, I saved her from the stampede of the cavalry. Caia, this is Colette, apparently her father is a soldier in Arthur's army," Amanda explained.

"And where is her mother?" Caia asked. Amanda gave her a look, that silencing and self-explanatory look that Caia understood instantly. Caia nodded, and looked away, partially ashamed for asking. Amanda, looked around the room, and at all the bustling people.

"Caia, you haven't seen Anys, have you?" Amanda asked, and Caia stopped in a moment of thought.

"I did actually, she was over in the opposite corner the last time I saw her," Caia answered. Amanda made a face, her lips pursed to the side, and set into a partial frown.

"Can you take Colette, Caia, while I try to find Anys?" Amanda asked as she tried to hand Colette off. Colette clung to Amanda, at first, looking at Amanda and then at Caia, and then back at Amanda, as if to tell Amanda she _did not_ want to go with Caia. Amanda looked back at Colette though, as reassuring as she possibly could, and finally, Colette loosened her grip on Amanda and reached for Caia. Caia gladly took her, and Amanda looked at her sternly.

"_Do not_ let anything happen to her Caia," Amanda said.

"I won't Amanda, trust me," Caia said. And Amanda did. Amanda then noticed a platform, like the one out in the palace square.

_What is it with this man and platforms,_ Amanda thought to herself, _jeez Arthur._ Regardless, Amanda got up on to the platform, and searched the sea of people. Unfortunately, getting up on to the platform was proven to be a bad idea.

"It's the Lady Amanda!" she heard a person off to her left say, and a few people turned to her attention.

"Lady Amanda, has the fighting begun yet?" someone yelled, and a few more people paid their attention to her.

"I'm not sure," Amanda answered, even though she thought that it probably had.

* * *

Arthur walked up the stairs to the top of the wall. The archers below him and on the wall before him were silent as they anticipated the battle before them. He did not glance, nor bite his lip; he did not walk too fast, or too slow; he walked plainly and calmly through the regiments of men, and to his station for the time being.

"Galahad, Gawain," Arthur said as he joined them.

"Arthur," they greeted back. Arthur looked out over the wall and saw what he was hoping wouldn't be there. Gurshion had done an impressive job, and Arthur began to think, for a moment, that he may actually have a war. He looked behind him as his troops marched in, awaiting their moment to go out to the fields.

"Do we stay behind the walls, or go out in front Arthur?" Galahad asked. Arthur considered it, and Gawain took the moment to explain the advantages and disadvantages of each choice.

"Should we send out the men it keeps their army off the wall for a while, and the archers can attack the back lines. The cavalry can make sweeps from side to side. But, the snow will make it harder for hand to hand combat, and eventually their muscles will freeze up. And, if their army does break through our lines, all we have if a few hundred guards and archers to fight them off. If we keep them inside, we'll have a height advantage and the Woads can use the catapults with out worrying about hitting our men. If they break through the walls, all the men will be there for combat, but it will be an in the city battle. We could split them up half and half Arthur, and take our chances," he suggested. Arthur nodded, weighing the possibilities of each in his intricately thinking mind.

"Of course, the main problem is, is that Gurshion knows all of your battle tactics," Galahad threw in. Arthur nodded, he had realized it himself far earlier. Looking back at Gurshion's army, he devised the plan in his head.

"I want two legions to go out and split in half. The infantry will fight first, and the cavalry to standoff. The infantry will take out the right and left sides, and leave the center for the archers at the moment. I want them to pick off the sides, so they cluster in and create frustration and confusion amongst themselves. The cavalry will run through them, at a diagonal. Tell them that it doesn't have to be a kill, just a severe injury so they can't fight. Go," Arthur said, and put his hands on the wall at Galahad and Gawain went off to tell the officers. He stared straight ahead, not looking at the army, but his eyes digging deep into the man that he thought was his trusted council, not an deceiving scoundrel.

"What will we do after, sire?" asked one of the young men amongst the archers. Arthur turned, and patted the stone absentmindedly.

"Then, I will rest, and let them come to the wall. The Woads will set loose their catapults, and then we will attack again; half of the legions will go in; one on each side, and two in the middle. And you, my dear archers, will not be shooting ordinary arrows," Arthur said, somewhat of a smile on his face.

"Will be using the fired arrows?" the young man asked.

"No," answered Arthur, walking to the front of the group, and held out his hand for the torch. Taking it, and putting it to a large, iron bowl-like well, which instantly flared up, "each of your arrow tips are made of a special stone, which, when held over flame for a few moments, will heat up. It can pierce the armor of your opponent because it will slice the leather and through the armor." He took the bow and an arrow from a nearby archer, and put the arrow into the fire, "Observe." The arrow head heated to a bright red, and he put it to the bow. Pulling back, and releasing, it struck a man in the army. He let out a shocked moan, and apparently fell dead. He gave the bow back to the archer, and turned away. War cries from the opposing army sounded over the silent hills, and Arthur was flooded with that old excitement he had always known.

"Open the gates!" he bellowed. The great war Gurshion had fantasized about had begun.

* * *

Amanda continued her search for Anys from the platform, trying to answer questions all at once.

"Anys!" she cried, sick of the fruitless searching.

"Amanda!" someone cried back. Amanda smiled as she saw Anys coming forward from the crowd of people. Amanda stepped forward and took her hand to pull her up on to the platform. Anys smiled and the two embraced quickly.

"Anys, where is the food?" Amanda asked softly, hoping that the people wouldn't hear her and go mad.

"It's in the back room, along with the blankets, and a few hundred pillows," Anys said, and Amanda smiled.

"Thank God," Amanda breathed out. Amanda then turned her head to the people, who were looking up at her, hopefully. She looked to Caia, who held Colette. In Colette, Amanda saw why she needed to be here to help these people.

"Alright everybody, listen to me please!" Amanda said, loudly as possible, "If you could all settle down here. Collect your family and settle somewhere on the floor or against the walls. You will not be in and out of here. You may be in here for days; I will not lie to you. But as of now, I know nothing more than that there is a battle going on above our heads. All we can do down here, is hope and pray that as many as our loved ones come out of this ordeal alive as possible," Amanda looked at the guard beside here, "Come here," she said, "This man here, will go around and take down all of your names and what men are fighting from your family. Please restrict it to your family only, not your neighbors or friends, for they will be recorded too! If there is a special circumstance, and you have another name, explain the situation and he will take the name," turning from the crowd, "Anys, in a little while, hand out the food to them, and then in a little while longer, the blankets and pillows. If you need me, send word for me," she turned to the guard, "In the library on the first floor, there is an empty book on the first table. Write the names in there."

"Where are you going Amanda?" Anys asked.

"To see what is happening overhead," Amanda answered. With that she walked out of the keep and through the maze of the keep. To her surprise, she knew her way out, and did not hesitate to make haste. She went up stairs, passed Arthurs room, and walked out to the wall connected to his room. At that moment, a rush of sound hit her, and she was confronted with archers of all sorts moving about in anxiousness, shooting off arrows left and right.

"Amanda!" she heard someone cry, "What are you doing up here?" Amanda looked around, and found Jols.

"Jols, thank God! I was worried what Arthur would do with you. Where is he, do you know?" Amanda asked. Jols looked at her, and Amanda could see that he was considering making her turn around and going back down to the keep. But, Jols respected Amanda, and pointed to the wall above the gates. Amanda smiled, and patted Jols on the shoulder, "Thank you Jols." Amanda shuffled quickly by him, and then turned the corner of the wall. She came up behind Arthur, who was giving orders to a messenger that was supposedly going to either Galahad or Gawain, whom were out on the field.

"Amanda, what are you doing up here?" Ambrose asked quietly. Amanda looked up at the king's cousin, and answered.

"I just want to know what is going on Ambrose, the people are already restless. They want answers," Amanda said, truthfully.

"And answers they shall have Amanda, in time," said the voice of Arthur. Amanda met Arthur's eyes, and held them, angry that he wasn't making her job any easier.

"Arthur, I'm not up here for me. I'm up here for them," Amanda said, stepping towards him.

"Then why are you still wearing your sword?" Arthur asked, testy to say the least. Amanda huffed, and untied her sword, and threw it one the ground.

"Now do you believe me?" Amanda asked.

"Maybe I should send you in there, and see how you like it!" Arthur retorted, not too keen on Amanda's attitude right now.

"What the hell is your problem Arthur?" Amanda yelled, regretting ever coming up here. Arthur rolled his eyes, and pointed out over the wall.

"That is Amanda! And I need to try and fix the problem with out _you _breathing down my neck!" Amanda threw her hands up in the air, and turned her back on Arthur. She looked at Ambrose, who looked back.

"Ambrose, can you tell me what is going on, please?" Amanda asked. Ambrose explained to her the battle plan, and how many men he estimated each side had lost. He told Amanda what the archers were doing, what Galahad and Gawains' legions were doing, and even to what part of the palace the injured were going to. Amanda, in return, smiled and thanked Ambrose with kissing his cheek.

"Thank you my friend; that was all that I had wanted. And, perhaps, when the king is feeling better, can you tell him that the names of the people in the keep are being taken down for record, and that they will be fed and put to rest," Amanda turned away from Ambrose, and faced Arthurs back, "And that I am sorry for any inconvenience or distraction I had created, and that I will see him when this is all over." Amanda shook her head in disappointment, and turned away, missing the fact that Arthur turned to apologize, and never called her back to him because a messenger was running to him.

"Your Majesty! News from the front! It appears that Gurshion's men are retreating!" The boy said, in spaced out words. Amanda froze in her tracks, and Arthur turned to look, and there were indeed men running into the woods.

* * *

On the field, where Gawain was fighting an Irish man, other men from Gurshion's army were turning to the woods. What seemed like a retreat was sending the correct message to the people in the palace- that the army was running away, and the battle was over. Gurshion stood hundreds of yards away, and as his first men reached him, he smiled.

"Our plan is working," he said, and Gurshion nodded.

"Indeed it is. Now, go fetch the ladders, and the catapults. The Saxons are waiting to wheel them down on the paths. Go!" Gurshion said, watching as more and more of his men went came towards him. He laughed at the thought that Arthur and the Knights would be fooled by his mater planning. For, they would not attack in the middle of the night, or the morn after. No, that would be far to expected. They would, instead, attack in the night of the next day, when Arthur had enveloped himself and his court in a sense of success, accomplishment, and safety.

"Then," Gurshion said to himself, "will I win and take the great Camelot for myself."

* * *

Amanda had turned, and watched as the men ran for the woods. She shook her head, knowing something was not right. They were running east of the palace; 100 miles east of the palace was the beginning of where Saxon country.

_But they wouldn't run a hundred miles just to get supplies and more men,_ Amanda thought, _no. The Saxons would come to them. _

Amanda walked over Arthur, and grabbed his arm.

"I don't care how mad at me you are right now, what they're doing is not right. Look Arthur, they're running east of here. You know what lies east of here, and if the Saxons came to meet them, then Gurshion's army now has at least 1,000 more men and supplies at his feet. I beg of you, do not stand down your army," Amanda said, talking fast just to get it all out before he interrupted her.

"So you want me to deny my men of rest and comfort?" Arthur asked.

"No! They can rest, just have them at your ready and alert before they come back and attack while we are not ready. And do not have the people leave the palace, have them all stay there," Amanda said, trying to think of something convincing.

"Amanda," Arthur said softly, taking her hand in his, "I cannot just say to my men that they can't take off their armor and set down their swords because I think a retreating army may come back." Amanda closed her eyes in frustration.

"Arthur," Amanda said, "if you just explain it to them like I did, then there should be no questions. They can see their families, and get what they want from their homes, but they cannot permanently go back yet."

"And when could they go back?" Arthur asked.

"Give it two days Arthur, please; if they aren't back by then, it's safe to say they aren't coming back. Please, two days," Amanda repeated. Arthur looked at her questioningly, "Why do you doubt me Arthur?! You know my thoughts are logical! I'm just trying to help you!"

"I can't do it Amanda. I don't want to get the kingdom worked up over one persons ideas," Arthur said. Amanda threw his hand off hers, and looked at him.

"Better safe than sorry, no? But it doesn't matter," Amanda said, walking away, but, as always, she turned back, "You're a real hypocrite, do you know that? You get the kingdom worked up all the time over your ideas! Aren't you just a person too Arthur?" Amanda yelled at him.

"No, Amanda, I am a king," Arthur said.

"Well I guess you don't stand by your idea that every man is equal any longer. And apparently, I am not fit to be your friend if I am just _another person_. Excuse me, Your Highness," Amanda spat at him bitterly.

"Damn it Amanda! Why must you turn every thing I say against me?" Arthur bellowed.

"Everything you say? What about everything I say? You turned this in to an argument Arthur, you're the one that snapped on me when I was just doing what you asked of me!" Amanda said, losing her momentum, and quieting her voice with each passing word, "This isn't even worth it any more Arthur. I used to argue because I could prove a point when I was your equal. But now, now that you see me as your subject, and those people down in the keep as your subjects, instead of your peers, I might as well just bow down and accept what you say."

"You know you are far more than my equal to me Amanda," Arthur said.

"That is not what you just said while standing there Arthur!" Amanda said back.

"I'm sorry!" Arthur said, "I do what you suggested then, they'll stay on call and ready."

"No, Arthur, I don't want you to just give in. I want you to reason and make the decision for yourself. Don't just come to a conclusion at an instant. What I was saying was thought out and reasonable. Your rejection of it was on a whim," Amanda said.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said, his green eyes pleading with Amanda to not do this anymore with him. Amanda stepped forward, and wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to comfort him. Arthur immediately took her waist in his arms, and cherished her existence with him.

"Sire, the men are questioning what to do now," asked a soldier, timidly. Arthur turned and looked at him.

"Tell the men to go down into the keep and find their families, but not to go back to their homes. They are to stay in the palace, get some rest and keep their gear near by. I have a feeling that the enemy will return very soon, with more men," Arthur answered the soldier, smiling back at Amanda.


	27. The Shooting Stars of War

Chapter 27: The Shooting Stars of War

Note: I just love you all.

* * *

When Arthur had turned back to her, Amanda actually had the opportunity to do whatever she wanted to Arthur; whether it was kiss him or coyly tease him, she could have. Yet as soon as opportunity came knocking, she instantly thought of what Bishop Ahias had said to the Knights so long ago. She no longer looked at Arthur, and her blue eyes slid away in a daydream.

"Amanda," Arthur said, softly, his arms still around her.

"Yes?" she asked, looking back.

"What are you thinking about?" Arthur asked.

"I'm afraid, Arthur," she said, "that you do not want to know."

"Oh, come now. I want to know everything," he said with a laugh. Amanda gave him a small smile, and, going against the child pulling at her gut, and the giant hammering on her heart, she told him what she had been thinking.

"Before I left, when Galahad killed the bishop, do you remember what the bishop said to you?" Amanda asked. Arthur thought for a very brief moment, which may have appeared as an act.

"Yes, I remember," he said.

"What did it mean? Gawain once told me that you and the knights had to tell me something someday. Galahad tried, but you stopped him. Can you tell me now?" Amanda asked, her voice soft, almost meek, truly not being the aggressor at the moment. Arthur looked at her, and then heaved a sigh as his head rolled to the side.

"Amanda," he said, and Amanda bit her lip.

"Never mind Arthur, you don't have to tell me," Amanda said, putting a little space between them. Arthur tightened his grip on her waist, and looked at her.

"You must understand Amanda, I know what he meant, and I know what it is that we're supposed to say. I simply do not know how to word it correctly," he said. Amanda laughed, but her heart skipped a beat.

"Oh Arthur, you know you can just say it. I am your friend. You've told me many things before, what makes this time so different?" Amanda asked, trying to ease him into just saying it.

"I don't know," he said, turning away from her and walking back out on to the wall. Amanda watched his majestic frame cross into God made light, and his arms go to his head in frustration. Amanda followed, but stopped at the doorway, and leaned her figure against the cold stone. Arthur walked to the edge, his hands going to the protector wall, stretching out at a long length, his chest exposed to the battle field.

"Amanda," he began, "of all the people I've ever met, you are the most complicated." Amanda laughed, confused at what that was supposed to mean. But Arthur winced, and shook his head, "I didn't mean it like that. What I meant is that you are so..." as he searched for the correct word, Amanda jumped in.

"I believe 'complicated' is the correct term Arthur," she said softly. Arthur looked back at her and his eyes smiled.

"You're so full of energy, yet it can be your worst enemy. God knows you're smart, and if he didn't you'd certainly inform him that you were. Your pride, well that's a matter all in itself, but if I must say it's indeed your tragic flaw," at that Amanda laughed, her mouth open in some offense. Arthur looked back, and put up his palms in a hurry, "It is!" Amanda nodded.

"I believe you," Amanda said, "but is my complicated being the reason why you cannot tell me what it so plainly on your mind?" Arthur stopped, and looked at her.

"What I'm supposed to tell you is that I care about you, Amanda," he said. Amanda felt her heart splat on the floor.

_It's always caring_, Amanda thought to herself, _why doesn't he love me? Can he not tell I love him?_

Amanda forced him a smile. "I care for you too Arthur," she said, matter-o-factly. Arthur smiled, and came away from the wall, but Amanda could feel the tears welling in her eyes, much against her control.

"Well," Amanda said quickly, trying to think of a reason to leave, "I'd better go check on the guard I left in charge of the names downstairs!" She turned, trying so hard no to let the tears drop, and walked as fast as her legs could carry her. Her hands flew to her eyes, covering her face, and her head bent down. She hated crying so much, why was it happening now?

* * *

Merlin was waiting for her to come back down to the keep. He had left his Woads and came to see the Lady Amanda that had transformed while he was gone. Ambrose had told him all about the relationships she had with the people in Camelot. He told Merlin how admired and adored she was by all, and how the people in the palace, himself included, had grown to love Amanda. He explained how worried he was for Arthur and Gawain, for they both were smitten with Amanda, though Gawain had said nothing of the sorts. As Merlin sat, by himself, he noticed the younger Marslyn, Nicolarious, come wobbling in on his shaky legs. Nicolarious came over to Merlin, and sat.

"Galahad told me to come sit with you, Merlin," Nicolarious explained. Merlin smiled, and nodded.

"Tell me Nicolarious, how is your sister?" Merlin asked.

"She's well. She should be down in this room somewhere, unless she's off with Arthur," Nicolarious said.

"And how is our great king?" Merlin asked.

"It depends Merlin," Nicolarious answered.

"On?" Merlin asked.

"The company he's with, and even more so the mood of the company he's with. At one moment he's angrier than a caged hawk, and the next he's as happy as happy can ever possibly be," Nicolarious answered, nonchalantly. Merlin smiled a twinkle in his eye.

"He was never like that before, you know, with any of his other company. Especially the first," Merlin said. Nicolarious nodded.

"Is that good or bad?" Nicolarious asked.

"I believe, Nicolarious, it's a good thing."

* * *

Amanda wandered down to the keep, her mind and body working furiously to try and look like she hadn't been crying, or that she was upset. She had to put a good face on for the people of Camelot, especially little Colette. The moment she entered the keep, her mind swirled with all the commotion and noise. It had practically tripled sine she had been there last, and the clanging of armor and swords just made the atmosphere more stressful. But, as she looked around, she saw the happy faces of the women, men, and children that had been reunited with their loved ones for the time being. A few yards into the keep, she was confronted by a man, with light brown hair, and bright brown eyes. He was maybe five years her senior, and he looked very worried.

"What is it my good man?" Amanda asked softly, taking his hand.

"Lady Amanda, I was told that you were the last seen with my daughter, Colette," he said softly, and fatherly. Amanda smiled the instant he said daughter, and he took his hand.

"Worry not, I have left her in good hands," Amanda said, a smile playing on her red lips. The man looked her right in the eyes, and held her gaze, willing to be reconnected with the one thing he had left in the world. Amanda stepped in front of him, and headed to the back room, hoping at least Anys would be in there, so she could find Caia. Weaving in and out of people in the keep, the pair finally made it to the back room. The second they walked in, Amanda heard two young voices laughing heartily behind the pillows. Walking around the corner, Amanda found Colette and Caia lying amongst the pillows.

"Colette," Amanda said. Colette jumped up and ran to Amanda, hugging her knees. Amanda let out a heart felt laugh, and knelt down to be level with her.

"Colette, I've found someone you may want to see," she said. Colette looked behind Amanda, and gasped.

"Daddy!" she said. Amanda stood up as the daughter and father embraced and smiled at each other. Amanda walked over to where Caia now stood, and watched the man cherish his daughter. He looked at the two women, and came over to them.

"Thank you," he said voice full of gratitude.

"You're very welcome, she's a wonderful girl," Caia said.

"I hope to have a daughter just like her someday," Amanda said, who caught herself staring at the child and blushing at the statement she allowed her wandering mind to make. The man smiled; flattered that Amanda would make such an honored comment. Amanda smiled, and Colette reached for her.

"Oh, no darling, your fathers' here now. You don't need me," Amanda said.

"I don't believe she thinks she _needs _you, Lady Amanda, I believe she _wants _you," Marc Hughman said. Amanda laughed, and looked at Caia, who was grinning. Amanda shrugged her shoulders, and walked over to him.

"Well, we can talk about this later. For now, I have hundreds of people out in the keep that need to be taken care of. In addition to that, his majesty will be coming down shortly," Amanda said. Walking out of the room, she grabbed Caia by the hand and dragging her out. Upon walking out of the storage room, a ten degree temperature change hit the two girls head on. Caia erupted in laughter, and Amanda weaved the two of them a safe distance from the back room. When that task was accomplished, Amanda whipped around and stared at Caia.

"Oh Amanda, I believe that little girl loves you! And to think, she has no mother. You could very well wind up with that soldier," she giggled.

"Don't even begin to think of it Caia," Amanda scolded, and Caia rolled her eyes. Amanda looked up to see Ambrose searching, almost frantically, through the crowds for something. Then, his eyes met hers, and he smiled. Walking forward, he came up behind Caia, took her by the waist, and turned her around.

"Ambrose! You startled me!" Caia exclaimed, truly surprised. Ambrose grinned devilishly, and he wrapped his other arm around Caia, leaning his curly head down and kissing Caia passionately. Amanda gasped, and smiled as Caia softened her shock, and kissed Ambrose back. Amanda saw Arthur come behind him, beaming, and came to Amanda.

"Finally," Arthur whispered to her. Amanda nodded, and smiled.

"It's practically a relief. Do you know what spurred him on?" Amanda asked.

"I think, Amanda, the thought of dying there on the wall and never being able to get to kiss her. He's taken a new approach, I believe, on life," Arthur explained. Amanda watched as the two released each others lips and talked quietly.

"I wish I could be more like that," Amanda said softly.

"Oh really?" Arthur said back, just as soft. Amanda looked up at him, and nodded.

"And what, pray tell, would you be doing if you lived like that?" Arthur asked.

"Many things," Amanda said, her body turning towards him and her eyes captivated by his lips, "Like riding bareback, playing music and being merry, and maybe even openly loving the person I have loved for so long," she said.

"Amanda! Are you confessing to me that you are _in love_?" Arthur asked, whispering in her ear.

Amanda blushed, "Yes, Arthur. I suppose I am telling you that I'm in love with someone."

"And who is this fine fellow?" Arthur asked, standing up right.

"Why do you want to know?" Amanda asked, walking off to find the guard with the book of names, and beginning to think of how to keep this place orderly.

"Well, I need to make sure he's everything you deserve!" Arthur said back, following her. Amanda made her way to the platform.

"Oh, I hate to think you don't trust my judgment," Amanda said back.

"Well, Edem was well and fine, but Joseph and Adonis were far from acceptable," Arthur teased.

"How dare you bring them into this conversation!" Amanda bantered back. Arthur laughed as she walked up to the platform, and he caught her wrist.

"I need to protect you, don't I?" Arthur asked, voice soft once more, and inviting. Oh, how she loved it when he spoke to her like that.

"I would imagine, Arthur, that you feel the need to do so," Amanda smiled, and turned away, adding "Or at least I hope you do."

Amanda walked up on to the platform, and after a minuet or so of standing up there, she had all attention.

"I would like to explain to you that you are all to stay here for the next two nights, strictly as a precautionary procedure. I understand that many of you want to go home, and some of you may not see the reason for this ruling. However, there is a possibility that the army will attack again, and they will be stronger than before. It took far too long for our army to get to the wall today, and if they return that time will not be granted to us. For the time being, I would like there to be some order in this keep, and sleeping arrangements to be made. There are to be four neat columns of where you will sleep. Two against the walls and two more in the middle, equal spacing between them so there are aisles in which two passing bodies can walk through. Four feet around the entrance of this keep and around the entrance of the back storage room are to be kept clear of anything so they are easily accessible. Thank you," Amanda said, and went to the edge of the platform when the noise resumed. Looking down, Arthur held out his hand, and Amanda went to take it. However, being a person full of grace, she fell forward, and Arthur caught her in his arms.

"Whoa," he said softly, "careful Amanda."

"Oh, thank you."

"Are you all right?" he asked, slowly placing her feet gently back on the ground. Amanda managed a nod, and stepped away from him.

"Arthur!" someone called. Coming forth out of the crowd were Galahad, Gawain, and Bors. Amanda jumped on them, overjoyed to see them.

"Come, my knights, lets go up to the palace, and out of this noise," Arthur said, leading the way. Amanda frowned slightly, leaning against the platform, wishing she was a knight.

"Amanda," Arthur said, "are you coming?" Amanda looked up, and nodded her head, going after him.

* * *

Up in the library, Amanda was sitting in the window seat as the men were arguing about what Arthur not letting the men stand-down.

"The men need to go home and be with their families!" Gawain yelled.

"If Gurshion attacks again, we _will_ lose _everything_ Gawain!" Arthur yelled back, turning away and then back, green eyes lit with fury.

"They had good time getting to the wall today! It was you who hung back talking to Amanda!" Gawain said.

"Don't drag her into this! There is no chance if the men stand down. Besides, it's for two days. Two days Gawain! If they cannot withstand an order for two days, how will they handle being away from home in another war where they could be gone for months?" Arthur tested.

"You will lose their trust if you confine and control them Arthur!" Galahad shot out.

"I'm doing what is best for the people!" Arthur retorted. At this, Amanda rose, and walked through the shelves surrounding her.

"This is a mistake Arthur, and you know it," Gawain said, turning his back and walking out.

"It was my idea Gawain," Amanda said, coming out of the shelves. Gawain turned and looked at her.

"Why would you ask such a thing of these men Amanda?" Gawain asked.

"Because when they were retreating Gawain, they were heading east. The Saxons lay in the east, and if they join forces Gurshion has at least a thousand fresh men at his command, and supplies for the rest," Amanda calmly explained.

"Amanda, we beat those men to the bone," Gawain yelled.

"What was our death toll Gawain?" Amanda yelled back.

"467," Bors said.

"And theirs?" Amanda asked.

"From what I could count, 348," Bors answered.

"They have a plan Gawain! And if those Saxons join, we will have a hard time beating them. Can you at least easy the pressure a little and let these two days pass?" Amanda asked, walking over to him. He looked down at her, and studied her features.

"It's not my army," he said with a huff, and walked out. Amanda hung her head, and Bors came over to pat her on the shoulder.

"He's been like that for a while," he said.

"I've noticed," Amanda said. Bors then walked out of the room, followed by Galahad. Amanda stood still in that spot for a very long time, and thought out all of the possible scenarios in her mind as to what could happen if Gurshion was to attack again.

"Amanda," Arthur said softly, many times, but she never heard him. He sighed, and picked her up in his arms. Amanda looked at him, and then said quietly:

"I hope I didn't lead you in the wrong direction," Arthur looked at her, and shook his head.

"Your idea is as good as anyone has to offer me. And since yours was the only one outside of the norm, I took it," Arthur said, "But lets not talk about that. You need to sleep." He set her down in a chair, and her head leaned to the side as she managed to tuck her feet beneath her. Arthur sat in the chair beside her, and she looked over at him.

"What will you do if they attack again?" Amanda asked drowsily.

"Fight my hardest and use all of our best plans," he said back, adjusting his weight.

"What will you do if they take over the palace?" Amanda asked after a pause.

"I'll need you to get the people out of the keep and into the tunnels to get to safety. I promise you Amanda, not even Gurshion knows those tunnels like the guards do. And I've had the entrance that Adonis and Evelina were using blocked off, so they'll go a different way," Arthur answered her. He looked over at her, his green eyes running over her body, wanting nothing more than to take her in his arms.

"Arthur, will I be able to fight if they attack again?" Amanda asked.

"Why do you want to fight so badly?" Arthur asked her.

"I need to," Amanda answered, foolishly hoping he wouldn't press the question.

"Why do you _need _to?" he asked.

"I need to prove myself to the people of Camelot," Amanda answered weakly, yawning.

"You have already done that," Arthur challenged.

"No, they just think they love me. If I can fight and live in a battle, then there isn't a thing I can't do. I need to confirm there belief that I am truly prefect," Amanda said sleepily.

"Amanda, no one's perfect," Arthur said.

"But striving for it isn't bad is it?"

"Will you promise me one thing Amanda?" Arthur said, after a long thought.

"Anything Arthur," she answered, looking once more at him.

"Promise me, that if it should come to it, you escape with the people to safe ground. Don't turn back for anyone outside of the keep, just get the women and children out and then get out yourself," he said.

"Arthur- " Amanda began.

"No, Amanda, promise me," Arthur said. Amanda looked at him, biting her bottom lip.

"I promise Arthur," she said. Returning her head, she looked at the stones in the wall, and her eyes got heavy with sleep. A silence fell between the two, and Amanda welcomed the time to relax, her body aching for sleep. Her eyelids were heavy, and her vision was becoming less and less focused.

"You know Amanda, I've been thinking about what I told you earlier on the wall, about what I was supposed to tell you. Anyway, I didn't tell you the complete extent of which I care for you. In fact, Amanda, I think I do much more than care for you. I love you Amanda, I do. Honestly and truly, and I have ever since you left me so long ago," Arthur slowed down, finding it odd he hadn't gotten a response earlier from Amanda. Looking over, he watched her chest rise and fall steadily, her beautiful blue eyes closed in the sleep she had needed.

* * *

Amanda awoke to the trumpets ringing and Arthur in front of her trying to wake her.

"Amanda," he said, "wake up." Amanda opened her eyes, her blue irises peering at the face of a worried man. Amanda furrowed her brow in confusion, and sat up, her neck aching from the way she slept.

"What is it?" she asked, her throat dry and in need of water.

"The enemy has returned. I need you to get ready as quickly as you can," Arthur answered her, standing up and walking away from her. Amanda rose and looked at him, her hand going to her sword, and walking out of the library. As she walked to the armory, her mind raced around the fact that Gurshion had returned so quickly. She was sure he would have waited. Maybe something had changed; or maybe the Saxons had simply marched that fast. She walked down the stairs, and all she could hear was her fathers voice in her head, telling her how to move swiftly on the battlefield, and explaining how to do what strikes, and when to do them. She tried to picture the optimum openings and step backs of her opponents that would let her go in for the kill. As she headed into the armory, her hands tensed up and arms twitched in many, many emotions. In the armory was a page boy, who looked excitedly at Amanda.

"My lady, his Majesty sent me down to help you suit up," he said, his voice young and innocent. Amanda smiled, and gestured to the armor on the walls.

"Well, I believe I'm going to need your help," Amanda said. The boy led her over to a pile or glimmering iron, all laid out for her.

"I took the smallest of everything, and I think it should all fit," the boy said. Amanda laughed lightly, and reached for the chain mail. Sliding it over her head, she continued to put on the thick leather and armor on her body. The boy strapped the sword around her waist, and then ran off. Amanda looked after him, a funny expression on her face, but smiled once more when he returned. The boy was leading in the most magnificent horse she had ever seen. It was huge, and a shining ebony in every angle of light. Amanda walked forward, and reached her hand out to touch him. His coat was silken, and neat. His brown eyes looked at her in calmness, and utter majesty. Amanda stood for a moment in total respect of the horse, and then mounted, her leg swinging high and her body in a comfort zone. Racing out of the armory, Amanda was enveloped in the bedlam that was now Camelot, and she looked for someone to direct her. Up ahead she saw the other cavalry, and she joined them.

"Lady Amanda," one man whispered to another, and both looked in disbelief. However, the looks they gave her would be the last ones they would be able to give to her in a long time. For then, out of the sky, came raining fury.

* * *

Gurshion grinned as the rest of the catapults went into their lines. The newly arrived Saxons decided against resting and wanted to go right into action. Gurshion had no objections, and thought that another attack at this moment would be just as surprising as the one originally planned. Looking on, and barking out orders, the first two catapults let out flaming bombs, aimed at the great wall of Camelot.

Torches made their way down the assembly line of warriors, and at a faster rate, the shooting stars of war also became the light at the end of many lives. As they slung up into the air, and came streaming down, rocks were added into the mix, and crashed against the wall. As the rain kept crashing down on to the city, Gurshion crossed his arms over his chest, and telling his generals what, exactly, would be happening next.

"When we break open the wall, we wait, and draw them out. The more of their men we draw out, the less time we have to spend trying to fight our way into the place. We send in, immediately, one legion of men, and give them ample time to do what they need to do. Then, one more follows. As their lines get weaker, we overwhelm them, and then swarm into the city. By then, I think all of the people will be gone, but I don't want the people," Gurshion said.

"I want the people!" demanded one Saxon general.

"I don't care what you want," Gurshion replied.

"You don't? Then I'm taking my ranks home," the general threatened. Gurshion looked at him, and rolled his eyes.

"And what do you propose we do?" Gurshion asked.

"I say we attack all at once, still overwhelming them, but also getting the maximum kill. Forcing our way in there, and once were in take all as either prisoners, or for dead," he said. Gurshion considered this.

"I think we should send in waves, and use the catapults more heavily. Attack the gate of the wall, and our men take the sides. They can set up the ladders, and pick off the archers from up above," said another. Gurshion liked this idea far better, but knew that in the former, the maximum kill would be very helpful. So, he decided to combine the two.

"Redirect the fire to the gates. Move the catapults forward for a harder blow, but no men shall go forward. They will wait," Gurshion said, and his plans were being carried out as they unfolded before the other minds of the generals.

* * *

_Review my dears._


	28. The Second Fight

Chapter 28: The Second Fight

Note: It shook me all night looong, yeah it…shook me all night long! I'm silly, I know.

* * *

The line of soldiers passing buckets of water was one of the least effective things Amanda ever witnessed. Pushing her way up to the bridge over the gates, Amanda searched for Arthur, wanting to know what should be done.

"What are you doing up here?" Asked Arthur, his hands going to each of her sides, and holding her.

"I want to know what I should be doing down there to get rid of that fire!" She had to yell in order to be heard.

"Tell them to stop with the water and get back into their ranks! The enemy will be coming!" Arthur yelled to her. Amanda nodded in understanding, and turned to go, but Arthur caught her.

"Amanda, you don't have much time. You need to stop fighting at one point and go back down to the keep," Arthur said. Amanda gave him a look. "Amanda, you can come back once you assure that everyone is calm and there is nothing more you can do for them, but please, there is more to war than fighting. There are more ways to achieve glory than just skating by in battle." Amanda nodded to him again, and darted back down to the fire line. Going to the source of the water, she stopped the bucket passing.

"The King says to stop this line and get back into your ranks for the enemy is coming!" She yelled as another fire ball came in on them. The man nodded, and took his position in line, as did a few others. Stopping and repeating herself, she told them to pass on the word. Then, going to the middle of the line, she said the same thing, and they passed it on and left. Heading towards the front, Amanda did not expect to receive the welcome that she did.

"His majesty says what?" a man asked.

"To stop this and get back in your rank, for the enemy is coming!" Amanda said louder.

"I heard you woman. Tell the King that if we don't save these buildings, it will spread," he said with a haughty attitude.

"Anything can be rebuilt except for a person," Amanda said back. The man gave her a mean look, and stood up straight.

"You listen to me woman; we don't go by what a lady says. We use common sense and mans intuition, not flighty emotions," he said coldly. Amanda stood up straight as well, and looked at him square in the eye.

"You will do as told by your king," Amanda threatened. The man leaned forward to hit her, but Amanda thought quicker and punched him in the jaw, just as Marc Hughman came forward to stop him. The man stumbled backwards as the others scattered to their ranks. Marc stepped in front of Amanda and lifted his arm waist high, protectively.

"You should know better Burg," Marc said as Burg straightened himself to dignity again.

"You wench!" He cried, the heel of his hand touching his lip that was reddening from his own blood.

"Burg, there are bigger things to consider now than her. Get back to where you belong," Marc said sternly, with a quiet force that another man had to either respect or fear, and more likely fear than anything. The man named Burg shot Amanda one last look of disdain, and went back to the lines. The fire blazed beside them, Amanda's cheeks were turning pink from the heat, and she looked up at Marc as he turned to her, his dusty brown hair sticking out in all directions. Suddenly, the two were thrown apart by another bomb from the sky, and Amanda fell to the ground. Huffing, she had no patience, and swung back up on her horse as half a legion of men pulled a catapult up closer to the wall. The great black beast she was astride never once quivered and Amanda went back to her own group of riders. Galahad was there, and he looked reassuringly at Amanda.

"What are we to do Galahad?" Amanda asked, trying to shout to be heard.

"The riders are to wait here. Gurshion is trying to lessen our numbers by a greater attack, so once they send their men make the first attack on us, our legion of men will go forth, and you'll go out with our legion, and try to cut through the lines," Galahad shouted.

"Stone!" a very loud man cried instants before rock that had to weigh at least a ton hit the top of the wall and sent other rocks spewing down upon them. Amanda ducked her head, and her horse moved away as dust came up and choked her throat, the smoke stinging her eyes.

"Amanda!" She heard Galahad cry.

"I'm here!" She answered. The dust began to lift and another stone came crashing into the wall. Studying the wall, she looked for the impacts.

_Is Gurshion really that simple?_ She asked herself. _He's not even aiming for the archers and the upper deck on the wall. Why are the stones hitting the empty spot of the wall?_

"Galahad," Amanda called out, and he appeared beside her.

"What?" he asked.

"Did anything happen to the wall so that it may be weaker in one spot than another?" Amanda asked.

"The only thing I can think of is a few years ago, about a month after you left, there was an awful storm. I mean, it rained for a whole week, heavy downpour. It made the dirt loosen beneath a part of the wall and a section went tumbling down," Galahad answered.

"Where in the wall did this happen?" Amanda asked, slightly worried.

"I think it was this bit, right here in front of us," Galahad answered, his long arms stretching out to point to the area where Gurshions' catapults were hitting. Looking up to the top of the wall, a new group of archers were readying their post for the advance.

"Damn it!" Amanda cried, and leaped off her horse, bounding full speed to the stairs. Racing up, skipping two at a time, she saw another huge boulder coming at the wall, ready to strike the same place. Pumping her legs and arms, she reached to top just as the boulder hit, and the whole wall trembled and quaked. It had obviously made a deep impact on the sturdiness of the foundation, and Amanda could not let this happen.

"Arthur!" she cried out, not being able to see him.

"Amanda?" she heard a voice.

"Arthur!" she tried again. Then, she felt a hand on her arm, spinning, she looked up at him.

"Arthur! The walls' weak spot is being attacked and if you don't get those archers off soon the whole thing will crumble to bits and –" Arthur had grabbed her wrist and was dragging her into the gate keepers room, where someone was at least audible.

"Start again," he said quickly.

"The weak spot!" Amanda said, pointing outside.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"Gurshion is using two of his catapults to break down the weak spot in the wall. Galahad told me that section of the wall, where you just set up the new band of archers, fell down a few years ago after the base was washed away in the rain. It's weaker than the rest of the wall, and it's going to come down. Get those archers off that section," Amanda explained, and she took in a big breath after letting it all out. Arthur looked back at the men, and pointed.

"You heard the woman!" he said, and the mutterings of "yes, your majesty," were lost in the sounds of war. Arthur looked back at Amanda, and did not say anything. Amanda blinked a few times, confused, and then turned to walk out.

"Amanda," Arthur said, and Amanda looked back. Just as Arthur opened his mouth to say something, the whole wall shook, and Amanda doubled over, her hand crashing on the stone to save her balance. The loud crash was deafening in her ears, and Amanda looked out through the door to see the wall suddenly broken open.

"Arthur! They've broken through!" Amanda cried, and Arthur took her hand to pull her back up, simultaneously dashing out the door. Amanda followed, drawing her sword, noticing a ladder leaning up against the side of the wall. Looking over the edge, Amanda saw Saxons crawling up the ladder like bugs.

"Ladders!" someone cried, and a man came beside her, ready to push it over.

"Wait!" Amanda barked, another fireball whizzing through the air.

"For what?" he asked.

"For them to be far enough up the ladder!" she answered, and as the first Saxons head was about four rungs from the top Amanda pushed the ladder back, her sword slicing at the ropes that held it together. It went crashing down, and the man nodded.

"Do it like that man!" Amanda yelled, and he went off. The archers dipped their arrows in the fire to make their arrow heads invincible, and she looked back into the city to see the first legion of men fighting at the break, the horsemen anxious to get at it. An idea sprung to her, and she raced down, leaping on to her horse the moment she reached him.

"Horsemen!" she bellowed, and a few noticed, "Horsemen!" she tried again, and more responded.

"Yes, milady?" one asked. Amanda thrusted her sword into the air, and cried:

"Follow me!" Spurring her horse off in to the left, away from the break, she sped to the gates.

"Open the gates!" she ordered, and the gates were opened just enough for her and her men to get out. Veering back to the right, she lowered her sword out to her side, and her hair flew back as her great horse thundered through the field. As they neared the break, the other Horsemen understood what she was doing, and sped to be with her. Charging at the back of the group, Amanda slashed her sword through her skin and bones of a few Saxons. Turning sharply and going at them again, some Saxons had turned to face them, and as she weaved in and out of the dust clouds, the metal of her sword met with the necks of two more Saxons. As she was about to make her third time through, she heard more cries of the enemy men, mixed with the hoof beats of other horses.

"Men!" she cried, facing the noise, letting out a loud yell as she caught the figure coming at her. Stopping short, she let her enemy slide by her, her sword meeting his side, and the tip of his blade catching her face. Gasping, she felt her warm blood on her skin, and turned to face the man again.

"Get off your horse man!" He said, and she saw him come forward. Getting down, she felt the dust clouds clearing, and she saw many more enemy infantry coming towards them. Amanda looked at her opponent, and grinned.

"A woman?" he asked, and Amanda nodded. He laughed, and she charged him, her blade touching his, and he slide off to the left. She couldn't hear anything he was saying, but she didn't really care. He lunged at her, and she parried him off, her blade slicing the back of his neck. He fell to the ground. Standing behind him, she pushed the tip of her blade down into the back of his head. He collapsed in an instant, to a woman.

* * *

Arthur looked through the fields, searching for her. She had been out there a long time, and the enemy numbers were growing as his were decreasing. He was doing his best to ward of the enemies that came over the wall on their ladders, and keep his men in line. But, as he looked out to the tree line as more and more men poured through them, he knew. He knew the city would be overrun by daybreak, no matter how many Knights he had. He needed Amanda to come back and get the women and children out. And it had to be done now.

Looking over the wall, he saw another ladder making its way up. Stepping to the side, he knew it would be moments before they were upon him. Up it came, and it began to move back and forth as some man made his way. Arthur readied his hands, and gripped his sword tightly. He saw the head of a Saxon emerge over the stones, but suddenly, the ladder started falling backwards, and the man cried out as he fell from Arthurs view. Dashing forward, he saw Amanda on a brilliant black horse stepping back and slashing at the enemy around her, clearing a radius and frightening the others.

"Amanda!" he bellowed down. She looked up, her blonde curls loose and all about her face in madness. She raised her eyebrows in a questioning manner, and he waved her up. The deck, at the moment, was clear, and Amanda sped off to the gates.

* * *

Gurshion was pleased with the progress, and wanted nothing more than to hear Arthur writhing in pain when he was through. He looked up as his scout came forward, a greasy, slinking man who hunched over and had no life in his eyes.

"Master," he hissed, and Gurshion grinned.

"What news from the front?" Gurshion asked.

"All is going as planned. There a some successful ladders and the break in the wall is proving most effective. But, more men are needed there," the man said.

"What do you mean, more men are needed? And why are there only a few successful ladders?" Gurshion asked, suddenly unpleased.

"Well, Sire, the Horsemen came out and attacked the rear of the group, taking out many men. Then, a woman killed Mannius, and our riders were dispersed. The same woman also took down two ladders single handedly," the snake said. Gurshion froze, and his hand shot out at the man's throat.

"Orhus, why wasn't this woman taken care of?" he asked angrily.

"Every attempt made she beat out," Orhus said, wheezing and sputtering, "But I'm glad to report she has been removed from the battlefront by the King." Gurshion dropped him, Orhus clutching her throat and sliding against a tree.

"He removed her?" Gurshion asked.

"Yes, just before I came back," Orhus answered.

"Why are you taking her away Arthur?" Gurshion asked quietly. Looking up, he folded his hands behind his back, and looked at Orhus.

"I need you to send this message to the Saxon general, Orhus. Tell him that if he wants the people of Camelot he best send in the rest of his men now," Gurshion said.

"Should I wait for a reply, Sire?" Orhus asked.

"Tell him that I expect his reply to be the action, or lack there of. But make sure he understands that if he does not send his men now, he will not catch them."

* * *

Amanda met Arthur at the top of the wall, the city in flames behind them.

"What is it Arthur?" Amanda asked.

"I need you to get those in the Keep out. Now," Arthur ordered. Amanda felt the blood leave her body, and she wouldn't let go of Arthur's arm.

"Arthur, you really think-" He cut her off.

"I know we cannot win this war. There is nothing left of Camelot to save anyway," Arthur said, looking at the flames and city blazing before his eyes.

"Arthur, we can still win this!" Amanda protested.

"No, we can't Amanda," he said. Looking at her carefully, he noticed her pale skin and short breaths. He leaned into her ear, his voice soothing and smooth, "Do not be afraid, Amanda. Please, I cannot bear it if you are afraid." Amanda forgot herself and rested a hand on the back of his neck, looking at him, her hand slowly sliding down his neck and shoulders, her fingertips brushing his curls and her eyes penetrating his. She was no longer afraid, and she nodded to him. Stepping back and turning away, she was ready to go down the stairs.

"Amanda, remember what I said. Wait until you hear the trumpets sound, the latest. Do not wait for anyone else after that," he said his face stern. Amanda nodded, and she headed back down the stairs. Sprinting back into the palace, she headed straight down to the keep. Her steps were determined, and quick. Jogging down the ramp, and steps, she opened the door, and the whispers of her entrance were like a wave. Getting the nearest guard, the one who had done the names earlier, she told him to open up the door to the tunnels, and get a lot of torches. A few guards left to go get torches and fire, and Anys hurried up to her.

"Anys, I need you to gather the extra blankets, and as fast as you possibly can go get the Caretaker. Can you do that quickly?" Amanda asked.

"I can, Amanda." Amanda nodded, and then got up on the platform.

"People, please, just follow my instructions. We are leaving Camelot, and we are to travel through the tunnels to the safe place. I know, I know your husbands, fathers, brothers, and friends are still out there fighting. But, they fight to keep you safe. And I know you are worried about whether they have lived, or died, but they have done all they can to protect you. Your homes have been destroyed in fire and hate, but those do not matter. You are Camelot, and you need to carry the indestructible spirit of this place on to new lands and to new people. Your fearless king has promised me that he will pull back as many men as he can before the demise our enemies have for us swamps them all, but remember. For those of you that will learn about the loss of a loved one, you were given this day to survive! Those tunnels are our keys to carrying on their memory and guaranteeing the future of the people of Camelot! So go!" The response she received was more than she had hoped for, and though she saw many frightened and worried faces, they followed the guards that had rushed back downstairs with the light to go forth. Anys soon returned as well with the Caretaker, who came to her side.

"What is it, my dear?" he asked, the strain in his voice giving way his calm complexion.

"I need you to go with them. The wounded will need you, and there are many elderly amongst us. You will help ease the journey," Amanda said, gently and pointedly. There was no time to waste now. Nicolarious walked up to Amanda as the Caretaker stepped away to join the people. Amanda saw him, and threw her arms around him, kissing his forehead.

"Nicolarious, I thought you were up on the front," she said, letting go and looking at him.

"No, Arthur made me promise to stay down here. He said it would be easier on your nerves," Nicolarious explained. Amanda smiled, and nodded, "What do you need me to do, Amanda?" he asked. Amanda looked at him, and then darted her eyes to the tunnel entrance.

"I need you to go with them Nicolarious," Amanda said, rubbing her hands up and down Nicolarious' arms.

"What?" he asked.

"I need you to go with them. I will meet you at the safe place, if not somewhere along the road. I promise. I have one more thing I need to take care of," Amanda said, walking her brother over to the Caretaker. Nicolarious looked up at her disapprovingly, but then nodded.

"Alright," he said, and Amanda turned to leave the Keep, "Amanda," he called her back, "don't do anything foolish." Amanda smiled, and then left the Keep, running up the stairs and halls out back into the palace. Servants were rushing to the Keep, and Amanda pointed them in. She, however, ran the opposite direction to get to her room. If she could help it, she wasn't going to let those damned Saxons have her valuable things.

* * *

Arthur had finished clearing the upper deck of the wall, and he had one last trick up his sleeve to get his men to safety. There was a large boulder on the top of the wall, and while the infantry held the enemy at the break, he was going to have the rest of the archers and horsemen push the boulder down, creating a distraction. As the men ran back to the palace, there were others that would lock the gates and lock the doors behind them, giving them just enough time to get to the Keep and shut the tunnels up. Or, that what was supposed to happen anyway.

"Gawain, do the archers know what to do?" Arthur asked as the two walked swiftly to the wall, the smoke hanging over them as the fire had gobbled up every possible area but the castle.

"Yes Arthur, they do," he answered. Arthur looked back at the trumpeter, and was ready to give the signal. He looked out over the wall towards the forest, and he could feel Gurshions eyes meeting his. Arthur gritted his teeth, and remembered how Gurshion had driven a stake between him and Amanda, and how much pain he had caused him. This wasn't the end, Arthur swore to himself silently, Gurshion and he would have there day against each other, and Arthur would beat him.

"Arthur!" Gawain yelled, calling the King back to the world. Arthur waved his hand, and the trumpet rang out three clear notes, signaling the infantry to move back and the others to charge the boulder. In a moment their shoulders crashed against the rock, and their legs dug into the stone, all their might pushing against their last hope to get away. The boulder moved, and rolled off the break, crashing down upon the enemy. After it fell, the men ran back, off the wall in a great hurry, their legs pumping like they never had before, and the infantry men sheathing their blades for what seemed like the first time in an eternity. They ran, and sprinted back into the castle, the first two men stopping to ready the doors for locking. But, then, something happened that Arthur hadn't planned on. Behind him, a great explosion shook his body and lurched him forward. Spinning to see the cause, he saw that the gates had been blown open by another boulder that hit just the right spot. His mouth opened in some disbelief, and if it weren't for Galahad grabbing his shoulder, Arthur would have stood there until the enemy came racing through that way; something they would do in a moment anyway. What was left of the army had made it back into the palace, and was dashing to the Keep. Arthur ran with them, the last of his Knights in front of him and racing to their only hope. As they turned the corners and went down the halls to the Keep, the distance never seemed to end. The enemy could be plowing through the doors at any moment, and he just hoped that Amanda had done what he had asked her to do. He hoped that he could get all the people to safety, and prayed that Gurshion wouldn't be able to figure out where they had fled to. Knowing Gurshion, though, Arthur believed all he wanted was the palace. If he had Camelot, Gurshion could convince himself that he was King, regardless if Arthur was alive or not. The men rounded the final corner through the hall, and they continued through the secret tunnels to the Keep. Arthur shoved all those behind him through the door, and once everyone was in, followed, slamming the door shut and carrying on. As he sprinted by the overlook to the Keep, he saw it was empty, and let out a breath of relief, glad that Amanda had, for once, followed some orders. They continued down the way, and soon enough they had reached the Keep. Going through the door, and simply continuing on towards the other side, Arthur took the last guard by the shoulder, and pushed him into the escape tunnels.

* * *

Amanda had run as fast as she could back up to her room, and running to the blue egg on her desk, she shoved it into her tunic. Searching for her mothers' necklace, she was tearing through drawers when she heard a loud crash. The enemy must have been trying to break through the doors. Amanda had limited time to get back down to the tunnels in the Keep. Finally finding the necklace, she put it around her neck, and raced out of the room. The loud thudding and crashes continued, each one with a more sickening crack as the doors began to break under the pressure. Amanda couldn't run any faster, and yet, with each crash, she seemed to slow more and more. What seemed like an eternity later, she reached the bottom of the stairs, jumping the last five, and crashing to the stone floor. Yelling in pain, Amanda held her aching knees off the floor with her arms, and winced in pain. Another thud shook the ceiling, and Amanda lifted herself up again. As she stood, her right ankle joined in on giving her pain, and she hobbled as fast as she could down the hall. As she pressed on, her ankle easing, and her pace quickening, she thought of all the things in this palace that could possibly never be in her hands again. All the books she hadn't read, and all the rooms she had yet to enter. The chapel that probably would never be prayed in again, and the outdoor altar where she would never marry Arthur at.

_Arthur,_ she thought, _He's going to be so mad at me._ _He told me not to wait, and I ran off to get jewelry. They'll be coming in soon, I hope. I can't just leave him. _

Amanda had finally gotten to the Keep door. It was shut, and even though she didn't remember shutting it, she probably had. Grabbing the only torch left on the wall, she plunged into the darkness as another dangerous thud erupted from outside. She ran down the tunnels, and when she reached the bottom of the Keep, she ran forward. The tunnels had been closed.

_Why are the tunnels closed? _Amanda screamed in her head. _I can't open them for the remainder of the army when they come! Unless..._

Then, there was a faint sound of yelling. Amanda ran forward to the tunnel door, and pressed her ear against it. There was a sound no sound that she could hear coming from the other side. She leaned away and the sound continued. It grew louder, and louder, until Amanda realized what had happened. The enemy had broken through! Amanda looked up at the ceiling, and at the overlooking balcony, and the sounds of many voices continued through the building.

_They can't find me,_ Amanda reassured herself silently. _They can't. _

But she was wrong. The enemy came poring through the tunnels, and Amanda knew they were coming. She heard their cries ringing out, and suddenly, men were at the balcony. They threw down ropes, and Amanda took out her sword. The first man that came at her had jumped fifteen or so feet high down from the rope, and he was a large man. The sweat, dirt, and blood dimmed the gleam from his bald head, and Amanda knew she wouldn't take him down. Raising her blade, someone shouted from overhead: "Don't touch her!" Amanda looked up to see a crooked grin on the face of Gurshion. The bald man backed down, and Amanda glared at Gurshion. He disappeared for a few moments, and as more and more men poured down from the ropes, Gurshion made his entrance at the door.

"Amanda Marslyn," he said with a sickeningly smooth voice.

"Traitor," Amanda hissed, her hand gripping her sword tighter.

"Oh, come now Amanda. You don't want to hurt me," he said, stepping towards her.

"You assume too much, you scum. I want to watch every ounce of blood leave your body," Amanda said back.

"And what makes you think a woman could do that?" Gurshion asked, circling Amanda like he was a vulture, waiting for his prey to finally fail and falter enough to go in for the kill. But Amanda stood strong.

"Because without a woman, you would cease to exist in the first place," she said smartly. At this he grabbed her throat and she felt his fingertips digging into her veins.

"Don't be so swift to place yourself on such a high throne, you self-righteous brat," Gurshion yelled. Amanda knew that the less she responded, the angrier he would get. She was determined that he would not break her, and as less and less air reached her lungs, she stayed perfectly still, indifferent to him.

"I would advise you the same, Gurshion," she said. He dropped her, her neck red and his eyes burning with hatred. Then, he laughed.

"Unfortunately, I can place myself on a high throne, Amanda. You see, I have defeated the great King Arthur. I have burned Camelot to the ground, and the weak and wounded left here will be forced to succumb to my will. Including you," he threatened. Amanda didn't blink, "But, I shan't be too harsh on you, for I owe you a great deal. I owe almost this entire victory to you, my dear," he hissed. Amanda felt vomit in her stomach.

"You haven't defeated him. He is alive, and well. And Camelot is only partly burned. True, you destroyed houses and buildings, but the people are alive, and safe. Wherever the citizens of Camelot go, that place will be Camelot. Wherever they turn will be home. Their spirits are still intact Gurshion, and that is something you won't ever touch, no matter how many false alliances you make with enemies," Amanda said, her eyes icy daggers stabbing at Gurshions' face. He did not back down though, and she knew that every word that slid out of her mouth felt like a whip on his back, "So really, Gurshion, dear sire, all you are left with is a bunch of rocks and now useless farmland. And a bunch of Saxons that will stab you in the back." Gurshion yelled in fury and hit Amanda hard on the head, she crashed down and her temple hit the corner of the platform. She looked up as her vision blurred, and Gurshion stood over her.

"His pathetic love for you resulted in the fire, and death that brought down this city. Once he realizes you're still here, trapped in a new hell hole, doing dirt and disgusting things, I assure you, Amanda, he'll come back. And when he does," Amanda could barely make out the sword in Gurshions hand, which he was running his fingers over, "he will be defeated once and for all."

All went black.


	29. Ugly

Chapter 29: Ugly

Disclaimer: I do not own Arthur or any of the characters in the movie, King Arthur. I am, however, the creator of the majority of the other character in this novel, as well as in its prequel, The Look of Hope.

* * *

Arthur was the last through the tunnel, and that was after he had made several sweeps through the last quarter mile to make sure he had not missed anyone in the dark. When he came out for good, he had the way sealed off, and the people kept moving through the forest about another mile. They then happened upon a large clearing in the dense woods and settled there. Many fires were started, and tents that housed three families at a time were pitched from cloths hidden along the tunnel, and ropes gathered from battle. There was of course, a separate tent for Arthur and his Knights. Amanda and Nicolarious were to stay with him too, and it wasn't until Nicolarious brought up the question that Arthur gave a thought to Amanda.

"Arthur, have you seen my sister?" Nicolarious asked, his voice tired while the Caretaker finished examining his legs.

"No, Nick, I haven't. Where was she last you saw?" Arthur asked his voice suddenly strained.

"Last I saw she was leaving the Keep," Nicolarious answered.

"Then she must be around here somewhere," Arthur answered.

"No," Nicolarious said, "she was going back into the palace." Arthurs face dropped, and his shoulders went down.

"And you haven't seen her?" he asked, his voice suddenly quiet. Nicolarious shook his head. Arthur rose up, and dashed out of the tent. Going to a near by guard, he pulled him to him.

"Have you seen Amanda Marslyn?" Arthur asked.

"No, Your Majesty," the guard answered.

"Order a search party. I want this camp combed to find her. Report to me the instant you know anything," Arthur demanded. The guard nodded and darted away. Arthur walked on, looking for his Knights. He spotted the long hair of Gawain, and shouted:

"Gawain!"

"What is it Arthur?" Gawain asked, sensing the stress in Arthur's voice.

"Have you seen Amanda?" Arthur asked.

"No, Arthur, not since the break we had in the Keep. Why?" He asked. Arthur gave him a look with disappointment in his eyes.

"No one has seen her," Arthur said quietly. Gawains face went pale and he couldn't tear his eyes away from Arthurs.

"Damn it," Gawain said, and Galahad came over, his tired face looking confused.

"What? Please, you two, don't start arguing again," Galahad said, but went silent when Gawain gave him a sidelong glance.

"We can't find Amanda," Gawain said, and Bors slammed his fist against armor that was lying around.

"Didn't you tell her not to wait for us?" Bors asked.

"Yes, I did. But, she wasn't in the Keep when we passed through. I thought she had gone ahead. Nick just told me that she left the Keep when she sent the people out," Arthur answered.

"Foolish girl," Jols said, and Arthur shot him a look.

"Do we even know for a fact that she's still there?" Galahad asked. Arthur was lost in thought, mentally attacking himself for letting her out of his sight.

"Where else would she be Galahad?" Gawain asked his voice angry.

"Somewhere in the tunnels?" Galahad shot back.

"She's not an idiot Galahad, she can follow _people_," Gawain said. Galahad and Gawain continued to argue, and Arthur fell out of the conversation. He was tried of listening to Gawain argue, and had too much on his mind to stand for it. He walked over to the edge of the clearing, his eyes looking in the direction of what would be the tunnels. All sealed up and blocked off. Amanda wouldn't have made it back out if she was in the palace. They had closed off the entrance when they went through. There was no way Amanda's small frame, despite her strength, could open up those doors. It took two of his strongest men to do it, never mind the fact that she didn't have the wedge to separate it from the stone. He heard the padding of small feet behind him, and looked back to see the small child Amanda had kept with her before the first battle. He smiled, and the toddler reached for him. Lifting her, he settled her on his side, and looked down.

"What's your name, little one?" he asked softly.

"Collette," she said, her voice airy and her word unsure. Arthur looked at her, taking in her light brown curls, and small brown eyes. As he looked at her, he became lost in thought, images of Amanda coming to his mind. This one of her holding Collette on her hip, her head tilted slightly to the side, her blue eyes sparkling and her hair around her face kept repeating in his mind. He longed to see her again, and to tell her how much he loved her.

* * *

Amanda awoke on the cold stone floor of some room. Wincing for a moment, and blinking a few more times, she lifted her heavy head and assumed the room to be the kitchen, which she had never seen before. Looking all around her were other bodies. Bodies of men from Camelot; men that were injured. There was another man in the room, with his back turned to Amanda, whom Amanda could not tag as an enemy or a friend. He was tending to the wounded men, his voice deep and very quiet. Rising from a crouched position, Amanda staid still, and waited for the man to notice her. He looked her way, and when she saw his face, she gasped. It was Marc Hughman, but she would not have recognized him if he hadn't turned his whole body towards her. The entire left side of his face was red and discolored, and it dawned on her what had happened; the fireball that separated them earlier had hit him much harder than it had hit her. She rose and walked carefully over to him.

"Marc, are you all right?" She asked, her voice quiet but concerned.

"Oh, milady, this is nothing," he said in hushed tones.

"Please don't feel obligated to use those ridiculous titles. My name is Amanda. And that," she said pointing, "Is not nothing."

"I've put ointment on it, why are you still here?" he asked.

"Because I am a fool Marc," she answered. He chuckled.

"I doubt that," he said. Amanda rolled her eyes.

"His Majesty told me to go with the people and I went back to my room to get jewelry. Try to tell me I'm not a fool," she said. Marc shook his head.

"You're a fool," he said. Amanda looked aside his large build to see he had been doing his best to bandage and take care of the wounded.

"And you are a good man," Amanda said, gesturing to the other men in the room.

"Most of them are unconscious because of the catapulting that went on, hit by stones that come off the wall and what not. They've already removed many whom have passed," Marc said, squatting down next to another man, and examining a gash on the man's head. The door behind them opened, and two Irishmen came in.

"You!" one said, pointing at Amanda. The other came around to grab her arm, and twist it behind her back.

"His Majesty would like to see you," he said, and Amanda complied with their wishes. She walked and they led her to the throne room. The moment she walked in she was disgusted, and the smell that emanated from the men that were crowded and lounging about in that once beautiful room was disgusting.

"Your Majesty," the Irishmen said, bowing to Gurshion and releasing Amanda. Amanda stood still and looked at the evil man now sitting on Arthur's throne. His legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankle, and his right hand was wrapped around a goblet of wine. He sneered at Amanda, and Amanda simply stared back, hoping that every hateful bone in her body could be conveyed through her blue eyes.

"Amanda Marslyn, you are to bow before royalty," he said. Amanda looked about her, and furrowed her brow.

"I see none to bow to," she said, and knew she would regret it. Gurshion, though looking like he was going to attack her, straightened up and smiled.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Because, you see Amanda, while you were pleasantly unconscious, you agreed at our trial to be my serf for all eternity. I asked if you would speak for yourself, and since you gave no answer, I assumed you were willing. At that trial, I also explained what you are and aren't allowed to do. Speaking to me unless I ask you to is one of the things you cannot do. The punishment you receive for that is ten lashes. Orhus, if you would do the honors," Gurshion said. Amanda was outraged, and suddenly over taken by three men. Two held out each of her hands, forcing her to the ground. The other ripped open the back of her tunic so that her backside was exposed. A small, sneaky man came forward, and Amanda recognized him. He had lived next door to her when she and her family had just moved here. He was still in Camelot when she left, and now here he was, working for the enemy. Her face was pushed to the floor, and her body began to shake uncontrollably.

"I hope you think better to watch your mouth next time," she heard Gurshion say. Then, there was a loud crack and the skin just under her shoulder was split open by what felt like an unrealistically sharp blade. She cried out in pain, and felt hot tears seep out of the corners of her tightly shut eyes as her skin welted and burned in pain. Again there was a crack, and the blade sliced open the skin from her side to her lower back. Amanda yelled out, and she felt the grips on her wrists get tighter as she writhed. Another crack, and her forehead dug into the cold stone as her other shoulder tore open in agony. She could her Gurshion laughing as she cried out, and as the whip kept echoing through the bodies of her enemy laughing. Amanda's body kept shaking, and her heart beat wildly in her body; out of anger and in order to keep blood pumping to the new and fresh wounds that covered her back. Amanda had lost count of how many times the whip had touched her skin. But, on the last one, Gurshion gave Orhus a look that the receiver understood what to do next; inflict as much pain as humanly possible. Orhus turned his grimy face back to Amanda's body, and his wrist twitched. Raising his arm over his head, he snapped his elbow, and sent the whip at Amanda's back. He was good with a whip, and Amanda screamed out in pain as the whip lashed vertically from the base of her neck down her spine. Not only was it the most sensitive area on her back, but it crossed over two other lashes and her skin felt white hot. Her head snapped back in pain, and her body trembled all over. The whip recoiled from her body, and Amanda felt the hold on her body loosen as the men lifted her up. Amanda stood still, her mind numb in pain, but her face still and indifferent to the world around her. The others in the room were jeering and throwing food at her, and Gurshion ordered the men to do something, but Amanda didn't hear him. They turned her around and began walking her away from the throne. Her tunic was coming off her shoulders, but she couldn't fix it. Suddenly, icy water touched her burning back, and the others roared in laughter. Two others came and poured their alcohol over her back. Amanda cried in pain, the alcohol stinging, even though she knew it would help her wounds. Dripping wet and cold, Amanda was forced down onto her knees. A new face came forward; a tall Saxon with a red beard came with a knife in his hand. She faced Gurshion, and she saw him give the man a signal. She kneeled, unmoving, and she felt her hair be lifted up by the Saxon. The knife was sharp, and her curls were cut just below her ears. Her mouth didn't twitch into a frown, and she could see that Gurshions' temper was raising the more and more she appeared to not care. Food was still thrown at her, and she had bits of cheese, lettuce, tomato, and bread all over her. Her face had soot on it from being against the floor, and Amanda still didn't care. She could feel the chain of her mothers' neck cold against her now bare skin, and her tunic sliding further down. Gurshion got up off Arthurs throne and walked forward to Amanda.

"I've never seen an uglier woman in my life," he hissed, "Arthur will never love you now." Amanda looked up at him, and refused to speak.

* * *

Merlin sat and watched Arthur for a while, the man standing in the forest with a child in his arms. When it was darkening, and others were readying their fires, he went to Arthur, and cleared his throat.

"You know, you would make a good father," Merlin said after a moment.

"Ah, if only I had a wife to bear me a child," Arthur said, turning and looking at Merlin.

"Well," Merlin paused, "You've had two already Arthur, how many more do you need?" Arthur looked away.

"You really know how to frustrate people, you know that?" Arthur retorted.

"And you really know how to drag out a relationship before you make a move," Merlin replied, going to Arthurs' side and looking in the direction that he knew was the tunnels.

"I told her I love her," Arthur said, looking at his feet.

"And?" Merlin asked.

"She was asleep."

"Fool!" Merlin exclaimed, "You could take a lesson from your cousin! Just take her up in your arms and kiss her!"

"I can't just do that Merlin!"

"Why not?"

"What if she rejects me? What if she doesn't love me in return?" Arthur cried, putting Collette down.

"Arthur! You cannot be serious! Look at her! Look at all you have put her through! You took her in and then turned her out, you have fought with her countless times, and you sided with a person who disrespected her, denied her trust, didn't believe her, labeled her as a murderer, and indirectly killed the only man that has ever openly loved her! And you think she doesn't _love _you! You're lucky she's still in your life!" Merlin spat at him.

"Don't you think I know that?" Arthur bellowed.

"So why are you letting something as silly as fear hold you back when it has never held you back before?" Merlin asked. Arthur turned away from him hit the tree. Merlin threw up his hands in the air, exasperated.

"She frustrates me so, sometimes. She provokes this anger in me and we're both so stubborn I can't even talk to her sometimes! We spend most of our time fighting than being at peace, and then apologizing we don't even talk!" Arthur said, looking back at Merlin.

"So you don't know if you love her?" Merlin tested.

"Of course I love her!" Arthur said, without even thinking. Merlin smiled and raised his eyebrows at Arthur. Arthur let his head hang back, and her stared at the treetops for a moment.

"How am I to tell her Merlin?" Arthur asked. Merlin shook his head.

"That's for you to figure out; I am no expert in matters of words. But, Arthur, you're not going to have anyone to confess your love to if you don't save her first." Arthur watched as the man of wisdom turn around and walk away from him. Arthur felt a small tug on his fingers, and looked down at Collette.

"Where's daddy?" she asked, in her small voice. Arthur shook his head, his green eyes meeting her brown ones. Kneeling down, he knew that Marc Hughman had been injured in the city when the firebombs were coming down. Kneeling down, and looking at her, he shook his head.

"I believe you're daddy's in heaven sweetheart," he said the best way he knew how to.

"He's with mommy?" she asked. Arthur nodded, assuming she was right.

"Where is Amandaba?" she asked, forcing Arthur to smile at her pronunciation of Amanda's name.

"She's not here right now, but I'm going to go get her very soon sweetheart."

* * *

Amanda had been dragged back to the kitchen where Marc was, her body limp and weak. As soon as the men that dragged her there left, Marc came and tended to her wounds.

"They're not too deep Amanda," he said soothingly, even though he knew she wasn't listening to him. "I'll keep putting this ointment on them, and you shouldn't scar at all." Amanda let her eyes close in peace before she spoke.

"Collette is safe," she said quietly. She felt Marc pause in his work, and then continue.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I left her in the care of my best friend. I am sure she is well," Amanda answered.

"She's all I have left of her mother," Marc said softly.

"She's a beautiful girl," Amanda said back.

"That means much to me, coming from you. The legend of Camelot," he chuckled a bit. Amanda felt the anger well up in her chest again.

"I hate that title," Amanda said, "I have done nothing to earn it."

_Except show the world you love Arthur,_ Amanda criticized herself.

"I beg to differ. You are the majority of what they say. Smart, kind, witty, gentle," he paused, "beautiful." Amanda wasn't phased.

"I don't understand why everyone feels the need to talk about me," she said resentfully.

"You're interesting. And we're all rooting for you. It's like a fairy tale is unfolding before our very eyes," Marc said. Amanda considered it. She knew that if she was not one of the major characters in this "fairy tale", she would be just like Marc, and would be enveloped in the story of Arthur and his new fair maiden. Amanda sighed, and tried her best not to move.

"Thank you," she said, "for everything." Marc moved beside her, and looked down.

"You're welcome. Thank you for taking care of my daughter," he said.

"If we ever get out of here, I would very much like to spend time with her," Amanda said.

"Oh, we'll get out of here," Marc said confidently, "I'm already formulating a plot in my head." Amanda raised her eyebrows at him in surprise, "Oh, it's not quite finished yet. But, don't worry Amanda, when it's complete I'll share it with you." Amanda nodded ever so slightly and felt her back protest in agony.

"I'll listen when you're ready," Amanda added.

If only she had done that the first time around.


	30. This Godforsaken Life

Chapter 30: This Godforsaken Life

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the original King Arthur story. I own only the characters not seen in the movies, the ones I have created myself. This story, and its prequel, The Look of Hope are my own creation.

Note: I'm sorry this took me so long. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and all the holidays in between!

* * *

Two months passed before Arthur could actually consider going back for Amanda. As a snowstorm came upon his people, he did his best to move them to shelter. The Woads that came to help them led them farther and farther East, on to flat lands. Arthur had Nicolarious track the direction of the people so that he would be able to find his way back. Each day that passed meant another day that Amanda could die.

He had talked it over with Bors, and he didn't think Gurshion would kill Amanda. If anything, Gurshion expected Arthur to come back from Amanda.

"When you go back," Bors had said, "you're only going to be able to take her. There won't be time for the others." Arthur hadn't wanted to face this fact, but her knew it was true.

The snow finally lightened enough for the people of Camelot to take a permanent place. The Woads showed them a nearby cliff that they could draw stone from for the construction of their houses, and the game in the area. There was a small lake that was formed by a river, and the fish were abundant.

Arthur sat in his tent one morning, pulling on his boots. His face was worn, and his green eyes tired. He simply longed for the familiar, and the troubles to disappear. He hadn't slept well for months, and he feared he never would again.

"You look terrible," Caia said. He hadn't even noticed her entrance.

"Good morning to you too," he smiled.

"How are you?" she asked, her light voice heavy with worry and concern. Amanda's capture hadn't been easy on her either.

"Lovely," he answered sarcastically.

"Really Arthur, I'm here to comfort you," Caia said, kneeling before him. She stared into the face of her old friend, and he noted her sincerity. Caia understood how her longed for Amanda, for she had longed for Ambrose in the same way.

"I feel as if I am Atlas," he said, "with the world upon my shoulders." He ran a hand through his curls. Caia stroked his hands, and her brown eyes were full of sympathy.

"Is there anything we can do to lessen this weight?" she asked.

"No," he answered.

"Arthur," she said, "You cannot do this all by yourself, you know."

"I do know this," he said.

"Is that why you were constantly looking for a wife?" she asked. Arthur nodded his weary head,

"And Amanda…" she trailed off, questioning. Arthur laughed, as tears came to his eyes.

"Amanda always seemed to be part of the problem, didn't she?" he asked, partially to himself. Caia smiled and nodded.

"Amanda was different, Caia. I've never felt this way about anyone. God, she's so frustrating and angering, and she makes me want to tear my hair out!" he laughed again, and his green eyes really sparkled with tears. "But then she looks at me, and all my worries and problems go away. The way I love her is how love is described in stories. And I wonder does she love me? I know she must, because she wouldn't have stayed around so long if she didn't. But I've hurt her so many times. And the way she looks at Gawain…I begin to think what I see as facts for her love of me as sheer want for her to." He buried his face in his hands, and shook his head. Caia put her arms around him, trying to comfort her oldest friend.

"Arthur, Amanda does love you. I know this. She always will, too. But you have to remember, that love shows itself in many different ways," Caia said, though she was pretty sure of the way Amanda loved him. Arthur took a deep breath, and composed himself.

"Regardless, I need to save her."

* * *

Amanda became so frustrated with her hair that she had one of the guards shave her head like theirs. Her head was now covered with short, soft fuzz. The past two months had been grueling. Her whole body ached, and she was developing muscle in places she didn't know she could. She felt twice her age, and wanted to lay down and never get up. But, every night was full of hope as she and her fellow captives planned their escape. The plan continuously changed, and until one day it all seemed to be the same thing. The army slept, ate, and drank all day, not doing anything. The captives worked on taking down the wall that Gurshion had blown through. Stone by stone was taken away, and Amanda knew that all Gurshion planned on doing was rebuilding it. He said that he would be better than Arthur in that he wouldn't just rebuild one section. Only an idiot would do that.

"But apparently," he hissed, "God destined me to break through that wall, didn't he?" Amanda had never wanted to scream more than at that moment.

As for herself, she had been faring better than she expected. She thought she would be half dead by now, sick and immobile without Nicolarious or Arthur. But finally, one day she realized that Arthur wasn't coming for her, and that she had to get herself out of this mess on her own. It was ironic, actually, for years she had been saved by Arthur now. For the first week she strained her ears and her heart beat sped up when she heard footsteps, expecting it to be Arthur, or Gawain, or _someone_ to save her. Why she had become so dependent on them baffled her, and after a continued dashing of hopes, Amanda realized she would have to do it herself. Marc never tried to tell her Arthur was coming, either. That was the thing Amanda realized about Marc; he didn't pretend or believe things were different than they already were.

About two hours before Arthur began to put on his boots, Amanda and her fellow captives were awakened rudely. Gruff "get up"s met her pale ears, and she tightened her eyes, willing it all away. A guard kicked her back with the side of his foot, and she rolled over, groaning. Ever since her hair was cut she was treated like a man. She didn't mind it. She sat up, and lifted herself to her feet. Walking out the door, she was behind the other men. Her body told her that it was _too _early; earlier than they normally went out to work. She didn't think anything of it. She glanced down at her feet, studying her worn out shoes and the faded brown leather. Her feet were ready to break through them.

They were brought out of the palace, where the platform that Arthur always spoke from was the only normal thing that still stood in the city. Amanda scanned the area, her blue eyes taking in all around her. She looked at the platform, and saw Gurshion preaching to his stupid minions. Filing in around him, Amanda stared, trying to figure out what Gurshion was doing. She stopped behind a large Saxon man, going unnoticed in the crowd. For a moment, she smiled to herself, thinking of Arthur.

_"You can go unnoticed in a crowd…_" he had told her, explaining one of the few advantages of being short. However, she let the memory fleet from her, and she focused back in on what Gurshion was saying. The Saxons and Irish didn't look happy.

"So," Gurshion continued, "thank you very much for all of your help." He turned and nodded to the Saxon and Irish leaders, standing on the platform next to him. "I'm now going to develop the third part of my plan. The captives aren't getting enough done in the time allotted. So, all of you will now be working with them to rebuild the city." Amanda gasped, and then covered her mouth, looking on as the Irish and Saxon leaders turned on Gurshion in anger. But, before they could do anything, other soldiers, ones now working under Gurshion, came up behind the leaders and slit their throats. Each fell to their knees, and Amanda froze, horrified, as they gurgled in pain and blood ran down over their necks and chins. The light left their eyes, and the men around Amanda halted as they watched the men that led them fall over to the floor and die. Gurshion smiled in silent victory, watching their masters writhe in murder.

_What a foolish man!_ Amanda though to herself, _How could he think these men would do anything for him now?_

"Any on who wishes to suffer the same fate shall just step forward now and we will be happy to oblige," Gurshion said, mockingly. Amanda turned her head to see Gurshions new faithful men enclosing the entire group. Marc managed to find himself next to her, and she looked up at him.

"Well what do you think of that?" he whispered.

"I think he's actually gone insane," Amanda whispered back.

"This ill alter our plans," he said to her. She nodded.

"Everything is going to change," she said softly.

"But," Marc said, a thoughtful expression on his face, "this could work in our favor." Amanda looked back at him, wheels turning.

* * *

Arthur had left Caia at the entrance of his tent. He had many things to do. Looking around, families had already begun collecting stone to build their houses with. He watched them, many women and children, carrying pounds of stone to the patch of land they had claimed. As he watched, he felt an anger weld inside of him. His face dropped into a scowl, and he began to think about Gurshion. He didn't understand why other men constantly had to be taking from him. Merlin took his mother, Rome and the Bishop took Knights from him, the Saxons took Lancelot from him, Bishop Ahias took Amanda from him, and now Gurshion had taken Amanda, Lai, Evelina, Amanda again and now Camelot! Galahad walked over to him, noting the anger on his face.

"Yes?" Arthur asked, not bothering to hide is irritability.

"What's wrong?" Galahad asked.

"I'm angry with Gurshion," Arthur answered.

"I am as well. We all are. What are you angry with him for?" he asked. Arthur looked at his people again.

"He has taken things that took years to build. Now all they have left is a giant piece of flat land!" Arthur exclaimed. He was angry that the houses and the palace and the wall and the tunnels wouldn't be completed again in his lifetime, nor theirs.

"Arthur, they seem to be fairing pretty well. They have gotten right to work, building their houses. Maybe, one day, you can take Camelot by storm. But, for now, this is the new Camelot," Galahad reminded him.

"Yes," Arthur grumbled. Galahad realized all conversation would be lost on him, and that he had better go before Arthur had time to question him.

* * *

Amanda was thrown at the floor, at Gurshions feet.

"I see you haven't changed much," Gurshion said, noting her resistance and fury.

"It takes something much more special than this to change me," she retorted. A sharp blow across her shoulder was the response. Gurshion looked at her. Her shaved head and now sharp features. Her hair always made her face seem rounder, and softer, now, she looked almost ugly.

"What do you think of what I did today?" Gurshion asked. Amanda played to his fancy.

"Brilliant. They'll follow," she lied, and sounding as indifferently as she could manage. She couldn't afford to ruin the plan.

"Well, someone has to have them around here," he said back, voice flat. She darted her eyes at him. He wasn't being sarcastic.

"You asked for me?" Amanda questioned, hoping to get the interrogation over with.

"I did," he answered, his hateful brown eyes falling on her again. She stared him in the eyes, waiting. "You see, Amanda, I know all about you. I know you knew this city very well. You love the king so I know you know a lot about the city. I thought I knew everything about it when I was here, but I have come to realize I don't," his eyes narrowed, coming to his point, "Where are they?" Amanda furrowed her brow.

"Who?" she asked. Gurshion got to his feet.

"Don't play with me, stupid girl! Where are Arthur and his Knights?"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. Gurshion bent down, face inches from hers.

"Yes, you do! Now tell me where they are!!" he bellowed, drops of spit splashing her pale cheeks.

"I don't know. Why does it matter? I thought all you wanted was the palace," Amanda answered, her fingers wiping her face.

"You see," Gurshion said, stepping back, "I thought that was all I needed as well. But that night I captured you, and what you said, has made me think. If it's true that Camelot is made up of its people, not the place making the people, then I clearly need to do away with the people, now don't I?" he hissed the last part, making Amanda want to kill him on the spot, "I cannot believe you had an intelligent moment, but I must admit, they're beautiful when they come," his head snapped back to her, "Which is why you're going to tell me where they are!" Amanda was disgusted.

"Why would I tell you where the people I love are when you want to kill them?" Amanda spat at him, "Even if I did know, I'd never tell you." Gurshion charged her, his grimy sausage-like fingers wrapping around her throat.

"You're going to tell me because if you don't I'm going to squeeze the life right out of you," he growled, his face intent and primitive, almost bestial.

"But you see," Amanda choked out, "you can't kill me. I may be the only one that knows where they are."

"If you don't know I'll still kill you," he yelled.

"Death looks like a much better option than whatever the hell I'm looking at right now," Amanda said. Her lungs were closing, and she could feel her body struggling. She was desperately praying that her face wouldn't give away her panic. Her icy blue eyes met his muddy brown ones, and they dueled for a moment. Finally, Gurshion decided she could live. He looked at the guards, and they attacked her. They tore her tunic and trousers, ripping them from her body. She stood stark naked in front of Gurshion and some of the men. They laughed as she was clad again in rags apparently found around the palace. They were tattered, torn and light weight. There was no way she'd ever be able to survive in the cold wearing just this. Amanda looked up from her feet, eyes infuriated and skin pink with passion again.

_Damn Gurshion._

_Damn wars._

_Damn it all and this God forsaken life!

* * *

_

It was dark, and the only light came from the space around the door. She looked around wildly, and then remembered where she was. She had been in this room for days. Gurshion thought he could break her. Amanda licked her dry, cracked bottom lip, and she hugged her knees tighter to her chest. The rags did very little for her body, let alone warmth.

"Amanda?" she heard, a soft voice.

"Yes?" she asked. The door opened slightly, and she saw Marc come forward through the light. She squinted, the dim radiance irritating her dark loving eyes. She could make out Marcs body, and the hand that he had extended.

"I've been sent to get you," he said, soothingly. Amanda found his hand, and he pulled her up. She smiled at him, and they walked out of the tiny room.

"How has it been going?" Amanda asked, barely audible, as they passed the three guards that had accompanied Marc.

"It's been going well," Marc answered, his voice quietly excited, "The men truly hate Gurshion, and a few have expressed that they would be willing to leave Camelot if it meant going home."

"Incredible," Amanda said. They continued on past the kitchen, and towards the Round Table Room. Amanda stared as she walked by, and then stole a glance behind her. The guards had disappeared, and Amanda saw her opportunity. As many times before, Amanda acted on her whim, and dashed through the door. It was dark, but Amanda knew it so well. It smelled musty, and unused. She dragged her fingertips across the backs of one of the chairs, a little dust coming up with her skin. She smiled, knowing the room was blissfully unaware of what was going on. She took a deep breath, and shut her eyes tight.

"I swear to you," she said, her voice soft, "that I shall return to you someday, with all the morals, goals, and expectations that you were founded on." She opened her eyes, and something had changed. Her body was suddenly alive, and her eyes were bright, skin glowing again. She had a new purpose. She now no longer wanted to just get out, _she wanted to come back_.


	31. Rebellion

Chapter 31: Rebellion

Disclaimer: Same as always

Note: Warning, this chapter may be different from what you're used to. Check out my new story, All's Fair in Love and War. A new FanFic about the movie Troy! Don't worry, this one will be finished. :D

* * *

Amanda had been thrown back into that room twice more in the next three weeks that passed. But, every time she did, it was good. Soon, she had begun looking for reasons to be put in there. The reason it was good? She wasn't the only one in there. Marc had been sentenced to confinement in there for a month for refusing to do work. Gurshion had warned him that if he did it again it would cost him his life. Amanda then went about her own ways, and found herself back in confinement with Marc very soon.

As the door slammed shut at Amanda's back for the second time, Amanda fled to Marc, finding him in a corner. He looked much worse than the last time she saw him.

"Oh, Marc," she said softly. Marc looked up at her.

"Amanda," he whispered. Amanda pushed a piece of bread into his hands. Something she barely managed to sneak by Gurshion and the guards. Marc took a bite, and then found Amanda's face with his hand.

"You are so wonderful," he said with his mouth full. Amanda fought laughter, and then sat down next to him. As Marc ate, Amanda explained what had been going on.

"Everything is going according to plan. Gurshion has increased the work load for every Irishman. He favored the Saxons last week, but today he issued an order that all Saxon men will wake up an hour earlier and got to dinner an hour later than all the others. I've never seen an angrier group of people," Amanda said in an excited, hurried whisper. Marc nodded, and then wiped at his mouth.

"Good," he said, his voice rasp, "did you warn Phillius of the potential influx of new members?"

"Yes, I did," Amanda warned. Marc patted her arm.

"Very good, Amanda," he said. She felt his eyes on her in the dark, and Amanda stood up, wanting to stretch her legs. As she lifted up, she heard a tearing noise, and she felt a rush of cold air at her shoulder. She sighed in annoyance, and puts her hands at her back, searching for the new hole. Marc suddenly stood up.

"Marc?" she asked, eyes intent on him. He lifted his shirt off of his back.

"Amanda, take my tunic. Give me that ratty thing," he said quietly, handing out the tunic.

"Marc," she said back, thankful for the dark to hide her burning cheeks, "please, do not ask that of me. I don't want you to get into more trouble for giving me that." She felt his eyes fall on her sternly.

"Amanda, don't be foolish," he said. Amanda looked at him, and shook her head.

"I'm fine, Marc, really. Put your tunic back on before you catch your death of cold," Amanda said, trying to hide her pride.

"You're too stubborn for your own damn good," Marc said, pulling the tunic back over his head.

"Some would say stubbornness was actually intelligence," Amanda countered, not angrily.

"And most would call it stupidity," Marc said, sitting back down. Amanda felt wounded.

"I can't help it if I'm stubborn Marc, and I'm sorry you don't like it. But you do not need to call me stupid because of it," she said quietly, walking to the opposite wall and leaning against it. Silence fell between them for a moment.

"I'm sorry Amanda, I just don't want you hurt," he said, truly sincere. Amanda sighed.

_It's too late for your protection, Marc, _Amanda thought to herself.

"I understand," Amanda said.

"Come back and sit with me?" he asked. Amanda couldn't refuse a man who sounded like he truly wanted her.

* * *

Arthur pushed his meal aside, the half-eaten bread and cheese unappetizing and unsatisfying. He rubbed the back of his head, his green eyes closing and his memory racing. He thought of everything he knew, and everything he had known. He was beginning to forget what had once been so close to him. He had forgotten what exact hair color Dagonet had, and he couldn't quite picture the way Guinevere's lips curved when she smiled at him. He could only remember the current and most consistent in his life of late. It was hard for him to get passed what was right in front of him and revisit the past. He heaved a sigh, and then opened his eyes again. Rising, and walking out of the tent, his eyes caught sight of a blazing fire, and his oldest friends sitting around it. He smiled as he noted Ambrose's hand slung secretively around Caia's waist, and the way that Gawain and Nicolarious were laughing. He couldn't quite understand why, despite so many terrible things happening to them, they were still able to laugh and smile and feel happy. He supposed he was happy too, even when things weren't right. The Knights always made him smile, and his other company didn't make it difficult to forget everything that was going on. Arthur frowned slightly, and furrowed his brow, wanting to be able to forget everything that was going on for once and simply be in the moment. His body ached for a womans touch; the smell of their hair and fine, soft skin. His eyes closed for a moment, trying to regroup himself, but he knew he was far beyond the point of no return. He walked over to the next tent, where Jols resided.

"Jols?" Arthur called, quietly.

"Yes, Arthur?" Jols answered, rushing over to the entrance and coming out.

"Find Sarah for me," Arthur said, secretively. Jols nodded, and turned off into the opposite direction. Arthur watched after him until the darkness had swallowed his figure.

* * *

The cracking of a whip over a back nearby didn't startle Amanda at all. Instead, it made her bend her head down farther, and keep her eyes on her work. She gripped the stone she was carrying tightly, its weight truly out of her ability to handle, but she struggled along. Her back screamed as she leaned the rocks weight back on her, in an effort to keep it up, but she let no emotion prove otherwise. The grunts and groans of men were the only sounds made, no one talking or even breathing too loudly. Amanda's eyes searched the lines for Marc, briefly. He had told her he would be released that morning, and now night had fallen and she hadn't caught a glimpse of him. She let the stone crash away from her body to the ever growing pile, quickly getting out of the way before one was dropped on top of her. Finally, the horn was blown, and everyone tried to straighten their backs in relief. Amanda leaned, and her arms stretched down, biceps sore. She walked back towards the stables, where a bowl of cold table scrapes would be waiting for her. Men walked hurriedly in front of her; men that once had been respectable soldiers and warriors. They were reduced to nothing now. Someone cleared their throat, the signal to Amanda that a member of the rebellion was there. She relaxed a little, and cleared her throat back, her fingertips scratching at her forearm.

"Amanda Marslyn!" cried one of Gurshions servants.

"Yes?" Amanda called back, glad that her manners had not left her quite yet. She saw the man's face come out over the crowd, and she made eye contact with him. He beckoned her over, and she broke through the stream of men in order to reach him. The man then gripped Amanda's forearm very tightly, and marched her back towards the palace.

"Gurshion wants me?" Amanda asked, nonchalantly. The man said nothing in reply. Amanda rolled her eyes. They turned the corner into the palace, and suddenly, his grip loosened.

"You are to stay quiet, do you hear me? Not one sound from your mouth," he warned, leading her in another direction, away from the throne room. Amanda felt panicked. He had led her to serving quarters, and looked cautiously behind him before closing them in, and grabbing a torch off the wall nearby.

"Please," Amanda whispered, frightful memories of Bishop Ahias flooding her body, "anything you want, just don't hurt me."

"Oh hush woman, I want nothing of that sort. I'm here to help _you_," he said, and Amanda closed her mouth. "I know you are the leader of that rebellion, are you not?"

"What rebellion?" Amanda asked, playing stupid.

"You can trust me, Lady Amanda. I know you and that Marc man have been recruiting people to the cause," he said. Amanda felt her heart pounding.

"How did you find out about it?" Amanda asked, worried that Gurshion also knew.

"I usually stand guard at the isolation chamber, and I've listened to you and Marc," he answered. Amanda stepped towards him.

"Whoever you are, I swear to God if you tell Gurshion I will slit your throat myself!" she threatened, ready to harm him on the spot.

"Lady Amanda, please. No one but me knows of your intentions. No one else takes the care to listen. Gurshion has no clue as to what is going on, believe me," he said reassuringly. In the firelight Amanda tried to read him. He had far skin and high cheekbones. He was a very broad man, and had a shaved head and a beard growing on his face, but beneath all of it Amanda could not figure if he was being sincere or not.

"What do you want from it?" Amanda asked.

"Just to help free myself, all of this is bullshit and I cannot stand it anymore. Let me go home to my wife," he said.

"Saxons have wives? I thought you just fucked anything that was on two feet," Amanda said smartly, and she could see she had hurt him.

"I resent that," he said, "I am a very faithful husband." Amanda grinned for a moment, and looked at him.

"I do not doubt you. Well, you obviously have your advantages. You are an inside man, and you work for the Devil himself. You will become a very important piece of our game here…" she paused, waiting for him to fill in his name.

"Darius," he added, and Amanda nodded.

"I see. I will have to deliberate with my fellow peers, and I will tell you when we have made our decision," Amanda answered, her eyebrows raised and still studying this man. His brown eyes crossed hers, and he appeared to be studying her as well. Amanda nodded, and then stuck out her arm.

"I am hungry, so if you could take me back, it would be greatly appreciated," she said. Darius laughed very quietly, and Amanda turned back towards the door. He placed his hand on her upper arm, barely even touching, and Amanda began to think.

_Why is he turning to us when he clearly betrayed his own men the first time? To save his own skin?_

As Amanda returned to the stables, many of the men were finished and glaring at her for her food. She took her seat beside Marc, whom she finally found. Her pulse raced in eagerness as she shoveled the food into her mouth and Marc watched her in some amusement.

"Amanda," he said, "slow down. Your news isn't going anywhere, nor am I." Amanda chewed hurriedly still, her cheeks bulging, pink with excitement for the first time in a long time. Putting her bowl on the ground next to her, Amanda looked at Marc.

"Marc, you'll never believe what has just happened to me," Amanda said, wiping at the corner of her mouth. He looked steadfastly at her, waiting. She continued, "The guard that pulled me aside is in fact not in favor of Gurshion at all, and would like to help us. Amanda knelt down in front of Marc, talking excitedly, explaining all of what happened in hurried whispers. Slowly, before her, Marcs face fell, and his amused smile turned into a frown of disapproval. When Amanda finished, he sat in silence for a long time. The noise of the other men in the room faded as they left, walking by each other to the room where they slept.

"And you trust this man?" he finally asked, his eyes falling on Amanda. She did not hesitate to lock eyes with him, and she nodded.

"Do you not trust my judgment?" she asked; her voice quiet.

"It has not to do with that," Marc answered, "but how can you be positive?" Amanda's eyes narrowed, looking at him.

"Do his words not speak truth?" Amada questioned.

"Amanda, I want to trust you. But I cannot make any judgments as to whether or not he speaks the truth because I was not there," Marc answered, his shoulders falling as he sighed. "You know the risk of exposing our plans to the wrong person. I trust your approval of him." Amanda instantly replayed the exchange between the guard and her. His facial expressions, body movements, and tone of voice all implied sincerity. Amanda had not been fooled before, had she? She sunk down against the stone wall, her eyes intent on her bending knees, a hand on the top of her head. She constantly wanted to know what it was that she missed, if anything. The rest of the men settled down around her, taking up the small floor space they're entitled to in order to try and sleep off the hours of exhaustion that they would once again have to exude in a few hours. Amanda looked around her, looking at their tired faces, covered in dirt and ash. As they closed their eyes and fell into unsatisfactory rest she knew they would be dreaming of their wives and lovers, children and parents that they had left behind. The people they had fought for in order to protect against some evil they couldn't understand. Amanda rested her forehead in her hand, and then looked at Marc. He had been watching her, looking expectantly.

"Marc," she said quietly, "when you sleep what do you dream of?" He paused in thought, pursing his lips as his eyes lowered and head tilted.

"I dream of nothing Amanda," he answered, "I have not had a dream in a long time."

"I dream of many things," Amanda said to herself.

* * *

Merlin sat with many of his fellow Saxons, as a fire blazed before them. Speaking in their own tongues, Merlin contemplated as his men told him of Arthur's weariness.

"This Lady he wants to go after could very well be dead," one of them said. Merlin shot his dark eyes at the man.

"Do not speak so." Merlin scolded. The man fell silent, and Merlin looked back at the fire, "Should Amanda be dead I fear many more things. And, Arthur will not be stopped until he goes back to Amanda."

"He needs to separate himself and move on!" one of Merlin's men cried.

"Silence!" Merlin barked, "Arthur cannot forgive himself if he leaves Amanda and those men. You do not understand what she means to him because you have not encountered this yet. But, do not be so quick to judge that man."

Arthur stood in the middle of the settlement. Most of his people had gone to bed, and were at least inside of their tiny huts. He was looking up at the night sky, the stars glowing and shining as if there was nothing wrong. God made them twinkle like they were dancing. Dancing at some feast where they couldn't be bothered with anything. Arthur was angered by these happy stars. Arthur was angry at God, yet again. Why had he not been watching what was going on? Did he not know that Amanda was suffering and he needed to go and save her? He clenched his fists as he looked up at the sky, not wanting anything to do with God anymore. God had forsaken him. God didn't want him anymore. Arthur sighed, and he knew none of it was true. He none of it was as dramatic as he made it seem, and that, if anything, Amanda would scold him for thinking such things. He smiled to himself, thinking of Amanda and what she would do to him.

His thought patterns often progressed like that. Amanda and those soldiers trapped behind stone walls that once stood as something hopeful to them was painful. Arthur could feel himself failing to all of it. He could not get beyond his feeling for responsibility. He should have _known_ Amanda wouldn't go through with what he told her to do. Arthur furrowed his brow at that thought. Amanda, in fact, never did anything he wanted her to do. Arthur looked up at the black sky again, his green eyes speckled with the light of the celestial beings above him. They reminded him of Amanda. Amanda often sparkled like these stars, and her beauty, compared to these, was far superior despite what emotion she was feeling. Dropping his curly head, Arthur headed back to his tent. He moved slowly, and thoughtfully. Engrossed in what he was doing the next day, his mind quickly changed to when the next clearing was. The clearing to go back to Camelot and get Amanda. He pushed open the flaps of the tent, very quietly, the naked body of a woman wrapped in his sheets inferred that she was sleeping. Arthur sat on the edge of his bed, taking off his boots and tunic. His eyes did not look at Sarah, but Sarah awoke, her hand touching his back.

"Where were you?" she asked softly.

"I went for a walk," Arthur answered, quite monotone.

"Arthur?" Sarah asked.

"Yes?"

"This will all stop when Lady Amanda comes back, won't it?" she asked, the end sounding rather like a disappointed statement than a question. Arthur looked back at her for a moment before lying down.

"Yes Sarah, all of this will stop."

By God, he hoped it would stop. He could not bear the pain any longer.

* * *

Amanda and Darius had been talking for what felt like hours. He had pulled her behind the wall, and they conversed in hushed voices, about what was to happen tomorrow. Amanda figured the best way to Gurshion was to make him paranoid. Start saying things that would make him think the worst was going to happen. So, that when something really did happen, he didn't really suspect it coming. Darius revealed that the best way to get inside Gurshions head was to have him believe someone was trying to poison him one of his followers. That way, none of the workers would get blamed.

It all sounded like such a good plan. It all sounded like it was going to work.

Neither of them expected what happened next.

"Well, well, well," said a squeaky, piercing voice, "I never thought to two of you would be involved." They were being sarcastic, and Amanda turned to see who it was. It was one of the other guards, and apparently one of Gurshions close followers.

The only reason it was so apparent was that he was right at Gurshions elbow. Gurshion had a very crooked smile on his face, and he was staring at Amanda. She pursed her lips together, and all of the witty things escaped her mind. She was really done for now.

"Poison was a very good idea, Darius," Gurshion said softly, stepping forward. Amanda stepped in front of Darius.

"You can have me, but you won't touch him, Gurshion," Amanda said fiercely. Gurshion looked at her again, eyebrows raised.

"The valiant Amanda, coming to a Saxon's rescue…how noble," he mocked.

"I mean it. He had nothing to do with it," Amanda said.

"Amanda..." Darius cut in.

"No," Amanda said, her eyes flashing at Darius, then back to Gurshion, "I seduced him . So that he would do what I wanted him to do." She said it as straightly as she could, and apparently, she did it well, but Gurshion started to laugh.

"Oh this is entertaining Amanda Marslyn," the smile snapped from his face, and he pointed at Amanda. His stupid minions went forward, and grabbed Amanda. Amanda didn't resist. They tied her hands together, and pulled her forward. "What would your beloved Arthur think of you?" Gurshion spat at her.

"He'd be proud," Amanda said back. Gurshion hit her across the face. She gasped, her right eyes and cheek stinging. She was so tired of being hit by this man. Darius moved to her side, and she could feel his fingertips on her elbow. She moved her arm forward, so she could no longer feel his touch. Gurshion grunted, and they dragged Amanda away. Back inside, and down the hall. They passed the kitchen, and the holding cell. They brought Amanda to a part of the palace she didn't know. She figured it must have been the rest of the servant's quarters. They opened some door, and threw her inside, crashing down against the stone floor. She yelled out in pain, and her face screwed up into a wince. The door slammed behind her and everything went dark.

Amanda sat in the dark for a while, tears streaming down her face because of the pain. She dug her fingertips into her head, the tiny shaved hairs on her head scratching uncomfortably. She stared down at what she assumed were her legs, her tired and worn legs. She had ruined everything. Gurshion would find out what he needed to know, and he would kill her, Marc, Darius, and all of them involved with the group. It was all her fault. Everything that ever went wrong was her fault.

Where was hope when she needed it?

* * *

The tears had stopped flowing for some time. Amanda's eyes were used to the darkness, and it felt like she was sleeping all of the time. There was no noise in the hall where she stayed, and there was no noise in her cell. She lay in the middle of the floor, on her side, immune to the cold stones. She had no feeling in her body.

She didn't know how long she had been in there. All she knew was that it was dark when she fell asleep, and it was dark when she opened her eyes. No one came to get her. Sometimes there was food thrown in through a crack in the door. The last two times the food came in, Amanda hadn't touched it.

Then, finally, one day, the door opened, and it stayed open. A body stood in the door way, and blocked the light coming in. Amanda lifted up her head, covering her eyes.

"Let's go," said the voice. Amanda knew it. It was Darius. Amanda stood up, weakly, and she stumbled forward. She was a ruin. The body came forward, gently grabbing her arm.

"He took you back?" Amanda asked, coldly.

"Yes. He believed your story," Darius said, leading her into the hallway. She blinked furiously, the torch Darius held a blinding light.

"Well that's perfect," Amanda said.

"Amanda, why did you do this?" he asked, whispering.

"I had to," Amanda answered. And that's all they would say to each other. She felt him tense up, and they continued to the Great Hall. Gurshion sat on Arthur's throne, and the entire company was in the hall. Not just Gurshions guards, but the slaves as well. Amanda didn't look around for any familiar faces, she simply stared straight ahead. There was nothing to bring Amanda out of her hardness. She was ice cold, and her eyes told the world that. No muscles twitched, she didn't even appear to be breathing. Darius left her before Gurshion, and took a place somewhere on the side of the room. Amanda waited, looking expectantly at Gurshion.

"Amanda Marslyn, what are you guilty of?" he asked. Apparently, this was her trial.

"Planning?" Amanda asked. She wasn't sure what to call it.

"High treason!" Gurshion bellowed, rising from the chair. Amanda could tell he wasn't in a very good mood today. Amanda stared blankly at him.

"If that's what you'll call it, so be it," she answered.

"It would be wise not to get smart with me, girl," Gurshion said.

"I'm not getting smart. I am agreeing with what you call it for lack of better terminology for my crimes," Amanda answered. Gurshion got in her face, trying to intimidate her. Amanda looked at him carelessly, her face blank and expression motionless.

"How long have you been planning this?" Gurshion asked.

"I'm not sure. Some months now, I'd imagine," Amanda answered.

"Who else was planning this with you?" Gurshion asked. Amanda knew many held their breath.

"No one," Amanda said. At this, Gurshion laughed, his stinking breath filling Amanda's nostrils.

"You expect me to believe that you, and a man you seduced, planned to poison me?" Gurshion asked.

"Yes," Amanda stated, quite nonchalantly.

"Who else was with you?" he asked, again.

"No one."

"Liar!" he screamed.

"No matter how hard you bellow, or how loud you scream, my answer will remain the same. It was my idea, and my idea only," Amanda stated. She locked eyes with Gurshion, and raised her eyebrows. She knew part of him believed her.

"I don't believe you," he said.

"Well, fine. But you know I am capable of such things," Amanda said. She had planted the seed.

"Yes, you are," Gurshion admitted. He had done so absentmindedly, and Amanda could tell he hadn't meant to say it out loud.

"This means that I am not lying when I say no one else was with me besides Darius, whom I seduced because he was one of your followers. He would have been able to slip the poison into your food, no questions asked. Therefore, I am the only one guilty," Amanda said.

"You admit to being guilty?" Gurshion asked.

"Yes. There would be no way to convince you otherwise, anyhow," Amanda answered. This entire time she acted as if this was not a matter of life and death. It was, in fact, just a conversation. Or a scene from one of the Roman plays. She had no concerns. No cares. It was as if she wasn't really alive.

"Then I sentence you to death, Amanda Marslyn. You shall be executed in one fortnight, to give the blacksmith time to sharpen his ax," Gurshion said, sitting back down on to Arthur's throne. His guards laughed, and Darius came forward again.

"Take her back to her cell," Gurshion ordered. Darius took her arm, and led her out of the room.

"Are you a fool?" he scolded, the instant they were heading down her hallway.

"If that's what you think," she said.

She cared no more.


	32. Of All The Things I Knew

Chapter 32: Of All The Things I Knew

Note: I apologize for the wait

Disclaimer: It hasn't changed

* * *

It was done. Amanda would never see another dawn again, nor stare at anyone she could ever love, or have loved. She was going to die.

Strangely, it didn't seem to bother her that much.

No one else seemed to be bothered either.

No one had come to rescue her.

No one had said otherwise at the trials.

Amanda was always taking the blame, and everyone let her.

No, she let them walk all over her.

She sat in her cell, thinking these things. They had moved her down into the dungeons. She remembered what had happened before her, being chained to the same wall Arthur had been. Twice now she had brought in foreign people that took over Arthur's palace. Arthur had almost died on her watch. Lai had died. Her parents had died. Edem was dead. And all the reasons revolved around her. Amanda had to go on her foolish walk, which brought her to this foolish palace. Then she had to tell Arthur that the foolish Bishop Ahias and she had a past. And then she had to run away, because she couldn't handle hearing that Arthur didn't love her. Even though he did love her, he had told her he did. They were the best of friends, and that was the best kind of love. It ensured no heart break. But, no, she couldn't have it her way so she ran away.

Always running.

And then she had to involve Edem into her pathetic life, and take him for granted. Then she had to start trouble with Evelina. She had fought with Arthur, and he had rejected her, again, as he should have. And beautiful Lai had stuck with her, because she was so forlorn and selfish, and she had died. Everything Amanda touched died. Finally, oh the bitter chill of that morning that was left when he had kissed her. Beautiful Edem. Gone forever trying to help Amanda in her ridiculous quest to prove herself. To prove herself to Arthur; to clear her name from being a liar. But, there was no way to clear it. She was a liar.

The frigid night air spilled in through the dungeon window, but Amanda sat as limp and lifeless as she could manage. Her eyes were closed, and from any other perspective, she might have appeared dead. Another corpse in the dungeon of the great King Arthur; captive and left to rot.

Much like her insides.

There was no sound around her, and Amanda finally drifted into what she deemed to be her last sleep. Her breathing was steady, and her face looked serene, after many hours of a furrowed brow and sullen face. She lay on her side, legs curled up to her chest, head on her arms, the ratty tunic and leggings she had did her little service in keeping warm. Her breath showed before her face, but her broken blue eyes weren't open to watch the cloud in its concentration continuously expand out into the atmosphere. Her pale ears weren't strained nor focused to hear the faint padding of footsteps down the hall, nor was her placid face turned towards the door. She didn't feel the spontaneous shivers in her arms and legs while her body tried to keep her warm.

She was frail, and beaten down.

Sleeping was her only comfort from all the troubles of the outside world.

The wall her body was pressed against made her smirk, however. She had been locked to her greatest role model. She realized now how stupid she was. There was never a person she wanted to be like. No, Amanda complicated her life because she had tried to imitate an inanimate object. The might stone wall wasn't very applicable to life apparently. She had, before this, seen the stone wall as a great achievement. It could hold all of this weight and never buckle. No matter how many times someone yelled at it, it never showed any infliction. It never showed an ounce of emotion, and it served many a purpose. Amanda had failed miserably at being a stone wall. She now knew she could never be such a thing, and why should she want to be? Women of the truest strength were happy, and sad, and angry and loving! They showed their emotions in a controlled manner, and the people of the world praised them for it! Amanda was only recognized for her face and for her temper. No one knew her mind, because she had been so busy pushing people away. Amanda had realized that her greatest effort so far in her pathetic life was a lie.

This didn't seem to bother Amanda. She didn't stir in discomfort or disturbance. She simply closed her eyes and let out a breath. There were only so many times she could disappoint herself. There were only so many times she could disappoint the people she cared about.

* * *

_The rain was falling heavy on her head now. Her shoulders rose and fell excitedly, her fingernails digging into her palm, worked up and angry. She turned her head, wet curls flying to the side, her blue eyes meeting his. His majestic green eyes, and his moppy black curls. It didn't matter hos seemingly perfect he looked, she was angry. Her throat throbbed from yelling; they had been fighting again. Beads of water ran over the curves of her face, and her boots squished as she impatiently shifted her weight from side to side. She waited for him to say something. Waited for a new point in the argument so she could continue screaming. Always angry, and never listening. He didn't say anything, but instead took a step closer to her. His hand reached out into the static and tense air between them without hesitation. It slid over the side of her face, and to the back of her neck, is hands warm despite the precipitation. His other hand wandered to her waist and he pulled her to him. She tensed in slight objection, but before she could say anything he pressed his lips to hers, kissing. It was shy at first, the great king of Briton afraid of her ridicule. She fell a little limp in his strong arms, caught off guard and overwhelmed with emotions. He broke away, looking for her approval. Amanda met his eyes again with a completely different tone and meaning. She didn't care what he said now, she would have done and agreed to anything. All she wanted him to do was kiss her again. He chuckled and smiled like only he could, and they kissed again. Happiness availed. _

* * *

There was a soft stroking at Amanda's cheek when her eyes opened again. Her hands had been undone from the locks on the wall, and her frail body was wrapped up in some massive cloak. She sat up, blue eyes searching for the person who had rescued her, finger feeling wildly at the cloth and the stone to make sure she had not already died.

"Be still Amanda," said the voice. Amanda's heart dropped and stopped at the same moment. Their hand reached and grabbed her shoulder reassuringly. It was so dark in that damned dungeon, and all she wanted to do was gaze upon their face. They lifted her up on her feet, but she was so weak all she could manage to do was a crumple against their body. They gripped her firmly, and held her face in their hands.

"Amanda, I know you're tired, and I know you're weak, but you must try your very hardest to bear with me. We must walk out to the side, then I will carry you, all right?" Amanda nodded and lifted her body away from theirs. They took her small hand and lead her slowly away from her stone wall. They walked against the opposite wall, careful of the guards about the palace. They looked around the door frame to make sure the hall was empty, and it was a straight shot to a small open window. The dungeons of the palace faced the rear wall of the kingdom. Amanda knew that if they got out that window, and it was dark enough, there would be no problem getting to just out the border. The setting beyond the window looked pitch black, not even a torch on the distant wall. They moved through the door, but her savior did not head for the window. They took a turn towards the stairs, and led her up there, sword drawn, slowly. Amanda's heart pounded, never had she been so afraid. They were making their way towards the sleeping quarters, or so it seemed. Amanda peered around their shoulders, and saw Marc standing in an empty hall, solemn, pale, and solid as ever. They stopped, and Amanda looked up.

"Wait here," was the phrase she was left with, and then they hurried off to Marc. There was a brief exchange of words, and all the while Marc could not take his eyes from Amanda. She returned his gaze, but in a meek and forgiving manner. She held no grudge towards him. He had a daughter to return to, and there was no expectation for him to have turned himself over to Gurshion. Their meeting ended, and they left Marc where they had found him, walking away in another direction. After a few minutes of walking, they froze at the sound of a footstep. Pressing instantly into a nook of the hall, they waited for the light of the torch to pass away. Amanda felt a soft squeeze on her elbow as a signal to go, and they stepped in unison from the nook.

"Going somewhere?" a voice asked, and Amanda covered her mouth in an effort not to scream. The man had waited in the dark for them, and Amanda was pushed back into the nook as they fought. Finally, the sword sliced the guard throat, but this was just the beginning. Amanda's hand was grabbed and they ran down the hall towards their destination. Voices and steps were heard behind them; thankfully they knew the palace well enough to move through the dark. They stopped abruptly, and a door in the floor was opened up. A torch awaited them underneath, and they dropped down into the hole. The latch shut above them, and they moved, safe now. They moved, dousing out the torches as they went and it was a short move to his horse. As he promised, he lifted her in his arms and carried her the last few yards to his horse. Once in his saddle, he swung up behind her and Amanda felt her body giving in. She leaned back against his chest and he wrapped a second cloak around them both. She closed her eyes, and sighed softly before moving the cloak over her bald head.

"Sleep now, darling. I'm here, and you are safe," he whispered to her.

"I knew you'd come Arthur."


	33. Let It Into Your Heart

Chapter 33: Let It into Your Heart

Note: I will finish this story. Don't fret.

Disclaimer: Same as always.

* * *

By the time they got back to the settlement, Amanda had been slipping in and out of sleep. She was barely aware of her surroundings when they arrived, the sun peeking up over the hills of the moors. He handed her down to Bors, who took her in the gentlest of manners. Vanora wrapped the cloak around Amanda tighter, and followed her lover into Arthur's shelter. Arthur swung down from his horse, handing the reins to Jols, and followed Bors quietly. Young Sarah moved away from the company silently, her eyes down cast.

"How long has she been sleeping?" Vanora asked upon Arthur's entrance.

"I'm not sure. She didn't stay awake too long after I got her on the horse," he answered, lifting her from his bed and setting her in his lap, grabbing the fur blankets and wrapping them around her legs, his other hand cupped her shaved head.

"What the hell did he do to her?" Bors growled. Arthur's eyes ran over her pale and worn face.

"It's like she's got no spirit left in her," Vanora muttered, sighing in sadness. Arthur shook his head, enclosing her in his arms, pulling her close to his chest to keep her warm. Bors tugged softly on Vanora's fingers, as if to pull her away from the scene. The couple left, hand in hand, the despair they felt from Arthur reminding each other of their good fortune. Arthur let his fingers stroke over Amanda's skin, as if trying to coax her from her sleep. He wanted so badly to hear her voice - to look into her eyes. He wanted to know she was all right. He felt her tattered clothes beneath the fur, and saw the dirt smeared across her face. His lips trembled over her frame, kissing over her eyes and her cheeks, arms locked around her waist and shoulders, as if trying to pass his life to her.

"Come back to me, Amanda," he whispered. He pressed his warm cheek against her cool one, rocking slowly back and forth. A soft clearing of the throat interrupted him. Arthur looked over his shoulder, seeing Gawain there.

"You went for her?" Gawain asked. Arthur sighed softly.

"I look for no arguments, Gawain," Arthur said.

"Nor I. I asked but a simple question." Gawain returned.

"Yes, I went for her. And now she is back and safe with us," Arthur explained, shifting Amanda in his lap. Their voices were soft.

"I'm glad you did. But, my friend, I worry about you," Gawain admitted. Arthur looked at him, confused. His brows knitted together, green eyes tired but focused. Gawain moved to the bed where Amanda and Arthur were, and sat on the other side, confronting his long time companion.

"For many years you and Amanda have had a strong love for each other. But, nothing has come of it except tears, anger, worry, and anguish. What kind of love is this?" Gawain asked, running his fingers through his hair. Arthur looked at Gawain, contemplating what he said. It was true, for many years Arthur had longed to hold Amanda close to him, and to marry her, and spend the rest of his days with her. However, there was always some presiding or dividing matter that detained them from being together. And, it was true in that Amanda and Arthur had spent much more time unhappy than they had spent together happy. One of them was always angry, and the other always apologizing. Arthur turned his gaze away from Gawain to look down at Amanda.

"The two of you spend so much of your time being angry, that the love you have suffers. You cannot keep chasing her then pushing her. You both do it so that the other is so fragile," Gawain paused, shrugging, "I know not what else to tell you." Arthur ran his hand over the side of Amanda's body, feeling her weak frame. His memory flashed back to the first time Amanda left him. Arthur smiled softly at the memory, at its irony, his eyes closing, head tilting back.

"Gawain, do you remember what you felt like when you loved?" Arthur asked. Gawain sighed softly.

"Arthur, this has not to do with my feelings," he answered.

"But it does, Gawain. There are many reasons why I should eradicate Amanda from my life. Just completely do away with her because of all the pain she and I have caused each other. But, I can't Gawain. I look at her and I see all the possibilities in the world that I can grasp. I feel like I can do anything. Hearing her voice and seeing her face fills me with such hope. I have never longed for someone so. And it's more than just to have her, it's to keep her and protect her from all unkindness in the world. I cannot let go of a part of me."

* * *

Amanda blinked several times, her hands feeling the finer touch of the fur blankets. There was a smell of burning wood, and the cracking splinters of the fire echoed in her ears. She sat up, toes wiggling back and forth. Looking around the place, Amanda searched for her savior. Arthur sat at the opposite of the room, his head in his hand, sleeping softly. Amanda rose from the makeshift bed instinctively, walking over to the sleeping Arthur. She walked quietly, and slowly, looking at his hunched form. Once again, he had saved her life, and she had done nothing to repay him. Amanda reached him, running her fingers over the side of his face, and to his hair. She smiled, her insane want to have touched his face and his hair finally being appeased. She looked at him affectionately, happy despite her previous misfortunes. Arthur awoke slowly, looking up at her, wondering where the touch was coming from.

"Thank you," Amanda murmured. She met his eyes and locked on them, his face was placid as he looked up at her, the corners of his lips curling upwards into a soft smile.

"I'm so sorry that I left you there for so long," he answered. Amanda pressed her finger to his lips.

"Don't say such things Arthur," Amanda said, lowering her hand down to his shoulder. He sat up some, resting his hands on his outer thighs. Amanda looked down, suddenly ashamed of her appearance and wrong doings.

"You must forgive me Arthur. If I had heeded to your orders, I wouldn't have been able to cause this," she said. Her voice was soft, as always, vulnerable when she apologized.

"Please don't start," Arthur said, his fingertips pressing into her skin some. Amanda looked at him and her scowl turned to a smile. He lifted her into his arms, walking back to the bed. He placed her down slowly, careful not to let her feel any of his weight.

"Arthur," Amanda whispered, running her fingers through his hair, unsure of what to do. Her hands burned for him, but her stomach was undulating over and over again. Her blue eyes searched over his face, trying to read it.

"Amanda, please, don't fear me," he said, softly. His voice was so weak. Amanda sighed softly, hand dropping down to touch his cheek.

"You know I never could," Amanda answered, and Arthur sat next to her. The bed wobbled slightly, and the furs wrinkled under him. His eyes burrowed into her, as if he could see into her mind.

"What are you afraid of, then?" he asked. Amanda laughed softly.

"How many times have you asked me that question?" she asked back, turning on her side to face him. The movement made her wince, her side tender from sleeping on the stone floor those many nights. She groaned at the pain, flattening again on her back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, voice concerned.

"I'm just sore, that's all," she answered, opening her eyes again. She looked at him. He had moved, leaning over her a little. His eyes showed the concern that was in his voice. Amanda laughed softly.

"I'm the same person as I was before the battle, Arthur. I'm not going to break if I take a breath," Amanda said, looking at him.

"Turn over," he said. Amanda raised her eyebrow.

"What?"

"Lay on your stomach," he clarified, his voice still soft, but firmer now. Amanda did as she was told and slowly moved on to her stomach. She tried to hide her wince, but was rather unsuccessful. Arthur sighed softly, and ran his hands over her back affectionately, tenderly. Amanda was a little surprised.

"What did he do to you?" Arthur asked, before Amanda could dwell on her surprise.

"Who?" Amanda asked, eyebrows knitted together. Arthur took her arms and lay them straight, away from her body. Amanda gasped softly as the muscles in her sides screamed in protest. She felt the weight of the bed move as Arthur came closer to her, and his fingertips touched her again.

"Gurshion, what did he do to you?" Arthur clarified. Amanda could feel her face burning red. She turned around to protest, but Arthur rubbing her back was the best relief she had known in months. She didn't have it in her to argue, so she just lay there, trying to focus on the conversation.

Arthur, however, wasn't fazed. He worked his fingertip against Amanda's bony back, sighing at the diminished muscle and fullness that was once there. He could feel her spine and ribs, and his large hands seemed to devour what used to be pale satin. He patiently waited for Amanda to answer his question, and studied the back of her barely-covered head. His heart ached for her, because he knew her heart wouldn't.

"Arthur, we need to go back and save your men. The things Gurshion subjects them to are terrible. He's tearing down and rebuilding the whole wall. They're barely fed, and all those things you taught them about equality and freedom have been ripped right from them," Amanda implored. She wasn't sure if it was the right time to discuss it, but it needed to be said.

"I know some of that already. We'll have to decide the best plan of action first. At the moment though, I am concerned with your back. Jols!" he called, sensing Amanda's discomfort. He withdrew his fingers, and stood up. "Send for the caretaker." Jols left as quickly as he had come.

"Are we going to take back what is ours?" Amanda asked, hopeful. The corners of Arthur's eyes darkened, and he contemplated his answer.

"Our soldiers are inside there. It will take many days before we have the strength to go back," he answered, revealing nothing. Amanda opened her mouth, but Arthur beat her to it, "And that's all on the subject I'm going to say for now. So, eat this and brood quietly." At that moment, a young woman walked into the tent, carrying two plates and a pitcher in her gracefully pale arms. She was not stunningly beautiful, but she was not homely. She smiled faintly, as do many women when they're hiding their upset emotions. Amanda studied her quietly, as they waited for the Caretaker to arrive.

"Your Majesty," the girl murmured, and curtsied out of the place.

"Who was that?" Amanda asked, staring inquisitively at Arthur. He readied some plate, and answered shortly:

"Sarah." Amanda nodded, and looked up, seeing the young face staring longingly at Arthur. In a moment she met Amanda's gaze, and jumped away. The doorway soon filled with the Caretaker, who caught his words when he saw Amanda.

"Lady Amanda," he murmured. His eyes darted between her and Arthur. Arthur smirked softly, and pulled the man over towards the bed.

"There's something wrong with her back. You can feel it through her tunic," the Caretaker set down his tools, and put his hands to her back. "Amanda," Arthur continued, "did Gurshion whip you?"

_That was the least of my worries._ Amanda thought to herself. "Yes, he did."

"You're going to have to excuse us my Lord," the Caretaker said. Arthur nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. Amanda looked up at him, conveying some worry about what was about to happen.

"You'll be fine," Arthur said softly, and with that he left.

"I'm going to need you to remove your tunic milady. I need to see your skin." Amanda nodded and obeyed. When it was off and she was back on her stomach, the Caretaker took his time examining her body. He checked the strength of her spine and the condition of her ribs. He prodded and rubbed her sides, shoulders, and joints to see for any misshaping or tenderness. However, Amanda could feel that he avoided touching the majority of her center back. The Caretaker called Arthur back, as well as some assistant that Amanda had not heard. He called for water, alcohol, and some mix of weeds and flowers. Her grey blue eyes caught the silhouette of Arthur when he entered, and she heard a soft gasp.

"What is causing this reaction?" Arthur asked.

"Her wounds were open for too long. They're infected from the dirt of the floor she slept on and the clothes she wore. You the dried blood on her tunic. The horse ride from the Wall to here re-opened some of the lashes, and they need to be cleaned. Only then can I truly assess the infection to treat it. You may want to call for Merlin, for he has a better knowledge of these herbs and flowers."

"Lady Amanda!" She heard someone cry. Amanda looked around in the range she could, and for a moment she saw no source for the voice. Then, Anys was at her side.

"Oh, Anys! My darling friend!" Amanda cried in return upon seeing her soft face. The water Anys carried dribbled onto Amanda's neck when Anys leaned forward to press her forehead to her.

"I was so worried you were lost for an eternity," Anys confessed, "But I was so silly to worry. Of course you, of all women, would find your way back to us!" The smile faded from Anys' face when she peered at Amanda's back. She handed the Caretaker the provisions he had asked for before returning to face Amanda.

"Am I much worse off than I think?" Amanda asked. Anys frowned slightly.

"Your skin will heal, and should Merlin know what to do about the infection, you'll be fine. Your skin will always bear these scars though, milady," the Caretaker answered. Amanda sighed some.

"Good then. My outside shall match my inside. Scarred and marked, but altogether whole."

* * *

After Amanda was well fed, and bandaged together in some serum and cloth, she managed to get herself out of the tent and about with the people. Ambrose and Caia accompanied her from the edge of the tent all about the camp. Her body met her with some resistance - it wanted nothing to do with movement. She wanted nothing to do with being still. The wind licked at her face and neck, her eyes squinting to shield them from its force. It whipped through the moor, the noise ascending and descending like crickets in heat.

"You must tell me everything that I have missed," Amanda said to Nicolarious and Caia when they sat at the stout bench and table for dinner. Ambrose and Caia exchanged anxious looks, and shifted uncomfortably.

"Sister," Nicolarious said calmly, "get well first. And then we shall tell you what you have not seen. And in exchange, you shall tell us of your journey. For now, however, you must eat and enjoy your company. When was the last time you had Vanora's soup?"

Amanda smiled at her ever growing brother, and she nodded in agreement. The group laughed and talked and filled in the tiny holes of the others souls with a bright and radiant light. Arthur soon joined them, his face and shoulder much lighter than Amanda had seen in many moons. Galahad followed him, his brown eyes searching only for his long lost friend.

"Amanda! You beloved rascal! How is it that you always manage to find your way back to us?" He cried.

"That's because someone, who doesn't go by the name of Galahad, always comes to rescue me," Amanda teased. Galahad laughed loudly, and showered Amanda's head with kisses.

"That is not true my friend," he said, "I was there the first time!" Amanda blushed.

"Of course, forgive me. I had forgotten that this was not my first time in complete and utter distress," Amanda sighed. The table laughed, and Arthur found his way beside her.

"Arthur, my dear friend," Amanda began, "You look much happier than I have seen you in some time." Arthur smiled at her, his green eyes twinkling.

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked. "Camelot's jewel is back amongst her people, and there are no enemies banging at our door of yet. Tonight, all is well." Amanda laughed softly.

_Camelot's jewel my arse._

Arthur stared at Amanda. He watched the lights flicker from the curves of her face to her water blue eyes, and her smiles expand with each passing story. He listened to the tones of her voice, and suddenly, he remembered. He pulled on his curls, and smirked to himself, only imagining what she was to do to him.

"What are you smirking about, Arthur? What is it that you have thought of?" Gawain asked, sipping water from his flask.

"Amanda," Arthur said, leaning closer to her when she turned. "We have not been blessed with hearing you sing in quite some time." It was hardly a second before Amanda's face dropped some and her skin when ghastly white.

"Of course you haven't," she stammered. "Because I don't like to sing." Arthur laughed heartily.

"Oh," he cried, drawing attention, "that is not true my dear! You sing whenever you are happy!" Amanda blushed, as if some secret was revealed.

"He's right about that," chimed in Nicolarious, "you do sing when you are happy."

"You don't know that!" Amanda said, shocked, "I never sing in front of anyone, so you can't possibly know that! Regardless of my being happy or sad!"

"The King has ears all about his palace," Arthur said, tugging softly on her earlobe. His fingers lingered, touching the softness of her neck and ear. He could feel the heat radiate from her skin, and he couldn't help but smile in her fury.

"Arthur, why don't you sing to us," Caia said, sensing Amanda's coldness to the idea. Amanda grinned.

"Sounds like an excellent idea to me," Amanda said, eyes still locked on Arthur. Arthur's hand had still not left her, and he smiled, though distracted.

"I'll sing; with my fellow Knights. We know many a song of battle and cheer," Arthur said. He never could resist a challenge. "Gentlemen, what shall we belt this evening?" Bors stood up, and raised his glass to the sky.

"In memory of Tristan," he said, "the man who never sang, but always loved this song:

_There's a land a far full of wind and sand_

_There's a land a far meant for me –_

_Where the sun shines fore're o're th' land_

_With ale there waits a she…_

The rest of the Knights rose in voices, their cups swinging back in forth in gusto. All the people surrounded them laughed and some sang along with them when they knew the words. Amanda and Caia laughed at their friends, and their lovers, as the ale the Woads drank flowed from the barrels. Soon, Gawain pulled Amanda away, his hands tenderly grabbing her fingers, and his eyes sparkling. He dragged her from the licks of the firelight, and slowed his pace as they fell into conversation.

"Amanda, I have wrestled with something for quite some time," Gawain said, softy. Amanda turned to him, slowly, wondering what he could mean. He stopped, and faced her, his eyes searching wildly within her for some reassurance.

"Whatever it is Gawain, you can tell me. You, above all people, I hold most sacred," Amanda said calmly, sensing some stress in her dear friend.

"Therein lies the problem. Amanda, you I place above the mark of sacred. I have seen you day after day, listened to all your fears and dreams, and have watched you grow within yourself. You are truly remarkable. I've seen you in love, and seen you in hate, and yet I still hold you above the rest," he said. He looked confused, but his eyes pleaded with Amanda to understand.

"Have I done something wrong Gawain?" Amanda asked quietly. Gawain laughed, and looked down at her hands. He took a step closer, his blonde hair falling forward as he thought about his next words.

"No, you have done me no wrong. I have seen you pine for Arthur in a way I understand and don't understand. I know that you love him, and long to be his," Gawain said, his voice now soft, and almost broken. Amanda reached forward, and pulled his face up. His eyes closed at her touch, and he leaned into her hand.

"I know that I cannot hide it from you," Amanda said, smiling. "You know me better than I know myself often enough." She laughed softly, but noticed he was not laughing. He opened his brilliant blue eyes, and his hands moved from her arms to her waist.

"Do you not understand what I am trying to say?" He asked, in a manner that he would only reveal to Amanda. Amanda swallowed, and did not want to think about what he was trying to say.

"For many days now, I have loved you."


	34. Twilight, Stars and Moonbeams

Chapter 34: Twilight, Stars and Moonbeams

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original characters from the motion picture, nor did I make up the legend of King Arthur and his knights, or write any of the several books on them. I do, however, take rights to the characters I made (Amanda, Nicolarious, Caia, Ambrose, Anys, Sarah, etc.) And I am the only one to use them unless otherwise authorized by me. Even though no one ever asks to use them so I guess I'm in the clear.

* * *

Amanda stared at Gawain.

He stared at her, anticipating her answer, swallowing whatever emotion he may want to show or to hide.

_He loves me?_

Gawains fingers seemed to grip a little tighter to Amanda's waist as the moments of her silence passed. Amanda couldn't seem to open her mouth and answer.

Or say anything at all.

If only the thousands of things screaming in her head could have flowed from her mouth.

_What does he mean he loves me? Gawain isn't supposed to love me! I love Arthur, and Gawain knows that. Why would he tell me this now? Does he expect me to choose him? I can't betray my heart. What will become of our friendship? _

Finally, Amanda opened her mouth.

"Gawain," she said softly, her head bent in thought and eyes looking from place to place in search of feasible words. She looked up at him again, his eyes pleading, wanting her to love him back so badly. "You must know that a portion of my heart and soul belongs to you. I love you very much, and I always will."

Gawains face shifted, and his hands moved off her body. They seemed to fall in defeat, but instead he grabbed her hands, and lifted them to his chest.

"But you do not love me in the way I love you," he said in some sadness. Amanda broke one hand free, and touched Gawains face.

"Gawain, I will always love you. You said yourself that you know I love Arthur. Yes, I openly admit it-"she began, but Gawain cut her off, his hand raising up and his eyes wincing in something like pain.

"I know, I understand that. I suppose what I really want to say is that I will wait for you. I will wait until the end of my days for you. There is nothing I will not do," he said earnestly, his fingers wrapping around Amanda's hand. Amanda looked at him in some confusion and some concern.

"Gawain, I want you to be happy. I want you to find love like all the others. I want you to have a family – to see you be a father. I won't ever be out of your life darling, but I refuse to be the reason for your being alone," she said, rather sternly. He sighed softly, and his brown eyes flashed at her.

"And if I can find no one that makes me as happy as you?" Amanda was startled by his response.

_How did I not see this? Am I really blinded? _

"If I can make you happy standing here then you do not need me to be your lover. You just need me to keep being your dearest friend." Amanda said, eyes trying to read into his emotions. She could see his face fall once more, and his grip on her fingers tighten. He lifted his hand to meet the hand at the side of his face, and his breathing grew strained. His eyes would not meet hers, and Amanda suddenly felt empathy for him.

"And if I don't find anyone who will love me?" his voice waivered and cracked like he was going to cry. He looked up and Amanda saw the heart-breaking tears in his eyes. In an instant Amanda was about to cry as well, and she leaned forward to kiss his forehead.

"Oh Gawain," she said her skin touched his wet cheeks and her lips pressed again the corners of his eyes. She felt his arms go around her, and his kisses travel from her cheekbone to her jaw. Her hands slide down to his neck and shoulders, holding him closer. His touch was gentle, but he was pulling her in. He kissed near her ear, and she buried her hand into his hair. Her other hand gripped his shoulder and Gawain was making a path of soft and gentle kisses to her mouth. Their eyes closed, and Amanda molded herself to his form and whims.

"Amanda!" someone called. "Amanda Marslyn where have you gone?" they asked again. Laughter followed at the words. Both she and Gawain pulled away from each other, hands awkwardly meeting and eyes frantically searching the others face. Gawains brow was furrowed, and Amanda seemed to be holding her breath as they both tried to process what had just happened. Amanda opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by her approaching search party.

A drunken Galahad was the first to spot them.

"Here they are!" He cried, stumbling forward to them, and flinging his arms around the two of them. "Where the devil have you two been? We've been singing and laughing all night without you!" He turned them around and started to lead them back towards the fire. You could smell the wood smoke and the ale on him.

_What have I done?_ Amanda thought in slight panic. _What was that? Do I want to be with Gawain? _

"You know, there is something that I have been meaning to tell the both of you," Galahad continued, an attempt to be serious in his drunken stupor, "and now that Amanda is back from that damned bastard Gurshion, I can tell you. I really, honestly, and whole heartedly love you. Gawain, you're like a brother to me," he said, abruptly stopping. He stood up as straight as he could, and faced Amanda. He pointed his finger into her chest, thinking that she was Gawain, "Now, I know what you're going to say Gawain. You're going to try to tell me that 'all knights are supposed to be like brothers,' but I really mean you're my brother. I've learned so much from you. I love you 'til the end of my moments." He spun around clumsily to face Gawain, believing that he was Amanda. "And you, my darling," he said, touching Gawain's face tenderly, "are like the star I always wished on when I was a young lad. I wanted so badly for things to be better, to have my way, and when you came into our lives all of my desires were suddenly alive and in front of me. You helped me realize all of this, and I love you so much for that." He waivered in balance, and felt Gawain's face again, "Amanda, when did you grow a beard?"

Amanda laughed softly, and saw Gawain smile gently at his old friend. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Arthur accompanying a rather drunk Bors, heading in their direction. Galahad turned and looked at Bors, obviously confused.

"Oi, Bors! Our little Amanda over here has a beard! Clear as day! Come feel it!"

"What are you talking about you fool? Amanda can't grow a beard!" Bors answered, stepping away from Arthur's arm. Galahad then turned and faced Bors, hand leaving Gawain's face.

"I swear on your mum's baby toes that Amanda has grown a beard! I was standing right here, telling Amanda and Gawain how much I love them for being in my life, and discovered that Amanda has a beard! Arthur!" he yelled, looking for aide in the argument, "You'll feel it, won't you? You have to believe me! Amanda has bloody hairs growing on her face!"

Bors reached them, and pushed up again Galahad. "What the hell are you talking about boy? Amanda hasn't grown a beard."

Galahad pushed his chest back up again Bors, "Oh yes she has." He picked up Bors' hand and slapped it against Gawain's face. "Feel for yourself." Bors felt the beard on Gawains face, and his eyes widened in shock.

"Bloody hell, Amanda! You've got a beard on your face! You poor girl! Don't worry, we'll help you get rid of it. I swear." Bors seemed genuinely upset about the fact that there was a beard on "Amanda's" face. Then, Galahad started slapping Bors' arm in thought.

"What if her body is confused about her bald head and is now growing hair on her face to compensate for it?!" he cried, grabbing Bors by the outer arms, eyes widened in panic.

"Oh my God! You're right, boy! We'll have to go get Merlin!" Bors yelled back in anguish, and the two turned ungracefully to find the cure for Amanda's beard.

However, Amanda and Gawain didn't seem to care about what those two were saying. Their eyes met once more, and Amanda began to bite on her bottom lip. Arthur reached Amanda's side, and gently touched her shoulder.

"I don't know if I've ever seen Galahad so intoxicated before," Arthur commented, smiling and chuckling about the scene that had just unfolded. Amanda laughed awkwardly, and her eyes fell to the ground.

"I'd better go after them," Gawain said, patting Arthur's back. Amanda watched him walk off, almost unaware of Arthur's caresses upon her back.

"Amanda," he said. And Amanda snapped her attention to him.

"What?" she asked, trying to focus.

"What's the matter?" Arthur asked, his face confused.

"Nothing, what do you mean?" Amanda smiled, rubbing her mouth.

"I asked you how your back is feeling and you didn't answer," Arthur said, cocking his head to the side, and coming around to face her. Amanda looked up at him, seeing his caring green eyes. She smiled gently.

"It's still sore, but I think the serum that Merlin made is working. It feels very numb now, not burning like before," Amanda answered. Arthur smiled, and placed his hand on her head, rubbing jokingly.

"Oh, that is a good sign." Amanda laughed at his head rubbing, and reached up to grab his wrist.

"Don't tease me about my bald head," Amanda said, feigning sadness.

"On the contrary my dear, I think it suits you," he smiled brightly, entwining their arms and leading her back towards the fire.

"Caia and Ambrose talk of marriage before we strategize our re-taking of the wall," Arthur said, smiling for his cousin.

"Their union must please you, especially after so many years of their pining for each other," Amanda commented, looking up at him.

"Of course I am. I have been telling Ambrose to tell her his feelings before someone else comes along and steals her heart," he said, smiling down at Amanda. The fire was in sight, and Amanda's blue eyes sought the couple. They stood behind a group of people, the fire light licking at Caia's features, her mahogany curls illuminated. Ambrose looked at her with such affection; his hands no longer shy while believing they were protected by the cover of darkness. His fingers traced her frame and her skin, bodies close for warmth against the seasons' cold. Amanda smiled in understanding, and some longing for the same affection.

"Isn't that what we're all afraid of though?" Amanda asked. She turned to Arthur, and looked up at him, "Aren't we all afraid to express our love and admiration and adoration to that one person we have allowed to take over our heart because they might love another? Or not share the same feelings?" Arthur smiled sweetly at her, and reached forward to touch her chin.

"Haven't you grown," he said gently. Amanda smiled at him, and laughed.

"You really think that you have seen me change?" Amanda asked, taking a step closer to him.

"I most definitely have," he answered assuredly, laughing a little. Amanda smiled in reaction, and rolled her eyes. She turned back to look at Caia and Ambrose, her arms folding over her chest. Arthur moved behind her, putting a hand on either side of her shoulders.

"They do make a beautiful pair, do they not?" He asked, mouth next to her ear. Amanda's eyes closed in response to the tones of his voice in her ear, but she answered.

"Yes, they do. It will be a wonderful match," she said, voice soft.

"Maybe it is runs in my blood as well," Arthur said, his thumbs stroking Amanda's arms. Amanda furrowed her brow, confused.

"What runs in your blood?" she asked, turning to face him one more time. Their eyes met, and Arthur's intensity practically burned through Amanda's soul.

"Fear," he answered.

"Fear?"

"Fear of not being loved in return. My heart is as fragile as any other. I do not want to confess my unending love for a woman to have her tell me she is in love with another," he explained. Amanda bit her bottom lip.

"Is there one that you love?" Amanda dared to venture.

"Arthur!" cried Galahad. Both Amanda and he turned their attention to the voice. "Amanda has a beard!" Arthur laughed again, and walked over to Galahad to set the story straight.

* * *

The next morning came and went and Amanda didn't have the chance to see it. She slept so soundly it was nearly noon before she awoke to a cold breeze but clear skies. After so ma

ny nights of sleeping but a few hours on stone and dirt, the lavish furs and blankets and soft pad felt like heaven on Earth. When she did wake, there was only one thing on her mind. Who was it that Arthur loved, and how long had she been kept in the dark about it?

Of course, there was a childish hope. A slight twitter in her heart that it might be she that his heart pined for. Thinking it over, she stretched her arms and bit her lip to a smile.

_What if he does choose me? What will become of my world?_

Amanda lay motionless for a while, the smile still plastered on her face. Her blue eyes wandered around, not seeing the cloth of the tent, but instead visions of their children and the happy home they could make together. Caia, unfortunately, interrupted this dream when she walked in and sat on Amanda's bed.

"And what are you smiling about on this chilled day?" she asked, Amanda closing her eyes for a moment to relish in Caia's delicate tones.

"Can I not be happy?" Amanda asked, smiling. Caia smiled back and patted Amanda's hand.

"I hope you are for the rest of your days," Caia answered. "Did you enjoy yourself last night? I saw you with Arthur for some time," she mentioned, and Amanda was suddenly flooded with things she didn't want to think about. It must have shown on her face, because Caia shifted her weight.

"Yes, I did enjoy my time with Arthur," Amanda answered automatically. Caia looked at her and furrowed her brow.

"Amanda," she said, "what did you get yourself into?" Amanda's mouth dropped open.

"Why do you assume that it was me that started something?" she asked, kicking the furs off her body.

"So something did happen?" Caia was quick to respond. Amanda had trapped herself in that, and as she stood up from the bed, she looked at Caia. Her shoulders dropped as she sighed, and she sat back down.

"You have to promise me to not breathe a word of this. It has warped my mind and I know not what to do," she admitted, head bent down, thinking about what had happened with Gawain. She felt Caia's warm fingers wrap around her hand, gripping firmly.

"I'm surprised you wouldn't even suspect me of that," Caia said, her voice soft and loving. Amanda looked at her, and folded one of her legs up. She rested her and Caia's hands on her knee, and licked her lips before answering.

"Gawain told me that he loved me last night," Amanda murmured, blue eyes peering over at Caia. Caia's brow furrowed, and she looked rather taken aback.

"He confessed that to you?" she asked, to assure herself.

"Yes," Amanda replied, "but that's not all that happened. I tried to tell him that I don't love him like that, and then he started to ask what he was to do if no one ever loved him, and he was so weak and vulnerable and I could see the tears welling and the sadness in his voice. And, oh, I kissed his forehead, and then everything changed and he was kissing my cheek and neck and came so close to kissing me upon the lips, but Galahad interrupted us!" Amanda sputtered out, her voice raised in the excitement of the re-telling and her heart beating in her ears as she nervously watched the expression on Caia's face.

"You and Gawain? Sharing such intimacies? But I thought you loved Arthur!" Caia responded. Amanda leaned forward and put a finger to Caia's lips. Her voice was so loud in shock and awe that Amanda worried someone else would hear. She jumped up and began dressing so she and Caia could leave the tent and talk in more private areas. How she longed for the deserted halls and corridors of the palace!

"Yes," Amanda said back in a heated whisper, "we kissed! But I don't know why! I mean, I suppose if he loves me he would want to kiss me, but why would I respond in such a way?" A dress fell down over her body and she reached for her boots. Caia rose and grabbed Amanda's cloak.

"What do you mean 'respond'? Did you encourage him?" Caia asked, her voice straining to be quiet. Amanda snatched the cloak and then Caia's hand. Flinging the cloth around, her shoulders and back screamed in protest. Walking out beyond the people and towards the twin streams, the faces lessened.

"I fear, my friend, that I enjoyed it. Oh, Caia, what am I to do?! I love Arthur, but is my body trying to tell me different? If I love Arthur so deeply, would my body not push away Gawain?" Amanda demanded, pressing her hands over her scalp in confusion and stress. Caia shook her head.

"I know not what to say? It is a rather confusing matter. Of course, you have loved Arthur for some time. Maybe your response to Gawain is because you have been away from the comfortable and familiar for so long. No one in the palace was there to comfort you and give you the affection you have been longing for," Caia explained. Amanda listened intently, pacing back and forth along the streams edge. Distant cloud heads threatened the crystal sky. They were black as night, and seemed all the more fierce at their current distance. Amanda wrapped her arms around her body, and waited before answering Caia.

"My body never pushed away Edem either," she muttered, mourning his loss. She felt Caia's hand at her back.

"Edem was quite a different story my darling. You were intent on marrying him, and he was taken away so abruptly," she said, her voice trailing off quietly. Amanda turned herself around sharply.

"And I still treated him poorly. I was so madly in love with Arthur that I couldn't get out of my way until it was too late. What am I doing Caia? What am I allowing my heart to do? Am I really meant to be with Arthur? All we ever do is fight and cause one another pain! No love should be based off of that. Gawain may be the best thing to happen to me. What if Arthur doesn't love me back? What if he dies in the next battle?! Then what am I to do? I've spent so many years admiring and wanting a man that has either pushed me away or been with another woman!" Tears were falling from her face, and her voice no longer cared about being soft. Her breathing was ragged and uneven, and all of the emotions she had been holding up inside of her body were being unleashed in this one moment. What was she doing? Was being with Arthur the right course to pursue? Why did she want to be his whole world so badly? Why had she let him become hers?

"Amanda," Caia said, trying to calm her, "Amanda…these are all questions not worth being angry over. Yes, you and Arthur have spent many a day cross, furious, and hurt with each other. I agree that your treatment of each other has, at times, been rather abominable. But, there has also been a bond of love forging between you that most people will never experience. Think of all that you two have conquered together -"

"Together?" Amanda interrupted, "I have conquered over Arthur and his silly tangents, and he over my own foolish disagreements. What have we truly conquered together?" Caia smiled softly at her friend.

"This is not a discussion you should have with me then, my dear. There are only two people you should really confront. And before you speak to them, you'll need to consult your conscious," Caia said, rubbing Amanda's shoulder reassuringly. Amanda sighed, and rubbed her eyes.

_What have I done?_

Of course, never being far from Amanda's aching soul, along came Nicolarious. He had spotted the two friends, and seen their obvious displays of some disagreement, so he ventured out to his long awaited sister to inquire what the fuss was about. Amanda looked troubled, and frustrated. Nicolarious shook his head, seeing his sister under such strain and stress made him worry. She had already been through so much, she just needed to rest and recuperate. If only he could come up with some rationale that she would see as a good reason to actually lie down. He smirked to himself a little – of course he knew that Amanda wouldn't ever be the kind to rest. He sighed as he walked closer to the emotional girls. He remembered what his mother had told him, in a time that seemed so very far away. She had stroked back his hair, and smiled: "You'll have to look after your sister Nicolarious. She is the type blessed with so much energy and will to do that she will wear herself down. Like a stone in the river that is all smooth. Those stones weren't always smooth, my little Nicolarious, they were once rough and large." At the time, Nicolarious couldn't understand what stones and rocks had to do with his sister, but now he could. Every day that she continued like this was slowing wearing her down to a tiny and weak pebble.

Caia was visibly trying to comfort his sister, and Amanda was nodding her head. He was close enough to see that something had worked her to tears. Since what instance had Amanda stopped turning to him for advice? He ran his fingers through his flimsy blonde hair, and prepared to confront the two. Caia saw him first, and smiled her warm smile. Nicolarious blushed, and smiled back, his stomach doing flips. His admiration for Caia had grown rapidly since he first met her. Amanda turned to look at the visitor, and she smiled while hurrying to wipe away her emotions. Nicolarious focused on his sister, and simply opened his arms to hug her.

Amanda let herself be enveloped by her brother, and her tears started over again. Nicolarious must have nodded Caia off, because she walked away with a pat on Amanda's shoulder. She didn't know how long Nicolarious stood with her, but he never wavered in holding her. He didn't speak, he just let herself calm herself down again, and let her release the things she had been fighting to keep inside. Eventually, Amanda pulled away, and Nicolarious led her to a nearby rock. They took a seat, and he looked at his sister.

"Amanda, what happened?" he asked. Amanda looked at him, and she explained what happened. She explained the entire night, what Gawain said, what she had said, and what she felt that moment. Nicolarious nodded in understanding, and waited for the end. Amanda stopped with her worries, and listened to the sounds of the twin streams. She knew that a few miles down, these two streams met and they eventually formed a river that carried south towards the Wall.

"You are right to question these things. However, there is nothing I can tell you that you don't already know, or aren't already questioning. If you love Arthur, then you need to tell him. There is so much I feel that you have missed because you held back. If anything, these past months of loss and being held at the Wall should teach you not to refrain from anything," he reaches forward and held her hand. Amanda looked at him, and nodded.

"And if Arthur doesn't love me?" Amanda asked. Nicolarious smiled.

"Then it wasn't meant to be sister. If he doesn't, Gawain does. This much is evident," he said. Amanda couldn't help but smile. She squeezed and he continued, "There is someone who has been asking after you for quite some time now. And, to be honest, Anys and I had forgotten about her until this morning. Now that you're awake and have rejoined us, you can come to see her."

"Who is it?" Amanda asked, trying to think of the people that she had seen. As far as she could remember, she had them all accounted for, Nicolarious stood and leaped off the rock, his youthful form bounding with energy.

"Come sister, and we shall see who desires your company," he said. He outstretched his hand and waited as Amanda rose and stepped down from their perch. Their hands joined and Nicolarious walked with her towards te tents and makeshift homes. Amanda admired the people of Camelot at this point. She admired their endless determination to adjust and thrive. They embodied their king, as Amanda would like to think. She put her hand on her head as they walked, slowly rubbing the tiny hairs back and forth.

"Do you miss your long curls?" Nicolarious asked. Amanda smiled, and shrugged.

"Yes, I suppose. I think without them people forget that I am but a woman. Which worked to my advantage under Gurshion, but here people treat me as some leper. 'Poor Lady Amanda, her beauty stolen from her by that evil traitor!'" Amanda shook her head in some disgust. "They don't know m at all."

"I am sorry you feel that way. But these people do not know you. All they can see is how Arthur responds to you. They can only see what you show, Amanda, and to be honest you barely show anything that is not your outer experience." Amanda considered what her brother was saying, and nodded. Amanda valued her privacy and her guarded nature. She barely let those close to her see what she was truly feeling. Let alone the people of Camelot. Her brother led her to a tent where there were at least two dozen children running around it. They were laughing and yelling and prancing about with the energy she had seen in Nicolarious. The energy that Amanda had known for a very long time. She smiled brightly as she watched them play, her heart was joyful at seeing the innocence in them. Nicolarious let her look on, but soon enough there was a small tug at her waist, and Amanda looked down to see the tiny face she had not seen for some months. She gasped softly, and many emotions came over her.

"Amanda," said the tiny voice.

"Colette," Amanda said, reaching down and lifting the girl to her hip. The tiny arms went around Amanda's neck, and the child started to cry. Amanda could feel her own tears coming down her face, but she instinctively rubbed Colettes back and cooed.

"There there darling, it'll be all right," she said softly, her fingers stroking the waves on her head.

"Have you seen father?" Colette asked. Amanda's chest tightened as she thought of Marc.

"Yes," she cracked out, her voice fighting to remain steady for the small girl, "I have seen your father. And he is being very strong and being very good. He misses you very much, but promised me he would be here soon to take care of you." After some moments of crying, Colette leaned back, staring into Amanda's eyes.

"To take care of me and you?" Colette asked. Amanda smiled.

"To take care of all of Camelot."

* * *

Gurshion stood in the center of the palace keep. He stared at the door that almost the entire population of Camelot had escaped through. He had countless men try and open the door, but after hours of studying it, they came to the conclusion that a piece was missing.

The news of Amanda having escaped was not received well by Gurshion. Men had suffered in result, especially the ones he knew Amanda identified with. He was so looking forward to having her killed.

As he stood in the center of the keep, he digested all of the features of the room. He vaguely remembered it being built, along with the net work of tunnels. At the time, he and Arthur and Kylian had been proud of the creation. Camelot was advancing far beyond what they had expected it to. Now, he returned his visions to the door that his victory slipped through. He could conclude that Amanda and her savior had not passed through this door. They must have travelled a different route. The area that the guard was killed in correlation to the area that the guards chasing them had seen them last left few possibilities.

If it had been Arthur who rescued her, then the guards didn't stand a chance in finding them after they weaseled their way out. Arthur knew the grounds and structure of the palace better than the men who helped him design it. Arthur had seen to it that he watched all of them grow. He had decided in the end results of where they would lead. Gurshion walked forward, and places a hand on either side of the door, so his body was close to it and his head bent forward to look at the floor.

_Where did this place lead?_ He asked himself over and over again. Why couldn't he remember where this tunnel went? It had to be long and somewhere safe. Somewhere Arthur could trust. He knew this tunnel wasn't connected to any of the other ones. Once they were in this tunnel, they could only move forward, in one singular direction. Gurshion tried to decipher which direction he was facing, but the darkness and the enclosed area gave him no clues. He felt his temper slipping from his control. Anger welled up inside of his chest and his mouth turned down into an unreadable and bestial sneer.

He screamed at the top of his lungs.

* * *

Arthur watched Amanda as she talked and played with Colette. He could see her energy fading fast, and he knew it was time to tell her to rest. As he approached, he studied Amanda. There was something different. While she was happy to see Colette, and cared for the darling girl, Amanda still seemed to wander in a daze. It felt as if she saw nothing as consequential, nothing essential or important to her. What had caused this?

"Arthur, have you met the littlest flower?" Amanda asked, looking at him briefly before looking down to see Colette laugh and object.

"I not flower, you flower!" Colette giggled, pointing her tiny finger at Amanda. Amanda laughed and shook her head.

"I am not a flower, you're a flower!" The girls laughed together, and Arthur sat next to her. He looked over at Nicolarious, and gestured to Colette. Nicolarious understood. Amanda touched her brow in fatigue, and she looked at Arthur. Nicolarious led Colette away to a patch of grass where they continued to play, Colette having no objections to doing so.

Arthur touched Amanda's back gently, looking at her.

"How do you feel today?" he asked, genuinely. Amanda slightly smiled and rested her head upon her hand.

"I feel better," she said, and her eyes wandered to the child. "May I be honest with you Arthur?"

"I hope so," he said, his hand stroking Amanda's back, his other hand reaching forward and touching her knee. Amanda looked at him, her eyes showing a weakness Arthur had never seen.

"I believe something has happened to me," Amanda admitted, quietly. "Aside from the turmoil I feel about recent events, I feel as if Gurshion may have broken me." Arthur nodded in understanding, and struggled to hide his surprise over her accepting and confiding this in him.

"To be honest with you, Amanda, I saw the same thing in you. I cannot tell if it is because you are tired, and were subjected to things that no human should be subjected to, or if it was because of something else. When did you first start to feel this way?" he asked. Amanda looked down at her knees. She didn't really feel any emotion as she thought of the things that happened while in Camelot under Gurshion. She strained to remember what her last days were like.

"Gurshion found me guilty of high treason, and planned to execute me before you came. The cell you found me in I had been in for some time, though I'm not sure how long. In those hours that passed, I thought of many things in my life. I thought of all the people I love and care for, the people that have gone from us and the people that have entered newly into my life. When I was facing death, I had accepted that I was going to die. I don't fear dying, but I suddenly ceased caring. I no longer cared what happened to my life, whether I lived or died. Why did that happen?" she asked. Her voice was concerned now, but not in an emotional way. Arthur did not fear her breaking down into tears, but he stared at her confoundedly.

"You no longer cared for your life?" he asked, trying to make sense of it all. Amanda paused and thought, and finally shook her head. She looked to him, her blue eyes wondering and wanting to know. Arthur moved his shoulders back a little, and his brow furrowed, his eyes staring at the ground in an attempt to answer.

"I do not know why you stopped caring about your life, Amanda. Gurshion may have led you to believe that what you have to offer this world was never going to be shown, and that your life was insignificant. Or, even more concerting, you convinced yourself of that," he reached up and touched her face. She stared at him as he answered her, and she was trying to absorb what he was saying. "Do you still feel like this?"

"I'm not sure how I feel. At this present moment, I am very confused," she replied, being honest. She looked away again, thinking of Arthur and Gawain and of all the things that had unfolded. Suddenly, an idea came to her, and she looked at Arthur again. "Arthur, when you spoke to Marc the night we left, what did you speak of?"

"I told him swiftly that I was coming back for the men, and to hold on. Marc didn't say much, just that he understood. I believe he was more concerned with your well being at that point," Arthur answered. Amanda smiled softly, thinking of the man that she had planned to turn Camelot over with. Her eyes ventured over to Arthur once more, her interest peaked and almost eager to share something with him.

"May I express an idea to you?" Amanda asked. Arthur looked at her, and a single eyebrow raised.

"Of course you can, you needn't ask my permission," he permitted, wary of where she was leading him. Amanda turned her body to face him, and she put her hand down on top of Arthurs.

"Arthur, I believe I know how to get back into Camelot," she said. Arthur took in a breath and was prepared to counter, but Amanda spoke again, "I am not trying to go against you Arthur, I am simply expressing my ideas. A good deal of your army is inside of those walls, no?"

"Yes, they are," Arthur answered, nodding his head.

"So, once they see their leader again, they can be assured that someone has come back to fight for them, no?" Amanda asked, hoping that Arthur may catch on to her plan before she had to explain the whole thing.

"I would hope for them to respond that way, yes," Arthur replied, trying to track this train of thought.

"Which means that not many of us have to go back and worry about fighting Gurshion and his army. In fact, if just the Knights go with you and corner Gurshion, then almost all could be solved. The Saxon and Irish men that enlisted the help Gurshion, save the guards he keeps, were turning against him when I was there. He was enslaving them like he enslaved us, and at times was even harsher on them," Amanda explained, and Arthur mulled over her points.

"That is true. If there is a larger number of people against Gurshion than he has helping them, then resistance could be minimal enough for even the most emaciated of my soldiers," he said, his head bobbing up and down in agreement. Amanda made a very good point. Amanda smiled as another idea dawned on her.

"In fact, if Gurshion could simply be made to believe that you have cornered him and he has nowhere else to go, even the fighting can be minimal. You could kill Gurshion there, and let the people go. The Celts and the Saxons can go home, and we can return to Camelot," Amanda added, the excitement showing in her voice. Arthur looked at her in gratitude and surprise.

"As long as the few guards are taken care of upon arrival, and we stage it so that Gurshion believes the men he thought he could trust were being slain all over the palace, and I now had some great force against his feeble army, then he will be in our clutches," Arthur said, his hand gripping Amanda's and looking at her in joy. "Amanda Marslyn, I do proclaim that you are the most brilliant mind I have ever met. Come, you must tell me all of the things that unfolded and that Gurshion did while you were there!" He rose excitedly, and pulled Amanda up with him. She showed excitement, but her body was slow and tired. He smiled knowingly and lifted her in his arms.

"Arthur, what are you doing?" she asked, slightly bewildered.

"We can continue this after you rest. But, rest assured, we are going back for them sooner than you think," he said. Amanda smiled and turned her body in against him. He was so powerful and so warm that Amanda could feel naught but protected. He held her so gently, and as unusual that is was for them to be displaying this comfort and affection towards each other, neither questioned it sincerity or believability.

Arthur set her down in his bed tenderly, and Amanda unlatched herself from him. He took a seat at the edge of the bed, and he stared at Amanda as she made herself comfortable.

"You treat me so well Arthur, how am I ever to repay you," she said, her hands groping for the blankets and furs for warmth. Arthur smiled and connected the furs with her hand, placing a blanket down over her vulnerable frame.

"You're not to repay me. You have earned this treatment, and I swear from this moment on I will try to not fight with you," he said, his voice soft and soothing, reaching forward and stroking the side of her face.

"I haven't earned anything, and I am usually the one to begin these arguments. I have been so foolish over these years, Arthur. I have done so many things that have hurt you, and I have only thought of myself," she said, her eyes searching his, pleading for forgiveness.

"We have both done harmful things to one another. You must know I hardly ever meant any of it, you mean more to me than you can fathom," he replied, longing to lean down and kiss her so softly. Her blue eyes ran over his face, and he saw the endless source of comfort in them. A vast ocean of knowledge and understanding, an ocean she wanted to share with him. He shook his head, "How could I not have said this before?" Amanda smiled.

"The same way I couldn't have. We're two very proud people Arthur, but I agree. I will try my hardest to not argue with you," she said, her hand reaching up and running her fingers through his curls. He welcomed the touch and leaned into her hand as it slid down over his face. Her hand fell away gracefully and she drifted into sleep.


	35. Intimacy

Chapter 35: Intimacy

Disclaimer: As always

Note: Thank you for the reviews! I'm so sorry I haven't updated more recently. Thanks for sticking by/joining in! College gets in the way of such writings, you know? Keep reading though! I'm pretty sure I know where the rest of this is going.

* * *

Amanda awoke to excited voices whispering somewhere nearby.

"Do you think it would work?" asked one. Amanda rolled over, her arms going about her head in sleepy frustration.

"Of course it will work!" she yelled in hopes that they would be quiet. A soft laugh came in response, and then the cot creaked as people sat on it. Amanda removed her arms and looked at her visitors. Gawain smiled his good mornings, and Arthur touched her hand.

"Good morning," she said quietly, wondering what was going on. She sat up, and her back stung in agony. She gasped, her hands touching her sides, and Arthur nodded.

"I'll fetch the Caretaker," he said, lifting his great body off the bed as Amanda struggled to move her legs to the edge.

"I am quite fond of your idea," Gawain said, moving over to help Amanda. Amanda smiled and looked up at him.

"Really?" she asked, settling her feet on the floor, "I just figured it was the right way to go about it." Her eyes struggled to stay open, and Gawain could see she was exhausted.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, his voice soft. Amanda looked at him and mustered a smile.

"Yes, I did. Did you?" she asked. He nodded, and looked away from her. Amanda patted his shoulder and they sat in silence for a few moments. Gawain reached up and grabbed her hand, just holding it next to him for a while.

"Amanda," he began, "I think it's time you told Arthur how you feel." Amanda looked at him steadily, and her fingers wiggled against his coarse palm.

"What makes you think that?" she asked, suddenly shy. Her blue eyes fell downward, and she tried to comprehend why he was saying this. Was he trying to distance himself from what he had said? Did he not mean any of it?

"Because it has been too long for the both of you. You cannot continue to play these games with each other, or you'll die of a broken heart," Gawain said. His eyes ran over her face – the curves of her cheek bones, the dissension of her nose, and the arch of her brow – studying the divinity of her features. He had wondered for many days now how Arthur had learned to contain himself around Amanda. She was no ordinary love interest. Before she had been tormented by Gurshion, her physique could inspire the unholiest of thoughts. For those who knew her closely, just her smile could ensure a good day. Even now, in her weakest form to date, Gawain could not tear his eyes away from the thing that he had craved for so long. In his efforts to decipher his love for Amanda, whether it was a purely carnal desire, if it was honestly the second woman he could love in his life time, or if his mind was simply giving him a diversion from the stress that had piled on top of him over the past year. His eyes locked with Amanda's, and he understood that a part of his heart would never let her go. And he knew that a part of him only desired her because she was the only one that had taken the time to know him and see him for who he was. He studied her, and they sat in company until Arthur returned with the Caretaker and Merlin.

Arthur was talking about something when he returned with the two others, but Amanda paid him no mind. She was too focused on Gawain to hear what Arthur was talking about. She was sure it didn't really matter anyway. She studied his face: the curves, lines, and contours that had made him so familiar, but she had ever really noticed. She wanted to reach out and touch him physically – it must have been a Sarmatian attribute. All of the Knights made Amanda feel an almost unreal connection, and need to comfort and be an everlasting wealth of gifts to them. Whatever they needed, she wanted to provide. She felt the Caretakers hand at her shoulder, and she was torn from the face that she was seeing in a new light. She turned slowly, and Gawain rose from the bed. She looked at him once more, studying his profile and wondering why she hadn't seen him in this way before. She had seen his soul plenty of times, but actually seen him physically? She couldn't understand why, or if it was a bad thing. Had she done this with the other Knights? His face faded away from her line of sight, and she knew that he left the tent. She stood slowly, and turned to lie on her stomach. Her eyes met Arthurs, and she smiled.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, and Amanda nodded.

"Yes. Did you?" She held her torso up as she met the bed again, and the Caretaker waited patiently for them to finish their conversation. Arthur sat just above her head so she could see him, on the floor so they were eye level. Amanda stared at his face, and she noticed the structure of his face like she had with Gawain. She noticed the lines of worry and stress that had now been etched into his face, and the hairs around his temples that had started to shine with grey and silver at the roots. She felt herself smile softly, wondering how many of those lines and hairs she had put there on her own. A cold breeze blew at her back as the Caretaker lifted her shirt, apparently deciding that Arthur wasn't going to see anything that would sacrifice Amanda's dignity.

"I'm sorry," she said, still contemplating Arthur's face. Arthur furrowed his brow, and a deep set line appeared between his brows above his nose.

"For what? Amanda, it's barely past dawn and you're causing mischief already?" He smiled a little at the second part, and Amanda smiled back at his jest.

"No," she said softly, and she looked down at the floor beside Arthur before looking to him again, "I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you." Arthur swallowed, and was quiet. She continued, "I know that these past months alone have been unkind to you, me in particular. I regret so many of the things I have said to you in anger and in distress. At times, I know that I have acted without a heart, and seemingly, without a conscience, and have hurt you, angered you, and provoked you. I am sorry about that, and though I've promised you so many times that I would try better and not resort to trying to punish or cause you pain, I really want to be good to you. You have done so much for me Arthur, and for Nicolarious. You have literally gone beyond my imagination in both hospitality and kindness. And all those years ago when you rescued me I never thought any of this would happen. I am truly better for knowing you, and I honestly have to ask for your forgiveness." Her eyes searched for his, but his head was bent in contemplation.

"I have to ask for your forgiveness as well, then. I know that I have equally caused you pain, and I am sorry for having ever hurt you. I look back on our time together and there are many moments I wish I could take back and change. I know we have harmed each other more than we have helped, but I forgive you if you forgive me," he said, his green eyes meeting Amanda's. Her heart swelled in pride and a sense of ease that was not there before, and she smiled brightly.

"I forgave you long ago, Arthur." She reached out her hand, and though it pained her and ruffled his hair. He caught her hand before she could retreat, and he looked at her. Amanda's fooling smile faded, and a more pleasant easiness fell over her pale face.

"Amanda, you must know that the greatest pain you cause me is when you are not near, and in a state that I cannot protect you from. Nothing you could ever say or do to me tortures me more than when I do not know you are safe and well, even if you are red with anger at me," he said softly, his eyes pleading. Amanda looked at him, again, noticing his features. His mouth was an even line, and though his lips were not full like other men, they were honest. His cheeks were not sullen despite the hardships, and his eyes, though in a state of odd emotion for a king, still had a vivaciousness that even Amanda could not unveil. She couldn't help but smile, and she wondered what brought this about.

"I'll try not to leave you again, Arthur," Amanda suddenly gasped as the Caretakers warm hands touch her lashes, rubbing in the serum Merlin had been making for her. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing.

"Is she healing?" she heard Arthur ask, and her eyes opened wide with curiosity, eager to know how her back was doing in someone's experienced opinion.

"Her skin seems to be growing again. The wounds on her lower back are healing slower than the rest, which is why she needs to stay in bed. I'm going to add some more herbs to try and settle the skins agitation. I would suggest not putting that tunic back on until it dries," he said. His voice was steady and sure, and Amanda felt that they knew enough to heal her. Merlin must have healed a hundred soldiers that had worse stab wounds and broken bones. God knew that the Caretaker had done well with Nicolarious.

"Amanda," said Arthur, his voice at her ear. Her eyes closed in an attempt to steady herself, and her attention was gathered to him, "You are going to have to listen to the Caretaker. If you do not, then things could go very badly for you, and your wounds could become infected. Promise me, Amanda?" Amanda's mind devoured the information, and she tried to clear her head from solving the mystery to simply agree to Arthur's wishes.

"Yes, I promise," she murmured. She felt Arthur's fingers at her hand, and she grasped at it like it was life. "Arthur, stay with me. Don't leave me here by myself." Her voice was weak with submission and strain. Her heart needed him to be with her so badly, and craved to pray on his seemingly infinite strength.

"Of course I'm going to stay with you," he said comfortingly, and it felt like his other hand had stroked her hair. "Do not be afraid, Amanda. Just hold my hand." Amanda felt her body relax some, the tense muscles in her shoulder, legs and feet came to terms with the new pain of the Caretakers prodding and rubbing. She opened her eyes and turned her head back out of the pillow. Arthur was sitting beside her on the floor again, and he smiled reassuringly at her.

"This will be a long day, Lady Amanda," said the Caretaker. Amanda nodded slowly.

"You are going to be fine," he said. Amanda broke a smile.

"I thought I might be. My back will look like a furious place," she said, thinking of what it will look like when the wounds heal.

"As I recall, you are fond of scars," Arthur said, his hand loosening around hers but not disconnecting. Amanda smiled.

"I am fond of them. They tell such excellent stories! These will be the only thing that will make my story believable to my children, don't you think?" Amanda laughed softly, trying to seem happy and out of pain. Arthur's thumb stroked the outsides of her fingers, and she looked down at their point of connection. She felt something wipe at her back, and she rustled.

"The wound will need to be tended to again," said the Caretaker, and Amanda went strict with fear at a greater pain.

"Will it cause me to hurt anymore?" she asked timidly.

"I doubt that. It should be like this for the night. Is there anything I can get for either or you?" he asked. Amanda felt hunger pine dimly in her stomach, but Arthur spoke for her.

"Tell Jols that Amanda needs some breakfast. Other than that, everything is fine. Thank you, Caretaker," Arthur said. Amanda looked at Arthur again, and smiled for his gentleness. She didn't hear the Caretaker leave, but when Arthur turned his attention back to her she figured the man had left.

"Thank you," Amanda said. Arthur nodded, and put his free hand on the side of his face.

"Now, Amanda, I have brought Merlin here so that we can explain your plan," Arthur said, and she saw Merlin drag a stool over to be in her line of sight as well. There was a strange look upon his face, and Amanda felt riveted by the gleam in his eye. Amanda allowed Arthur to impart upon Merlin the plan, and she accepted as he emphasized the fact that he would only have to take the knights with him. Merlin nodded in the appropriate places, but the whole time his eyes played upon Amanda's face. She did not release his gaze until Arthur had fallen silent beside her.

"I shall offer you, Arthur," Merlin said somewhat quietly, "the aid of my men." Arthur nodded, and offered his hand to Merlin.

"They have not let me down Merlin, and we are so very grateful for your continued gifts." With that, they shook hands.

"This man you go to fight, the Traitor, as my people call him –"

"—And my people, too –" Arthur added, with a sour note in his voice.

"—will he have the means to defeat you on his own?" Now his eyes fell upon Arthur. Amanda was certain that Merlin was taking in his aging qualities. Qualities and features that Amanda loved and cherished were signs of possible weakness to Merlin, and to others. They were not endearing but rather endangering.

"I understand your concerns, Merlin," Arthur said, "I am not the man you first met. However, I can assure you that Gurshion, older than I and far less experienced, will have no true testimony to having fought with a man face to face. While he may hold brilliant skills in planning tactics and strategies for legions of men, he will stand no match for my brute strength." Amanda devoured his words, and listened in slight awe at their raw passion. She had never heard Arthur speak like this – the gash Gurshion left in his pride must run deeper than her lashes.

"I put all my faith in you, my Knight. To be positive of victory is certainly pleasing to my ears. While my men may be your companions, I do not wish to send them to their deaths," Merlin stated.

"My wishes are like yours. I have separate plans for your men, and hopefully they will see little combat."

"Good," Merlin said. "Then I shall leave you to mend Amanda and speak to you nightfall next. Until then." He swept from the room calmly as he had come, and then the two were alone.

"Are things changing between us, Amanda?" Arthur asked. Amanda looked at him, and tried to convey her confusion.

"What do you mean?" Amanda asked.

"Well, take note of this entire situation. We're apologizing to each other for past wrongs, we're thanking each other without an awkward formalness that you seem to grow fond of when you're uncomfortable with me, and we're making battle plans to win back our home. To be frank, I'm surprised at the both of us," he said. Amanda understood what he meant now, and considered her feelings and state.

"I suppose, on my part anyhow, I'm afraid that I wouldn't get another chance to say those things to you. And, perhaps, I've finally found the sense I'm supposed to have and realize that those in my life that provide my joy, comforts, and friendship are more important than my pride. Does that seem sensible?" Amanda asked, wondering what Arthur thought. He studied her face, and then a smile crept over his face.

"Something more important than your pride?" he asked. Amanda felt her eyes narrow, but she smiled in spite of herself.

"Yes, despite the fact that it's taken me 23 summers to realize this, my brother, the Knights, Caia, Ambrose, Anys and you are more important than my foolish pride. God wishes that I had learned this earlier just as much as you do, Arthur."

"I do not wish that you learned anything faster than you have, Amanda. No matter how you feel about yourself, or how you prioritize feelings and people in your life, you are an amazing person. And you always will be. You have befuddled, astounded, surprised and silenced me plenty of times for me to know that you are a rare thing to be on Earth. But, I am glad that you are not being severe on yourself for having come to this discovery," he said. Amanda nodded, and saw Jols suddenly in her line of vision.

"Your breakfast, Amanda," he said.

"Oh, thank you Jols. It smells delicious," she said. Though she embellished a little bit about the quality of its smell, she knew that it wasn't Jols' fault. He worked with what little the people had. Amanda was thankful that they were fed at all. Jols was silently dismissed by Arthur, and he let go of her hand in order to get her food for her. He handed her a rough biscuit, and kept the bowl of grains and bits of meat at his side. Her hand was still warm from where he had held it, but her mind was weary and trying to shut out the pain.

"You look like you could sleep again," he said softly. Amanda looked at him, and nodded while she chewed.

"But I don't want to go to sleep again," she said, feebly.

"Why not?" Arthur asked. Amanda flashed her eyes at his, and held his gaze.

_He should know why._ Amanda thought, trying to read his face to tell if he was honestly wondering, or if he just wanted to hear her say it.

"I'm enjoying my company," she said, and she saw his eyes crinkle in amusement.

"You say with disdain at the way I make you say these things," Arthur said, jest and laughter in his voice.

"Of course I do! I don't like to be toyed with, Arthur," Amanda said, taking a bigger bite of the biscuit.

"On the contrary, Amanda, I think you enjoy these games. You play enough of them yourself to have an idea when they are being played, and you're just curious enough to try and figure me out," Arthur said, smiling at her. She smiled back, feeling that sense of powerlessness from Arthur. She wanted to blurt out everything she knew and felt, but something held her back. She doubted what kind of feelings he had for her. She knew he loved her on some level, but she didn't want to risk ruining their relationship if he loved her like she was his sister.

"There is something curious between you and Gawain, Amanda. Something that wasn't there before you were under Gurshion. Tell me what it is," he said. Amanda tried to hide her surprise.

_How does he notice these things? I didn't think he had seen Gawain and I together more than once!_ Amanda was shocked at the depth of his abilities. Not only did he know something had changed between him and Amanda, but Amanda and Gawain. Did he suspect Gawain of the feelings he had confided in Amanda?

"What do you think is going on, Arthur?" she asked, taking the only route that seemed plausible if she wanted answers from Arthur without giving away Gawain.

"Now, now Amanda. That's not what I asked for you to tell me," he said. Amanda looked at him and held her hand out for the bowl of food.

"Since when have I ever done what you told me to do? I want to know what you think is happening between Gawain and I, and I think I should be allowed to ask questions before I tell you any facts," Amanda negotiated, and Arthur laughed, holding up his hands.

"All right warrior, I'll tell you what I think," he replied, and he moved his strong body closer to the edge of her bed, "I think Gawain has told you something that you do not know how to respond to, which is on the side of danger since you always have been able to react appropriately before. This means that this piece of information Gawain has imparted upon you is very important. And, in my knowing Gawain, it must have to do with him directly – directly from him to you. That leaves a minimal list of what it could actually be." Amanda watched him, her mind silently wishing she had his conclusive powers. She smiled, and nodded in agreement when he finished.

"You're right Arthur; it is a very small list. What Gawain has told me is very important to both him and I. You are also correct with my uncertainty in how to respond to him. You know that he is a dear friend of mine, and that I would do any deed to not hurt him. However, in this instance, I cannot see an option where one of us is not pained or unhappy," Amanda explained, trying to remain candid to Gawain's feelings towards her, and what he had told her about Arthur. Arthur nodded pensively, taking the full food bowl from her hands and placing it aside. He then took her hands and shifted his body to face her.

"I am surprised. Normally, you would have forsaken your own happiness to provide him his own," Arthur commented. Amanda nodded.

"I realize this, but in this matter, I fear I cannot react so simply. He has also given me advice in an attempt to protect himself, but I think I cannot act on that either for lack of courage," Amanda admitted, her eyes dropping.

"Amanda Marslyn lack courage? This cannot be the same woman! I must have made a mistake at the palace!" Arthur teased, but Amanda shied away.

"I just cannot fathom the outcomes," Amanda murmured. Arthur stroked her thumb.

"Amanda, this is unlike you – to be so cautious when it comes to advice. You either take it or reject it. This piece of advice must involve a very bold move on your part. A move that is not guaranteed success, or at least what you desire. Will you not tell me what it is?" Arthur asked. Amanda looked up at him, searching his face.

_Oh, Arthur, I want to tell you. I have longed to tell you for so long. But, I do not want to ruin this, I cannot bear for you to reject me, _she thought, hoping that some of this emotion would come through her pores and make sense for him. If he could guess it she could not lie to him. If it moved him to speak on it, she would not be inclined to hold herself back. If only she could have some knowledge of what he felt. For some strange reason, she felt her throat begin to knot, as if she was to cry. Arthur must have noticed this reaction, for he reached out and touched her cheek as he had done so many times before. Amanda hastily put her hand on top of his as she swallowed furiously, her fingers gripping closely to his skin. She could not think to hide her desire now. Arthur sensed her need and moved closer to her, and Amanda could feel the tears welling in her eyes. He scooped her up legs up and then rested them on top of his lap as he drew near, putting his other hand on the base of her neck.

"What are you s afraid of?" he asked softly, and Amanda laughed softly as he sent her knees to quake with that voice.

"Everything you said. You are completely right. This advice he gave me involves putting a great deal of myself at stake, and my life would be so much simpler if I could be certain of what would happen. But, I cannot bring myself to utter the words, even now as I sit here in my compromised weakness," Amanda explained, as the tears in her eyes evaporated away and she felt the knot in her throat loosen. Arthur watched her as her body relaxed, continuing to stroke her cheek.

"He's told you he loves you, hasn't he?" Arthur asked after a great pause. Amanda's eyes snapped to his face and her lips parted in some sense of disbelief.

"How did you know?" she asked, bewildered. "Honestly Arthur, if you have been snooping on my private conversations –" _why are you dragging this out and not responding to my love for you?_

"Now now Amanda, I do not invade the privacy of those I wish to protect. I only had to think on it. If there is one thing you value over everything else, it is love. You love those around you so much that you will sacrifice your own free will to protect and preserve them. But, even the idea of you marrying someone you love but are not _in_ love with frightens you. Unfortunately, there is this great battle within, the part of you that has an infinite desire to please and provide joy to those around you and the part of you that desires some of that for yourself," he explained, and Amanda, though still dumbfounded, nodded quietly in agreement.

"Aye, Arthur, he has told me that he loves me. And that is the battle I am having with myself. Gawain knows this, and his advice he gave me earlier involves not only a great opening for myself to be severely damaged, but involves him being denied the only thing he has ever expressed to me as wanting. If his advice turns to be leave me damaged, I cannot go back to him and tell him he was wrong. I just cannot bear to think of Gawain as being alone for the rest of his life because of me," Amanda said, the words flowing from her mouth like a fountain, unable to stop them even though she knew she had said too much. She could predict what Arthur was to say next.

"You love another?" he asked, point blank. Amanda downcast her eyes, feeling the red fill her cheeks. She lifted a hand to her head and buried her fingers into her short hair. She waited several moments before she answered, trying to assure herself that she would not reveal to him who it was. Then, she lifted her head and looked into his green eyes. She smiled to herself, thinking only on how no matter how hard she tried to keep herself a knot and closed off, Arthur unraveled her and opened her up unlike any other.

"Yes Arthur, I love another. I told Gawain that I could not love him in any other way than I do now, and that was when he gave me the advice. He has known I have loved this person for some time, so that is why I believe he told me to do what I am struggling with and is resigned to the fact that he will not find another to love. Which breaks my heart."

"I'm sorry he is contributing to the pain of this struggle," Arthur answered, "and it is a sad thought for him to feel like he will not find another to love." Amanda nodded in agreement, and took her legs off of Arthurs lap, curling them up under her body.

"Tell me." Arthur said. Amanda looked at him.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me who it is," Arthur said. Amanda laughed.

"No," she answered, adjusting the blankets around her. Arthur moved closer to her again.

"Amanda, I want to know," he said, his eyes actually pleading with her. Amanda was actually taken aback by this, wondering why he would want to know so badly.

"Why do you want to know?" she demanded.

"Because I need to tell you if he is a good man or not," Amanda stared at him in his response, and then laughed wildly.

"Oh, Arthur," she said, her speech broken between peals of laughter, "he is a good man. I assure you." Arthur furrowed his brow, obviously offended by her reaction.

"Then why are you so afraid to tell him?" Arthur yelled, and it silenced Amanda.

"Why would I tell him?" Amanda asked back, and Arthur rose from the bed. He looked at her, shook his head and walked out of the tent. Amanda sat in the bed, totally flabbergast at what had just happened before her. She sunk back into the pillow, her mind racing to try and figure out why Arthur had gotten upset with her. Why, after he had been so gentle and caring with her had he been so cross? What had she said?

* * *

The fire was roaring and the people were in a better mood than usual. A few of them had finished the final hut for the last family, and other had secured some seeds for planting. A few Woads had come by to speak to Arthur about where border patrols should be placed and to confirm their meeting with Merlin and him in the coming night; their wives had come bearing game they caught earlier that day. Merlin joined them later that day, and Amanda sat by the fire as she listened to Arthur thank him.

"Merlin, you have come to our aid so much, there aren't enough ways for me to express my gratitude," he said, truly humbled. Merlin nodded, but changed the subject. Amanda turned her attention away from their conversation, her mind mulling over whether Arthur was no longer angry with her, and why on earth he had been upset in the first place. Amanda let her eyes wander over to Caia and Ambrose – the divine pair. She smiled softly at them, excited for them to marry and finally be together.

_Finally be together_, Amanda repeated, saddened a little. _I would like to finally be with Arthur. _ She watched the two hold hands and kiss swiftly as to not attract attention to themselves, and laugh and smile at each other as if their whole world had not drastically changed a short while ago. Amanda's mind flashed to Gurshion, and the thought of him sitting in the palace made her skin crawl. The blood crept to her ears as her anger rose, and she wrapped her fists around her to prevent being noticed. How could someone like that have beaten Arthur's magnificent army? How could Gurshion have made it in? Amanda reached for a mug of ale, something she was hesitant to do, but now felt she deserved.

_It doesn't matter, Amanda,_ she told herself, _he is losing his credibility as a leader in that palace, and the Irish and Saxons are certainly not going to stand for it much longer_. Amanda cleared her throat before she took a swig of the ale, and then she closed her eyes in thought. Her mind raced through memories of the year that had past them, and twangs of pain thumped at her heart. This year had been difficult to bear – it seemed a miracle that they had all made it through in one piece. And then Amanda reminded herself that they were hardly in one piece.

"I would not be drinking much more of that, if I were you," Galahad said, dropping down next to her.

"And what, pray tell Master Galahad, makes you think I want any more?" She let her voice drip with humor and amusement. Galahad smiled and took the mug from her pale hands.

"Not a thing, my dear lass, 'cept that twinkle in your eye," he said, and she reached forward to ruffle his hair. "How are you feeling?" Amanda looked down into her now empty hands, and sighed. Her back was in pain, there was no question in that. Her mind reverted back to her lost sense of self. Was there anything inside her beyond confusion and some sense of love?

"I am well, Galahad, better than I have been in many, many days. And how are you?" she asked, locking eyes with her dear friend. She saw some flit of pain in them, and she narrowed in on it. "You are unhappy."

"Not as unhappy as I was before you came back," he answered, his elbows propping him upon his thighs and he bent over his body.

"Tell me what troubles you," she asked.

"It's more like frustration. Being here, in this shameful moor, degraded to be outcasts. We built that place with our bare hands, Amanda. You were not there to see it rise about the earth in defiance of everything Roman and Saxon. And to have some traitor take it out from under us – " he broke off, his hands trembling around his own mug. Amanda could not help but share in his anger.

"Galahad, I understand you better than anyone how you feel. But, I promise you, the plan we have devised to win back Camelot is sure not to fail. Bring that fury you harbor in your chest to that battle and there is no one who will shine brighter than the Knight there to avenge what is rightfully his." Her hand gripped his forearm in excitement, and she searched his eyes. "My friend, do not let this frustration eat at you. There are a thousand ways you can be helping your brothers here without letting Gurshion damper your spirits and your pride."

"How am I to help people that I do not know, nor have anything in common with?" he asked, a tone of outrage coming through. Amanda did not wish to provoke him; she did not want him to feel accused.

"You can start by looking for what you share. Galahad, you are one of the most amicable people I know! How could you be at a loss for people you have lived among for all these years? Do not think that I am trying to make you feel guilty or ashamed, please no – just think of me as trying to help you rid yourself of this grief in your heart until it is time to use it against our enemy. There is no sense in keeping it alive for our friends." Amanda finished, looking at him, hoping her appeal would not fall on deaf ears. Galahad looked at her, and after a few moments a grin split across his face.

"Amanda, you never cease to rouse me to do your will. You are the sister I never had and the love I have yet to find," he said, happily. She saw now a reflection of the Galahad she had always known. It was comforting to her to know he was buried in there, but still alive.

"And you are the older brother I never wanted!" she said, jokingly. Galahad laughed and moved to be rough with her, but she put up her hands in defense, "No, you cannot touch me! I am frail and weak!"

"That she is, and she should return to bed," said a deep voice from behind her. Amanda nodded and closed her eyes, picturing his face before her.

"Oh Arthur, the man who possesses the words to make all the entertainment stop," Amanda said, hoping the humor would appeal to his better nature. She tilted her head back to stare up his chest into his face. He smiled stiffly down at her. "All right, all right, I will retire." Amanda pushed herself up gingerly and turned to Galahad.

"Care to escort me back to my astonishingly beautiful abode?" she asked, sticking out her arm.

"If I must," Galahad answered, feigning a begrudging look, and hopped up to her side. "I cannot wait until you are well again and I can tackle you when you deserve it!" Amanda gasped in response as they parted ways from the crowd, heading towards Arthur's tent. And then it occurred to Amanda that this would be the third night she had taken his bed. She halted.

"Arthur," she said softly, and turned to his back. "Where is my new shelter?" He turned half to her, his body perpendicular to her.

"I beg your pardon?" he asked, confused.

"I cannot keep taking your bed from you, you need a place to sleep. Where is my new shelter and bed?" she asked, clarifying her meaning. He blinked in her direction a few times as if it hadn't crossed his mind.

"I shall set up another bed for tonight, and we can address that in the morning," his voice sounding lazy. Amanda nodded curtly and turned again, rejoining Galahad. They chattered and bickered merrily until they were upon the tent, and Galahad released her arm.

"Anys is in there waiting for you, I believe," he said, peering through the parted canvas.

"Galahad," Amanda began, curious, "do you think Anys pretty?" Galahad looked startled by her question.

"I suppose, I've never really gotten a good look at her." Amanda smiled innocently, and he grinned in knowing what she was up to. "Now now Amanda, there is no time for you to be playing matchmaker."

"There is always time, darling," she said, one hand pushing aside the canvas while the other patted his cheek. She heard him snort with laughter as he walked away, and Amanda smiled brightly at Anys.

"Oh, m'lady!" exclaimed Anys, her eyes darting up and down her body.

"Anys, what have we discussed about those silly titles?" Amanda asked, moving towards the bed.

"That you do not like them, and that I am to address you as Amanda, because that is your name," Anys recited flawlessly, but hurriedly, "forgive me for the mistake, but there is something here for you." Amanda looked up at her interested, and Anys stepped aside to reveal the stool that both Arthur and Merlin had most recently sat in. For a moment what was there did not register in Amanda's mind, but then her lips parted in a gasp that was barely audible. Her eyes lit up at the sight of a small note, tied together with a red ribbon. At first she could not move forward to attend to the note, her heart pounding in the mystery of it all.

"Do you think it could be?" Amanda asked, her eyes flitting to Anys for an instant before they were sucked back to the note.

"It has to be, Amanda," Anys whispered, staring at the note as well. Amanda rose swiftly from the bed, her hand reaching the note before she had even taken a step. She untied the ribbon clumsily, her fingers trembling and her stomach doing somersaults in her chest. Finally the ribbon fell to the floor at her feet and she was unraveling the parchment as quickly as she could. There upon the page was his tight and tidy scroll, the scroll she had missed so dearly before she was left with Gurshion.

My dearest,

How is it that even when you have left me for so long,

that my heart still pounds in my ears when you are near?

Please, do not leave me again. There is nothing more I desire

than to continue to see your bright and shining face.

May I ask something of you?

-M.

Amanda's heart leapt into her throat. How did he know to twist such words to her delight? She lowered herself down onto the bed, the note clutched tightly in her hand. Her head found the pillow, and though she could not see them, not turn to look, she imagined the stars above shining slightly brighter for her. Surely, her feelings for Arthur were more pronounced than this man could ever accrue from her – but he did not fear to show his affection for her.

"Did you want to send a note back, Amanda?" Anys asked, lifting one of her legs and taking off a boot. Amanda smiled dreamily.

"No, not tonight Anys. I think it best to wait until the morrow."


	36. A Small and Quiet Ceremony

Chapter 36: A Small and Quiet Ceremony

Disclaimer: Same

Note: This is what you've all been waiting for. Hurry up and read already!

* * *

Arthur smiled at Amanda as he watched her sleep. The bed that he and Jols had made for him was situated on the opposite side of the large tent from her, and he had wandered in much later that night to find some clothes. She was clutching something in her hand, and while he dared not disturb her, he could not help admiring the enthusiasm with which she seemed to be living life with when she had fallen asleep with the paper in her hand.

What she had told him earlier echoed in his head. He knew that it was not news to him – she had told him that she loved someone in the Keep, during the break between battles. He had not reacted so harshly with her then because he did not consider that it might not be he she loved. Images of her staring affectionately at Gawain flashed before his mind's eye, and despite the fact that she did not love Gawain in the way that he apparently loved her it did not sooth Arthur any.

He wanted to wake her. He wanted to plant soft and gentle kisses upon her brow and cheek until she woke, and looked up to see that it was he. He could only hope that, in doing so, she would be as relieved as he. But, as he watched her intake and exhale breaths, her mind far off in a distant dream world, he could not help but feel he would be taking something from her if he woke her. She deserved a peaceful night sleep more than any other. Besides, there would be more prudent places for him to reveal his true affection for her.

* * *

The sun beat lazily down upon the cold, hardened earth. A few Woads were shifting quietly through the edge of the far off woods, and the feeble early morning bird calls resounded through the still, crisp air. Amanda stretched her arm out to her side as sleep left her eyes, fingers still clasping the small roll of parchment that had brought her such joy the previous night. She smiled to herself before sitting up in the cot, relinquishing the furs and glancing around the tent.

On the far side, she could see a number of cots gathered there, two with bodies still in them. Barely discerning the curly top of one Galahad, and the mess of long, golden hair of still another Gawain, she chuckled and let her feet find the floor. They had most certainly had a rougher night than she…

She wiped at her mouth, and habitually scratched her head, a small pang of longing for her old curls. She was not in need of them, but missed the completeness they brought to her face and appearance. Being treated and looking like a man was losing its original charms. Under Gurshion a bald head had its advantages, and had most definitely made it harder for him to single her out, but now that she was with her own, she longed for the last identifiable part of her old life.

_I shall let my hair grow twice as long, _she thought resolutely. Letting her hand fall from her head, she gripped the side of the bed and hoisted herself up slowly. Her back was not crying out in crippling pain, but was issuing more of a dull whimper. As soon as she showed herself outside Arthur would undoubtedly have the Caretaker on her to dress the wounds. She placed her hands on the small of her back, the thick dressings acted like padding between her hands and her skin. She remembered the day of those lashings vividly. Her spine ticked in memory of the perfectly placed whip-marks. Closing her eyes in an attempt to clear her mind, Amanda walked toward the opening in the tent. Parting the way a little to peer outside, she saw a few of the people walking around with early game catches. The little ones had not escaped outside yet, and Amanda was surprised at how early she had risen. Looking over at the small table she had set the note down on, she walked back and searched for something to reply with. Shuffling through some of what she assumed were Arthurs belongings, she discovered a piece of parchment and a quill. The end touched her tongue thoughtfully before dunking it in some ink, her mind churning to find the right words.

_Mysterious_, she began, her mind drawing a blank. The end of the quill flitted across her nose as she twisted it between her thumb and forefinger. _I am flattered to see you have not forgotten me. I would not know how my body reacts to you considering I do not know who you are. I have considered for some time now just what your identity truly is, but I have been proven wrong several times now. What is it you would like to ask me? _

She reconsidered the note but once, figuring he wouldn't really care about the in between as long as he was granted permission to ask his question. Waving the scroll back and forth some to dry the little ink she searched the floor for the ribbon he had used to tie his message up. Finding it on the floor, she smiled, and then realized the color was strangely familiar. Where had she seen this dark, hunter green before? Examining it, she realized it was no ribbon – for who had dragged ribbon along with them while running from war – but a neatly torn piece from a bigger specimen. She was sure she had seen this somewhere before.

The tent flaps opened as she was tying the cloth around the parchment, and her eyes glanced up to see Anys.

"I was coming to see if you had written a response," she said merrily, and Amanda rose to hand it to her. "The Caretaker will be joining us very shortly." Amanda nodded and sat back upon the bed. Anys left the room to find the messenger, and a conversation was carrying itself into the tent.

"I do not see why you would object to performing the ceremony, cousin!" one voice said, the tone indignant. In marched Arthur and Ambrose, the latter hot on Arthurs heels. Amanda and Arthurs eyes met for but a moment before Arthur rounded on Ambrose.

"Why is it so important that I be the one?" Arthur asked, his voice doing poorly to remain polite.

"Because Arthur," Ambrose said, "you are the one we have known the longest, and have always been the one to remind us of how much we actually love each other. It would be invaluable to both Caia and I if you were to be the one who joined us before God."

"I am no priest, Ambrose!" Arthur replied, not angry but trying to persuade.

"Merlin was no priest when you married Guinevere," Ambrose said, "and we are not asking you to become something that you are not. All we ask is that the one person we both have loved since childhood be the one who binds us in matrimony." Amanda looked to Arthur to see his defense wearing down. Finally, after much staring at the floor, Arthur gave a curt nod and said a soft "all right." Amanda smiled as Ambrose hugged him gratefully.

"Good morning, Amanda," Ambrose said, before turning to run off and probably tell Caia that Arthur had agreed. Arthur's hand went to his eyes and pulled the lids into his nose before releasing them, as if trying to wipe some invisible stress. Amanda cleared her throat softly.

"Good morning, Arthur," she said timidly. Arthur turned partially to her, and half smiled in her direction.

"Good morning."

"When have they decided to have the ceremony?" Amanda ventured, not sure if she would get a reply. Arthur stalked over to the bed she had been sleeping in, and sat down. His elbows rested on his wide spread knees, and he looked at Amanda. After some pause, he answered.

"The Sunday after this. They have asked me to preside over the ceremony."

"So I gathered," she replied.

"I am not convinced that it would suit them best," Arthur said, his head turning to watch an invisible Ambrose pass excitedly through the tents to find his future bride.

"Why not? If you do not mind my bias, I feel as though Ambrose made a very strong argument. You are the thing that ties them to each other, the sole being they have in common." Amanda said, watching Arthur tentatively.

"I do not feel," Arthur began, "as though my relationship with God has been decent enough to preside over something that involves something as pure as love." Amanda furrowed her brow, slightly taken aback. Arthur, not have a good relationship with God? She rose from the small table and crossed to his side. Sitting upon the cot next to him, she reached forward and grabbed his upper arm, pulling it over to her lap and rubbing the muscles that composed his forearm. He looked at her, surprise written on his face, but not reluctance.

"Explain this to me," Amanda said. "If there is anyone who I thought had a model and honest relationship with God it was you." She looked on as muscles in his jaw clenched and released, as though chewing over the words he was going to say.

"An honest relationship, yes," he said, "but not a model one. I have had my disagreements with God as of late. I was, or am, generally displeased with the way He has decided to act upon things." He looked at Amanda again, and smiled weakly.

"With Camelot?" she asked. He nodded.

"And with you," he added.

"Yes, I was quite mad at Him for that, too," Amanda agreed. Arthur raised his eyebrows, and Amanda's fingers continued to work upon his arm. "Well, I blame myself for not following your orders and going back into the palace, sure. But, I was not happy with why I was to suffer so much at the hands of Gurshion when I consider myself having gone through enough this year." Amanda had not expressed this before, but it flowed naturally off her tongue as though she had been saying it for quite some time.

"I understand and empathize with your feelings," Arthur commented, "I have seen you struggle with all the things He has laid before you, and the more I dwell on it the angrier I become." Amanda smiled, and ceased rubbing his arm.

"Arthur," she said quietly, "there is no use in being mad at God. Not over the things that have happened to us. I understand that it is much simpler to be cross with Him, and to question why all of these things have plagued us. But, we have all managed to survive these events, have we not?" Arthur stared at her profoundly, his green eyes wide. "I apologize, have I said too much?"

"No," he said, almost breathlessly. "I am just astounded at your speech there. I never thought you would be so calm about it. I agree, now that you have brought it to my attention in such a rational way, but I imagined you being much more heated and passionate about it." Amanda smiled, knowingly.

"I have given it great contemplation," she said. She reached out and touched his outer cheek for a moment, and smiled again.

"Ah!" said a voice from the doorway. Amanda jumped a little when she heard it, and snapped her eyes to the source, "I am glad to see you are awake, Amanda." The Caretaker bustled over to her, and Arthur rose from the bed. Amanda looked longingly at the moment that had passed, and she rolled over on to her stomach per usual.

It felt like years before the Caretaker had finished rebinding her and Amanda was able to dress herself. She had borrowed clothes from Galahad, seeing as he and Gawain were cycling through what little they had been able to bring to the Keep, and Amanda had nothing. Joining the rest of the world beyond the tent, her eyes spotted both her brother and Caia in consecutive moments. Both saw her, and both moved towards her. She smiled warmly, and slung an arm around her brother's shoulders as they waited for Caia. She poked Nicolarious in the ribs as Caia approached, his ears going bright red and tossing a glare at Amanda for knowing his infatuation.

"Good morning, darling," Caia said, her hands scruffing Nicolarious' hair and grinning at Amanda. Instantly, Caia fell into discussion about her upcoming ceremony, Amanda listening and joining when needed. She was so very happy for her, and for Ambrose. The two appeared made for each other, and there could not have been a more perfect match.

"I am very happy for you, and so please to hear the Arthur consented to preside over your ceremony," Amanda said, looping her spare arm through Caia's as they strolled along to see Jols, so Amanda could get breakfast.

"And what have you been up to this morning?" Caia asked, and Amanda smiled, wishing she could tell her about the note from Mysterious. Looking at Nicolarious, Amanda released him and he frowned some.

"I do not understand what you can tell her and you cannot tell me," he said, sounding truly offended.

"In this one matter," Amanda said, "it is because you are a boy and we are girls and I do not want you to know!" Nicolarious huffed softly, and as he turned Amanda kicked him playfully in the rear. He hopped a little, and pretended to be in great pain, holding his buttocks until satisfied he had made them laugh. When he had gone, Amanda recounted the note and what it had said, as well as her reply from this morning.

"Hmm," said Caia, pondering, "that is strange. There are not many people who would have thought to bring parchment, not to mention the necessities to utilize it." This was an interesting point. Amanda had forgotten that these circumstances were different.

"I have been thinking," Amanda began, considering Caia's point, "I want to do something for him." Caia raised a graceful brow in curiosity, and Amanda felt compelled to explain. "I mean, he has just been so supportive to me and he gave me that beautiful ring for my birthday." Caia nodded, but something crossed her face that Amanda was unsure of.

"I think," Caia continued, "that you should make him prove himself more. What I mean is that there has not been much meaningful conversation that has passed between the two of you, more of just sweet nothings. Why not wait to see if he is as intelligent as you want him to be before you take action you might regret?" Amanda was slightly surprised at this, but she nodded.

"That is a good idea. I should see how much knowledge is up inside of his head," Amanda said, laughing. Returning her now empty plate to Jols, Amanda turned back to the fire pit. The blackened embers from the night before still steamed some, and she wished she had been able to stay to see the fire die. Her back was becoming more of a nuisance than anything. Caia continued to talk about the plans for the ceremony, diving into how it was going to take place by the twin streams.

"Will you help me gather some greens to add color to the tables?" Caia asked, excitedly. Amanda smiled, and nodded in equal excitement. It was so refreshing for there to be something to be excited about. This energy was different, more joyful than the energy required for things like battle. Caia asked her opinion on what Amanda thought might be best, and Amanda admired her. She was sure that when Caia Donellia thought of her wedding, whether it was to Ambrose or not, it was not taking place in a field someplace with not an ounce of grandeur.

"I'm sorry, Caia," Amanda said, looking her friend in the face.

"For what my dear?" Caia asked, brow furrowed, hands paused mid action.

"For this not being the wedding I am sure you always dreamed of," Amanda explained, taking one of Caia's hands and patting it. A smile split Caia's face, and she laughed a little.

"Amanda," she said, "that is not your fault."

"Oh, I know," Amanda said, "but I still feel badly that you are denied the pleasures of a normal wedding because of this mess we are in. It is just unfair for you to not have what you want because of something that we should have been able to prevent." Caia studied Amanda, and her lips pursed. Amanda hoped that Caia would not take offense to what she had said, she merely hoped to convey her sympathies. Caia looked to the ground, and her fingers shifted in Amanda's hand.

"I can understand why you would feel bad," Caia said softly, "but I have decided that marrying Ambrose is much more important than the style we marry in. Being his wife means everything to me at this point in time, not the grandeur of a wedding that won't be remembered beyond those who attended it. A small, simple, quiet ceremony will do." Amanda stared at her, and if her speech had been made under any other circumstances, she would not have believed it. Caia Donellia, the woman who had more knowledge about flowers and balls and etiquette than Amanda could believe was possible, has to care about every last beautiful detail of her own ceremonies and affairs. But now? There seemed to be no fleck of dishonesty in her face, and her humbled voice lead Amanda to believe that she would be telling the truth about their wedding. Caia understood that it had nothing to do with the wedding, and instead that what came out of a wedding mattered most. Amanda admired her. If she had been in Caia's position, she knew she would be rather indignant, and would insist upon waiting to have a large and grand affair after they had retaken Camelot.

"Caia," Amanda said, "I think that you have grown more from this endeavor than any other person." Caia looked up at her again and smiled.

"Well, thank you." The two moved forward, and towards bushes and small saplings to see what might look best. Amanda ran her fingers over all the different leaves and needles and small berries as they spoke. Caia wanted a lot of green to be around them, and the two devised a schedule for cutting the branches.

"The branches should hold nicely until your ceremony," Amanda said, kneeling upon the cold earth to examine an extensive bough. "Of the berries we can find, they'll retain their color for a long while. Would you want them dried out or still plush?"

"I have not thought on it," Caia answered. "I suppose having them be full would be more appealing. I am hoping Ambrose will be able to catch good game for the dinner we want to have."

"Are you feeding the settlement?" Amanda asked. She was unsure as to whether or not Caia and Ambrose would include the people in their affair, but she hoped they would.

"Yes," Caia said, "at first we wanted it to be just you, Arthur, Gawain, Galahad and Nicolarious, but Nicolarious would hear nothing of it." Amanda smiled at the news.

"Oh really?" she asked, "Why?"

"The only argument he made was that 'The people of Camelot deserve to enjoy in such a joyful occasion as well!'" Caia and Amanda laughed, and Caia spoke again, "He is just jealous." Amanda snapped her stare to Caia, eyebrows raised.

"I was wondering how long it would take before you noticed," Amanda mentioned, smiling softly at the thought of her siblings well-rounded affection for Caia.

"Amanda," Caia said coyly, "you should understand me by now. There is no man whose affections I know not of." Amanda looked to her again, and rose from the ground.

"Even Ambrose?" Amanda asked.

"Well," Caia said, her mouth downturned for a moment. "I was unsure of his affection for a long while. Of course, I knew he cared for me, and I was very well aware of my own adoration for him swelling. For a very long while I was unable to decipher his intent and my heart was eating at me. I was dreadfully afraid of him loving another and my love being misplaced. A few weeks before the war, however, he let himself relax. He started to connect to me more by touching me more frequently, talking to me more as a friend and confidant than in that silly arrogant tone, and spending time with me in general. He asked after parts of me that, before, I thought he was incapable of knowing. He asked about my fears and some of my darkest secrets. It was as if he changed from trying to win my affections to trying to be one with my heart." Amanda looked at her, again, rather pensively, and could not save her thoughts from straying to Arthur. Did he echo his cousin in his attempts with Amanda? He was, most certainly, being gentler with her than in the past. But, was this because he was tired of chasing her and was throwing himself out for her heart to catch, or because he felt guilty?

While Amanda had hoped that what Caia had said would help her, her mind was more restless than ever. As the two girls spent more than half the day gathering large amounts of branches and other greenery they could find, they spoke of things with less depth. While Amanda's back often protested, she said nothing of the sort for fear of having to stop. She knew Caia was well aware of Amanda's injuries, but Amanda felt that Caia did not want her to go either.

Soon after they were nearing the end of their task, Ambrose trotted up to Amanda and Caia, a smile wide upon his face. Caia lit up instantly at the sight of him, and though Amanda knew they wanted to be intimate, they refrained for her presence.

"Nic and I caught the most beautiful bucks," he reported, and Caia smiled again.

"That is excellent," she said, "Do you believe it will be enough for every one?"

"Well," he began, shifting on his feet, "I am unsure. Nic and I caught a few pheasants and one quail. Arthur told me that Merlin has a few of the Woad women gathering for us. I fear the area will be well clean of any edible things soon." The last part he added with a low voice, but Amanda heard him clear as day. It was something she had been thinking on for a few nights. They will have to move settlement again soon, despite the shelters and homes the people had already built. She felt her spirits drop a little as she entered her realm of deep thought. Her friends voices faded from her ears, and her mind began mulling over Camelot. They had to enact the plan soon. They had to go back to their home soon, or they never would.

"Amanda, darling," she heard Caia say, "you should go rest. I believe we have enough greens to fill the Parthenon." Amanda smiled at her jest, and nodded her goodbyes. She knew the couple wanted time to be alone and to discuss the things that Ambrose had mentioned. Amanda did not mind, and she wandered back to the tents.

The sky was still clear, and nearly blue enough to be called spring like. Her mind drifted from place to place as she walked on, her eyes looking slowly from grass to sky to horizon. Her fingers began to twitch in a desire to return to Camelot. She would never understand this restless quality about her soul, but the yearning to win back the place she loved more than any other in the world was so very strong. Her bottom lip tucked itself into her mouth as she continued to think about the upcoming wedding. She would have nothing to give the new couple. She would have nothing beautiful to wear, and no gifts to share with her friends. This was supposed to be a happy occasion, was it not? Then why did it seem to grow more and more lackluster with every moment? She could truly admire Caia and Ambrose now.

_Aside from their fear of his dying before they could wed,_ Amanda added to herself. She has considered the thought when Caia first told her, but she knew that it was not an irrational reason to be married. Caia and Ambrose loved each other, so why should they not be married before Ambrose enters another battle and faces death.

_So why should you and Arthur be any different?_ Her mind challenged. Why did she and Arthur not worry about their future and act as Caia and Ambrose? Amanda's feet hurried as she began to think about losing Arthur. What would she have if he was killed? As some sort of panic came over her, she rushed further, almost back to the line of tents. She could see him standing near the central fire, talking to Jols and Gawain about something. They were laughing about something that Jols had said. Amanda ran her hand over her head in stress – she did not want to lose Arthur before she had seized her opportunity.

"Amanda!" a voice called. Amanda stopped amidst makeshift homes, and spun to find the person. Anys was coming quickly at her. Amanda furrowed her brow, and she waited for Anys to reach her. Anys was smiling broadly, her had outstretched. "He has written back so quickly." Amanda's eyes widened.

"Mysterious had replied?" Amanda asked for clarification. Anys nodded and Amanda took the tiny fold of parchment from her long fingers. This note was remarkably smaller than last time, and Amanda thought he must have been trying to save his limited supply of materials. She pulled at one of the creases and opened it carefully. He had indeed been conserving his resources. Unfolded completely, it was no longer than her palm, and not much wider. His script had become smaller, and it was at the top of the square.

_How is it that you can so resolute about returning to the palace when it ravished you before?_

Amanda stared at the note and then laughed softly.

"Is he afraid of returning?" Amanda asked herself aloud, eyes glazing over the text once more. She shook her head, and turned back towards the tent. This note was curious. This was the first thing that she and her mysterious admirer had exchanged that was real conversation. He was actually asking her opinion on something. This excited Amanda. With the exception of Caia, most people were too busy trying to take care of Amanda these days. Upon reaching the large tent, she hurried to the bed she had slept in and reached for the quill she used that morning, and began to write out her answer. She was sure to write it directly under his question in order to save parchment.

_I feel as though all efforts should be made to rescue the place I call my home. Do you not want to return?_

She felt as though this question was warranted. She folded the paper along the same creases, and handed it back to Anys.

* * *

Over the course of the next several days, Amanda and her Mysterious filled several small squares with discussion about the retaking of the palace. It then crossed into a conversation about what people really can value.

_I see value as something that I can hold in my hands as well as my head. I can hold earth, I can hold another, and I can hold a sword. I can see what is possible with that earth, I can feel love for another, and I can use a sword for what I believe is good. _

This answer was one that resonated with Amanda. She had replied with understanding, and expressed her own beliefs in what and how to value something. The more and more they exchanged ideas, the more and more she realized that this man was no ordinary man. He was no peasant or tradesman who had sought her out of fancy. This man had been educated to great lengths, not only in a formal sense, but in experience as well. Amanda was growing more and more impressed by him. She was hoping to be able to move into more personal matters soon.

As the days passed, the settlement and her friends got more and more excited about Caia and Ambrose's union. Gawain and Galahad were helping Nicolarious and Ambrose see to the hunt, and Jols and Arthur were working on Arthur's giving the ceremony. Amanda and Caia continued to make some arrangements of greens and of the area they were to use. Soon enough, the day was to be upon them. Caia had asked Amanda to stand as her maid of honor, and Amanda accepted gladly. The only things that they had to wear were the clothes they had come in, and the few things that had been made out of animal hide and shared within the community. Caia had saved the dress she had fled Camelot in for this day since Ambrose had asked her, and she was now thankful that she had. Amanda was no longer ashamed to wear the things that had been kindly given to her.

On the day before the wedding, the sun decided to show itself from behind its usual thick curtain of clouds. The day was brilliant, and all the settlers were hoping it would carry out until the next afternoon. Caia and Amanda had abducted a table from the Caretaker once he had finished dressing the back wounds, and they laid out the rest of the greenery they had cut. Laughing and chatting merrily, they were joined by Galahad and Nicolarious around midday.

"It is a shame," Galahad muttered, sitting down on the bench. Amanda and Caia both shot looks at him, begging for him to clarify.

He looked at both of them, and raised a brow. "It's a shame that you are getting married tomorrow Caia." Caia's lips parted as her mouth opened in confused disbelief. Galahad smiled, and slung an arm around Amanda's neck, who protested.

"Galahad," Nicolarious began, "what on Earth are you saying?"

"It is a shame," Galahad continued, "because I like flowers. I do not like twigs and branches." Amanda stared up at him for a few moments before her mouth split and she began to laugh.

"I did not realize you were the sentimental type, Galahad," Caia said, laughing heartily. Galahad smiled, and ran a hand over his head.

"Yes, that did make me sound like a bit of a pansy, did it not?" he asked, smiling honestly at Amanda. Amanda nodded as she laughed more.

"Of course! But, do not worry, I will not tell Gawain that you love flowers as much as you do," she said. Nicolarious was still laughing.

"Oh you should worry Galahad," Nicolarious said, leaning across the table and picking up one of the longer branches from its respective pile, "for I will tell Gawain." Galahad feigned a cross face, and the girls laughed a little more. Nicolarious winked and rolled the twig in his palms.

"And what are you all laughing so loudly about?" asked Arthur, who was walking over to the table from a discussion with a few of the settlers. The group smiled at him, and Amanda's eyes followed him as he made for a space opposite her.

"Galahad loves flowers," Nicolarious chimed, and Galahad smiled, his arm falling from around Amanda. Arthur's eyebrows raised, and he laughed.

"He also loves walking beneath the moon," he added, and they laughed again.

"I like flowers at weddings," Galahad explained, perhaps tired of being teased. Arthur digested this for a moment, looking at the greens on the table.

"Yes," he said, "I can understand that. They are a small measure more cheerful, would you not agree?" The group nodded, and Amanda eyed Caia. She sighed softly.

"I believe the arrangements Amanda and I have made are very pretty," she said, softly. Amanda smiled, and reached across the table for her hand.

"Oh," Arthur began, cutting Amanda off, "I think they will make tomorrow a lovely day. Besides, you and Ambrose make such a handsome pair that it will not matter." Caia smiled, his words making her feel stronger. Amanda smiled, and squeezed her friends hand softly.

"In fact," Arthur continued, "I would only replace these for flowers in order to make a crown for Amanda's unsightly bald head!"

Amanda rolled her eyes as the group burst into another round of laughter. Galahad rubbed her head jokingly, and Amanda shoved him playfully. She looked at Caia again, and saw her head cocked to the side, staring at Amanda's head.

"No!" Amanda cried, pointing at Caia, "You are to have no ideas off of that speech. I am not wearing a crown of pine needles!" Caia blushed slightly, but laughed with the others and they continued their work. The ladies hands worked swiftly, wrapping the different shades of brown and green around each other.

"I believe that is something that I do not know about either of you," Galahad mentioned after moments of pensive silence.

"What is that, darling?" Amanda asked, not looking up from her work.

"What your or Caia's favorite flowers are," he clarified. Amanda nodded, and figured that it was something that he had not asked either of them.

"Mine is Lilac," Caia said. She smiled at Galahad, who made a face.

"Lilac?" Nicolarious asked, his voice painted with disgust and dislike.

"Yes Nic," Caia answered, "Lilac. What is wrong with that? It is such a beautiful shade of purple and smells so wonderful. There was a whole field of it near where I lived with my mother. Do you remember Arthur?" Amanda parted her eyes from her work to look at Arthur.

"Yes," he said, his voice distant. Amanda could see a misty look in his eye, as though he were back in that very field.

"It is probably the worst flower ever, would you not agree Nic?" Galahad asked, shaking his head.

"Oh goodness," Caia said, shocked that they would dislike it, "why?"

"It makes me itch! My eyes water and my nose runs and when it grows it grows everywhere," Nic exclaimed. Caia smiled in spite of herself, and rolled her eyes.

"More for me, then," was her response.

"And what about you, Amanda?" Arthur asked. Amanda looked at him again, meeting his eyes. She was glad he had returned from whatever memory had taken him away, but she had not expected him to ask her.

"A gardenia," she answered. The answer had flowed from her mouth without a second thought to it. Ever since her room had been filled with them by Mysterious they had been her favorite. She continued to look at Arthur after she answered, even though she heard Caia 'tut' under her breath.

"What does that look like?" Nicolarious asked, and Amanda tore her eyes away from Arthur.

"It is small, and white. It resembles a rose, but it is smaller and smells much better," Amanda answered. She gave her brother a slight smile, appreciating his endless curiosity. He nodded slowly – Amanda recognized he was having difficulty envisioning what she had described. "I will show you when we have returned to the palace. There is a bush there growing in the courtyard there with them on it." He nodded at her in agreement, but exchanged some kind of meaningful glance with Galahad. The two rose from the table, and as they departed Nicolarious ran his fingers over Amanda's arm as if inviting her along. Amanda rose quietly when conversation resumed between Arthur and Caia, and followed her brother. She looked up to see he and Galahad waiting for her just beyond one of the houses built by the settlers, and she hurried to join them.

"What is this secrecy about?" she asked, not bothering to hide the concern from her voice.

"Ambrose asked us to not speak about the plans to return to the palace before he and Caia wed tomorrow," Nicolarious said cautiously, looking at Galahad. Amanda darted her eyes between the two, and at first did not want to believe that Ambrose requested such a thing.

"He does realize that Caia knows he is going to be fighting, right?" Amanda asked, a little tartly.

"Sister," Nicolarious began, his shoulders dropping some, "please do not react like this. Ambrose confided in us that Caia has been made very upset by these plans. She does agree with them, but now that she and Ambrose are to wed, she has even more fear than before. You must understand." His voice had trailed off, and Amanda was unsure as to his meaning. Was she to understand because he knew of her affections for Arthur? Or, was she to understand because, while she could not help seeing Caia as being irrational, Caia was her friend and friends must be empathized with?

After a long pause, Amanda huffed.

"This is ridiculous. I mention one thing and I am told to watch my discourse at the request of someone who is just as eager to return," she said quickly, crossing her arms over her chest. She could see Galahad and Nicolarious beginning to defend Ambrose again. "Oh, stop your fidgeting. I will cease to mention it." She had raised her voice, and though she snapped she saw relief written on their faces. Amanda was taken aback. Had she really become that tiring?

Something inside her had deflated. Her lips pursed a little and her arms fell to her sides in a defeat. She supposed that the men thanked her, and while she did not reply they parted ways. She stood there, rooted to her spot. She had realized she needed to change.

She hugged her arms around herself, turning a quarter to peer back at the table. Galahad had returned there, and Caia was laughing again. A wind picked up, and her long espresso waves flew across her face and extended with the wind. Amanda unconsciously scratched at her head and she sighed again. She turned her back on the table and kicked her out in front of her. She stocked in the opposite direction for some time until she hit the opposing tree line. It wasn't that far from the last of the homes, and it was the woods in which the Woad dwellings existed. She stared into the trees, and closed her eyes. She had done it again.

"You just need to settle your spirit," she said to herself. She knew that she was easily excited and provoked. She had trouble not defending ideas that she originated – like the retaking of the palace – when she knew others were being upset by them. She had wanted to express the foolishness of Ambrose's request, though she understood why he would want to protect the woman he loved. Amanda crossed her arms over her body, practically hugging herself. She stood at the tree line for some time, trying to analyze herself. Before she left the palace she was such a different girl. Before she had been quick to her own anger and so content with just discovering things. Before she loved Arthur her life was so much simpler.

* * *

The next morning came swiftly, and the air was buzzing with excitement. The weather had indeed held for the wedding, and Amanda left the tent for the open air once the Caretaker had finished his treatment. He had told her that she was improving greatly, and that the wounds had certainly started to heal themselves. This made her day even better.

While she still thought on what had happened the day before, and how she could make herself better for the sake of those around her, she was considerably happier. She hurried to find Caia, and discovered her friend sitting by the two streams.

"Good morning darling," she greeted as she reach the great rock Caia was sitting on. Caia looked up at her, and smiled.

"Good morning," she answered. Amanda seized the opportunity to confront her.

"Caia," she began, "I am sorry if I upset you yesterday in speaking on the plans to return to Camelot. I now realize that not all are as excited as I about the mission." She and Caia locked eyes, and Amanda let her read her. She hoped that there was only honesty on her face.

"I understand, Amanda," Caia replied, and she rested her hand over her knees, "We live our lives from such different perspectives. I know what Camelot and this mission in particular means for you, and while I do believe that we should return there, you must forgive me for not sharing excitement." Amanda seated herself beside her friend, and wrapped an arm around her back.

"I simply hope that you believe I understand your fear of losing someone. There is not a moment when I do not fear the loss of my brother or Galahad and Gawain," she said, looking out at the streams.

"And Arthur?" Caia asked, resting a hand on Amanda's.

"More than you would believe."

"Amanda," Caia began, strength returning to her voice, "I beg of you, please tell him already. I cannot stand this any longer!" Amanda laughed, and felt herself blush.

"And what about my Mysterious?" Amanda asked, teasing some. Caia scowled some, but Amanda knew she had caught her interest.

"Has he answered you in regards to your questions on the army?" Caia asked, and Amanda shook her head.

"No, not yet. I fear he is running out of things to write on!" Amanda laughed some, but she smiled, "He is quite intelligent. I am impressed." Caia stared at her, and nodded.

"He obviously cares for you," she mentioned, and Amanda nodded blankly, "but can he compare to the man that has already won your heart?" Amanda let her arm slide from Caia's back, and she pulled her legs up to her chest. How did a man she did not know compare to Arthur? She could speak to Arthur, and had on several occasions, about the topics that she spoke to the Mysterious with. He was flattering however, and Amanda enjoyed knowing that there was a man who would have her if no one else would.

"You do not think that the man writing me these notes is Gawain, do you?" Amanda asked, looking back to Caia. Caia smiled, and she thought it over.

"He does love you," Caia mentioned. Amanda nodded, but felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. "But I do not believe that he would do something like this. I would believe that he is the kind of man who would just tell you if he had affection for you. Which he did. So I would say no, darling, try another guess."

"Caia!" someone cried. The girls looked back towards the settlement, eyes narrowed and fighting the glare of the sun in order to see who the caller was.

"Oh, it's Galahad," Amanda said, staring at the man waving his hand. "I believe he wants you to go back." The two rose arm in arm, and walked back towards Galahad.

"Amanda, will you begin to have the men move the tables and chairs? I am eager to get those arrangements out of my room so that I can start to dress," Caia said, detaching herself as they neared Galahad.

"Of course," Amanda answered. She stopped when they reached him, and Galahad reached out to rub her head.

"What is it with you all and rubbing my head?" Amanda demanded, knocking his arm off.

"Do not worry, love," he said, a happy tone in his voice, "I can feel it growing back. It is softer than usual." Amanda rolled her eyes and smiled as they turned from her, and she walked away to find the others to help her.

* * *

The tables and chairs had been moved, a fire had been started for the game, and the arrangements had been placed in exact accordance to Caia's wishes. Amanda had put on a brown dress that Vanora had brought with her, and while it was big for her frame, she was glad that someone had been able to provide her something for such an occasion. Bors had helped her line the short aisle with the left over greens, and then Amanda left to see Caia.

Upon entering the place where Caia stayed, Amanda smiled at the beauty of the occasion. She could appreciate the love they both had for one another, and how they had ignored all other vanities of marriage in order to celebrate before it was too late to do so. She peered around the corner to see her friend, she was crowded by Vanora, Anys, Galahad and another woman that Amanda recognized as Sarah. She cleared her throat softly, and the attention was on her. Caia and she locked eyes, and Amanda was taken by her radiance. There was not a fleck of skin that did not beam in happiness, and Amanda was overcome by pure love for her friend.

"We are ready for you," she said quietly, and she saw Caia's eyes widen. She swallowed and rose from the seat. She closed her eyes for a moment, as if to settle herself, and stepped away from the room. She smiled brightly at Amanda, and the two walked from the place. Her green dress was magnificent, and her hair shined more than ever. Amanda was in awe that one single person could be so beautiful. She knew that Ambrose was a lucky man, and they walked in silence to the ceremony area.

"Amanda," Caia said quietly before letting her go to give the signal that all was ready, "thank you for everything that you do for me." Amanda gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and she turned away from her friend. She stood at the top of the aisle, and she saw Arthur and Ambrose take their places. Nicolarious, Gawain, and Galahad stood in the front row of chairs, and the rest of the people rose to begin the march.

For this being her second time participating in a wedding, the conditions were much more favorable. She walked up the aisle, smiling. She met Arthur's eyes and he gave her a wide smile – apparently the worries he had about presiding over such a ceremony had succumbed to joy. She took her place opposite Ambrose, and she looked up the aisle to see Caia waiting at the head. She looked even lovelier than ever, and Amanda's eyes shot to Ambrose to see his reaction. His lips were parted in a moment of disbelief, and while his face opened to a smile, his eyes became glassy. Amanda smiled at this, knowing that the two of them would be blessed with such bliss in their life. She heard Arthur shift behind her, and her eyes looked back to his. To her surprise, he was already looking at her, and she was caught off guard by his expression. She was entranced by the complete compassion on his face with which he looked at her, and she could only hope that it was intended. Amanda tore her eyes away, looking back to Caia, who was just near enough to begin handing her the bouquet she held. Amanda took it, her hands shaking. What did this mean?

The ceremony had concluded and the celebration had begun. The sun was getting lower and more fires were being built around to keep people warm. Blankets had been fetched, but the dancing, eating and merriment continued. Amanda had danced and danced until her face was red, Nicolarious and she laughing at Bors as Vanora finally brought him to the circle. When Amanda had stepped away to find something to eat, she seated herself with Gawain, Galahad and Arthur. Gawain and Galahad were laughing at Bors like she just had, and Arthur was in conversation with Kylian. Amanda helped herself to the pheasant on the table, and listened to Galahad and Gawain go back and forth.

"I would hope," said an all too familiar voice, "that it was not I who upset you." Amanda closed her eyes for a moment and then turned to face Arthur.

"When would you have upset me?" Amanda asked, smiling.

"When I joked about your hair," he said. Amanda smiled again at the thought of a crown of flowers. She shook her head at him, and then met his gaze. "Then what is making you upset?" Amanda digested the question and sighed softly.

"Nothing," she replied, and she turned away from him some. "I am very happy."

"No, no," he said softly, moving closer to her, "I no longer accept that answer. I saw the way in which you looked at Caia last night. I know that there is something upsetting you. I have never seen such an expression cross your face." Amanda waited several moments before turning back to him.

"I feel as though I am a burden," she muttered, and avoided his gaze – he knew that he would tell her she was being silly.

"For what reason?" he asked, moving closer again so that their bodies were toching. Amanda turned her body fully toward him, and she could feel the heat creeping up her neck.

"My actions and my unpredictable temper," she replied curtly. "I feel as though I force everyone to act so carefully around me because it is easier than to face my anger. I did not think that I was causing this. My friends are invaluable to me, Arthur, and to inconvenience them in such a way is unacceptable on my behalf. And no matter how long I think on this issue I cannot develop a plan that would make myself a less heated and over excitable person. But, please, this night is not about me or the problems that I am facing." Her arms fell to her side in defeat again, but she kept her face to him. She stood from the table, unable to bear the closeness he was making her feel.

"Amanda," he said after her. She hoped that he would not follow, but he did. He managed to put himself in front of her, and they stood between two fires. The shadows were beginning to show on his face.

"I can do this on my own, Arthur," she said, "I know what needs to be done." Her voice was straining to be heard above the cheer, and she could feel her face becoming deeper shades of pink.

"You do not have to do everything by yourself," he said, eyes looking earnestly to hers, "I want to help you. Though, this endeavor is a wasted one." She reached out for him, and he caught her hand so quickly it was surprising. He pulled her to him and she was enveloped in the warmth that she was longing for.

"Amanda," he said softly, his voice raw – unlike anything she had ever heard before, "you are exactly the person that you should be. There is not one flaw in your make up, and if there is it only enhances the beauty that you possess." She could feel her issues seeping from her skin and transferring to him. His shirt was coarse and unrefined, and his arms held her so gently she could do nothing but close her eyes.

Long moments passed while the two held each other before Arthur spoke again.

"You will believe me, will you not?" Arthur asked of her, tenderly. Amanda felt him pull away some, and she looked up into his brilliant green eyes. She could feel his breath on her skin, and her fingers gripped the edges of his shirt. She felt herself slipping into him again, and it was the most wonderful feeling.

"I cannot," she whispered, "I feel as though I am causing problems for everyone. I feel as though my need to change is vastly important. How can you say that I am perfect?" She furrowed her brow and she saw him smile softly.

"Because God made you his most marvelous creation," he replied softly. Amanda smiled at his smiling, and she felt her cheeks go red. Where had she heard that before? She could not focus long enough to remember. His fingers found her waist and he took a step towards her again.

"This is insanity," she said quickly, fearing the way she felt and doing something she would regret. Her heart was pounding in her throat, nervous beyond all compare. She heard these things falling from his mouth but could not bring herself to believe them. She stepped away from him some, but he caught her elbow, pulling her to his attention once more.

"What is insanity? That I am offering help to you?" he asked, an edge coming to his voice. Amanda looked at him, shaking her head.

"No, Arthur," she said, her shoulders dropping.

_Just say it!_ Amanda yelled to herself, the words dancing in her mouth like nothing else.

"Then what, Amanda?" he asked, gentler now, "You know that you can speak to me about anything. Are you afraid that I will judge you? Please, do not believe that. You must know that I would not simply tell you that you are perfect in every way if I did not think it true. Amanda, what more can I say to you?" His voice rose at the last question, and he burrowed his free hand into his hair. Amanda was confused by his frustration, and she reached out to him. She did not want to cause him aggravation.

"I am sorry, Arthur," she said softly. "I feel as though we have these conversations over and over again. There is no need for them."

"I have something that belongs to you," he said suddenly. Amanda looked at him, not in a haze of emotion but in curiosity. Arthur reached into his pocket, but refrained from pulling out whatever it was that he had.

"Now, Amanda" he began, "you must understand the debate I had with myself before I originally gave it to you. I could not be sure that it would be well received. You will have to forgive me for the mask I hid behind." Amanda furrowed her brow, and she looked him up and down. As far as she had known, Arthur had always been truthful with her.

"Arthur, what are you talking about?" she laughed some, but felt her throat knot in anticipation.

"Not to mention the secrecy I had to envelope all of this in. But, I believe you got to understand me more than any other person I have allowed, and I understand more about you than you would believe." He removed his hand from his pocket and kept his fist closed. Amanda peered at his hand, and felt the need to laugh at his actions. But, he was completely serious, as she felt she need not interrupt.

"I must say," he continued, "I am impressed with the way you have educated yourself and can express your ideas. These encounters we have had have affirmed in me that you are everything you ought to be. But, I must ask one thing of you…" his voice trailed off and he reached for Amanda's hand. She let him take it, and he opened her palm some with his fist. "Please, do not lose this again." She felt a light weight fall into her hands. It was cool, and angular at the top. It was small, and she looked in her palm. She gasped when she saw the object, and her eyes darted from his face back to her hand.

"You are everything that I could have ever wanted another person to be, and I believe that this is the exact reason you have captured my heart in such a way. I do not want you to ever let go of it. I know that you will guard it, and I can only ask that you love me the smallest amount in return," Arthur said. His voice was soft, but firm and Amanda could vaguely feel his eyes on her as she stared at the item he had returned to her.

"You…" she whispered, barely audible. She picked up the object between her index finger and thumb, her skin pressing against the metal and stone. She stared in amazement at the sapphire ring that had been her birthday gift from the Mysterious. It all rushed to her as nothing ever had before. Arthur was the man that had been writing her all this time? He was the one who had took the time to know her, challenge her, and share such intimate words with her. "What did you say?"

"That you are," Arthur repeated, walking to her and taking her in his arms, "every reason that I want to live. Oh, and I do not think that you will need to continue to call me by that ridiculous name." Amanda ripped her eyes up at him, and she took a minute to collect herself.

"It has been you? It has been you, all this time?" she asked. "You are the one that has been writing me those letters and sending me these gifts and…the gardenias?" She stared at him, and she felt happiness.

"Aye," he said softly, smiling down at her, "it has been me. I did not know how to express my feelings for you at first. I had to know if there was another you loved, or could love. And I so dearly wanted to give you things I thought you deserved. I never intended it to be such a drawn out affair, but when I felt secure behind the person you were beginning to trust, and I saw how happy the unbiased affection of a man could make you, I could not help but enjoying the warmth you radiated. I thought then, that if I could make you love this man then I could simply unveil myself and you would love me. I never knew that I would use it as a way to resolve conflict within my own being."

"Arthur," she whispered, but he put a gentle finger to her lips. He looked deeply into her eyes, and he lowered his lips down to her hand. Sparks shot through her limbs, and she needed him more in that moment that she had ever needed another person. He held her hand tightly, as if afraid she would crumble away from him.

"Please," he whispered, his sounding voice vulnerable and exposed, "Amanda, I love you more than I have ever loved another being. I cannot live without you, and I refuse to live another moment in this place where we constantly fight this feeling that we have. Please," he said again, and Amanda felt her legs quiver at his will, "tell me that you love me." She smiled so widely that she started to laugh softly. Tears welled in her eyes so quickly that she could not stop them before they started to run down her face. She nodded her head, refusing to look away from him.

"I love you, Arthur," she said softly, "I love you more than I could have ever known." Before she could count another moment, Arthur had pulled her to him and was showering her in kisses. His lips touched everywhere she could feel – her forehead and hairline, her eyes and nose and cheeks. His hands left her waist to get to her face, and she opened her eyes again to look at him. He stared into her eyes like he had before, and she let herself be washed in the love he was showing her.

"I love you," he said. She smiled and he lowered his head to hers. His lips touched hers tentatively, as if waiting her approval and shy in a way. Amanda gripped his side a little firmer, and he touched his lips to hers again, this time more strongly and then again with more depth. It was the kiss she had always dreamed of sharing with him. It filled her blood and heart with life and breath that she had lost with the death that had marked her life. All the instances of her worry, pain and heartbreak fled from her, as if chased away by the man that she had desired and cared for in this very long while.

And there they stayed, locked in the arms of the other, kissing as if time would not continue.


	37. In The Eye of the Beholder

Chapter 37: In The Eye of the Beholder

Disclaimer: Same

Note: I'm sorry. I have disappointed all of you, and I apologize for my general disregard for this story. My next shall be better, I promise.

* * *

The noise that erupted after Amanda and Arthur broke apart rivaled that of Amanda's memories. She was unsure if she had seen a group of people so happy. Or if she had ever seen a group of people descend upon her so quickly before. Suddenly, she and Arthur were driven apart by masses of men and women wishing to congratulate and share happiness with. Once Amanda had gotten past the sea of faces that she did not recognize, she finally found her brother.

"It is about time, sister," he muttered, his smile wider than she had seen in so long. She laughed, and threw her arms around him.

"Oh, Nicolarious," she said, "you are right, if only I had listened to you so long ago. I feel so incredible now that my biggest secret is out in the open."

"No," said Nicolarious with a grin, "you feel so incredible because now you know that Arthur loves you in return." He and Amanda laughed and wandered their way back to the table. Caia beamed at her from across the wood, and Amanda fell a little.

"Caia, I'm so sorry to steal this moment away from you. I did not intend for that to happen," Amanda said, reaching for Caia's hand.

"Amanda! You have to be fooling with me! I could care less if it was the middle of my ceremony. We have all been waiting far too long for you and Arthur to get to this moment," Caia cried, and Amanda laughed again. She was being foolish – even if Caia was cross Amanda would not escape these feelings of elation. She looked back over her shoulder to see a swarm of people still around Arthur, including his ever faithful knights.

Looking back at her, not much to her surprise, was Gawain. Amanda nodded to him, and he bowed his head in return. Somewhere in the lower depths of her soul a small pang went off for Gawain. He would have made an excellent partner for her, and if Arthur had not been the first to capture her heart, she would regret losing Gawain to another woman. But, in the moment, that pang was muffled by the butterflies still flitting in her stomach and the heat still radiating off of her face.

* * *

The night had passed with no more surprises, and all left the embers of the fires with happy memories. Despite the multitude of misfortune that had found these people, they remained thankful and let joy come quickly to them.

Amanda awoke in Caia's small hut, as she was no longer using it, with sleep heavy in her eyes. She felt it was late, and struggled to unravel herself from the furs and blankets that had been piled on top of her. As she stood, her back seared with pain.

"Shit," she said softly to herself. She hoped she had not injured herself too badly, and she feared what the Caretaker would say. Walking slowly, she stole one of the blankets from the cot and wrapped it tightly around herself. The bitter air had returned, and there was some dense moisture in it. Her spine tingled as she stepped out of the hut, and went to the fire pit. From the distance, she could see Galahad and Bors resting at one of the tables left out from the night before. She smiled in their direction, and was greeted with drowsy waves.

"Good morning!" someone called. Turning, she saw Arthur jogging towards her and she smiled brightly.

"And good morning to you, my good sir," she said as he drew closer. He stopped before her, and smiled. She shuffled somewhat awkwardly, and looked up at him. He seemed unsure of himself. Had the night before happened? Amanda squeezed her hand to feel the band of the ring he returned to her – it had indeed happened.

"Did you sleep well?" Arthur asked, and Amanda exhaled.

"Yes, very well, thank you. My back is very sore this morning, however," Amanda replied, and smiled again.

"Oh! I should fetch the Caretaker," Arthur said, and turned away. Amanda quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"No," she said, "not yet. Please." Arthur turned back to her, and smiled easily. He removed her hand from his wrist and touched it to his face.

"Why ever not?" he asked. Amanda saw the glint of amusement in his eye, and smirked.

"Perhaps I'd like to spend some time with Bors before he goes off to hunt," she said, and turned back towards the table.

"Why you sly little thing," Arthur whispered, and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Amanda's eyes closed in his warmth, and pressed against him.

"I thought you would like that answer," she said, and she felt his fingers press as a response. "Have you laid eyes on Caia or Ambrose yet?"

"No," he said softly, "I have not seen them since last night. I would like them to have as much time as possible together before we march on Camelot." Amanda held her surprise.

"You have set a date?" she asked, resting her open hand against his on her stomach.

"Yes," Arthur replied after a pause, "we have discussed it in all entirety and have decided that in two days we will go back to the Wall."

_Two days? No, _Amanda thought, panic spreading over her body, _that's too soon!_ She broke from Arthur's grasp suddenly and turned, staring at him.

"T-two days?" she asked, her stammer giving away her surprise.

"Yes," Arthur said blankly, "I had thought you would be excited."

"Of course I am!" Amanda said, feigning joy, "I am just surprised that the day is so soon." She looked away from his face, at the ground and the sky, her eyes following her scattered thoughts.

"You look terrified," Arthur whispered, placing his hands on the small of her back and looking down at her. She took a moment to compose herself and her thoughts, and then looked up at him. His green eyes where shining with joy and something that looked similar to pride. She could not help but smile as his every pore emanated love for her. It was a mystery she had never seen this before.

"Arthur, you should know how excited I am to take back our home," she began, and she saw him smile some.

"But," he said, understanding her patterns.

"But," she said, rolling her eyes at his jest, "I have even more to be afraid of losing, now." She reached up timidly and ran her fingers through his curls, smiling into his eyes.

"Darling," he said, his voice pure and soft that she felt her knees give some, "you have no need to fear of losing Nicolarious or I. You said yourself your plan would significantly reduce the lives even put in peril, let alone the number of people lost."

"But it is my men that will be doing all the fighting," Amanda said. She took in a breath and looked away from him, "Arthur, I cannot let Gurshion or any other one of his followers take another of my loved ones. You and Nicolarious are all I have left in my heart – and you I have waited so very long for. I want to go back to Camelot, and I want to go in two days, just understand that I do not believe I will last another day should one of you die."

After another long pause, Arthur placed his thumb and finger on Amanda's chin as he had done countless times before. He pulled her face back to his, and had an understanding expression. She peered up into his eyes and waited to hear his words.

"Amanda," he said, "I believe now you understand why, after all these years, I have not wanted you to fight." Amanda laughed, and tugged playfully on a curl. "This time I am asking you to fight with us." His words rung in her ears like nothing before, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"I do not even have to argue with you about it?" Amanda asked. To her surprise, Arthur let out a great laugh, his face lifting to the sky and his arms shook.

"No my dear, you do not have to argue with me over it," he said, smiling, "In fact, I'd prefer if you kept an eye on your brother."

"Are you worried about him?" Amanda asked. Arthur dropped his hands away from her body, and turned to her side. He held out his arm for her to take, and Amanda latched herself to his forearm.

"No," he answered, leading her towards the table where Bors and Galahad were still sitting. "I am no worried about him in the least. He has the makings of a very skilled fighter. But, he is at an age where he is eager to take on new challenges. I would hate for him to take off more than he can chew." Amanda nodded in contemplation, and had been expecting this of her brother for some time. He was growing so quickly, and was always destined to be a fighter. Their father had been teaching him since a very young age.

"I would be happy to fight with you," Amanda said, honestly. "However, I am unsure of how capable I will be while my back is in this current condition. The Caretaker says that it is healing, but I know that I will not be at a full mobility." It was Arthur's turn to nod in contemplation. As they reached the table and Amanda took her seat, she watched Arthur considering what she had said. She did not care if it made him change his mind – she was going to fight at the wall even if she was fighting him. He had asked her to and she was going to. Jols brought she and Arthur food, and still Arthur had not said anything. Bors and Galahad looked from Arthur to Amanda expectantly, wondering who would be the first to utter a word.

"Not fighting already, are you two?" Bors asked cautiously, and Amanda laughed.

"No," she said, smiling and lifting the bowl to her face, "we were just talking. Did you both have a good time last night?"

* * *

Gurshion paced the length of the Great Hall. What was to become of this palace? Of all the time he had spent devising plans to capture it his desire for it had faded away. He was left with weak and dying slaves, and a force of men that were grubby and not fit to do anything but fight.

He had realized some time ago that the walls of Camelot alone were not what he desired. Unfortunately, he was not in a position to admit that he was wrong in storming the castle. Of course, he had not planned on all of the people escaping.

How had they gotten away? What was behind the door that Gurshion could not unlock? Where did that path go?

He turned and walked back up the Great Hall. He had defeated the great King Arthur! Why was no one here that cared? Why did no one revere him? Why were there no people seeking shelter under his great roof, in his great Camelot?

"Why does no one answer to me?" Gurshion cried, falling to his knees and screaming at the ceiling. His fingers clawed mindlessly at the stone floor, and he looked up at the tapestry hanging from the wall. The woman depicted in it was a woman he had hated for quite some time.

There, in the green border of the cloth were the cold and calculating eyes of Queen Guinevere. Gurshion rose from his knees and turned his body to face her. She stood as statues, depicted standing in the wood, her fingers gripping her bow and an arrow.

"Why do you mock me, you trollop?" Gurshion hissed. There was no answer. He turned his back on her, and stared at the empty space. When she had died Arthur had continued to possess her spirit for questioning, to be constantly improving. As if he had not answered enough of her questions while she had been alive! He spun back on her, walking closer yet again. Her grey irises stared down at him in disgust and loathing.

"No, Guinevere, you never trusted me. I could fool the great King of Briton as you could with his heart, but I could never manage to ensnare you. I could never win you over, and your words echoed in his late majesty's head 'til the day he cast me out!" Gurshion yelled, spit flying from his lips. There was no answer.

He growled, low in his throat, but dared not go any closer to her image.

"Why must you continue to torment me?" he shouted, his arms encircling his head as he fell to the stone floor in a great heap. His body shook and convulsed with anger.

There was no answer.

* * *

After returning Vanora's dress and having her back dressed by the Caretaker, Amanda finally laid her eyes upon Caia and Ambrose. She hurried over to them as they were heading to Arthur's tent, and bid the newlyweds a good day.

"Amanda!" Caia cried, and threw her arms around her friend. Her body was warm, and when she let go her face was flushed. Amanda smiled, and laughed on the inside. Ambrose reached up and rubbed her head, and bid her a good day.

"How are you both feeling?" Amanda asked. She was met with giggles.

"Did you enjoy yourself last night?" Ambrose asked, his ocean eyes sparkling. Amanda laughed.

"I should think you know the answer to that, my dear," Amanda answered, sticking her tongue out at him. Ambrose laughed, the sound vaguely like his cousins. Caia grasped her hand and continued on her journey.

"Really, Caia," Amanda continued, "I had a splendid time. It was the best wedding I've ever been to." Caia seemed flattered.

"And how many is that, exactly?" Ambrose asked. Amanda laughed.

"It was my second!" The three laughed, and as they reached Arthur's tent, they were nearly bowled over by a departing Gawain.

"Out of my way!" he bellowed, and Amanda was cast apart from the couple. She stumbled and nearly fell to the ground, but not before letting out a small yelp of surprise. She looked back as Gawain's figure continued to storm away, not bothered in the slightest as to her wellbeing. Amanda was confounded, and she looked to Caia.

"I wonder what has gotten in to him," Caia said, reaching for Amanda's hand and setting her right. Amanda looked after Gawain's trail once more, and then looked at Arthur's tent entrance.

"If you two would not mind, I will excuse myself here," Amanda muttered, and walked into the tent. She looked around the area, her eyes falling on Gawain and Galahad's empty beds, and then Arthur's empty seats. She looked to his bed and found him standing, staring down at the foot of it.

"Arthur?" she asked, softly. Arthur lifted his head and looked at her. His eyes softened some, and turned towards her.

"Yes?" he asked. Amanda blinked a few times, surprised at how calm he was.

"Are you well?" she asked, cautiously. She did not want to set him in anger. He looked once more at the bed, and then turned back to her. He took a few steps, and then smiled some.

"Yes, I am fine. Are you all right?" He asked, his eyes scanning over her face for any hint of concern.

"Yes, I am fine. I was nearly tumbled to the ground by Gawain just there – did the two of you argue again?" Arthur furrowed his brow, and then looked past her shoulder to the door. A dark cloud passed over his face, and his hand rested on Amanda's shoulder.

"Ah, well," Arthur began, looking back to Amanda, "I am afraid there is a problem. Gawain came in to explain it to me, and he and I did have a minor disagreement." Amanda looked up at him, and felt very confused.

"Arthur, the reaction Gawain just had did not seem caused by a _minor_ disagreement. What is the problem? Has something happened? Has someone been hurt?" Amanda asked. She had been hoping for all things to go well before they departed for Camelot. Arthur turned away from her, and she reached for his hand. She was only able to catch his ring and little finger, and he looked back at her. She walked to him, and sat at the edge of his bed. Tugging lightly on his arm, he sat down next to her. She placed his arm in her lap, and pushed up his sleeve in order to stroke his forearm.

"Please," she said, "tell me what is going on." Arthur studied her for a moment, and then sighed softly.

"Amanda," he began, "I should like to ask you for your understanding while I explain what has happened." Amanda nodded in understanding, and forced herself to open her mind. There were not many things that Arthur could say that would incur her anger this day. "For some time, before you were gone for all those months, but particularly during those months, I had," he paused, as if searching for words. Amanda listened patiently, her nails dragging over his skin, making small paths.

"You have to understand," Arthur said, his voice rising in volume, "as a man there are certain things that I need. You know that I have loved you for quite some time now, but there were moments when I was very weak." Amanda bowed her head in understanding, and smiled. She chuckled softly before lifting her head again to Arthur. "Amanda," he began, "I am so sorry, but you must not think bad of me. I did not know that she would – you are laughing. Why are you laughing?"

"Arthur," Amanda answered, patting his arm, "you do not need to explain to me any further. I understand. I understand that men need women, and that there are times when you need women in more than one way. I do not think badly of you." Her mind filed through the women that are close enough in Arthur's life to be the one he would turn to for a sexual release. She gasped, softly.

"What?" he asked, and Amanda stared at him.

"Arthur," she said, "the girl, the young girl who I saw lurking in your tent that one day. The day that I told you my plan, what is her name?" Arthur swallowed.

"Sarah," he said, softly. Amanda looked at him, and his eyes dropped.

"Oh Arthur," Amanda said, "she is so young. Something has happened to her?" Arthur stared away from Amanda for several moments, and the entire tent was silent as the grave.

"Nothing, that Gawain or I know of, has happened to Sarah. Though," Arthur continued, "I imagine terrible things lie ahead of her and she is walking willingly towards it." Amanda furrowed her brow, shaking her head in confusion.

"What would she possibly do?" Amanda asked, and Arthur sighed. He looked Amanda in the eye, and there was fear there.

"She has left the camp," Arthur said. Amanda tilted her head, asking for further clarification, "she has left the camp to tell Gurshion of our attack."

* * *

Amanda had fled from the tent much like Gawain had, only without harming any passersby. She saw Gawain's looming figure standing a ways back from the nights fire, and she made a war path to him. He saw her coming and made no means to leave her line of sight.

"Coming to me, now that you have seen what kind of man Arthur Castus is?" he said, his voice dripping with disdain. Amanda was shocked.

"How dare you talk about your friend in such a way. I do not care what transpired between Arthur and any woman before. I am not a fool, Gawain, I understand men," she said, rather viciously. "What I want to know is how you found out."

Gawain smirked, "What? Arthur did not share with you all of his knowledge?" Anger welled in Amanda's chest – a more intense anger than she had felt in a long while.

"What is your god damn problem, Gawain?" Amanda yelled, her eyes burning with passion. "I suggest you tell me the answer to my question before I strip you bare for all to see." Gawain leaned forward, anger written on his face.

"It is none of your fucking business, Amanda!" Gawain yelled. Amanda shook her head, and sneered in disgust. She turned away and it was only with luck that she heard Gawain mutter: "You common place little harlot." Amanda stopped dead, her hands shaking in pure fury.

"What did you just say, boy?" asked Bors, who did not need clarification but verification that Gawain would say such a thing to a woman he cared for so deeply. Amanda clenched her fists and took a deep breath before turning , her pride wounded and her fury at a great height.

"I am sorry," she said quietly though all ears we tuned to her voice, "that you think those things of me. I did not realize that you were bedding Arthur's sloppy seconds. But," Amanda continued, verbal daggers pointing to his very soul, "I suppose that is your fate! I am severely disappointed in you, Gawain. Not in that you insist on hurting me, or calling me names that shall ring in my ears until the end of my days, but in that you have successfully let this girl go on a death mission to Gurshion himself!" She cried out Gurshion's name, and the crowd around her gasped. "Tell me Gawain, did you nod and agree when she confided in you that she was going to go to Gurshion and expose our plans? Tell me, was it before or after she came to suck your cock?"

"Amanda," she heard Nicolarious whisper, but she put up her hand.

"No!" she cried, "I want everyone here to see the things that have crossed between you and I, Gawain. Never in my heart have I held such love for a man that was not of my own blood. And never, in my life, have I been so crushed by ones actions." She stared at him, and could see the color gone from his face. Her skin was hot and her breaths were shallow.

"Perhaps then," Gawain retorted, in a calm voice that Amanda could hear fracturing, "_you_ should have been the one to suck my cock." Amanda's mouth fell open and at that the other Knights and Nicolarious stood around her. Again, Amanda held up her arm and stepped to Gawain again. Then, with one swift move, her palm struck across his face with a resounding slap. Gawain jolted, and grabbed her wrist. There he held her in a heated stare down. Only after several tense moments did Amanda open her mouth.

"Would you like to know why she told you her plans, Gawain?" Amanda hissed. Gawain threw her wrist aside and turned his back. Immediately, Amanda continued "She told you in hopes that you would go after her." Gawain stopped to listen. "She told you because she wants to believe that you care about her. That you, a Knight of the Round Table, would have enough time to think and care for her, and that you would miss her. That you would see her for a person worthy of worry, and go save her from the certain peril she is fated. She will die with her worst fear being a reality – that she meant nothing to no man."

Gawain continued off, and Amanda hung her head in defeat.

"Amanda," said the soft voice of her brother.

"Yes darling?" she asked.

"He is very much broken hearted," Nicolarious said. Amanda looked at him, and reached out to touch his face.

"Yes," Amanda answered, "I know. But, there is no way for me to fix it. I am not sure if there is a way for me to fix this situation, let alone Gawain's problems." Nicolarious slung his arm around her shoulders, and together they watched Gawain disappear into the night.

* * *

Amanda awoke before the sun. She pulled on her leggings and boots and wandered outside. She ran her fingers over her head – her hair had grown in quite a bit since she had left Camelot. The ends were beginning to curl and she knew she would look very silly in a month or two. She stood in the spot where she had the night before. The things that she said to Gawain were unacceptable by a measure of friendship, but she did not feel guilty in a manner of an argument. What he had said to her was uncalled for, as was his entire attitude.

"I am sorry," said a voice from behind her. Amanda spun quickly to see Gawain there, watching her intently.

"Gawain-" Amanda began, but he stopped her.

"Amanda," he said, "please let me say this much. I did not mean to hurt Sarah. I did not mean to hurt you, or Arthur. Arthur is one of my oldest friends." Gawain walked towards her, and gave her a somewhat charming half smile. "And while he may have won the woman I love, there is no man that deserves you more. What had put me into such anger yesterday was that Arthur had Sarah while claiming his love for you. I do not understand how a man can say he loves one woman, but uses another to satisfy himself. And for this woman that I was developing a relationship with to still be so consumed with his doings that I could not stand it!"

"I understand," Amanda said, going to her friend and throwing her arms around him. She felt Gawain cling to her in his brief moment, and kiss the top of her head.

"When I discovered that she was gone all I could blame was Arthur. I had never given thought to what she would want or need from me until you said them to me last night," Gawain said. Amanda could not help but laugh.

"Of course you did not, Gawain," she said, looking up at him. "A woman never wants a man to know that she _wants_ you to save her. She just leaves and hopes that you come after her. A girl like Sarah, in particular, desperately needs someone to go after here, Gawain." He nodded vigorously, and ran his fingers over Amanda's cheek.

"Forgive me? I feel as though you and I should never fight again," Gawain said.

"You should forgive me," Amanda said, "I spoke such unkind words to you." Gawain smiled and Amanda knew all was well between them once more.

"However," Gawain said, "I fear I am running your matchmaking game." Amanda laughed, and was thankful that the morn had not broken to reveal her blush.

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"Well," Gawain said, "I am certain that you intended Sarah for Galahad." Amanda laughed.

"Oh Gawain, no! I had no intentions for Sarah. The only people I should like to see together are Galahad and Anys. Do you not think that would be a lovely couple?" Gawain laughed in response, and the two were greeted by Arthur.

"Arthur," Amanda said, cheerily, "you are awake!" She left Gawain's arm to go to Arthur, and she felt him clutch her hand.

"Yes," he said, "Gawain, would you sound the bell. I am afraid we will have to leave right away in order to try and find Sarah. We shall have to get to Gurshion swifter than planned. I am afraid that we will have to take far less people than we had hoped for."

"To Camelot," Gawain said, and ran off.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this.


	38. Sweet Sounds

Chapter 38: Sweet Sounds

Disclaimer: Same

Note: Almost over, everyone.

* * *

When the Knights and company had mounted the horses given to them by the Woads and strapped on their swords the sun had risen and the settlement was staring up at them. The sea of mostly women and children looked expectantly up at them, and Amanda could not help but feel somewhat uneasy. The terrible things had not stopped running through her head yet, and she needed them to be silent if she was going contribute as much as she could to this mission. Beside her was her brother, and on the other side was Galahad. Her eyes expressed her uneasiness to him, and he nodded.

Jols was to lead the people back to the palace, and the Woads were to escort them through the wood. There was no other plan. If they were defeated by Gurshion and his men, then the people would walk straight into Camelot with no one to protect them. Amanda was sure of herself in making this plan, but as her eyes flitted over her brother, to Arthur, and back to her brother, things looked less and less positive. Amanda spurred her horse some, and trotted to the top of the hill they settled at the base of. There was a fog lifting from the trees as the sun that was shining felt finally warm. She stared in the direction of the palace, and though she could not see it from this hill top she could feel it beckoning to her. Calling her back. She shifted in the makeshift saddle to look back at the men she had so grown to love, and smiled.

Even if this was their last day, she would have it no other way.

Arthur mounted his horse and galloped up the hill. He stopped at Amanda for a moment as the others rushed past, and he smiled at her.

"I know you can beat me on foot," he said, sensing her worry, "but can you beat me on horse?" He sped off, and Amanda laughed.

* * *

Tears filled her eyes as she neared the gates of the wall. She looked up at the guards peering down at her, and cast her eyes away quickly. She took in a shaky breath, and tried to calm her. She had been certain that Gawain would come after her. He had touched her so gently; he had kissed her so tenderly.

She walked carefully up the path and walked towards the palace. Her arms shook around the small sack of things she had brought with her, and her eyes flashed from person to person.

"You there," called one guard from the door, "state your business!"

"I have come to see Gurshion," she said, her voice trembling and heart racing.

"Speak up girl, no one can hear you!" said the guard again, his voice testy.

"I-I-" she stammered, realizing now that she had made a mistake. What had she done? She did not want to hurt any of the people that had been at the settlement. She should not have come here. Her heart beat was in her throat and her fingers could not dig any further into the sack. If only Amanda Marslyn could keep her fingers out of every one else's lives then Sarah would be able to be with Gawain and have his mind on her as well.

_Hell_, she thought, _I could even be with Arthur if it had not been for her return._ Sarah shut her eyes, and cleared her throat.

"I am here to see the one they call Gurshion," she stated loudly, marching up the stairs. "I have important information for him."

* * *

The horses and their riders dashed over the small paths to reach the palace. Amanda had not realized that a network of makeshift roads had come this far. From time to time, she would hear a great cry from the trees nearby, or catch a fleeting glimpse of a blue warrior. She had never been so thankful for an alliance. Merlin truly outdid himself.

When the company had stopped to give the horses a breather, Amanda was relieved. Her back was in great pain, and she desperately needed the Caretaker. Unfortunately, he had not come along. When she had dismounted, she searched frantically for Galahad or Gawain. She did not want Arthur to know she was in pain, but she needed someone to help her. Spotting Galahad near Arthur, Amanda ducked behind a horse and hissed loudly, hoping to get Galahad's attention.

"Galahad," she exhaled, her eyes peeking over the top of the horse. The horse whinnied in awkwardness. Galahad failed to hear her, and she snapped her fingers. The horse looked back at her, and Amanda stared at it.

"Sorry," she muttered to the beast, and she slid away from it. Arthur turned his back, and Amanda lunged forward to grab Galahad's hand. He stumbled in her wake, and started to laugh.

"Amanda," Galahad asked, "what is the matter?" Amanda hushed him, and led him back to her horse.

"Galahad," she whispered, "I need you to help me." She looked back at him and opened her bag that hung on her horse. His eyes scanned her body, turning to concern.

"Your back-" he began, and Amanda nodded.

"I am in a lot of pain," she said, taking her horses rope reins and pulling it down off the path some. Just as she was about to lift her shirt off, Gawain neared her horse.

"Amanda," he said cautiously, "Galahad, what is going on?" Amanda looked at him and rolled her eyes. She marched over to him and grabbed his hand.

"You," she said, placing him in front of her horse, "stand her and make sure no one can see me. Galahad has to fix my dressings. Now, Galahad, this bottle of serum is all I have. I need you to rub it into my skin around the lashes, not directly on. I do not have much time for it to dry so, for now, just rub it on my skin and hopefully that shall numb the pain."

Once again Amanda lifted her tunic and she faced the horse. Galahad carefully pulled down the dressings and the cool air hit her skin. She gripped the back of Gawain's shirt as not to make a sound, and resisted writhing in pain. Shutting her eyes and trying to relax herself, the numbing effect of the serum started to take hold and she felt better.

"Is everything all right?" someone asked. Amanda's head shot up, and she knew what was about to happen. Galahad blew on the serum to speed up the process, and he pushed her dressings back into place. Yanking down her tunic, Amanda stepped out from behind her horse and faced Kylian.

"Yes," Gawain answered, a little shortly.

"Gawain," Amanda scolded, desperately wanting for everything to continue smoothly, "that is not very kind of you. Yes, Kylian, everything is fine. Galahad was just checking on my back, to make sure everything was sitting correctly." Amanda never minded lying to Kylian, he was so sweet. And she did not need him mentioning to Arthur that she was unwell.

"Ah," he replied, still eyeing Amanda curiously, "and is everything," he paused, "well?" Amanda smiled reassuringly and nodded.

"Yes," she said, "thank you for asking." Kylian nodded and turned away, looking over his shoulder once. Amanda stood, a stupid grin still plastered on her face, trying to act as friendly and normal as possible.

"Good grief," said Galahad, "if you smile any wider your head might split open." Amanda lost her smile and stared at him. She did not reply, but gave him a swift swat on the arm.

"I do not want Arthur to know," she said, walking back down to her horse. She felt Gawain's eyes on her, and she tried to avoid him.

"Amanda," he began, "you understand that Arthur would want to know about this." Amanda dropped her head some, and then sighed.

"He will know," she answered, "as soon as this day is over, regardless the outcome."

"You are terrified," Gawain whispered, stepping close to her. Amanda looked up at him, and smiled weakly.

"I do not know what I shall do if one of you dies," she said, softly.

"You mean Nic," Gawain asked, "or Arthur?" Amanda smiled again, and touched his wrist.

"Or Galahad, or Bors," she clarified, "or you." Gawain cleared his throat, and straightened his shoulders.

"You would not be upset if I die today," he said, looking away from her. Amanda laughed at him, and shook his arm.

"Are you thick?" she asked, looking up at him. He scowled down at her. "That's right, you aren't, so why on Earth would you believe that I would not be terribly sad if you died? Not just today, but ever? Do I need to explain my love for you yet again?" He shuffled, and looked down, like a child who had been scolded.

"I suppose I keep saying to myself that even if you say such things, they cannot be true. I only know one kind of love," he answered, even though he was lying to her.

"I do not believe you Gawain," she retorted, and took her hands off of him. "You know that you have secured an ever lasting place in my heart, and I shan't remove you, despite what you believe." She looked away, but saw him smile at her out of the corner of her eye. He placed a hand on top of her head, and tugged once on one of the curls beginning to grow out and then walked away.

Amanda remounted her house, and though her back was numb, she knew she would be in a great deal of pain later. She trotted her horse to Arthur's side, and he looked up at her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked his eyes concerned. Amanda smiled.

"Never better," she lied. He smirked, and placed a hand on her knee.

"I do not believe that," he said, his thumb pressing into her skin. She smiled wider, looking down at him. She put her hand into his hair and quirked a brow.

"Oh really? Then, pray tell, name a time and place when I have been better," she challenged. He smiled, somewhat mischievously, and slid his hand further up her leg.

"I would wager you were better at the wedding, right as my lips reached yours," he said. Amanda laughed out loud at his audacity, and ruffled his hair.

"A secret time will never tell," she retorted. "We should move on, Sarah will have reached him by now." Arthur cleared his throat, and looked at the men around him. He slung himself back onto his horse, and others followed suit. Arthur's horse spun around excitedly, and Arthur looked at Amanda. She smiled, and nodded, and he smiled back at her. He spurred on his horse, and Amanda bucked hers. Again, the company was off. Amanda watched as Arthur's great body moved back and forth in a fluid motion with his stead. She bent low on her horse, gripping the rope of the rein tightly. She closed her eyes for a moment, the wind whipping at her fair skin and clothes. The path widened, and Amanda was reminded of the day she first met Arthur and his Knights. The area seemed familiar, but she could not be sure. She did not know where they were, or how close they were to the palace. The only thing she knew was that her heart was racing and her bones felt that home was closer than she wanted to admit.

* * *

Night had fallen by the time the company reached the edge of the wall, about a mile east of the gate. They had left their horses at the base that the Woads had constructed in the wood over the hill. Arthur had discussed with them for about an hour in regards to what needed to happen, and what their tasks were as a force. Amanda had not foreseen a use for them in this endeavor, but was now thankful to have support. Should something go wrong she would need to turn to them for aid. Nicolarious had been placed in charge of the Woads, and was to watch for the signals coming from the palace. Ambrose elected to stay with the boy, and allow Amanda to go in the palace with Jols.

Standing at the edge of the wall, the company paused before they were to break off in their separate parties. Bors and Galahad had manages to get open an old entrance used when the Roman infantry still slept in the wall, and the party moved into the dank space. Amanda was confronted with a torch, and then with Galahad. She, Arthur, Kylian and Jols were to head into the palace, while Bors, Gawain and Galahad were to cross the town into the back part of the castle. Inside, Amanda and Jols would separate from Arthur and Kylian – Amanda and Jols to find Marc and release the prisoners, Arthur and Kylian to find Gurshion. The other Knights were to challenge the guards, and meet with Amanda and Jols later, in order to make as much chaos as possible. The Woads were to steal some of the stone from the Wall and send them flying into open areas in order to create more of an illusion.

"Remember," Arthur said, standing at the center of the group, speaking to the Knights, "the guards will have been alerted and will be waiting to find you. Be swift, be safe." They nodded to their king, and Amanda locked eyes with Gawain. He stepped to her, his eyes intent.

"If you see her," he whispered, "tell her I am coming for her." Amanda nodded, and gripped his upper arm.

"Find her," Amanda whispered. Gawain half-smiled, and left her side. Amanda and looked at Galahad, and he blew her a kiss.

"C'mon you twat," Bors muttered, prodding Galahad in the back. Amanda laughed softly, and watched them leave. She saw their torch be dosed out and their footsteps faded away. She inhaled, and assured herself that they would be safe. She returned her attention to Arthur, and the other men. He cleared his throat, and looked them all in the eye.

"Now," he said, "when we get in there, we will arrive at a turn in the hall where we will separate. Amanda, Jols – " he began, but Amanda stopped him.

"Arthur," she interrupted, "we know." He nodded curtly, and turned to Jols.

"Give the signal," he said, and Jols scampered away. Arthur shot a look to Kylian, who was suddenly diverted by something on the wall a step away. Amanda smiled at the fake privacy, and then looked to Arthur.

"You are going to be fine," he said, and Amanda nodded. She looked up at him intently, and studied her face. He touched her cheek, and she felt her throat quiver in emotion. "You also know every line of my face, darling, so studying it now will do you no good."

"I'm sorry," she murmured, amazed that he understood.

"Do not say that," he said, kissing her forehead, "meet me at the top of the wall when it is all over. Where you once walked in on Evelina and I in an embrace, where I stood and told the people that you were not a murderer, and where I stood, three years ago, watching you ride off away from me." Amanda looked up at him still, her throat too knotted to answer. All she could do was nod.

"They have been signaled," Jols reported, returning to Arthur's side. Arthur struggled to take his eyes off of her beautiful face, but he managed.

"Let us go, then," he said. And they were off.

They travelled through the abandoned corridors of the old barracks. Amanda was amazed at the things she raced passed, and promised herself to come explore this space when this night had ended. Suddenly, there was a great crash and rumble somewhere ahead, and Amanda felt the ground shake beneath her.

"The Woads!" Kylian yelled as they continued to jog through the path, Amanda following the torch Arthur held above his head. The hall ended at a wooden door. The group paused, their breath short. Amanda could hear yelling from the other side as guards and Gurshion's henchmen raced to where the Woads were attacking. Arthur unsheathed his sword, and the others followed suit. Amanda held the one that had been lent to her at the ready, wondering where the ones the Knights had bestowed her had gotten off to. She remembered having it in the Keep when Gurshion found her, but had no idea what had become of it. Arthur must have heard a pause of silence, because at that moment he opened the door and the hall behind it was empty. He sped off to the left, and Amanda slammed to door behind her. She looked behind her as they began to stalk forward, but she knew no one would be near. There was another great crash in the distance, and she could hear faint cries of men. Up ahead was the turn she and Jols were to take. The place was clear and each party needed to take the opportunity to continue ahead. Amanda looked at Arthur as he nodded forward, and they increased their pace. As the turn neared, Amanda looked Arthur in the eye and could only manage one word to him before they parted.

"Love," she breathed. He smiled brilliantly at her before his face was gone behind stone.

* * *

Gurshion stood in the center of the Great Hall. There was another crash that echoed through the room. He did not flinch or shake or tremble. This was all very expected. He was confused as to where Arthur had found the resources and men to stage such an attack upon them. Sarah had not told him that anything like this would be happening.

"You have no idea as to how Arthur obtained all of these men?" he repeated himself, looking at a cowering Sarah. She shook her head vehemently, and he neared her.

"Should I discover you are lying to me," he said threateningly, "I shall slit your throat myself." Her brown eyes looked up into his face, and he basked in the complete fear he saw there.

"Now you hear me," she began, her voice weak and unsure, "I am the one who came to you with valuable information. I expect you to t-t-treat me acc-c-cordingly." Gushion let out a hearty laugh, making a fist and slamming it down upon the wooden table she sat at.

"I may treat you however I desire," he hissed, brow furrowing and looking at her. "Should things go in any other way than mine, I promise you, dear Sarah, this will be your last day." He put a hand to her face, gently stroking behind her ear in her straight, pale brown hair.

"You are well prepared against them," she managed to mutter, and Gurshion smiled sickeningly.

"That is right," he cooed, feeling her trembling skin. He clenched the back of her neck, grimy nails digging into her soft and tender skin. Her eyes widened in pain and her shoulders lifted in an attempt to free herself from his grip.

Suddenly, breaking his focus from her, he heard a strange sound. There was a loud and metallic scraping against stone somewhere, and his ears rang in pain. It was far too close to be from outside. Rushing to the end of the hall, he opened one of the great doors and peered out. His mouth opened in disbelief at what he saw there. Slashing a shield and sword against the stone were three of his guards, and just as he readied his voice to yell, another guard of his ran forward, sword held high to strike them. The three separated and took their weapons against the first. The Gurshion faithful fell to ground quicker than he had begun, spear through the chest. The three making the racket cheered. Gurshion slammed the great door shut.

_He has turned my own men against me!_ He thought in panic, and his eyes scanned the room for things to block the doors.

* * *

Amanda and Jols stood a corridor away from their destination, surveying the area before the doors. There were three guards posted at the kitchen doors, as she had always remembered there being. Clearly, Gawain and Galahad were not able to reach all of the men Gurshion had under his control. She looked at Jols, whose face was fixed in a dark character.

"I am unable to tell if one of the men standing at the door is Darius, a guard whom I trust and helped me while I was here," she said. Peeking around the corner again, Amanda tried to think of a plan to lure them away from the door.

"Amanda," Jols said, and Amanda turned swiftly. She had never heard Jols use her name before, "perhaps we make some noise?" He smiled rather cheerfully, and Amanda chuckled.

"Yes Jols," she said, "that shall do just fine." Removing the pack from his bag, Jols took out the metal utensils he used to cook with.

"Do you carry these everywhere you travel, Jols?" Amanda asked, surprised and amused. Jols looked up at her as if her question was unusal.

"Yes," he answered slowly. Amanda picked up two small tin cups, and began banging them against the wall. Jols clashed his sword against a pan, and Amanda let out a cry. "I am going to slay Gurshion the Terrible! Stop me if you can, you swine!" She heard sets of footsteps coming up the hall and she quickly dropped her cups to ready herself. As the guards came around the corner, Jols jumped up from a crouched position, slamming his sword into the stomach of one of the unseeing guards. Amanda faced the second after they both paused in amazement of Jols motions, and entered a fight. His shield protected much of his vulnerable spots, and Amanda tried to bash it away from him. Her lack of brute strength worked against her, and the guard could see that she was weak.

"You have a choice," Amanda said, opting for reason and logic as they circled around each other.

"And what is that?" the man asked, his accent Irish. Amanda stared into his eyes that peered above the top of his shield.

"You can face my sword," she said, "or you can let my companion and I into that kitchen to free those slaves. You can run from this place back to your home and no one will know the better." She saw the guards brow furrow, but he kept his shield and sword high.

"And why should I believe you?" he asked. Amanda smiled.

"I am here to see Gurshion die, and no one else. You can go and have nothing to do with this place ever again. Despite whatever Gurshion has told you, things will not improve for you here friend. They will only get worse, and it is only a matter of time before you are asleep on that kitchen floor, waiting from someone like me to come and set you lose," Amanda said, rising from her stance and holding her hand open. The guard did not relax his stance, but stopped circling her. Amanda looked at him and smiled softly. He turned and ran away from her up the hall. Amanda turned and saw Jols waiting for her at the edge of the hallway.

"I did not consider reasoning," Jols mentioned, and Amanda laughed again.

"That was only two of them," Amanda said, staring at the body on the ground. She looked up the hall to see the third lying dead on the ground, and another guard standing over his body. Amanda squinted and walked up the hall. When she realized who it was, she ran.

"Darius!" she called, and he turned.

"Amanda!" he answered, stepping over the body, "Are you responsible for all of this?" he asked. Amanda laughed, and shook the man's hand.

"No," she answered, shaking her head, "not entirely."

"Yes," Jols corrected, "she is." Darius looked from one to the other, confusion written on his face.

"How did you escape?" Darius asked, avoiding the previous topic. Amanda looked to the door of the kitchen.

"Darius, can you unlock this door?" Amanda asked, pulling on the handle, "I will explain everything later. At the moment we are supposed to be away from this point." Darius nodded, and unlocked the door. Amanda grabbed one of the torches off of the wall, and entered the kitchen. Men stirred as she touched them, telling them to wake. Jols and Darius helped her, and soon the torches in the room were lit and the slaves were looking at Amanda.

"Lady Amanda!" one said, and Amanda looked to him.

"You have returned for us!" another said, and she held her hand up before her chest.

"My friends, you are free! King Arthur and his Knights have come to set you free. Please, let us leave this place. I have a job for you all to help me with. We need to get into the upper levels of the palace and make as much fighting like noise as possible."

"What are you talking about?" another asked, grunting.

"We are convincing Gurshion that there is a war going on around him, when indeed it is all just a farse," Amanda said, her hand gripping the torch tightly.

"What has happened to the guards?" a Saxon asked, looking at Darius.

"Knights approached us earlier in this night, explaining what our options were. Most of us who were present to them accepted their mission. The others have been killed," Darius explained, gesturing to the one that lay dead on the floor outside.

"My friends," Amanda continued, "you do not have to stay within these walls and aid us if you do not wish to. Those of the Irish and Saxon army are more than welcome to stay, but may also return to their own lands at their will. Those left of Arthur's army, I implore you, find whatever strength and courage you may have left to help your King! Camelot is yet ours, and on this night I will not fall to the tyranny and ridiculous visions of one man simply because no one tried to defeat him!" The men stood, and Jols let out a great cry of excitement. He ran from the room, torch in one hand and blade in the other. Men poured out of the kitchen into the halls. A few grabbed torches off of the walls, barred their fists and raced ahead to serve their King. Amanda ran with them, amongst the men that she had shared many trials with. As she ran, she spoke to the one beside her.

"Where is Marc?" she asked, and the man looked at her.

"In the singular cell," he answered, and Amanda nodded. She veered away from the group, and went down an empty hall way to the room she and Marc had spent a great deal of punishment together in. Her legs were tiring in their weakness, and Amanda became frustrated. Urging herself on, she wanted to get to him before it was too late. Traveling down the flight of stairs, she landed directly in front of the door. There was no guard standing watch, and she burst the door open. Allowing the light of her torch to fill the room, she looked around.

"Amanda?" came a voice, raspy and weak. Turning, she saw in the corner beside the door a man crumpled up and weak.

"Marc," she said softly, kneeling beside him. She reached into her pack for the leftover food she had with her, and forced it into his hands.

"I was wondering," he laughed, followed by a thick cough, "when you would be cast in here with my food." Amanda smiled, and touched the side of his face.

"Oh, Marc," she whispered, "what has he done to you?" Marc looked up at her, their eyes meeting for the first time in many days, and he smiled.

"Nothing, really," he answered. Amanda smiled back to him, and pressed her head against his forehead.

"So," Marc continued, lifting himself to his feet, "King Arthur and his Knights have managed to get back inside the palace?" A great quake sounded through the stone walls, and Amanda looked to Marc.

"Yes, we managed to get in this fortress and cause as much chaos as possible," Amanda answered, taking his hand and walking from the cell.

"I am very proud," Marc replied, honestly. Amanda looked to him, and they hurried up the stairs. As they reached the landing, Amanda turned to her friend.

"Marc," she directed, "head to the Great Hall. You will understand what to do when you arrive there. I have somewhere I need to be." They exchanged smiles, and Amanda continued up the stairs. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and as she turned the corner she slowed and gripped her back. The adrenaline was flowing away from her wounds, and she closed her eyes.

"Dear Lord," she said to herself, "I cannot wait to go to sleep."

* * *

Arthur and Kylian travelled quickly through the halls, taking a long way about the palace to the Great Hall. Arthur knew that Gurshion would be there, because that is where the throne was. Arthur's heart beat in his ears, and though Kylian babbled incessantly at his elbow, Arthur heeded him no attention. They had fought their way through a large throng of men, and Arthur was pleasantly surprised by Kylians skill with a sword. He had never thought of his thin, gangly advisor as skilled at anything other than matters of state. However, this night would be the night of surprises if there ever was.

When Arthur and Kylian approached the Great Hall, there was much silence. Voices from outside on the wall and in the town area carried in through all the open doors, but there were seldom people to be seen around. Arthur began to question what had happened to Amanda. He had hoped she would have gotten the men up to this area before now, seeing as she was close and he needed Gurshion to be believe what was actually happening. Arthur ducked into an opening in the wall, and pulled Kylian in with him.

"Arthur?" Kylian asked, lowering his blade.

"There are no men up here yet," Arthur explained, looking out up and down the corridors. He ran a hand over his forehead, mind racing for an explanation.

"She is fine, my lord," Kylian said, assuming Arthurs focus, "She is probably racing through the halls with them at this very moment." And, as if his words were magic, Arthur heard a great rush of voices and feet coming from his opposite side. He hid himself back into the opening as the men covered in dirt and rags circled the Great Hall, yelling and slamming whatever things they found against the walls. Arthur smiled and continued to the side entrance of the Great Hall. He pressed his ear against the wood, and could hear no voices. He turned to Kylian and counted down before thrusting open the door, sword drawn.

Upon entering the hall, Arthur noted Gurshion standing over the body of a woman cowering on the floor. Her hand was held up over her face, and Gurshion was glowering over her with a twisted expression on his face.

"Touch her," Arthur said, "and your life will end quicker than you could imagine." Gurshion jumped in surprise, his head snapping to Arthur in disbelief. His changed focus gave Sarah a moment to slide away from him, and she made it to a corner in the room. Arthur stared at Gurshion, sword still raised, walking slowly towards him. Gurshion started to laugh.

"Oh," he said between laughs, "Arthur, you _have_ outdone yourself this time." He started to walk towards Arthur, his face twisted in delight and happiness. "I have been waiting for you to return here, old friend." Arthur made a face of disgust.

"We were never any version of the word," Arthur said, stopping and standing his ground. At this, Gurshion laughed again.

"No, no," he said, "forgive me. We are not friends. We are the same exact man." Arthur felt his skin crawl.

"You and I are in no way similar," Arthur said, staring at his enemy, keeping his composure calm.

"But Arthur!" Gurshion said, hands gesturing around the room, "We are both kings!" Arthur scoffed.

"You are not, and never will be, a king," Arthur stated, glaring.

"I fear you may have forgotten what happens when a King leaves his throne for safer grounds," Gurshion said, his eyes darkening, all laughter leaving his face.

"A king is a king when crowned by his people," Arthur countered, stepping towards Gurshion.

"Ah," Grushion said, "Of course. 'Camelot will be wherever it's people are!'" His voice was mocking, sneering, "Your beloved Amanda said that to me while she was here. And it is to my dismay that she was technically correct. Which is why I was hoping you would return – so I could kill you myself!"

"You are the only one who will die this night," Arthur said. "Amanda was correct, Camelot has been living safely this past month and will retake this land tonight when you fall by my blade."

"I am surprised she is not here with you," Gurshion chimed. "Too weak, perhaps? I was hoping to kill her while she was here. The little tramp!" His voice echoed through the room at the last part, and Arthur felt his chest swell with anger.

"She is thrice the man that you have ever been," Arthur said, voice low and reflecting his anger. Gurshion grinned.

"I doubt that," he said. "You see, Arthur, I tried to tell you what the problem with a girl like Amanda is many years ago. Unlike your Guinevere, Amanda will try to take advantage of your love for her in a way that takes away your power. She will use you for the throne and the throne only. But, surely," his voice nearing a yell, "you should understand that. For you and I both see things the same way. We see what there is and we take only the very best. We capture what is not ours for ourselves and be damned with the rest."

"When have I ever given you that impression?" Arthur asked back, calmly. Gurshion could not answer. Arthur forwarded again, backing Gurshion into the throne. "As I thought. Gurshion, you and could never be the same person, for you and I differ on one fundamental. Men, to me, are individuals that will always have ideas better than mine, have words more powerful than mine, and have lives of greater importance. They are not just tools of achievement, like they are for you. And this is why we have differed over Amanda since the very beginning. She is a person that has continuously proved herself of far greater value than myself – to you she has been nothing but a woman whom you would never obtain." Gurshion felt himself being cornered, and tripped over the stairs leading to the thrones. He put his hands up to Arthur, eyes pleading.

"Arthur, my lord," he sputtered, "there are times when a man is to forgive another. I forgive you for turning me into this scoundrel." Arthur placed the tip of his blade to Gurshions throat, and relished the fear in his eyes.

"You are right, Gurshion," Arthur said, "There is a moment in every man's life where he is forgiven, and does the forgiving. I forgave you when I let you leave this palace three years ago. That moment of your life has passed. God will simply have to forgive me at my moment." Gurshion kicked his legs up underneath Arthur, knocking him over. Arthur slipped away, and his blade fell to the side. He heard Kylian yell out, and charge Gurshion. Gurshion rolled away, and Arthur struggled to get to his feet. Gurshion pushed Kylian away from him, crashing into Arthur as he was trying to stand. Arthur fell back to the ground, face pressed against the stone. He rolled on to his back, and suddenly Gurshion was standing over him. He pressed his foot into Arthurs throat, eyes gleaming with pride.

"Oh Arthur, Arthur, Arthur," Gurshion crooned, voice dripping with a fake sweetness, "what have you gotten yourself into?" Arthur looked around the ground, his sword and arm's length away. He reached, and Gurshion laughed.

"It appears you cannot reach, my dear King, what will you do now?" Gurshion asked, pressing further into Arthur's throat. Arthur grasped at his foot, trying to lift it off. "Not so brave and valiant now, are you?" Gurshion cackled, and Arthur looked to the side again. Kylian lay on the stone away from him, his sword nowhere to be seen. And then, there she was. Sarah – poor, disheveled Sarah was creeping towards Arthur and Gurshion. Her eyes were wide with terror, and she locked on Arthur. He pleaded with her, eyes trying to convey strength. She crouched down, reaching for the sword, silent as a mouse. Arthur looked back up at Gurshion, who was still speaking.

"And you will never learn," Gurshion said, leering down at Arthur, "that a man is greater than the sword he carries and the women that love him." Arthur gasped for a breath, his arm stretched out, fingers open for the blade.

"You are right, Gurshion," he said, voice strained and soft, "the greatest man is the one who is happy with his life." Metal slid across the floor as Sarah passed Arthur his sword. Arthur, in one great motion, lifted the blade and pushed it into Gurshion's stomach. Gurshion gasped, and his foot fell away from Arthur's throat. His hands went to his stomach, eyes wide in shock. A trail of blood welled up from inside of his mouth and trickled over his bottom lip. He stared at Arthur, and then fell to the side, off of Arthurs blade. Arthur gathered to his knees, and looked down at Gurshion.

"You," Gurshion breathed, "you were supposed to bow to me." Arthur shook his head.

"You were never worthy to bow to," Arthur said. Then, with one last look of disdain, Gurshion died. Arthur rose and hurried to his advisor.

"Kylian," he said, turning the man over. Kylian coughed, and opened his eyes.

"I am sorry," he said, "he hit me in the mouth so hard! I was so surprised!" Arthur laughed, and patted his friend on the shoulder.

"It would be best if you did not enter a fight again," Arthur said, lifting him to his feet. Kylian laughed, and nodded.

"I was never meant for a fight," he agreed. Arthur then looked to Sarah, but did not cross to her. There, standing in the middle of the hall, was Sarah in the embrace of one tall, blonde Knight that Arthur had known for quite some time.

"I am so sorry," he heard Sarah murmur. Gawain put his hand to the side of her face and lifted it to his.

"I am the one who is sorry," he said, smiling, "I should have been here much sooner." Sarah laughed and touched his hand. "You are very brave, and I am very proud of you." Gawain then leaned down, and placed a firm kiss upon her lips. Arthur smiled, and touched Kylian on the shoulder.

"She is waiting for me, Kylian," Arthur said. "Go out and spread the word that Gurshion has fallen. And wave the signal to the Woads. Then send Gawain, Galahad and Sarah out to receive the rest of the people. They will be here shortly." With that, Arthur turned from the room and ran out the door in which he had come, leaving Gurshions body sprawled in defeat.

* * *

Amanda had managed to get herself to the wall. She stared at the spot where Arthur and Evelina had stood in an embrace, and her heart would not settle. The rain had been falling down upon her head for a while now, and she could see her breath between the droplets. Her voice was hoarse from yelling instructions to the men, and the rogue guards she had fought off. She had paid no attention to the turmoil below or behind her once she had made it to their spot.

_He should have made it here by now_, she thought to herself. _Gurshion has beaten him and I am going to be killed the moment he finds me_. Her clothes were soaked through and through, her short hair hung in demented strands before her eyes. She supposed her skin was shivering in the down pour, but she could feel nothing but the pain in her back and in her heart.

_He is gone, and now I am destined to be alone_, she thought. She was thankful Nicolarious was safe with the Woads, but her heart ached for Arthur. She supposed that some of the water falling on her face were tears, but she could not tell what her feelings were. Her chest shook with either cold or emotion, but she could not move herself. She could not tear herself from this spot, her eyes staring at the stones he had tread so many times.

Behind her, there was a thud of wood hitting stone. Amanda jerked her head in that direction, preparing for Gurshion's men to take her away. But, it was not one of the guards. It was a man that she knew. A man she had known for some time now, and a man she had grown to care very much for. He came over the wall, their eyes locked on each other, afraid of moving too quickly or too slowly. He crossed and stood in front of her, his eyes brilliant and shining as he looked at her. Her lower lip trembled, watching the water pour over his face.

"He is dead," Amanda said. Arthur nodded, hair starting to fall with water.

"Sarah is alive," Amanda said. Arthur nodded again, sword still in hand, blood being washed away. Amanda stood there, before him, and suddenly she felt angry. She continued to look at him, waiting for words to cross his lips. Anything to assure her that this was real – that their love was real.

"For God's sake Arthur," she cried. "Say something!" He stepped towards her quickly, hand going to the side of her face and pulling her to him. His lips found hers and he kissed her with a passion she had never felt, let alone see come from him. Her eyes closed and her arms went around his body, rain pouring down on to their faces. She stroked his hair and he lifted her off the ground. They broke their kiss, and Amanda smiled down at him. Arthur was not smiling, but had a look of all seriousness.

"Marry me," he said. He planted Amanda back on her feet, and Amanda stared, stunned.

"Excuse me?" she whispered, her voice catching.

"I said marry me," he repeated. Amanda smiled as if his voice was the sweetest sound in the world.

* * *

_Review!_


	39. King and his Queen

Chapter 39: King and his Queen

Disclaimer: Here, in the final moments of this story, I should expect that it is clear I do not own any of Arthur and his Knights or the tales from the major motion picture. The characters I have grown to love the most are of my own creation. Enjoy this story.

Note: Thank you to all who see this story when it is lost in the multitude of stories on this site. May my best writing come forth in these last two chapters of Arthur and Amanda's tale. May their love be one that is endearing to you, and may your own imagination predict whatever has happened to them.

* * *

Amanda had found her way into the Great Hall, where members of the settlement and the men that had been trapped under Gurshion gathered from the storm outside. The settlers continued pouring in, and all were in search of food and warmth. Amanda had tried to do as much as she could for the people pouring, but her back had begun to give out. Taking a seat at the end of an empty table, Amanda laid her head in her arms and closed her eyes.

_I want to go to sleep_, she thought to herself. Her head was heavy, and her arms were weak with exhaustion. She smiled to herself at admiration of their victory. Bors and Ambrose had taken away Gurshion's body, while Galahad had cleaned up the pool of blood before the little ones could see it. She had no ideas as to where any of her friends were, but at this present moment she did not care. She breathed slowly, and was enjoying her peace when someone near her cleared their throat. Amanda winced in disbelief, and then sat herself up. She looked for the source, and then saw Sarah standing before her. Amanda smiled, trying to mask her surprise.

"Yes?" Amanda asked, confused. Sarah remained silent for a moment, staring at Amanda. Amanda was unable to read her expression, but had a feeling it was because Sarah was unsure of how to feel.

"I am sorry," Sarah murmured, barely audible about the din of the room. Amanda, however, understood. Amanda rose to her feet, and walked to Sarah. She held out her hand for Sarah to take, and when she did, tucked it under her arm. Amanda led Sarah out of the Great Hall, walking together like she had with Caia and Lai so many times. The hall was much quieter, and Amanda spoke softly.

"You have no reason to apologize to me, Sarah," she said, head straight forward, looking up the hall.

"I had endangered everyone in that room," Sarah argued, "including you. I should not have come here, it was foolish." Amanda smiled, and nodded.

"That is true," Amanda agreed, "it was foolish. And you did endanger everyone in that room behind us, not just the Knights and Arthur, but your family and friends. But, you and I are of the same shape Sarah, so you need not apologize to me."

"My lady?" Sarah asked, and Amanda tutted.

"No need for that, either," Amanda replied before clarifying. "You and I, Sarah, are similar people. I have stood in your shoes before, and I have only just climbed out of them. I was going to bring us back here whether you had come or not. Granted, you hastened our plans, but I am thankful you did." Amanda stopped walking, and turned to face the girl. Amanda smiled at her, and continued to hold her hand.

"You think me a fool for my reasons of coming," Sarah said, eyes questioning. Amanda shook her head.

"There is where you and I are of the same make," Amanda smiled. "I have been in your position Sarah, where it seems that the world only uses you because you offer it. You wanted Gawain to come after you – to show you that the things he said in moments of passion were true, or to see how he felt for you. I have pushed away every friend I have ever had in hopes they were persistent enough to make me believe they had a space in their heart for me. I am sorry that you felt that. Not that I would advise you doing it again." Sarah nodded in some embarrassment, and Amanda touched her shoulder. "You are a beautiful girl, of great kindness and bravery, so I hear. I owe you many thanks for saving Arthur's life. Without you, I would not be here at this moment." Sarah blushed at Amanda's words, and she finally smiled.

"He is a wonderful man, Amanda," Sarah said. Amanda smiled in return, and nodded.

"I am most fortunate to have earned his affection. And I thank you for all the moments you spent with him," Amanda replied, truthfully. "However, I am more thankful for your caring for Gawain. I love him very much Sarah, and the two of you are going to be very happy. Just do not be shy to argue with him – sometimes he needs a good yelling."

"How dare you encourage such action!" she heard a voice cry, and Amanda peered over Sarah's shoulder to find the source. Gawain and Bors were walking up the hall, a wide grin on Gawain's face. He held open his arms as Sarah ran to him. She jumped into his arms, and showered his head in kisses. Amanda smiled at the scene and leaned against the wall, exhaustion taking over her body again. Bors approached her, and held out his arm for her.

"You have been hurtin' for a while now, haven't ya lass?" he asked, and Amanda smiled.

"I have, Bors," she said. "I need rest, and the Caretaker if he is nearby." Bors walked Amanda back into the hall, and sat her back at the table she left. The air was filled with merriment and victory, and Amanda watched as family upon family was reunited with their long lost member. Others were saddened with news of ones lost, but the smiled were not faded from the sea of faces. She propped her elbows on the table again, and felt sleep taking her. She hoped Bors would find the Caretaker soon, as she couldn't imagine many were wounded, and she needed his attention.

"Amanda!" she heard someone cry, but she hadn't the energy to stand and search for them. Nicolarious ran into her vision, and she smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh, Nic!" she said, trying to seem energetic.

"That was the most incredible battle I have ever witnessed! Has Arthur told you what happened in this room?" he asked excitedly, sitting next to her and kissing her on the cheek.

"Yes, darling," she answered, "he did. Have you seen him?"

"He will be here, soon," said another voice. Amanda looked and saw Caia walking arm and arm with Ambrose, smiling beautifully. Amanda smiled, relishing in their affection and happiness.

"Thank you, Ambrose," Amanda said, nodding to her friend. "For keeping an eye on my ambitious brother." She heard Nicolarious sigh, and Ambrose made a short bow to her.

"Anything you need," he replied. "Besides, Nicolarious and I are the best of friends, are we not?" Nicolarious smiled again, and Amanda rested her head in her hand.

"Lady Amanada," she heard, her head weary of trying to recognize all of these voices coming at her. She looked up, and was relieved. The Caretaker came to her side immediately, and she looked up at Caia.

"Caia," she said softly, as the Caretaker looked at the back of her bloodied shirt, and then ripped it open, "I shall be needing another shirt. Would you be too troubled to find Anys for me?" Caia smiled, and looked over her shoulder.

"I shall go with her to get you a new change of clothes," she answered. Amanda smiled.

"There should be plenty in my room," Amanda added, and Caia walked away quickly.

"That Gurshion!" cried an unmistakable voice, "what a great oaf!" Galahad sat at the table across from Nicolarious and Amanda, smiling. Dirt covered his face, and blood stained his hands. "Getting up all of that blood was practically impossible. That was the most difficult task of this entire mission!" Amanda laughed softly, and then winced in pain as the Caretaker rubbed in the serum and ointment to her skin.

"My lady," he began, touching her shoulder, "you really will need to rest after this. Your back will never heal if you do not head my warning. Now that we are back I can close your wounds with the iron and it should speed your recovery." Amanda nodded and sighed. The Caretaker began rewrapping her wounds, and she held her torn shirt to cover her dignity, pink crawling into her cheeks. Bors settled down to Galahad with Vanora and several of his children running around him. Bors laughed as his children horsed, and Vanora kissed the top of his head lovingly. Sarah and Gawain managed to find themselves back to their table, and Amanda blushed deeper as more and more people surrounded her in a moment of indecency. She hung her head, trying to hide her embarrassment, and Galahad struck up some kind of conversation to draw attention away from her. Her eyes still hung heavy with exhaustion, and she stared down at her knees for lack of energy. The Caretaker finished his bandaging, and a set of feet came into her vision. Someone took her hand, and she was brought away by Caia and Anys, into the hall.

"Here, Amanda," Anys said, softly. Amanda looked up, and smiled her gratefulness.

"Thank you, so much," she replied. She took the clothes and turned away as both Caia and Anys shielded her from sight. She dropped her torn tunic, and when she tried to pull it over her head, she found her back screaming in protest.

"Help," she said weakly, and both women turned to her aid.

"Oh, darling," Caia said softly, "you need to rest." Amanda chuckled softly as her head was pushed through the soft tunic and popped out.

"I have been trying to sleep at that table, but I have so much company now," she said, smiling sarcastically. Anys laughed, and rolled up her old leggings as she stepped into the new pair. "This is a sad affair, however. I cannot even dress myself."

"I should think that the woman who crafted this plan is allowed to be dressed just once by the ones who love her best," Anys replied, standing and tucking Amanda's clothes under her arms. Amanda smiled and put an arm around Anys' shoulders.

"I wish Arthur would hurry back," Amanda muttered as they walked back into the Great Hall. She relishing in the feeling of her clean white tunic, and she rubbed her cheek against her shoulder to embrace its softness. Her brown leggings hugged her calves and thighs as they should. Caia ran her fingers through Amanda's moppy hair, and then tucked her hand into Amanda's.

"Thank you," she whispered, and Amanda looked at her in confusion.

"I do not understand," Amanda whispered back as they walked through the door to the table.

"I never should have worried about Ambrose's wellbeing when you had devised the plan. I am sorry if my lack of enthusiasm offended you," Caia added. Amanda shook her head, and smiled.

"Caia," she replied, "I do not know how I did not share your feelings before yesterday. I had never been so afraid to lose someone I love. I wish I could have understood when it mattered. But now we are here and are victorious, and we shall not have to worry in a long while of our loved ones dying at another's blade." The girls smiled at each other, and crossed to the table. Caia detached herself from Amanda to return to Ambrose, and Amanda smiled at the table filled of her entire life. She spotted Arthur walking up the aisle of the Hall, and they locked eyes. He did not smile, and instead turned his attention to a citizen seeking a word. She tried to divert her attention to the table, and the conversation floating between all of them, forcing her eyes to return every time she realized she was watching him. Occasionally, their eyes would meet and she would dart them away, her cheeks filling with pink and her breath going short. When she would force her eyes back to the table, her mind would flash to the wall, and his arms around her. The rain poured down her face, and she stared at him. His words stamped on the back of her eye lids, her hands clenched around her elbows as her mind raced over what had happened. Her daydream left her staring at the table, brought back by a small touch on her shoulder.

"Amanda," said Gawain, softly, "are you all right?" She smiled, but did not get the chance to answer him.

"Yes, Amanda," said Arthur, who had finally made his way to the table, "are you quite well?" Her eyes flashed to him, and her lips parted to answer, but could not formulate an answer. "I hope you are feeling better, and have dried off since our last encounter."

"Dried off?" Nicolarious asked. "Arthur, did you keep my sister out in the rain while you told her what happened in your battle with Gurshion?" Arthur looked down at him, and shrugged, smiling.

"No, Nic," he answered, "but I did find her out in the rain before I explained what had happened here in this hall." Nicolarious, brow furrowed, turned to face Amanda.

"Why were you out in the rain, Amanda?" Anys asked.

"Yes," added Galahad, "you are not well. You should not be doing things like that to yourself."

"Well," she replied, a little heatedly, unsure of what game Arthur was playing, "I was waiting for Arthur. He told me to wait there for him. Who am I to not do as I am told?" The table laughed, and she looked back to Arthur, eyebrow raised.

"What kind of meeting place is that?" asked Bors, who was hit by Vanora.

"You great lump, you," Vanora said, "that makes perfect sense." Arthur turned to Vanora, stopping in his path.

"Yes Vanora, I thought so. Many moments between Amanda and I have transpired in that place," he said. He turned his eyes back to Amanda before speaking, "However, it did not go quite as I had planned."

"You had plans for when you got to the Wall? In the rain? Cousin!" cried Ambrose, "were you trying to kill the girl?" Arthur laughed at his cousin, reaching Amanda's side.

"I did indeed have plans," he retorted, "and they were not to kill her. Amanda, why do you not share with them what my plans were?" Amanda stepped away from him, looking at him from over her shoulder some, before shrugging.

"To talk," she said, simply.

"What are you two playing at?" yelled Nicolarious, a slight bit of anger etched in his face. "You are both acting strange. Who stays out in the rain on the Wall after a battle to talk?"

"Nic," said Gawain, "we _are_ talking about your sister and Arthur. These two have done stranger things." Nicolarious looked at his friend, and considered his words. Judging by his silence, he must have found some truth in them. For Amanda and Arthur had done stranger things.

"And what did you talk about?" asked Caia, her eyes narrowed in this puzzle. Amanda looked to Arthur, smiling a little, her lips remaining sealed and still in this answer. She was not going to share what had been said.

"You see, Caia," Arthur said, his voice dropping some in volume, stepping towards Amanda. "Amanda and I had been so concerned for one another and their well-being that, naturally, when we saw one another we argued."

"Dear God," muttered Bors, his eyes rolling.

"Well, dear Bors," Amanda continued, "I had been standing on that wall for so long I had convinced myself of Arthur's death, as lovers do when they are worried. So, when Arthur finally appeared at our meeting spot and then proceeded to stand in silence, all I wanted him to do was speak."

"So, she told me to," Arthur added, laughing softly, "in a very aggressive manner."

"And then?" Sarah asked, entranced by their story telling.

"And then we kissed," Amanda breathed, as Arthur reached out to touch her cheek.

"Yes," he said, a little louder, "I picked her up and kissed her as the rain poured down upon us. Then, when the moment came, I said two words." His green eyes travelled from her pink lips to her eyes, which smiled at him in eternal happiness.

"What did you say, Arthur?" asked Nicolarious, still trying to piece together this story.

"'Marry me,'" Arthur answered, thumb stroking across her skin. There was a pause as they waited for Amanda to continue the story.

"Amanda," hissed Anys. "What did you say!"

"'What?'" Amanda answered. Anys huffed.

"I asked you what your reply was!" Anys replied, her voice urging.

"That _is _what I replied, Anys," Amanda clarified, "I did not believe he had asked me." Amanda could not tear her eyes away from Arthur's, her body submerged in the feeling only he had ever made her feel, and her mind raced through all of the days she had spent with him.

"And then I said it again," Arthur continued, stepping closer to Amanda. "I said to her 'marry me.'" Amanda smiled, her eyes watering some in happiness.

"What the hell did you say, Amanda?" cried Nicolarious, but Amanda did not answer. "Amanda!"

"She has not answered me, as of yet, Nic," replied Arthur. "For you see, the moment was interrupted by the coming of the settlement."

"You could not have given him a on word answer, woman?" yelled Galahad.

"Galahad," scolded Caia, and he scowled.

"What? I have been waiting for this stupid moment for years now and she could not spare one moment to say yes or no?" he asked, and Amanda smiled.

"No, Galahad," she said, "I wanted to wait until this moment." She laughed softly, and Arthur stepped back from her. He took her hand and, slowly, their eyes locked, got down to one knee. She gasped softly, which was echoed by the other women at the table. Amanda faintly heard chairs slide away, and a general hush fall over the hall.

"Please," Arthur said, softly, his voice carrying just to her ears, "there will be no other who can make me happier or more proud. I would be honored, and the most fortunate, to call you my wife. I love you, Amanda, and never want to live a day without you." She looked at his face, smiling and tears continuing to well in her eyes. She took a deep breath, her heart seemingly stopped in this moment.

"Yes," she answered, her tears choking her voice. She nodded, for fear of him not having heard her. He let out a breath, a smile spreading over his lips. He stood, his hands finding her waist and lifting her up again like he had on the wall. She let out a laugh, and the ones at the table cheered for them. Whispers flew about the room, and then the entire hall was clapping and cheering. She smiled down at him, and he placed her back on her feet. Her hand went to his face, and he stood close to her. He leaned down, and they kissed in the celebration.

* * *

The summer breeze that floated in through Amanda's window touched her short curls. Two more months had passed since she and Arthur agreed to marry, and now it was the day they were to be joined. Amanda sat in front of her mirror, like she had so many times before, and stared at her reflection. Anys appeared in her view, carrying a small bouquet of flowers. Her dark hair was down around her face, and she had one the burgundy dress that had been given to Amanda a year ago. She smiled up at her friend, and Anys touched Amanda's hair.

"I wish it had not taken so long to get to my ears," Amanda lamented, smiling. Anys nodded, and looked at her.

"The time has come for you to put on your dress," she said, stepping out of the mirror and fetching the white dress that Vanora had made for Amanda. Amanda rose and slid the soft cotton and satin over her body. In the mirror there was a short reflection of Amanda's marred back, which had taken two more weeks to heal after the Caretaker had closed her wounds. The skin was pink and raised, but Amanda did not care. The hem of the dress hit the floor without a sound, and Amanda allowed Anys to tie the blue sash around her waist into a bow. Amanda turned back to face the mirror, and ran the brush over her curls once more. A knock came at the door.

"Are you ready sister?" Nicolarious asked, his brown hair having lightened in the sun, dressed in the finest clothes he had. Amanda smiled and took the arm he had extended to her. The three left the room, and headed out to the ceremony. A moment later, Anys dashed back into Amanda's room to the mirror, picking up the bouquet of gardenias that Amanda needed to carry down the aisle.

Outside, in the courtyard, Anys handed Amanda her bouquet and headed to her seat. Nicolarious lead her to the head of the aisle, the sound of a lute playing somewhere ahead of them.

"You are making the best decision of your life," Nicolarious said to her, pausing as the guests realized the bride had arrived. Amanda laughed, and squeezed her brothers arm.

"I disagree, brother," she said, jokingly, "I think the best decision I have made was when I decided to believe mother that you were a blessing and not an eyesore." Nicolarious stifled his laughter, and took the first step down the aisle. Amanda looked up from her flowers, and sought Arthur at the end. He stood there, sword tied around his waist, crown upon his head, and Ambrose at his side. Merlin stood behind them, to preside over the ceremony.

As Arthur stared up the aisle at his oncoming bride, and his heart skipped a beat. He had never seen a more beautiful woman in his life, and he felt the sunshine warm upon his face.

"Thank you," he whispered, sending his message to God.

"She is stunning," he heard Ambrose say behind him, and Arthur smiled.

As Amanda reached the end of the aisle, she handed her bouquet to Caia and kissed her brother on the cheek. She took Arthurs hand and they turned together to face Merlin. As Merlin began their ceremony, Arthur leaned into Amanda's side and whispered in her ear.

"You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," he said. Amanda blushed, and she squeezed his hand.

"I am the most fortunate woman to have you," she said, looking up at him. His eyes were on her, filled with the same compassion and adoration he had when he was at Caia and Ambrose's wedding.

"And I the most fortunate man," he replied. "You will make the most gracious queen." She smiled and then turned her eyes back to Merlin. She knew that Arthur did not turn right away, and she let his eyes linger on her before he turned back to their wedding.

"I, Arthur Castus," he began, "do hereby promise to you my life and affection, through sickness and dark days. I shall commit my body and heart to you, and protect you from all who would tarnish our lives and love." He turned to Amanda, taking both her hands in his, and slid a small silver band over her finger, sitting above the sapphire ring he had given her so long ago.

"I, Amanda Marslyn," Amanda replied in her vows, "do hereby promise to you my life and affection, through sickness and dark days. I shall commit my body and heart to you, and protect you from all who would tarnish our lives and love." She reached back for her ring from Caia, and then slid the sliver band over his wide finger. Inlaid in the silver were four onyx stones. Arthur admired the ring before turning back with Amanda to face Merlin.

"People of Camelot, and of Briton!" cried Merlin. "I present to you Arthur and his wife!" The guests clapped and cheered as the couple kissed, but there was not much time for celebration. The small group that had attended the ceremony left the courtyard quickly, and Amanda and Arthur hurried back into the castle.

"Perhaps this was not the best of our ideas, darling," Amanda said as they hurried through the corridors. Arthur smiled back at her, and was joined by Kylian.

"Everything is in place. The city is beyond the doors, and the platform is as you requested," Kylian reported. Amanda nodded but barely listened, her mind racing over the things that she and Arthur had been rehearsing for weeks. Her mind flashed to the library, and the text that he had laid before her to memorize.

"It is important that you be able to recite this," he had said to her, in a serious tone. "The people have not heard it since Guinevere was crowned, and it is important that you make the same oath that I did." Amanda understood the gravity of being able to recite the oath, and she knew it by heart. Her heart was just worried that perhaps she should not be a queen. Amanda stopped in her tracks, Arthur's hand slipping away from hers and getting his attention. He turned, a confused look in his eyes.

"Amanda," said Kylian, "we must go on."

"Kylian," Arthur said, sensing Amanda's unease, "we will be out in a moment. Go ahead." Kylian shifted on the spot, his eyes passing from Amanda to Arthur and back again. He sighed softly and then went out into the city.

"What if I am not meant to have this role?" Amanda asked, her voice trying to hide her uncertainty. She eyes ventured to Arthur, afraid to see disappointment in his eyes, but she did not find it there. He crossed the distance that separated them, and picked up her hands. He pressed them to his chest, right over his heart.

"What if you were made for no other role?" he asked. Amanda looked up into his face, searching for doubt. Again, she did not find it.

"I am not a great leader, like you. I am flawed and have said and done things that no woman of royalty should ever say or do," she said, shaking her head.

"You are a great leader, Amanda, and it is evident in this moment. Do not shy from this responsibility. You are more capable than I of this role, and I cannot do it without you," Arthur said. "You have much to offer these people. You believe in them as they do not, and at this point there is nothing they need more. You were indeed built for this position, my love." Amanda shifted, and closed her eyes. She swallowed, and felt her blood course with a sense of capability she had not felt in a long time. When she opened her eyes again the grey irises shone with a redefined purpose, and the admiration she felt for the people that awaited her beyond those doors spurred her.

"Let us go," she said, taking Arthur's hand and continuing towards the door. Arthur matched her pace and then nodded to the guards who stood at the ready. They opened the doors and the light that poured through them was brilliant and bright. The palace filled with the cheers and chants of the people. Amanda and Arthur walked through into the sunlight, amidst falling flower petals and hands waving to them. A path was cleared from the stairs to the platform. Amanda looked to the platform and saw her brother, and the Knights standing a top it with both thrones sitting there, empty. Hers was to be the one on the right side. It was not as tall as Arthur's, nor as angular, but curved at the top with a crown of wheat, fruit and flowers a loft it. Rings of flowers flew through the air at Amanda and Arthur, as they processed up through the people to the center.

Kylian waited in front of the throne, holding a silver crown for Amanda's head and the book in which the Creed of Camelot was written. Amanda took a deep breath, and Arthur released her hand. Kylian stepped forward, and a great silence fell over the crowd. Small children were hoisted on shoulders and men and women shuffled from side to side to see their new queen. Arthur stood before Amanda, a smile upon his face, and took the creed from Kylians hand.

"Amanda Castus," he began, and a great cheer erupted from the crowd. Arthur waited for it to die before he continued, "Do you accept the position of Queen of Briton, and all its responsibilities as declared in this here, Creed of Camelot, so put forth by the people of this city before you?" Amanda took a sweep look around her, and steadied her voice.

"I so solemnly swear to uphold the responsibilities and duties to the people of Camelot as put forth in the Creed of Camelot. I promise with an honest heart and clear mind that, no matter where Camelot shall be, or where one of its citizens shall roam, to protect the dignity, sanctity and welfare of this, Camelot, and all of Briton. I hereby declare to aid all who seek sanctuary upon our shores and to ward off evil of all natures from our land. I intend to do my best of these enlisted and other duties, or resign my post to the people of Camelot," Amanda recited, the speech filling her breast with pride and integrity, her eyes looking to Arthur's for approval. Arthur handed back the creed and Amanda knelt down on the wood.

"Then I, Arthur Castus, crowned King of Briton, do bestow upon you this crown, and the title of Amanda, Queen of Briton!"

His hand found hers and he lifted her to his feet. The crowd cheered louder than before, and flower petals rained down upon them once more. Amanda spun around in joy, the silver, delicate crown glinting in the sunlight. Her eyes caught her brother, and Gawain, and Galahad and Bors. She smiled and felt the breeze take her hair across her face. She stopped before Arthur, once more and his hand found her waist. Trumpets and lyres and lutes played in victory as they stood upon the platform. Her body tingled from his touch, and she stared into his face.

"How do you feel," he began, "Your Majesty?" Amanda laughed softly, and grasped his waist.

"As though I am only dreaming," she replied, and leaned into him. Her mouth found his ear, and just before she kissed his cheek, she whispered, "so please do not wake me." Arthur pulled back and their lips briefly touched before he turned her away and thrust their clasped hands into the air.

* * *

_Only one more._


	40. Epilogue

Epilogue

* * *

There was a great gust of wind and her hair whipped back off her neck. Her blue grey eyes closed and head tilted back to bask in the sunlight. It was summer again, and the trees were vibrantly green, filled with life. She had slipped her feet from her shoes to feel the blades of grass between her toes. She opened her eyes again and looked down at the pale skin peeking out from under the hem of her purple dress.

"Amanda!" a voice called, and Amanda looked down the hill. Galahad stood at the bottom, waving her down. Amanda gathered her shoes and worked her way down the hill, gravity taking her rather quickly. She laughed as she ran, passing Galahad before she could stop, forcing him to run after her. Once she slowed she looked to him, eyes raised in question.

"Kylian sent word for you," he explained, "you are needed at the Round." Amanda nodded and paused to ruffle his greying hair. He responded with a laugh and she hurried back to the palace. Her golden curls bounced behind her, the longest strand reaching her lower back. The scoop of her dress revealed the smallest portion of her scar before her hair covered it. Upon reaching the edge of the palace steps, she slipped back into her shoes and went directly to the room. Fidgeting with her dress and hair, she opened the door and walked inside. Chairs scraped upon her entrance, and she took in several off the faces seated around her. Her husband was seated across the room, and she went to his side. She looked down upon the table, and picked up the piece of parchment her husband was studying. His hair had collected more strands of grey, and his face had been graced with a few more fine lines, but together he had aged without notice. He looked up at her, and waited for her reaction.

"An agreement with the Saxon?" Amanda asked, her eyes blinking to make sure they were correct.

"Their reports indicate that they are running out of land to farm on, and need an agreement to keep Woads out of their boundaries," responded Gawain. Amanda took her eyes from the parchment to acknowledge Gawain, who's hair had darkened over the years and was now pulled back. Amanda smiled at her friend, and placed the parchment back on the table.

"You cannot begin to try and control the Woads, Arthur," Amanda began, and Arthur nodded.

"Nor do I intend to. The rest of this proposal is achievable, but they will have to reach their own terms with the Woads," Arthur replied.

"Perhaps you speak to Kayton," Amanda suggested. Merlin had passed two years before, and Kayton now led the Woads. "Inform him that the Saxons are looking to settle some unrest, and tell the Saxon leaders to search out Kayton in order to make a settlement."

"I do not trust the Saxons," mentioned Gawain, with an air of annoyance.

"Yet they have provided us with this document," challenged Arthur. Gawain took in a breath, and Amanda sensed an argument about to arise between the two.

"Gentlemen," she interjected, her high voice raised, "this would not be the moment to argue. Gawain, say this document provided grounds to attack should they extend beyond the boundaries we place on them. Arthur, remain cautious of these people." Both men glowered at her, and nodded after a short moment. Amanda went to the door, and curtsied out.

"I hate when she does that," Arthur muttered, winking at Gawain.

"Just when I think I have you!" Gawain jested, smiling at his old friend.

Amanda turned the corner and was chased by the laughter of small children. Looking around her, five small bodies rushed by.

"Hello!" one called, and Amanda laughed.

"You shall never catch us!" chimed another, and they all stopped. The oldest, a boy with dark curls looked back at her, and Amanda's eyes settled on his face.

"You should not say such things, Tristan," he said, poking a smaller, fair haired boy in the chest, "you have never seen her run."

"But you are about to!" Amanda cried. The children screamed and darted up the stairs, Amanda chasing after them.

"Watch out!" someone cried from the top of the stairs. Amanda rounded the corner after them, and happened upon her brother. "Amanda!"

"Nicolarious!" Amanda said, touching his arms, "Where are you off to?"

"I am bringing these blankets to the courtyard for our gathering. It is not long off now, you should round up the little ones," he said, laughing. She stood on her tip toes to ruffle his hair, and turned around to see four little faces staring anxiously at her from behind a tapestry.

"Round them up," she said, "right." Dashing off after them, they began to run again, laughter peeling out of their mouths. Amanda hurried along the corridor, the entrance to the Wall before them, sunshine pouring in. Amanda slowed to a walk, and smiled as three crossed into the light, and two stood behind.

"Is everything all right, mother?" asked the oldest boy, hurrying back to her and clasping her hand, "is it the baby?" Amanda smiled down at him, and rested her hand upon her rounding belly.

"No, darling," she answered, "it is not the baby. The baby is fine."

"Then why have you stopped running?" he asked, looking up at her. Amanda looked away from him for a moment, staring out into the sunshine, not yet able to see the sky.

"I was admiring the beauty, Lancelot," she answered, stopping and crouching down before him. "Do you understand how much your father and I love you?" He smiled and wrapped his thin arms around her neck.

"As many leaves on the trees and worms in the ground," he answered. Amanda laughed, and nodded. He released her and she looked into his grey eyes. "What about Aurelia?" he asked. Amanda looked to the door way, and held her hand out to the smallest child. She walked confidently to her mother, and held out her small, three year old hand.

"Aurelia," Amanda began, running her hand over her daughters light golden curls, "do you understand how much dada and I love you?" The small girl smiled widely, her lips honest, like her fathers, her green eyes sparkling. She nodded, and Amanda leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "More than stars in sky," she murmured, her voice soft and pure.

"Mother," said Lancelot, touching her shoulder, "how much do you and father love each other?" Amanda looked at her son pensively, and she saw in him the many years that had passed since that moment on the platform of the city. Camelot had grown since then, as had her family. Her friends had all wed and made children, her brother had fallen in love and been knighted. The grass that grew over her parents graves was thick and lush. The wall had been rebuilt and the people had travelled from far lands to reach Camelot. Her eyes passed from her son to her daughter, who placed her small hand on Amanda's growing stomach, and was reassured with the future of all she and Arthur had worked for.

"One day," Amanda began, after her long pause, "I shall tell you the story of your father and I. It is a story that you may not believe for a very long time, but I shall tell you anyway. And then," she continued, touching her hand to his rosy cheek, "you will understand how very true it all is."

"What day will that be?" he asked, naturally. Amanda smiled at her son, and clasped Aurelia's hand.

"It will be, my dear boy," said the deep voice she had grown so fond of, "the moment your heart seems to skip a beat." Arthur had come from around the corner. Lancelot smiled at the sight of him, and ran to him, and Arthur scooped him up in his arms. Lancelot looked at his father, and Arthur smiled. "You will meet a girl who is more beautiful than any other girl you have ever seen, and when you look into her eyes you will feel a tremendous hope fill your heart. A hope that makes you feel as if anything and everything is possible." Lancelot furrowed his brow in attempted contemplation, but Arthur had turned his gaze on someone else. Amanda rose from her crouch, lifting Aurelia in her arms and settling her on her hip. Her blue grey eyes met his, and he smiled.

"More beautiful than Airgid?" Lancelot asked, rubbing his forehead, trying to fathom such a thing. Amanda and Arthur laughed, Airgid being Galahad and Anys daughter. Lancelot was incredibly fond of Airgid, and thought her the most beautiful girl in the entire world.

"Possibly," answered Arthur, and the family began to walk to the door leading to the wall.

"More beautiful than my cousin Bella?" Lancelot asked, and his parents laughed again. Bella was Ambrose and Caia's daughter. Lancelot laughed with them.

"She will not be more beautiful than our Aurelia," Amanda cooed, rubbing her nose to her daughters.

"Lancelot!" called a small voice. "Aurelia! Hurry!" Amanda and Arthur placed them down and off they ran into the sunlight. Amanda turned to Arthur and looked at her husband, smiling.

"They are the most beautiful children," Arthur sighed, turning to his wife. He smiled back at her, and reached across to touch her face. Amanda leaned into his hand and sighed at his touch. Her eyes found his, and the glow of the outdoors was touching her fair skin.

"I am still as much in love with you as I ever was," she said, resting her hand upon his and smiling.

"I am more in love with you than I ever have been," Arthur replied. Amanda laughed softly, and stepped towards him. He pressed his forehead against hers and breathed in her gentle scent. Amanda let her eyes close as his free hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her to him. Her still small baby belly did not separate them too much, and she pressed her hand into her back. She tilted her head back, eyes still closed, waiting for him to kiss her. Moments passed and there was no kiss. Amanda opened her eyes a peek to look up at him, and her mouth tweaked in annoyance. He was smirking at her, his green eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Oh, Arthur!" she said, exasperated, "This is where you are to kiss me romantically." Arthur laughed heartily, and Amanda grew more annoyed.

"You, my dear, put too high of expectations on me," he said, the wrinkles around his eyes crinkling affectionately.

"I should think," Amanda said, her voice feigning extreme aggravation, "that after all of these days together – _years _– that you would know by now." Amanda pulled away and turned back towards the door.

"Know what, my love?" he asked, his hand running from her littlest finger up to her bare shoulder. Amanda smiled at his touch, and looked at him.

"That you will always be the only thing I shall ever want," she whispered, "and that no matter what action you take, it is exactly as I wanted." Arthur neared her, his arm wrapping around her again, this time more firmly. He looked into her eyes and gripped her back, his lips touching hers tentatively. She closed her eyes again, and she knew he was looking down at her. She smiled and he finally pressed himself against her lips. His kiss was warm and familiar, and her fingers and toes tingled with the excitement and joy he always filled her with. She ran her fingers through his curls as she distantly remembered always wanting to do, and breathed in his scent that had tantalized her a life time ago.

Once they broke apart from what seemed an endless moment, Amanda opened her eyes and giggled quietly. Arthur smiled down at her, and pulled softly on her curls.

"It seems like yesterday when your hair was at your ears," he teased, clutching her hand to the crook of his elbow.

"It was quite awful, was it not?" Amanda asked, placing her body next to his as she had become so accustomed to.

"No," Arthur answered, "nothing about you has ever been awful." They began walking out to the wall, passing through the door way that had been eternalized in their relationship. "You have always been perfect." Arthur's voice carried to her ears, and the couple was engulfed by the sunshine awaiting them on the other side. The day was beautiful and the breeze gently kissed their faces. The sun shone through all the gapes and windows of the palace, illuminating the slants of their bedrooms, the courtyards and outer corridors. It graced the barracks and the fields of practice, as well as the Wall and the stones of the Great Hall. It passed through the stained glass of the library, illuminating the floors with the impossible stories of King Arthur and his Knights. It touched all the platforms that held the great moments of their lives, and the faces of those they held most dear.

It shined down upon the blades that crossed over the Round Table, passing through the window in the ceiling and glowing over the great blade of Arthur Castus – the man who believed in the rights of all men, and had a love for a woman that rivaled those to come after him. The sun shone down upon the second blade; the blade of Amanda Marslyn Castus, the woman who won the heart of a king against all odds, and who served a country, though long forgotten, with a greater heart and life than any other man could possess. _God's Speed, Knight of the Earth_.

* * *

_I would like to thank all those who have taken the time to read this story. I hope it has touched you as it has me, and has spoken to you. I hope it encourages you to write, and to explore the stories that you love most! I welcome all comments and questions, whatever they may be. I shall be moving on from King Arthur now, please look for my next series of stories over in the Harry Potter section (seemingly with everyone else!)_

_Lots and lots of love, tadri33. _


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